OK where do I start....

[_OC_]

......I have not ridden my cob for over a year!

I consider my self a good rider,and for me this is very tough to 'put into words' on the forum!

He is a lovely horse,just lacks confidence at times,along with me!

I want to get on board and now wonder where I should start,he has in the past got wound up with lunging,but appears to have contained condition and muscle over the winter months.....I need to restart slow,I have a couple of instructors numbers,and will contact them.......so is it worth going out in hand to start?
I need to do something or he will need to be sold,as he is perfect on the ground and a forward going ride when out........alot of this is 'what is going on in my head',and for me frustrating as I used to hunt,show and hack for miles....and now just the thought of dusting of his saddle feels me with dread.....I have had offers to ride others and it still feels me with dread!
Any real helpful advice from people that 'have been where I am at the mo' would really help!
Cheers _OC_x

 

[BFG]

I would get someone else on board then you can see what he is going to do. Once you have seen the worst he has to offer I am sure you will feel better, we are always more scared of the unknown than the known.

I am sure you will be fine and i think we all feel a little wary when we haven’t ridden for a while whatever the reason.

 

[Rana]

No real help, just wanted to sympathise. I had a nasty fall 4 years ago, and despite getting back on at the time, haven't ridden since. Then I put on too much weight lol, and couldn't ride anything. Now I'm losing the weight and just about ready to get back in the saddle - I'm dreading it. My plan is to go to a reputable riding school and get my balance back on some health + safety approved cobs, and then hopefully look for a share horse later this year.

Lessons with an instructor seems like a good way forward

x

 

[sugarnspice]

I have been where you are, I'm not sure why you're in your situation. For me it was a fall that just shattered my confidence.
For me, I wanted to ride again- which I think is important. So really, it was just a case of getting on and getting on with it. Step at a time and when you feel comfortable. I remember having a lesson once where I just walked around and around the arena because that's all I felt happy doing. Find your comfort zone and slowly build it up.
I also used to rate my nerves about doing something on a scale of 1-10. If a number really went over a 6 or 7, I wouldn't do it. So I would just think to myself "Getting on is at the very bottom end of the scale. I'm going to do it". But obviously, if someone said 'Go canter now' I would have burst into tears and refused!! It's just a case of doing it at your own pace.
Good luck- I know how horrible it can be, being nervous to get on a horse (be it your own or not).

 

[RhiannonE]

Hiya,
I been in a similar situation which unfortuantely ended up in me selling my horse in the end but when I tried out new horses I had the same problem and was a nervous wreck even on the slowest plod!
What did really help me was to get an experienced rider or instructor to ride my horse in the menage and out hacking. I could then see that he didn't react or when he did I saw how they coped with it. I had lessons on my horse so that I could get back a bit of a bond when riding in a contained environment and then after that I went out with my experienced friend on his horse and me on mine and then he gave me step by step instructions how to sit, breathe, etc etc whilst we were hacking along. This made some major improvements to how we went along but I think I left it too late to do all that and my fear was just too much in the end, i kept falling off because I freaked out my poor horse so much and I had to make the tough decision to let him go.

A friend of mine suggested doing some natural horsemanship style things with him as that would build up a better bond and i would learn to trust him again, unfortunately I didn't try it but it might be worth ago as some of the things the NH people can do with their horses is amazing.

 

[Shilasdair]

There are two aspects to your post - the cob, and you.
Firstly, I would start by taking your cob in-hand walks - remind him of walk, trot, halt commands. Start with a few mins, and build up, and add tack/shoes/saddle as you do so.
Then start long reining him, and lunging him, gradually reback him, and go out hacking with a companion if you can.
But, whilst you are doing the in-hand work, book yourself in for lessons at a good riding school - explain your situation. Tell them you are scared, and ask for a private lesson, or even better, a lunge lesson.
I used to teach riding, so I can tell you that around half the customers are scared; you are not alone

.
Once you are back into the swing of things on a schoolmaster, and you have developed a working relationship with your cob, you will find it easier to get on him again.
Don't listen to anyone who pushes you past your comfort point - and you'll have brave and cowardly days, as we all do.
Good luck.
S

 

[Shazzababs]

To carry on from Shilasdair, maybe once you are confident on the schoolmaster you can take your cob to the riding school for your lesson and have it on him instead, even if he is not very fit and you mostly walk, everything builds confidence.

