Okay, here is my sponsorship letter, how does it sound?

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Shrek-Eventing-SW

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How does it sound? What else can I add?

Dear Sir/Madame,

I am writing to you to ask if you would be interested in sponsoring a young event rider with a real drive to succeed .


My name is Emma Powne, I am 16 years old, and have been riding since I was 5. I have been interested in my chosen sport of eventing for many years. I have always wanted to ride at the top 4* events such as Badminton and Burghley. My mother came from an equine background, growing up on a riding school in Wells, Somerset. She is always on hand to help out and has years of experience to guide me.


I currently own two horses. Shrek, a 14.2hh gelding currently competing at BE100 level and hoping to upgrade to Novice this year. I also own Fleur Des Pres, a 16.1hh ex racehorse which I am currently retraining to event.



I have reached the highest level at unaffiliated Eventing and I am finding it frustrating that I cannot continue to progress due to lack of funds to support the Expensive BE (British Eventing) registration and entries. Along with that, the costs of keeping a horse and providing it with suitable equipment and feed is quite a struggle. Although I am in the year of my G.C.S.E's, I feel that I am committed enough to pursue both of these successfully and as they end in June, I will have a few extra months in order to concentrate on my eventing. I am currently working as a baby sitter in my spare time to help fund my eventing.



My previous competition successes include:


Winning the Moreton Winter Show jumping series and qualifying for the Cricklands Championships of Great Britain.

Competing in the open class at Stockland Lovell Two Day Event against riders a lot older than myself on bigger horses.

Representing the Cattistock Pony Club in there Eventing and Show jumping teams.

Recently qualifying for the Dengie Pony Club Winter Show Jumping Finals and taking first place in the open class against horses competing at BSJA (British Show Jumping Association).



I attend shows and events nearly every weekend in all seasons, so I am always out and about. As I am also a member of the Pony Club, I receive top quality training and the chance to train over the top courses such as Aldon, Stockland Lovell and Bricky.



I would be incredibly grateful for any support that you could offer me, I can offer lots of advertising for you and your company at a minimal cost. I would be incredibly grateful of any amount of financial support in this economic climate. If you choose to support me, I will promote your business to its maximum potential at every chance I have and at every event I attend. I can also promote your company at events whether attending as a competitor or as a spectator.

Advertising of my sponsors can be available using the following :

- Saddle cloths
- Clothing
- Rugs
- Social networking sites
- For product based sponsorship, I can provide reviews and pictures of the products in action.



If you would like me to display your logo etc. Then you will need to join BE as a member, to allow this. However, this should not put you off as it is a small cost to a large benefit.



I have attached some images of my horse and I competing at Events around the County.



Thank you very much
 
Thank you very much
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Thought I had scanned it, must have missed that mistake!
 
no -e on the end of "Madam".
i'd avoid the repetition of the "incredibly grateful' part in the paragraph 3rd from the bottom.
i would remove the word "Expensive" before BE, would just put "Affiliated".
i'd put that your mum comes from a "horsey" background rather than "equine"! i'd substitute "at" for "on" in that sentence.
penultimate paragraph: "would" not "will", and state how much it would cost. "for" not "to" a large benefit.
i'd give some idea of how much entries are, how much contributions for travel costs would be, etc. a guideline figure would be helpful, i think...
very best of luck!
 
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to you to ask if you would be interested in sponsoring a young event rider with a real drive to succeed .


My name is Emma Powne, I am 16 years old, and have been riding since I was 5. I have been interested in my chosen sport of eventing for many years. I have always wanted to ride at the top 4* events such as Badminton and Burghley. My mother came from a horsey background, growing up at a riding school in Wells, Somerset. She is always on hand to help out and has years of experience to guide me.


I currently own two horses. Shrek, a 14.2hh gelding currently competing at BE100 level and hoping to upgrade to Novice this year. I also own Fleur Des Pres, a 16.1hh ex racehorse which I am currently retraining to event.



I have reached the highest level at unaffiliated Eventing and I am finding it frustrating that I cannot continue to progress due to lack of funds to support the Affiliated BE (British Eventing) registration and entries. Along with that, the costs of keeping a horse and providing it with suitable equipment and feed is quite a struggle. Although I am in the year of my G.C.S.E's, I feel that I am committed enough to pursue both of these successfully and as they end in June, I will have a few extra months in order to concentrate on my eventing. I am currently working as a baby sitter in my spare time to help fund my eventing.



My previous competition successes include:


Winning the Moreton Winter Show jumping series and qualifying for the Cricklands Championships of Great Britain.

Competing in the open class at Stockland Lovell Two Day Event against riders a lot older than myself on bigger horses.

Representing the Cattistock Pony Club in their Eventing and Show jumping teams.

Recently qualifying for the Dengie Pony Club Winter Show Jumping Finals and taking first place in the open class against horses competing at BSJA (British Show Jumping Association).



