Oh my, give it a break!

R

Raych

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I'm nervous to publish this, but some things have really gotten to me and its unfair.

Okay after seeing a few posts aimed at specific people in a nasty manner, I really don't see the point of the forum.
Seriously guys, we're all here for the same reason, to learn and maybe make some friends, NOT patronize and ridicule others.

If anything, with people just being nasty or putting pointless posts - conversation type posts instead of answering or discussing the topic of the thread itself, its a waste of people who want to learn's time!
And could even be said to be bullying - yeah maybe a bit OTT but things can spiral very quickly.

I have asked some extremely numpty questions and have been very happy with the calm, kind and respectable replies and i am appreciative that no patronizing comments have been left for me, but for others its a different story.
I know it is only a minority of people who do remark about others nastily, but its those people who ruin it for everyone.

I really do like the forum, along with the vast majority of you. It's a BRILLIANT place for me especially to learn alot and know how to look after not only horses better, but myself.

Come on, people believe that the horsey industry is snobby and bitchy and I'm sure that stereotype wants to be broken, so stop with the horrid comments PLEASE.

That is all :D
 
Good for you, totally agree with you, its a place to learn and share knowlegde not bully people!! If some of the comments were made to certain peoples faces there would be outrage so why do people think its ok to do it online? It can still be just as hurtfull!!!! :(
 
Sorry but horsey people can and are bitchy. We all have our little otopioa dreams and most never match up and to be truthfull most of our riding or horses never match up either, that why you have many saying about numpty questions. Sorry but we are human after all and we enjoy being that.
 
Agreed!
After all aren't our horses meant to be our pleasure in life? The forum is here to ask questions, share problems and seek general advice and knowledge not only about horses, but dogs and life in general too!
I must admit, 80% of the people on here have given sound advice to everyone with no hint of sarcasm, they answer questions, have a giggle and are generally great to talk to.
K x
 
To be honest if you get a rep for asking innane queations and then not liking the answers then people do tend to just not bother answering your questions and get straight t the nasty.

You see it everywhere there seems to be a bout of it going on at the mo.:rolleyes:

People just get sick of giving advice then having it chucked back at them or people making their first post inflammatory, no this doesnt give people the right to be nasty but it doesnt help matters.

Not condoning the behaviour but it has a reason and the reason isnt just plain nastyness.

Nikki xxx
 
Yeah i am aware that some people are bitchy. Everyone has the tendancy to bitch, but seriously not to the extent of having arguments on here.
And i wasnt saying asking numpty questions was wrong, i ask them myself, we need to ask them to know or else we'd always be left in the dark :)

And okay, i admit some people have advice thrown back in their faces. but can't they be the bigger person and walk away? the person obviously isnt worth giving advice to or spending time on, so just leave it, rather than feeding the ungrateful one with an argument?
 
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tbh... i dont think it will ever stop, the forum is far to cliquee with certain people and this is why it is so easy for one peson to be singled out by said clique. the way one person questions get ignored and other get so much responce, you will get almost everyone saying 'i agree' but if everyone agreed then we wouldnt be in this situation. at the end of the day i think the message is... if you havent got anything nice or helpful to say dont say anything at all.......
 
Oh wow, am I GLAD that you wrote this post or what? I was shocked recently by just how nasty and catty some people had been on a specific post and when I commented on it, I was basically ridiculed. I'm quite new to the forum and I naively thought people would have manners. Not on that occasion, that's for sure.

It would definitely make me think twice about asking a legitimate question or voicing a concern, for fear that I'd get jumped upon too.

I have ridden/owned horses for years and years so I have a good all round knowledge, but I'm always up for learning more. I am a 40 something old mother of three and I don't care for the patronising comments made by a certain few. It spoils the atmosphere of the forum, which is a shame as it's a lovely place to "hang out" and chat about what we all love - our horses!

Thank you for voicing what has been niggling me for a couple of weeks now!

:):):)
 
I'm not demanding it to stop, i'm just voicing my opinions.
Of course it wont stop all together, the world isnt all sunshine and rainbows.
But if people read this and think "okay i'll make the effort", then I'm happy.
And yeah people do agree, because its what the majority of people want, and everything would be alot easier if it didnt occur.

