Old horse winter vet check

[poiuytrewq]

Some may know about my old boy, basically he’s 20, has had soundless issues on and off for many years. I got him at 12 when it had already ended his career. He has been managed then the past 3 years fully retired.
He has arthritis, laminitis, vasculitis-not obviously all the time (bar the arthritis) but he gets bouts of all.
I had decided to pts if he got bad again but when the time came everyone advised against it and I admit I felt bad so didn’t.
My OH says I want him pts for an easy winter, this couldn’t be further from the truth. It really got to me because it’s not an easy straight cut decision, he’s not obviously suffering and he got through that particular episode.
OH said “see you’d have killed him but now he’s fine”
He’s right, but I’m so scared one day he won’t be fine. I need a bit of back up and support though not someone accusing me of being a murderer.
He’s currently shod with pads as this makes a unbelievable difference to him and has a bute every morning so he’s ok. We did however have a little difficulty shoeing for the first time recently as he was reluctant to stand on one front leg. This has never happened before.
I’m thinking of getting a vet out, to give a completely honest opinion so I can either put my mind as rest in that he’s doing ok and it’s fine to keep going or reassure me that I’m right and maybe OH will then see sense?
Plan? Do I take him off the bute for a few days prior? So they see a truer picture or will they be able to see past and account for the painkillers?

 

[SOS]

Better a month too soon than a day too late. Vet will advise on whether to stop pain relief etc. before examining.

However your OHs comments are very unfair and I can see why they are influencing you. You say the horse has episodes of being more unwell and potentially quite painful, is it worth it for him to go through that for a few extra months of life? The horse doesn’t know that it’s for the greater good, just that he is in pain. Maybe phrase it to your OH like that?

Euthanasia is very rarely a clear cut or easy decision but also very rarely a wrong one.

 

[lauracwd2]

I think getting the vet out would be a good idea and allow you to have an unbiased opinion on everything that is going on. I did similar with my old pony when I felt that the time was coming to make a decision, the vet came out and we had a good discussion about options and logistics and she told me that they would be supportive of my decision whenever I felt it was time. It was a huge weight off my mind to be honest and meant a few months later when I felt the time had come I didn't need to have a long discussion with the vet, she already knew what my plan was and it just made the logistics much easier.
I would ring and have a chat with your vet over the phone and find out if they want him off the bute before the visit or not. I'd also be telling your OH that is he is being very unsupportive and he either needs to shut and say nothing or start giving you some emotional back up.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Your OH is being a t1t. Have you seen the other thread about folk keeping creaky horses on too long? Struggling with a farrier visit is huge red flag.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Your OH is being a t1t. Have you seen the other thread about folk keeping creaky horses on too long? Struggling with a farrier visit is huge red flag.

In a nutshell!

 

[rara007]

Do you have a regular vet practice? You could even just ask for a call initially and take it from there.

 

[be positive]

I would not get a vet out unless the vet knew you and the horse well and would give an honest opinion, most will sit on the fence in this type of situation and you will have a bill to pay with no more idea than you had before.
Your OH is being ridiculous and totally unreasonable, I don't think he should be against you having him pts even if it was in part so you could have an easier time, we put so much into these animals sometimes we need to look after ourselves a little more, whatever you do will be for the right reasons and you should be supported.

 

[Hollychops]

You have to make the decision based on the impact on your boy and not on how easy it would be for you over winter. If that sounds harsh its not meant to. I have sort of been in your position and had to make a choice between letting what looked to be a happily retired, adored horse go whilst she wasnt in pain, or keep her going through winter knowing that she would have bouts of discomfort, stress when left without her bestie, and not having to luxury of being allowed a damn good blast round the field if she felt like it.

It was hard, but not as hard as seeing her suffering long term, even if only with minute discomfort, or suddenly going down hill and losing her in extreme pain (she had a neurological condition that meant she was wobbly behind and wasnt allowed turnout in anything that allowed her to get up some speed or do anything daft. Similar to ataxia but not confirmed due to the danger of transporting her 2 hours to Oakham to have it confirmed). You will know what is the right thing to do for your boy, no one else knows him like you do.