I attend shows and events nearly every weekend in all seasons, so I am always out and about. As I am also a member of the Pony Club, I receive top quality training and the chance to train over the top courses such as Aldon, Stockland Lovell and Bricky.



I will be grateful for any support that you could offer me, I can offer lots of advertising for you and your company at a minimal cost. I would be incredibly appreciative of any amount of financial support in this economic climate. If you choose to support me, I will promote your business to its maximum potential at every chance I have and at every event I attend. I can also promote your company at events whether attending as a competitor or as a spectator. Registration fees for BE are: £125 initial joining fee, £90 horse membership fee. £60 - £70 for each competition entered. Also travelling fee's need to be taken into consideration and care of the horses.

Advertising of my sponsors can be available using the following :

- Saddle cloths
- Clothing
- Rugs
- Social networking sites
- For product based sponsorship, I can provide reviews and pictures of the products in action.



If you would like me to display your logo etc. Then you will need to join BE as a member, to allow this. However, this should not put you off as it is a small cost for a large benefit.



I have attached some images of my horse and I competing at Events around the County.



Thank you very much
 
Instead of saying BE (British eventing) it should be British Eventing (BE). The rest of the mistakes I noticed have alreasy been picked up. Reads quite well though
 
[ QUOTE ]

I have reached the highest level at unaffiliated Eventing and I am finding it frustrating that I cannot continue to progress due to lack of funds to support the Expensive BE (British Eventing) registration and entries.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wouldnt put in the word Expensive, as you are pointing out it is expensive and further down in the letter you are saying for minimal expense, so just keep it at minimal expense. And I wouldnt use - along with that, the cost... I think that paragraph would read better like this at the beginning:

I have been extremely sucessful competing at unaffiliated eventing and show jumping, my proven record is logged below, and I am now ready to move on to compete at British Eventing level. I am initially looking for sponsorship to cover my registration and entry fees.

**then you can carry on with this bit. *** As you can imagine, the costs of keeping a horse and providing it with suitable equipment and feed is quite a struggle.

Hope this helps, and good luck to you in your quest for sponsorship and also your events. x
 
Hi, personally I wouldn't ask for sponsorship in opening sentence. I'd introduce myself, let them know my acheivements and then say I'm looking for sponsorship. I would then advise the benefits they can expect from sponsorship and the costs involved.

Might be worth letting them know how much you are looking for in total and putting different sponsorship packages together? I say that because it may be easier to get a number of smaller sponsorship deals than one large one.

I'd also try to aim the letter at someone 'specific' rather than Dear Sir or Madam otherwise your letter may not get to the decision maker.

Another thought is to write to your local newspaper or equestrian magazine asking if they would run an article on you and your horses in the hope of finding sponsors.

Nothing wrong with content of your letter just another way of looking at things.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.
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Cuppa and biscuit if you got this far
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I think its too generic. I's suggest you need to talk about the company you are asking for help from and how specifically you can help them.
 
I would address each letter personally- to whoever it needs to be rather thsn the more general sir/madam. Otherwise, it looks good. Good luck!
 
I think you find a better reception from Companies if the information was more targeted towards their particular Company and what you can do for them, which is basically giving the Company name the greatest exposure possible.
Also maybe consider putting the information in a file with lots of photos.
The more opportunities you can show the Company for their benefit, the more likely they are to help.
Mayne go for products first, to warm up, then go for cash afterwards.
This logic worked for me several years ago, when I obtained sufficent sponsorship to compete in a World Championship series.
 
Overall i think youve done a good job. My thoughts-

I would change the lots of advertising for minimal cost bit to something like 'I can provide your company with cost-effective advertising, with a high amount of company exposure for relatively low cost'.

It should be comparative because everyones idea of minimal is different and they may not agree that asking for £125 membership is minimal as that may buy them a lot of marketing or advertising some other way.

I would also think outside the box and see what else you can offer other than just advertising on clothes/rugs/etc. If someone is going to give you money they want to know that you are better than anyone else in terms of value. if what you have offered is all you can do then i will be honest and say that you will be competing against alot of other people and that may not be enough.

Good luck!
 
I'd give some details about the area you travel, how many events you'll do and how many people attend events to indicate the market they can reach through sponsoring you. eg. A website or blog is also a good idea.
 
I would also be careful with assuming that the reader knows what eventing is. It may be beneficial to explain what is involved, and what kind of audience their sponsorship would be targeting. Numbers/figures/stats would be helpful - would give it a more business like feel to it. And perhaps what kind of geographical coverage would the sponsorship get as well.

And still with my business head on (sorry!), the bit about being in your GCSE year would put me off as a sponsor.
 
Think about what the company wants, not what you want. After all, they will want a return on their investment. There is a lot about you in the letter but very little about what the sponsor will actually get for their money. Many companies don't know about eventing, so you should outline what sort of exposure they can expect, where, when, how often, who's there and so on. What are your plans for the year - 3 events or 30? Also an outline of the typical costs of an event season (entries, membership, travel etc) just so they know what portion of your costs they are in for (and therefore how much you are putting into this).