I'm not trying to change the world, just get my thoughts heard (well read :p) and if it effects, defends or makes just ONE PERSON think twice about doing something, I would be the happiest person ever.
If one of the bitchy people were to read this and just stop and think the next time someone did give the insentive to throw a nasty comment, and because of this chose not to, i would be happy - Knowing i made a difference for one person on one occasion.
 
totally agree with you on your post
Personally I have found only helpful responses, and lots of banter on most,which i enjoy as it is done tongue in cheek,and is good fun to follow.
Some of the people do tend to get very nasty and its obvious its not for fun,but it is only a small number.
Get it everywhere not just on here.
 
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Thank you all who agree. Sorry i feel so strongly about this and it drives me insane to see people picked on, especially over the internet. People seem to think they have magic powers and words that don't hurt if sent via keyboard.

Whats the point in it all?
 
Well you can't be getting at me - as I have been on holiday - so not posted anything for about about a fortnight! Yes I agree re those who have conversations and are cliquey - that is what Facebook, or instant messaging is for!
There are times when there are disagreements......and sometimes a short curt reply can offend.
For instance - posts when a horse is obvioulsy taking the P of its owner - along the lines I can't lead it out to the field......someone is bound to say at some stage sock it in the teeth with a chiffiny.....well that might offend the original poster - who just wanted big hugs and sympathy from others who might also had suffered a similar fete?
I once (sometime ago - I learnt my lesson) got to some really nasty messages to a relatively provocative post I made - but I was also surprised and hearthened to get some PM's of sympathy.
Stick with it - this is a lively forum - some of the stuff is just mad - but take the rough with the smooth and don't be too sensitive.....
 
I think 99% of people are great, lots of valuable advice and comments. Its a shame that the other 1% are sometimes very rude and make some very hurtful comments.

I can understand why some people feel nervy about posting.
 
In my opinion thats awful, that people feel the need to put on a front to ask genuine questions. Everyone has feelings and they can't be ignored or put aside, especially me being my hormonal 15 year old self :).
Yes the smallest things can hurt and sometimes unintentionally, i say don't apologies for feelings because then you're apologizing for the truth - but equally if you dont have anything nice to say don't say it.
And saying something out of just plain spite? Is pointless.
 
Raych said:
In my opinion thats awful, that people feel the need to put on a front to ask genuine questions. Everyone has feelings and they can't be ignored or put aside, especially me being my hormonal 15 year old self :).
Yes the smallest things can hurt and sometimes unintentionally, i say don't apologies for feelings because then you're apologizing for the truth - but equally if you dont have anything nice to say don't say it.
And saying something out of just plain spite? Is pointless.
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Sorry Raych - you are being a bit nieve now - if people ask for help and advice, they should be prepared to occasionally get stuff back that they might not want to hear.
Like this post! I have children of your age - so recognise the hormonal thing well though - so loads of hugs on that!! lol xx
 
I will agree to people recieving some advice they dont want to hear and yeah they have to accept that (no front is needed to accept constructive criticism), but what i'm getting at is the people who just say things out of spite.
If i can ask questions without getting anything thrown at me or an argument urged, then why should others?

I know the worlds not all even and again not sunshine and rainbows, but some things like this i feel need to be treated more equally.
 
Raych said:
I will agree to people recieving some advice they dont want to hear and yeah they have to accept that (no front is needed to accept constructive criticism), but what i'm getting at is the people who just say things out of spite.
If i can ask questions without getting anything thrown at me or an argument urged, then why should others?

I know the worlds not all even and again not sunshine and rainbows, but some things like this i feel need to be treated more equally.
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If someone is being deliberately spiteful - then yes of course you are right and that is wrong, and not appropriate. Have a good w/e
 
:) The majority of people see it as you do, but I do have to say that it isn't just HHO.

It happens on every single Forum I have ever seen, just the nature of the beast it would seem:( Actually HHO is mild, I recall seeing a newcomer literally verbally ripped to shreds, I mean if it had been real life the pack would have been fighting over the bones, and that was on a much fluffier forum than this:(

Sometimes too, comments get misconstrued in print, very easy to misunderstand someone when you only have words to go by, and these smileys aren't the best for helping to convey the more subtle points.
 