As for your OH, his comments only add to your stress and guilt and are not helpful in the least. I am hoping he said them in an attempt to maybe bring some reality into things or lighten your feelings. I hope so.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

Does you OH have much to do with the horses? He certainly doesn't sound horsey. I think I wouldn't discuss it with him until the decision is made/the deed is done. I think you work with horses? Could you ask someone at work whom you trust to give a realistic opinion. I am in the 'better a week too sooon then a day to late' camp but only someone who can see the horse can really give an informed opinion.

 

[MiJodsR2BlinkinTite]

Someone has said "better a month too soon than a month too late".

VERY very true.

I had the vet yesterday morning, he PTS my two oldies, both at the same time.

It simply would not have been fair to put either of them through another winter; and they were so pair-bonded that one would have grieved without the other. So an easy decision.

Myself and the previous owner of the mare, and her daughter, were all here not only to support each other but to make it as pleasant and ambient a time as possible for these two lovely horses.

We all knew this was coming, the "decision" would have to be made; and I really feel for OP because it isn't easy, but the thing I would say is that a dividing line between "sentiment" and "compassion" has to be drawn - oh so often being "sentimental" over an animal can mean that "compassion" is sidelined.

OP this needs to be YOUR decision and yours alone. If you do "get the vet out", then bear in mind that he/she cannot make the decision for you, they can only advise.

I was lucky in that I have a truly wonderful vet who looks at all the factors and gives an honest, unbiased, and compassionate opinion.

But if you know in your heart of heart that "the time" has come............ and I suspect you do.... then you know there is only one course of action.

 

[scrapster]

I have 2 both retired from riding. One is 8 and one is 12 (retired at 9). I have had a very frank chat with my amazing vet, both could under BEVA guidelines be pts, but are both happy and field sound. They have multiple issues and I wouldn’t put them through anything else, they have 3 monthly vet checks (2 in winter) and the vet promises to advise when he agrees the time is right. It works for me. Good luck in whatever you decide xx

 

[poiuytrewq]

Part of my problem is I don’t know, I really don’t know if it’s time.
OH is non horsey your right, but he absolutely adores this horse and has done so since the day I brought him home from work with me one day. I even tried texting him 😳 I know that sounds rediculous but I thought if I could explain my POV without inturuption or him just refusing point blank to listen he might understand.
His reply was that the horse doesn’t understand the option and would rather be alive and stiff than dead.
I once took my dog to the vet, his back end went whilst I was at work and I came home to find him half paralysed. OH, even then didn’t want to pts!!!
I know the vets pretty well if I book one of the older long term ones.
Obviously I want to keep him forever but I’m under no illusions.
I will talk to one and explain all this.

 

[paddi22]

Your OH doesn't have enough knowledge to be listening to his view on this. He is only taking an emotional view, which isn't fair on the horse. Its your horse, you don't need to justify it to anyone. What about if vert came and OH was there and he could explain it to him.

 

[Goldenstar]

Struggling with the farrier is a real indicator of a horse was moving to another stage .
To be blunt your OH sounds a bit naive and perhaps has never experienced what happens when you have to deal with all this end of life stuff in an emergency situation .
Getting the vet is a great idea but pick your vet well you want a sensible experianced horse vet
Best wishes as you deal with this .

 

[Pearlsasinger]

His reply was that the horse doesn’t understand the option and would rather be alive and stiff than dead.
.

Your OH just doesn't understand horses, does he? Prey animals really suffer if they can't move freely and keep up with the herd, they live in fear of a hungry wolf/lion/tiger (depending on where their ancestors came from) coming along - death by predator is very unpleasant, even though it is natural. AS you know, OP, the kindest thing a horse owner can do is to make sure that the horse doesn't have to be pts in an emergency, e.g. stuck in the field, unable to get up. You probably do need your vet to explain to OH, he is probably more likely to listen to the professional.

 

[splashgirl45]

so sorry for you in this situation. i took the whole summer to decide to PTS my cushings mare, i worried about her all of the time and spent lots of time watching her in the field to see what her quality of life was. i was almost sure it was the right thing to do, but for my peace of mind i got the vet out so i could make absolutely sure there wasnt any other treatment i could try. the vet agreed with me that it was right to let her go before the winter so she was PTS september 2016....it is still hard to talk about it but i know i was right. perhaps show your OH some of these posts so he realises we dont do this sort of thing without a lot of thought and upset...and we only think of the welfare of our horses....

