Oh dear

J

jellybean55

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My friend, who I didn't even know had any interest I horses, has decided she is going to buy herself 2. She's been posting adverts on Facebook looking for a field (which apparently she has now found) and is starting her search for the horses. She's looking at pages like 'horses for sale under £300' so is no doubt going to end up with a youngster who needs experience or possibly something with issues!

I've tried to drop cheeky comments re expense and time etc bearing in mind she can barely afford I put petrol in her car, I just know this is gOing to be a disaster and feel for the horse she ends up with. Some
 
Oops posted too early..

Some of you might say its none of my business and you're right but I can just see the way this is going to go :( should I just keep well out of it or try and pursuade her against it?
 
Just keep dropping big hints.
How about buying her a present, like a horse management book?

If they take advice and ask questions it could work out.
Well we hope.
Why not get her try try and adopt a rescue, then they will be honest and blunt about her experience.
 
I think she thinks she can just stick it out in a field and pop by when she fancies! Not a bad idea about the rescue horses. I'm not a horse owner I share, but please tell me it will cost at least £100 per month even with the cheapest of rent for field?
 
I think for the horses sake, she really needs you (or a very experienced horsey friend, if you feel awkward about it) to have a frank sit down talk about it to make sure she understands exactly what owning horses involves. Otherwise, if she's as clueless as it seems, it's quite possible these horses will end up RSPCA cases without her even realising it. If you're worried about it being none of your business I would beg to differ; if a horses welfare/safety, health & happiness is at risk it's every experienced persons business. If she's inexperienced it would also be unsafe for her to keep horses by herself with no support (no-one around to call an ambulance).
Has she even had riding lessons? I had lessons for two years before buying my first horse, then kept him on livery at the same stables to make sure I had experienced people around to help me. I would suggest she does the same.
 
spacie1977 said:
I think for the horses sake, she really needs you (or a very experienced horsey friend, if you feel awkward about it) to have a frank sit down talk about it to make sure she understands exactly what owning horses involves. Otherwise, if she's as clueless as it seems, it's quite possible these horses will end up RSPCA cases without her even realising it. If you're worried about it being none of your business I would beg to differ; if a horses welfare/safety, health & happiness is at risk it's every experienced persons business. If she's inexperienced it would also be unsafe for her to keep horses by herself with no support (no-one around to call an ambulance).
Has she even had riding lessons? I had lessons for two years before buying my first horse, then kept him on livery at the same stables to make sure I had experienced people around to help me. I would suggest she does the same.
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I don't think she has ever had a lesson in her life. She tells me she rode when she was a kid but in the 6 or so years we've been friends i've not known her to have any contact with horses whatsoever. When we went for a weekend away I suggested we go for a hack at the local stables but she said she couldnt afford it (if she cant afford this how the heck does she think she can afford to keep 2!) either that or she really never has never ridden and didnt want to do it with me.

I thought it was all talk to start with as she didnt mention if for a while but now it seems she's going to go ahead. I will most certainly make it my business is she buys and they dont get the love and care they need
 
Well stop buying her petrol for a start, if she can't afford to run a car she certainly can't afford rent for a field, water, feed extra, never mind 2 horses/ponies. Don't be nice be blunt.
 
Definately have a sit down chat with her...or maybe you could rig a conversation with another horsey friend in a casual having a coffee kinda way, with her present, where you both bemoan the price of keeping horses and the work involved..??
Going in all guns blazing may alienate her and then you wont be able keep an eye out for the horses sskes xx
 
I like the little present and horse management book with a few post its all the way through with prices on! Not lowest price about mid price... some people think horses are like dogs! Grr
 
Just be massively over enthusiastic about the idea. Insist on coming with her to check her new field and do a scrupulous litter pick and weed check, during which you can talk about poo picking, worms and cost of wormer, mud fever, the best ways to manage the hassle of hating fields, and so on. Then go round and sit down and enthusiastically draw up a list of costs. Finally, look at some horses for sale and draw up a plan of what each one would require - ground work to prevent biting and kicking? Expensive tack? Training or lessons? At best you can show her just how complicated, expensive and difficult it can be. At worst you might at least be in a position to influence her if she does go ahead.
 
Theocat said:
Just be massively over enthusiastic about the idea. Insist on coming with her to check her new field and do a scrupulous litter pick and weed check, during which you can talk about poo picking, worms and cost of wormer, mud fever, the best ways to manage the hassle of hating fields, and so on. Then go round and sit down and enthusiastically draw up a list of costs. Finally, look at some horses for sale and draw up a plan of what each one would require - ground work to prevent biting and kicking? Expensive tack? Training or lessons? At best you can show her just how complicated, expensive and difficult it can be. At worst you might at least be in a position to influence her if she does go ahead.
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This
 
This is a always a no win situation, and concern for the ponies is real. You could either show her or print off information from on line. Information from a Welfare organisation might persuade her more about its importance, than a book.

The Blue Cross has an excellent series of leaflets on their web site that you could print off. They are easy to read and cover very well what is needed to keep a horse in a field, there are good ones on worming etc as well. I think Redwings might have something similar as well.

Good luck, do hope your friend will take advice /help from you for the sake of the ponies. I agree with poster above do not appear negative about it, it can have the effect of making a person more determined and secretive.
 
Thank you all for your advice. Unfortunately we don't have any mutual horsey friends, I think she's has decided she's into horses because I am, she tends to copy most things I do!

Well today she has told Facebook she may have found herself 'something to go in the field' so I'm waiting to find out what she has got lined up

I'm finding it hard to bite my tongue and say how ridiculous she is but have taken on board what you say about being negative. Just a tad annoying when like most responsible horsey people, I've invested a lot of time and money learning yet still don't feel ready to take that step of buying my own, and she thinks she can just buy one like its a hamster in a pet shop! I will be there to help her out for the horses sake but I don't know enough about the care side, eg field maintenance, worming etc, I even find it difficult to judge whether a horse is overweight so I can really see how this might end up if she goes ahead :(
 
I haven't time to read the whole thread so apologies if this has already been suggested: why don't you suggest going together on a horse-owners' course? If as you say she likes to do the things you do, she should be up for it. :)
 
Theocat said:
Just be massively over enthusiastic about the idea. Insist on coming with her to check her new field and do a scrupulous litter pick and weed check, during which you can talk about poo picking, worms and cost of wormer, mud fever, the best ways to manage the hassle of hating fields, and so on. Then go round and sit down and enthusiastically draw up a list of costs. Finally, look at some horses for sale and draw up a plan of what each one would require - ground work to prevent biting and kicking? Expensive tack? Training or lessons? At best you can show her just how complicated, expensive and difficult it can be. At worst you might at least be in a position to influence her if she does go ahead.
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This is a great idea, might let her see the level of care and responsibility horses require! When she realises how much they cost and how much attention they need she might be put off.
Also make sure she knows what type of horses she'll be looking at for under £300 and explain why they may not be suitable for her. Xx
 
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