oh the shame whilst out riding today! no laughing you lot!!!!!

I cannot bring myself to tell one English friend, why another English friend no longer invites her and her French husband to summer BBQ's. The reason is hostess found Frenchman peeing in her garden, unabashed he zipped up and in polite French fashion, offered the to shake hands with the 'same' hand and a polite Bonjour.
 
Rollin said:
I cannot bring myself to tell one English friend, why another English friend no longer invites her and her French husband to summer BBQ's. The reason is hostess found Frenchman peeing in her garden, unabashed he zipped up and in polite French fashion, offered the to shake hands with the 'same' hand and a polite Bonjour.
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I was in Normandy for the World Championships eventing x country and when we (eventually) arrived at the coach parking there were lines of gentlemen peeing into the surrounding woodland and they weren't making much effort to be discrete about it. We English ladies had a polite titter and averted our eyes.

Out riding once I can remember dying to go but everywere I looked there was a house overlooking. In the end I managed to scamble over a barbed wire fence next to some woodland and held the reins and hoped that a) the horse would stand still and b) no one would come along and c) I wouldn't get hooked up on the wire.
 
This thread is making me smile, Im just glad Im not the only one who often has to get off mid hack. My pony is well accustomed to being "parked" head first in a bush whilst I try to crouch discreetly behind it for a wee. He takes the opportunity to eat and is more than happy to stand still for a minute, although tbh, Im not sure how discreet 14.2 of large highland pony is, stood with his bum on the track and his head in a bush, Im sure folk can put 2 and 2 together, although I do try to check all avenues of sight before dismounting :) Ive never been caught doing the deed but occasionally I only just avoid it and try to pretend Im adjusting the saddle!
 
pennyturner said:
Thanks for brightening my day.

I always say you can tell the girls brought up around horses - they're the ones who can't be bothered to walk to the loos if there's a bush or horsebox closer! It's something I first observed in the posh girls at university. As a miner's daughter, I was scandalised :P
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Yea - much quicker to go in the stable than walk round to the outside loo.
 
Peregrine Falcon said:
**yells loudly* SHADY!!!!!!!!!!
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Gahhhh, now i'm deaf in BOTH ears :D

Ok,Ok but it's an hour ahead here so you'd better be nice while i have me snoozies, that's if i can with blummin tinnitus, fog horn PF :D

Have you ever been out for a ride and there's just something really irritating you in your jods?
I was out with my OH and i just couldn't get comfy, something was prickling my bum, i kept plucking at it, as you do, and squirming around, no , just couldn't get it, it felt like a thorn stuck in my bum cheek.
What to do eh?
There was only one thing for it, the jods would have to come down so i could have a look, then the OH had a better idea...
He would have a look
So there i was with my jods and knickers round my knees and the OH kneeling down minutely examining my left bum cheek and what do i see when i look up?
A monk and a nun staring at us in horror
I am not blessed :D
xxx
 
Shady said:
Gahhhh, now i'm deaf in BOTH ears :D

Ok,Ok but it's an hour ahead here so you'd better be nice while i have me snoozies, that's if i can with blummin tinnitus, fog horn PF :D

Have you ever been out for a ride and there's just something really irritating you in your jods?
I was out with my OH and i just couldn't get comfy, something was prickling my bum, i kept plucking at it, as you do, and squirming around, no , just couldn't get it, it felt like a thorn stuck in my bum cheek.
What to do eh?
There was only one thing for it, the jods would have to come down so i could have a look, then the OH had a better idea...
He would have a look
So there i was with my jods and knickers round my knees and the OH kneeling down minutely examining my left bum cheek and what do i see when i look up?
A monk and a nun staring at us in horror
I am not blessed :D
xxx
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And what were a monk and a nun doing strolling in the middle of nowhere together? And HOW did you not see them?

I expect they are both saying rosaries and praying for your lost soul (separately of course)
 
Oldnag and PF.... you are horrors, both of you :D

LIR have you not watched The Blues Brothers?? nuns are very sneaky!
I live between 2 villages and there is a huge convent in one of them, they obviously glide around the bridleways looking for the damned :D xxx

off to look at puppies this morning, whoo hoo:)
 
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