 

[poiuytrewq]

He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of pretending to read any of these replies.
I will ring the vets I think, I mean hopefully they will reassure me I’m wrong and he’s ok. That would be perfect. At the moment every morning I’m worried as to a- is he standing and b-does he come for food c- is he sound. Im scared as I walk down to him... so yes, maybe it will make my life easier, it will also break my heart and knowing my partner hates and blames me for it will be unbearable

 

[Pearlsasinger]

He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of pretending to read any of these replies.
I will ring the vets I think, I mean hopefully they will reassure me I’m wrong and he’s ok. That would be perfect. At the moment every morning I’m worried as to a- is he standing and b-does he come for food c- is he sound. Im scared as I walk down to him... so yes, maybe it will make my life easier, it will also break my heart and knowing my partner hates and blames me for it will be unbearable

This is why you need the vet's opinion and why you need your OH to be present when the vet is. Does your OH really think that horses just die peacefully in their sleep, as a matter of course?

 

[texas]

He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of pretending to read any of these replies.
I will ring the vets I think, I mean hopefully they will reassure me I’m wrong and he’s ok. That would be perfect. At the moment every morning I’m worried as to a- is he standing and b-does he come for food c- is he sound. Im scared as I walk down to him... so yes, maybe it will make my life easier, it will also break my heart and knowing my partner hates and blames me for it will be unbearable

Yes it would make your life easier, but if he is in bad enough health that these things are a genuine concern on a daily basis, then it's not about making your life easier, it's about his quality of life. Don't let anyone guilt trip you.

 

[Polos Mum]

I think you OH needs to hear it from the vet directly not just via you. Perhaps a few examples from the vet of horses that have gone down in the field overnight and struggled for hours on their own before being found and dealt with would help him understand why "Better a MONTH too soon than a DAY too late" is absolutely right.
The guilt he will feel if your poor horse has to wait hours in an emergency for a vet to do something that can be planned, calm and peaceful and with dignity.

Lucky for your OH that he's never seen a person or an animal at the very end to understand what the suffering can be. I had a human friend with cancer and I'd have PTS here if I'd have been allowed to it was terrible in the last week.

Horses are prey animals an hide things, then all of a sudden they can't hide it any more and give up - it's really not good.

 

[Polos Mum]

This is my oldie the day before I had him PTS - it was a good day and he looked great (rug hid a multitude of issues!). I still get up on sunny days and think it's sad that he's missing a nice day (it was 2 month ago) but he had far more bad days than good days so on balance my decision was right

 

[LaurenBay]

I am sorry you are facing this. I am going through something similar and I am going to call the vets today to ask them to come out to have a chat and look her over. She is only 13 but she has arthritis and looks to struggling slightly. I am so worried that I will let it go on to long and make her suffer. I really don't want that but I am also really worried that I will make that decision too quickly and she will be fine for a good while yet.

 

[meleeka]

I think speaking to the vet may help you decide either way. Keep him on the Bute so the vet can judge how he’s going to be in the winter. Ha he been tested for cushings? If that hasn’t been done I would as the medication can make a huge difference to them.

You sound like me. The worst thought wasn’t saying goodbye, but letting my mare get to the stage where she was suffering. The thought of that was what kept me awake at night. When I made the decision the vet came that day,before I changed my mind.

Your OH is being a knob and should be supporting you, not criticising. It’s not (thankfully) up to him so don’t get into a discussion with him.

 

[southerncomfort]

I really feel for you and know exactly what you are going through.

I've posted about my old mare. Vet has done lots of tests but we've come to the conclusion that she is just old and tired. She has days where she stumbles and she has days where she has a canter and a buck and still looks to be enjoying life. I've had a lot of opinions for and against PTS but what I decided to do was alter the way I care for her to ensure that she gets lots of rest and isn't bothered by the other horses, and as soon as the number of tired/wobbly days begins to increase then it'll be time.

People say you know when it's time, that they let you know. I'm not sure about this but I feel certain my girl isn't ready yet, she's still got too much life about her. Still got that mischievous twinkle in her eye, but I know it's coming and I've prepared myself as much as I can.

I think you should have a chat with the vet if it helps clear your head a little. My vet has been incredibly helpful and supportive throughout.

 

[DD]

I had the vet out to help me decide with mine. he said the horse had no future and to call the hunt to shoot her. he later congratulated me on my wise decision to pts. its new fluffy keep everything alive vets you have to look out for they are not realistic.