I would also outline, or maybe provide links to websites that outline what, exactly, eventing is. You write using language that is familiar to you but to many will mean nothing (eg "eventing", "event", "4*", "BE100", "novice", "14.2hh" and so on). Think about the audience and write to attract them. Maybe run it past a friend or family member that isn't at all horsey and see what they make of it.
 
[ QUOTE ]


I have attached some images of my horse and I competing at Events around the County.


[/ QUOTE ]

Beyond typos caught by others, this last sentence should read:

I have attached some images of my horse and me [...] around the County.

What sorts of companies are you approaching?
 
Look on the each company website and try to find the name of their Marketing Manager/Director, or the Managing Director, and then address the letter and the envelope to them.

Personalised letters are much more likely to get to their chosen person than if just addressed to 'The Manager', or even 'The Marketing Manager' .

Also, you can see what each company's ethos/business is and try to tailor your request letter to match.

100 letters is a quite a lot if you're going to do this, so maybe you could pick out the 20 companies you think are most likely to benefit from sponsoring you, and start with them first?

Good luck
 
i did a actuall "sponsorship" information pack, this included everything from "what is showjumping" (a lot of companies do not even know what a horse is let alone what the sport entails!) i also included information about the big sponsors, ie rolex ect this allowed them to know that there are big profile companies interested in the sport, also the normal stuff about myself and my wins and my horses.
i did not include pics at this point.
i also put a covering letter with the pack.
you have to bear in mind that non horsey companies do not have a clue about most things you are talking about.
i started small, not asking for much and ended up getting sponsors for my livery (they pay £100 a month) and also sponsors for my entry fees. ok im not getting the companies to buy me a brand new lorry, but that may come in time.
i felt the information pack worked well as it explained the sport and made them realise there were lots of benefits.
on my first meeting with my livery sponsor, he admitted he never knew how high profile the sport was, and he learnt this from my info pack.
your letter is very well put together but I personally would not email this, it needs to be posted. I only targeted local companies also, and none of the big national companies, as i found they will not sponsor a "unknown".
its very very hard to get sponsorship so be prepared for the knock backs and remember not to take them personally. we are in a credit crunch and companies are finding it hard finacially too.
if you need any help just PM me.
good luck with your quest.
 
It's really good, if I were a sponsor, I'd be convinced
smile.gif


As others have mentioned, I would tailor the letter to suit the company your approaching, that way you could explain how their company would benefit particularly.

But other than that, its impressive!
 
As someone who has previously been in a position to choose whether to help people who approached the company I was working for for help, I stayed out of this thread initially but would now add the following:

1) Your letter is a good first attempt so well done, but it does need some refinement.

2) You have been given some excellent advice on this thread so do take it all on board as, if you do, it will transform your chances of success.

3) Your main tasks should be a) Personalising your approach, as you have been told. This is fundamental - I can assure you that any "Dear Sir/Madam" approaches to me went straight in the bin! b) Prioritising your approaches - it will all become a lot more work if you personalise each approach, so you must prioritise, again as someone has said. Going for local companies or ones that you have some connection with is an excellent idea. c) Re-jig your letter slightly to emphasise more what you can offer the sponsor, and less why you need sponsorship. You may be a very deserving cause but they are not a charity, you MUST emphasise what's in it for them. Don't restrict this to advertising, think about what else you can offer - opportunties for them to entertain clients etc. It's a question of re-ordering the letter, and putting a bit more in some sections and taking a bit out of others. I actually agree with the person who said that putting together a little pack, with a personal covering letter, would be ideal. Even then, if it were me, I would be personalising the pack itself, with different versions for equestrian and non-equestrian companies, for instance.

Very good luck - I admire your determination
smile.gif
 
Lots of good advice from people who know far more about it than I do. I think you've made a very good and enthusiastic start.

I would emphasise again though, that having a sponsor is like having a job - it's work for money, not a gift! You have to look at the time and effort you spend getting and keeping sponsors as an investment in your riding career. Also, as some people have said, the "obvious" things you can offer, like putting an ad on the side of your lorry, put you firmly in the realm of a business. Be careful that you can deliver what you promise with no inconvenience to yourself or the company involved.
 
would you please have the decency to write you're own letter and not copy and paste whole paragraphs from other peoples websites.
Have PM'd you.

ETA: Thank you for being so appologetic and understanding lovely.
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In future just ask if you want some help
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Ignore all this, just noticed that this thread goes back nearly two years!! Wonder why it's come up again now?


QR - haven't read the replies. I'm told I'm old fashioned on this note and it's more acceptable these days I personally detest letters that start "I am writing" as my old English teacher would say its obvious you are writing, it's a letter!

I'd start your letter "My name is Emma Powne, I am 16 years old and I would like to offer you the opportunity to sponsor a young event rider with a real drive to succeed." or something similar and notwithstanding comments made about the opening and other changes.


Good luck!
 
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