Good luck, we all know what its like to be scared. When I was a teenager, nothing fazed me, but my current horse is a real bucker, and I just freeze up on him sometimes, even though I know he rarely misbehaves enough to get me off!

Persevere, and don't give up. Remeber to celebrate your successes, however small they may seam to other people, they are important if they matter to you.

 

[MyBoyChe]

I had similar issues to you at the end of last year. I have had an 8 year break, finances just did not allow for a horse, and bought my boy last July. Initially everything went well and then we had a few hitches, nothing major but just enough to damage my confidence. The lady who sold Che to me was wonderful, she came and rode him for me so that I could see that what he was actually doing was nowhere near as awful as it felt from on board, she then walked out with me on foot even clipping a lead rope on at times when she thought I looked shaky. Through the winter I have stuck to tried and tested hacking routes, gradually building up our confidence and am just about to start flatwork lessons with Emma. So I tend to agree with what others have said, getting someone you trust to help you, by doing whatever it takes to gradually get you going again is the way forward and each small milestone will give you a confidence boost. Sorry, I have no idea of your age but with me it is definitely a case of getting older and feeling more vulnerable that makes me nervous. Good luck with him

 

[GinaGem]

I've been in a similar situation to you recently and i came to the decision to sell my horse and buy something that could help my conifdence. I have to say it was the best decsion i could have made and i'm glad i listened to myself and not some others who wanted me to carry on trying!

My old horse is now in a fab home doing affliated dressage and i'm out having fun again!

Have you not ridden for a year because of the horse or because you haven't been able to?

I wonder if it is a good combination that both of you lack confidence?

My confidence was all in my head too and my last horse wasn't nasty at all i just couldn't seem to be confident on him. I've now bought Prince who although he's a youngster he's the most level headed horse i have met and because he's conifdent it's making me confident.

I've taken everything with him one step at a time but i'm already having so much fun again. It's silly but yesterday i was so pleased with myself as i got on on the yard rather than in the school (hurt myself badly falling off on the yard once!). In 8 weeks since i've had my boy i've done more than i ever did with my last horse and instead of been in tears all the time i'm smiling all the time.

I still have wobbly moments but i get over them so quick when i realise my horse is so sensible!!

I know it goes against what everyone else is saying but i've just realised that there is no point spending time worrying about riding if there is a horse out there that can make you confident again.

 

[Scribbles]

QR


Could you afford to see a sports psychologist?

 

[1275gta]

I too have had similar issues that resulted in me selling the horse I lost my confidence on, he is now in a lovely home and is having great fun.

I bought a smaller cob who was younger than I really wanted but is a saint. My biggest fear was riding in open spaces, when I tried my new boy I was a nervous wreck and got his owner and a friend to walk out with me when I tried him, I first had to ride across a field to get to the road and I nearly got off and ran away.

6 months down the line and I still have the odd moment, lessons have helped and so has hacking out to start with some one walked with me then came out on a bike and then on a horse and now I hack ut by my self with no problem. I still have to push myself to do some things which in my head could go wrong but I find by riding every day I'm fine.

We have had a few set backs on the way with him playing up at things he things he can get away with, but I've learnt by pushing him foward and making him do as he's told my confidence grows.

Keep at it, try going and talking your fears through with a councellor, I saw a hypnotheripist, it does help and as others have said get some help rebacking your horse and take some lessons on somthing sane and quiet at a riding school to get your confidence back.

Don't be afraid to sell your horse if that is really the route of your problem, not everyone gets on with every horse they have.

Good luck

 

[MrsMozart]

Everyone has said everything, just wanted to send you a hug or two.

Most people have been there with horses at some point in their lives. Hang on in there hunny.

A hot chocolate with sprinkles, marshmallows and a chocolate flake