I know this is going to sound like a pathetic attempt at inspirtation. But wouldn't it be nice if HHO was the forum that everyone liked? and people actually wanted to join because of its lovely members? Not worrying about joining and having to step on eggshells with every post
The reason exactly why i was nervous to post this, Why should i be nervous? and have to be nervous about it being up here? I was scared about the reaction i would get from some people and what does that say? i would look at the remarks i got and i would try take it. and if i couldnt; leave. i wouldn't wanna be a part of something that takes pride in making another person feel bad out of spite.


Sorry for being like a complete shrink or whatever, but stuff like this really does upset me :(
 
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I joined the forum with no expectations, and its been quite a learning curve!

I find posting my lesson reports really helpful, as it kinda helps me absorb what I learn by typing it out. If I ever have a bad day, I know there are plenty of people on here to give me a gentle kick up the a*se and motivate me. However, I have been genuinely shocked at some comments I have received, and how nasty they have been. Some people feel that being behind a screen gives them licence to be cruel.

When I was bricking it before my dressage test, when I was down about a bad lesson I had, the HHO-ers were there, nasty and nice. I have also received helpful tips on how to improve my riding/position/etc. I think I've developed a thick skin to some degree, but I am forever greatful for the helpful advice and constructive criticism I get when I ask for it, as I dont really know anyone 'horsey' apart from those at my RS.

For the majority, HHO is a knowledgeable, interesting place. I have met some lovely, kind, caring people, and been lucky to meet some of these people in RL. *waves at Horsehead, Cavblacks and Sol (and timefort)*

Sorry for the mini-essay! I just feel that as utterly insane and horrid HHO can be, it redeems itself in help, advice and support.

x
 
I think the problem with HHO is it combines computers with horse riders, and lets be honest I have met some of the horibbilist people through horseriding, you put a computer in front of them and its like a online massacre!

I have now come to just ignoring the nasty and thanking the nice. There are some lovely people on here aswell though. I have learnt aswell to word my posts so they cannot come across in anyway at all as nasty, one 'bad' post and it seems you have a blackmark against your name forever.

That quote from mean girls springs to mind at the moment. The one where that girl is crying and says something like "I wish we could just have abig cake of happiness and rainbows" :D
 
I have said in a previous post how grateful I was for the advice and answers I have been given on all of my numpty and incorrect questions :D. I agree the majority is a lovely place, but I cannot ignore some of the horrid comments a small amount of people do make.
Yes constructive criticism is helpful, there is no denying that at all, I actually enjoy hearing it about me. But as soon as a word is said to someone with the intent of it being snarly, I don't see the point of saying it, if it is not going to benefit either the asker or replier - other than getting a small dose of self warmth, it is not needed.

But yes, HHO has helped me a vast amount and improved my knowledge somewhat incredibly, so I thank those of you who do help us all :)
 
Haha thank you, that means alot :) I've been scared to show it previously. But I want to get my point across now, people can think what they want of me for this post and my signature, but I don't see fault in voicing my opinions and trying to make a change that is for the better xx

Oh my, I sound so shrinky lol x
 
I think part of the problem is the wide spread of age, experience, both of life and horses and ability to express emotion in the written word.
This may well be taken wrongly but having worked with adolescents, I feel it needs to be said, sometimes some of the younger posters are quite rude to older people and then get VERY upset when people respond in a less than concillatory manner. There are often disagreements on the forum, the problem starts when people either take the comments personally,or can't agree to disagree. While this does happen between the older posters, it tends to be felt more by the younger ones. I think it would be the same on a yard with people of disperate ages, although maybe the conversations would not begin in the first place, as people tend to speak to people they perceive as like themselves when they can see each other.
 
Raych said:
Haha thank you, that means alot :) I've been scared to show it previously. But I want to get my point across now, people can think what they want of me for this post and my signature, but I don't see fault in voicing my opinions and trying to make a change that is for the better xx

Oh my, I sound so shrinky lol x
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Hmm I know what you mean I've been sacred to post the odd thing, its come to the point now where I won't even ask for advice on here now as someone had a bit of a go at me the other day for posting about my horses lameness!

I think its good you can voice your opinions, and you are actually trying to make the forum a nicer place :D
 
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