OK, so how do you know when it's time......

claire1976

claire1976

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....to let them go?
Amber is suffering from a neurological problem, he brain is not sending the message to her back legs properly. She is 13 years old and when she walks she looks fine at the front but drunk at the back.
Her back feet are sore and nails have worn away as she drags them when turning corners. She can't squat properly for a wee and does the splits when she does a poo.
That said - she is cheerful enough and still gets excited when the lead comes out. I have to put socks on her and bandage her feet to protect them, boots are just too cumbersome for her.
This weeks she seems to have lost the sensation that she needs a wee and either stands up and wee's as she's walking or just does it in her bed.
I always thought that when the time came I'd know what to do for certain but I just don't. Sometimes she seems tormented by it all and struggles to settle and other times I think that she seems content enough.
We've tried all medication and nothing has worked.
Am I being cruel keeping her going because I can't make my mind up? I just don't know what to do for the best.
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It's all about quality of life and you have to remember that you have really loved and looked after your dog as she would not have reached 13 otherwise. I think from what you have written, the time in my opinion, is now as there is only limited quality of life and that the cons outweigh the pros.
We had the option of amputation and chemo for our dog to buy time but we opted for euthanasia as we knew he lived to hunt and that would not do for him. Ask yourself what it is your dog lived to do and when she can't do it anymore it's time.
My heart goes out to you and massive hugs whatever you decide.
 
My heart goes out to you. This is always a horrible time for those of us with much loved pets. I think you will know when the time is right. You have known Amber all her life and she will let you know when her time has come. Also it may be worth having a word with your vet and asking his opinion. My husband had an Old English Sheepdog who was very weak on his back legs, could hardly see and was deaf but OH struggled to make that final decision. He did eventually but he found it so so hard. I think when they are losing their dignity the time is right and for Amber that time may be now.
 
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How awful a decision for you to have to make. At 13 years old Amber has had a long and happy life with you and you have to do what is best for her. Let her keep her dignity and quality of life. I know when the same happened to Windsor he couldn't cope with it as he was a very dignified, proud dog and my uncle had him PTS.

*huge hugs* to both you and Amber xx
 
It's a very hard decision to make and I do sympathise but to be blunt, at the moment you seem to be saying you love her too much to let her go when if it was someone else, you would be saying don't dither, let her go while she still has some dignity left and you have happy memories and not flash backs to when she was ill.

She sounds to have had a good and happy life. I honestly believe the time is right to let her go. You do or should know in your heart when it no longer seems right to let them continue a very different debilitating life to what they are used to.

So sorry, it's hard, very hard.
 
Thank you for all your comments. It is very hard to make that decision. I rescued Amber from an uncertain future many years ago and she was my first dog after leaving home. She hasn't been an easy dog and has taught me a lot about dog behaviour. I have a lot to thank her for and I really want what is best for her.
She loved running up the fields and whilst she tries now in reality she just can't do it. It must be very frustrating for her.
In my head I know it's time but my heart just can't let her go. I have to build up the strenth I know.
 
Hey there, i know its just such a difficult thing for you to do but remember this, You will break your heart when you have to say the actual words but if you leave it too long when you look back you might regret leaving so long and wish you had let her go sooner. If you know what i mean. Its such a hard decision i know but because you love her so much you will do whats right, It does sound tho that its time. Be strong. x
 
I agree with the others, it is so hard to make that decision but from what you have posted then I think the time has come to let her go. You owe her that much, however hard it will be for her, in return for all she has given to you over the years.

Please remember what I said when I had my greyhound PTS on 7th April - the tears and upset you feel are just for yourself, your dog will just be happy that she is not suffering any more and will be somewhere in a better place. Far, far better that than lettting her drag on an unhappy existance, even if she does still enjoy aspects of her life.

Sorry if this seems really harsh, but I do think we owe it to our dogs to let them go with dignity
 
My Indies back legs flail about like a windmill when she runs and she falls all over the place but as long as she picks herself back up and keeps getting excited by walks, bunnies and chasing the other dogs in the garden I know she's happy. Once I get the sense that she's struggling I will let her go while she still has happy memories of life.
 
It sounds to me as if Amber is suffering from CDRM, or DM as it is now known. It is very common in GSDs and I have had to have a few dogs pts with it. It is the most distressing condition, because as you say the dog is bright and alert, just has no power in the hindlegs. The only blessing is that the condition does not seem to cause physical pain, although once they start making their paws sore I think it is perhaps a different matter. I'm afraid it sounds to me as if your girl should really be pts now, if you think she has some times when she seems tormented I think you probably know this. Imo when dogs become incontinent it can really cause them distress. My heart goes out to you, it is such a terrible decision to have to make. Just remember the saying, better a week too soon than a day too late. ((hugs))
 
Horrible decision for anyone having to make this one.
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I tend to err on the side of having them put to sleep earlier, in preference to later, but everyone makes up their own mind as to when is right for them and their dog. I'm no help to you, but I'm sending you my best wishes.

Tia x
 
Oh my...poor girl.
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My inlaws had to have their dog of 14 yrs PTS yesturday morning. Your girl is showing the very same symptoms as poor old Max.
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They tried keeping him on pain relief but the time came when they knew they had to be cruel to be kind.

I'm sorry but it may be time to let go of your girl.
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xx
 
you poor thing, I had exactly the same dilema 5 years ago, I had a dalmatian that I had as my best friend from 11 years old, she had a very strong heart but her back legs were exactly the same, she would sometimes topple over when she was trying to go to the toilet and to top it all off she developed collitis (sp) so in the end she would poo in her bed uncontrolled. She was pts at 14 and a half years old and tbh she could and should have been pts at least 6 months before she was but we just couldn't make the decision. To this day I feel total guilt and regret that I made her stay for me and her ashes are on my bedside table. I miss her every day and although I have a labrador now who cannot take her place I love her to bits and I know that this time, I wont hold on. Really tough decision for you but I think you really know what to do otherwise you wouldn't have posted. Good luck and make sure that you give her everything and spend as much time with her xx
 
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Am I being cruel keeping her going because I can't make my mind up?

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Yep - she'd have been up the vets to be pts on Monday this week if she were mine.
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Well my OH took Amber for a walk yesterday and she seemed quite bright, trying to run etc. He said she struggled a bit on the way home though.
However, this morning she couldn't seem to squat at all to wee and for the first time I looked at her and thought she was in pain. For this reason we are going back to the vets tonight for a final opinion. If they say it's time then I'll let her go. I doubt tbh that they'll say otherwise.
 
Sending you hugs, Please bear in mind that vets sometimes feel they have to leave it to the owner to make that final decision. I think you know what you have to do, and you owe it to Amber.
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My thoughts are with you...and i feel for you and your lovely dog...i know how your feeling..well almost ..When my Peggy had a accident last august and was paralysed in her both hind legs i thought the worst but had to give th her possible chance i can give her..she has had spinal cord damage which will never recover..she went to 3 vets including having a MRI scan and even today im amazed as how much she has recovered but still disabled, she was walking in a sling for several weeks...she also inconintent and runs at an angle and buckles when standing for too long but all i wanted was for her to have a quality life which i believe she is..she not in pain but i do give her seraquin and glucosmine tablets..i diddnt want her in wheels
How hard the decision will be youve gotta think about your dogs quality of life and if there nothing else to be done im sure its best to let her go...im so sorry for you
 
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