oh the shame whilst out riding today! no laughing you lot!!!!!

Oh the shame!! Bad enough someone came along but for it to be someone you recognised.... oh dear.

ETA there is a certain irony to the fact your horse is called MrP.......
 
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gmw said:
I would go round village bemoaning the fact that your TWIN sister took your horse out (stating precise date and time) for a hack without your permission!!!!!
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this is a fantastic idea except if i had ever had a twin sister she would have spent every penny( hah did you get that one!) she had having major surgery so nobody could ever mistake us as i am a total dimwit whose 2 brain cells occasionally collide , i have a desperate husband who would like to either gag me or have me commited and has often pretended that he doesn't know me !
 
Thanks for brightening my day.

I always say you can tell the girls brought up around horses - they're the ones who can't be bothered to walk to the loos if there's a bush or horsebox closer! It's something I first observed in the posh girls at university. As a miner's daughter, I was scandalised :P
 
Liz H said:
Why, naked, do tell.....
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Well part of my job is as a dog hydrotherapist, for this I wear a wetsuit and I normally get changed in pool room. On this day I couldn't as we had a film crew setting up in there so I had to get changed in toilet. Was having a wee before putting my wetsuit on and must have forgotten to lock door :-(

Such a nice polite vet too, he insists he only saw my leg ;-)

All the rest of my lovely colleagues just died laughing!!
 
I hopped off mid hack for a pee in a bush, when my horse got spooked by some horses trotting down the road. She shot out of the bush with me hanging on for dear life and dragged me across the common with my knickers and jodhs round my ankles.
Another time I needed to go on a long car journey. Hopped out and went behind a bush on the roadside. Didn't realise until I'd finished that my phone had fallen out of my pocket and was in direct line of my "trajectory "!
 
I have just read these to OH, and I e actually got tears in my eyes from laughing.

I wasn't "caught out" as such, but was hacking with my friend and needed to go. She held doll while I walked off into the trees, did my business and came back. I just said in passing, do you think anyone saw me, her reply, "dressed from head to toe in bright pink? Nah, I'm sure you got away with it".
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
It was a long day, we'd hacked to the event AND ridden round the country, and friend needed to Visit the Little Girls Room....... except that there wasn't, only a little glade in a piece of woodland. Someone held her pony, she pulled down her jods and did the Deed; and with that there was a huge cheer of manly vigour all around.

We were in the middle of a bunch of red-blooded soldiers, all done up in cammaflage - poor girl, oh the shame of it.
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At least she hadnt peed ON a soldier :D
 
OMG Shady, poor you but that was hilarious! Think I may have ruptured something from laughing. Just the notion of the dog goosing you and making it impossible to compose yourself quickly…

Could you change your horse's appearance drastically? e.g. turn out without rugs for a while to grow lots of hair quickly so it is no longer sleek and you can deny it was you?!
 
Oooh nooo!! Haha!

I've had a near miss when I hopped off for a pee in the forest and was just wiggling my jods back up when a family and dog appeared. I attempted to make it look like I had been tying my shoe lace (which would have been tricky as was in long boots!) But I think I got away with it!
 
Shady said:
i can't believe i'm just about to tell you what happened to me today when i went for a nice little ride.
it's a measure of my affection for you horrible lot and my complete lack of pride in myself!!
so here goes
just me out today as OH wanted to practice being a redneck with his new gun and Mr P's hock is a bit dodgy
lovely day so thought the woods would be nice, singing a Tom Waites song today and feeling at one with nature
but' nature' has a way of calling in the cold doesn't it and when you've gotta go you've gotta go and no amount of buttock clenching is going to work past the age of 45.
Hopped of Shadow and as no one lives here( sigh) dropped my jods in the middle of the track to have a pee.
now this is a tricky thing to get right, don't want to pee on your boots or legs so had assumed the 'racing jockey' position and was perfectly balanced for maximum clearance.
for some reason i always look at the ground when i do this so of course totally missed the man walking towards me and was humming away happily and having a little ' relief ' sigh.
what i didn't know was the man was walking his dog and the damn thing came rushing up behind me and stuck his nose in a place a nose should never go.
i let out the most caveman like yell and catapulted forward into the prehistoric birthing position , jods round my knees and my arse to the sky.
call it what you will, cheeks to the wind , bum high, all i know is that my arse is whiter than the moon and you could probably see it from there .
what's even worse is that i know him, he's with the hunt and sells vegetables in the village on Thursdays , he will tell EVERYBODY, i can never go out again!
they will all say that Beaver have been sighted back near the river again!
oh ,the shame...
Happy New Year every:eek:body!
xx
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I have posted this on my facebook as it made me laugh so much! and its so brilliantly written xD Thanks for sharing, I really did laugh!!! After all there's no point having these embarrassing moments if they are left unshared!!
 
hahaha loving these! poor you OP, but at least the army didn't catch you :) How embarrasing ! I'm surprised at myself that I can't think of any times I've been caught, the bridlepaths around here must be quiet!
 
Supertrooper said:
Well part of my job is as a dog hydrotherapist, for this I wear a wetsuit and I normally get changed in pool room. On this day I couldn't as we had a film crew setting up in there so I had to get changed in toilet. Was having a wee before putting my wetsuit on and must have forgotten to lock door :-(

Such a nice polite vet too, he insists he only saw my leg ;-)

All the rest of my lovely colleagues just died laughing!!
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Don't you usually pee into those, you know to keep warm and all that!?
 
Would someone tell me the best way to get wine off an iPad, please.

😄😄😄😄😄😄

Hysterical ... Thanks for brightening my day.
 
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