oh dear....advice needed on terrible jumping experience

Thanks for your comments ReefurG - Perhaps you should consider your replies before posting because your comments are very subjective and offer nothing more than criticism - and have made me feel terrible unlike every other person who replied. I asked for advice, not to be gunned down but because I was interested in whether others had similar experiences as mine and what they did or would recommend. Most have said work at it, try harder, dont have such high expectations, others have said dont waste time and energy and make the problem worse. You have jumped to the conclusion that you feel that I am just going to pass her on just because I want the perfect horse and cant be bothered to work at it - this is not the case - I am having lessons already with an excellent dressage instructor and if I wasnt bothered I wouldnt be asking for advice. I have owned horses all through my life but not recently - I know its hard having horses. Admittedly I dont want a project - I wanted a straightforward horse without many issues but in return wasnt asking for an affiliated showjumper or 3 day eventer - is that not fair? The odd stop here or there fine - it happens, I know that. The reason I hastily asked if I should sell would be to pass her on to someone who would be better with her abilities (ie confident at jumping)than me rather than me ruining a nice horse. Perhaps I was rather rash to originally post so quickly with emotions running high, having gone out to give her her tea and rug her up. I will hesitate before doing so again in case I receive responses like yours, it may be your opinion but please think about how your comments may hurt people, before replying.
On the other hand, thanks to everyone else, you are what makes this board worthwhile.
 
Ignore the criticism and focus on the very useful advice given on here. Been through exactly the same with Pidge on Monday and looking back on it it was all down to me not giving him the right signals, help, guidance etc etc. Your horse obviously jumps ok that much you know already. Just try to put this behind you - hard I know it is - but it will all come together
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you dont mention in your OP whether the jumps you actually jumped her over before buying her were SJ or XC jumps? There are many horses who love SJing but havent seen or done XC jumps? Could this be the problem?

To give you hope, my old boy is now 28, I got him as a retired Grade A showjumper, not as easy as you would think in fact harder than a horse that has just learnt to jump as they know all the tricks!!

We spent over 6 months being eliminated!!!! - when we finally gelled we had much success winning many classes, but it took nearly a year to get to know each other!! He is now semi retired and hacks and hunts but dont give up just yet!
 
I think you've just transferred your fear to her - my new gelding jumps so well but the other day he refused at a 1ft cross pole.....he just stopped dead twice.

When I look back I realise that because I was nervous I must have jabbed him in the mouth first time - he's not like the big WB I had on loan.

So I'm going back to basics and going to learn like a complete beginner ie folding over trotting poles etc.

Not sure about your situ, but I've never learnt to jump properly so I think it's a good idea for us and sounds like it may be for you? Just think how well you'll jump at the end of it!
 
thanks Wink....spring - just the encouragement I need. Interestingly I have jumped her more over xc type fences - more and more convinced she is a very sensitive and clever horse and completely picked up on my nerves. Back to basics I think for me .... I feel much encouraged that people are saying that it has taken them a good year or so to bond really well with their horses - it always seemed to me that others can just get on and ride really well regardless of how long they have known the horse.
 
I also had over 10 years off riding and I can sympathise with you completly. Please ignore anyone who is nasty - until someone has walked in your shoes then how can they comment on how you feel.

Personally I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a horse purchased as a reliable confidence giver to jump the small sort of course you described. Her job is to give you confidence and forgive your mistakes. She is not doing that by the sounds of it. Not everyone has the time to ride daily. Many of us have to work long hours to support our horse and we don't want months of hassle trying to sort out issues the horse may have. I don't think you should worry unduely - as it has been already said, this may be a one off. Some lessons with a good jumping instructor should give you more of an idea of what is going wrong. However, if this continues then it may be that she is not suitable to give you the support and confidence you need. You may feel she is worth persevering with but you may not - and there's no shame in that. You aren't saying you are a fab rider and its all the horse's fault - you admit you need an experienced horse prepared to help and teach you, and its not her or your fault if she is not 'it'. We all needed such a horse to teach us so don't feel embaressed about admitting it! An unsuitable horse is as expensive to keep as a suitable one, and it doesn't do either her or you any favours trying to jump her if it destroys both of your confidence. Both of you need to be happy and enjoy what you are doing after all.

Good luck
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