 

[TheresaW]

People say you know when it's time, that they let you know. I'm not sure about this but I feel certain my girl isn't ready yet, she's still got too much life about her. Still got that mischievous twinkle in her eye, but I know it's coming and I've prepared myself as much as I can.

This is me exactly right now.

I have posted about Mac on here several times over the last few months. Like Southerncomforts mare, he really is “just old”. He’s in general good health, and since being on prascend, has improved massively. He is happy, sound, and still very much in charge of the other two. He is still quite thin though, so I have the vet coming out later today to give him a thorough MOT and to have the chat.

 

[scats]

Lucky for your OH that he's never seen a person or an animal at the very end to understand what the suffering can be. I had a human friend with cancer and I'd have PTS here if I'd have been allowed to it was terrible in the last week.

.

As I sat at my Nans bedside during her last couple of weeks, all I could think was how I would never in a million years let my animals suffer like that and how utterly horrific it is that some humans have to go through this.

OP- I find in these instances that you, as the owner, have to go with your gut feeling. Your OH is not seeing it from the point of view of the person dealing day in and day out with this horse and having to deal with the associated anxieties.

I totally understand how hard it is when you feel you lack the support of someone in a decision like this. A few days before Diva was put to sleep, I told my mum that I felt we were fighting a losing battle and she’d had enough. Mum hadn’t seen her for a good few weeks and even then it had been a fleeting glance in the field, so she struggled to see where I was coming from. She said she would come down to see her the next day, which she did. Within five minutes of Mum arriving, I was on the phone booking to put her to sleep the next day. Mum hadn’t really appreciated how fed up and uncomfortable the Diva had become until she saw her. She then realised what I was facing everyday- the utter heartbreak at knowing things were going downhill and there was nothing we could do. It felt so much better to have my mum on board, but to be honest, even if she hadn’t, I would still have known what needed to be done. Sometimes you just have to make that call yourself.

 

[siennamum]

Someone has said "better a month too soon than a month too late".

VERY very true.

I had the vet yesterday morning, he PTS my two oldies, both at the same time.

It simply would not have been fair to put either of them through another winter; and they were so pair-bonded that one would have grieved without the other. So an easy decision.

Myself and the previous owner of the mare, and her daughter, were all here not only to support each other but to make it as pleasant and ambient a time as possible for these two lovely horses.

We all knew this was coming, the "decision" would have to be made; and I really feel for OP because it isn't easy, but the thing I would say is that a dividing line between "sentiment" and "compassion" has to be drawn - oh so often being "sentimental" over an animal can mean that "compassion" is sidelined.

OP this needs to be YOUR decision and yours alone. If you do "get the vet out", then bear in mind that he/she cannot make the decision for you, they can only advise.

I was lucky in that I have a truly wonderful vet who looks at all the factors and gives an honest, unbiased, and compassionate opinion.

But if you know in your heart of heart that "the time" has come............ and I suspect you do.... then you know there is only one course of action.

Oh Gosh, how sad for you, though what a kind decision. I couldnt agree more with everything you have written, was looking at my old girl this morning thinking "is now the right time?" really hard.

 

[SpringArising]

Your OH sounds like a complete idiot and has the mindset of a child. I couldn't be with someone who was acting as your OH is; regardless of whether or not you 'get' horses, he should be telling you that he trusts your judgement and that he will support you in whatever you think is best.

 

[paddi22]

Yeah what always pushes me to pts oldies is the thought of how they will feel when the heavy cold rain starts, or the snow like last year. I'd hate to think of them stiff or unable to get up. I would never want to put a horse through the process of being pts in a field because it had gone down. i had to do it once and it's horrific, never again. i'd rather put a horse to sleep 6 months early that go through that again. You have to be aware as well that the pts injection can be ineffective on older horses with heart/circulation issues. Some the liquid just doesn't circulate fast enough and they can have a slow painful death. I am very very conscious of that now, and would much prefer to them to spoil them rotten for a few weeks, say all i have to say to them, and then bring them to the hunt on a sunny day with a bucket of feed.

On a practical level as well, if the horse does have to get pts because its gone down for any reason, its very distressing to see them in the field, and then try and arran ge for the body to be taken. Its very upsetting. Its much better to make a call on it when you can see the horses days are getting tougher and tougher.