Old Owners...

A

ABC

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Hi,

I was just wondering...

Do you think old owners should have a say in your horses life/future?

My horses old owner, as lovely as she is, and I had a falling out this morning because she was criticising the way I treat my horse.:( She offered to buy him back because she believes I haven't "gelled" with him and that he should have shoes on.

I said that I have gelled with him, and to me we have an amazing bond. He doesn't need shoes on, my uncle is a farrier and he regularly checks his feet, as well as my farrier. Vet also commented that he has good feet for a TB.

Basically she doesn't like the way I treat him, whether its because she thinks I'm cruel, ignorant, or just don't care I don't know and it really upset me, but the thing is I can't help feeling that he is my horse, and it has got nothing to do with her, particularly as she hasn't seen him for 11 months.

I guess what I'm asking is: Do you think old owners should have a say in what you do with your horse/how you treat them?

Just to add, I love my horse with all my heart and have worked extremely hard with him. He was extremely bargy and rude on the ground when I first got him but now he is as good as gold. He still as issues being ridden, and I suspect that I'm partly to blame as my confidence isn't the best. However I know that we will get sorted, however long it takes, I'm not going to rush him, he's still a baby :)
 
When it comes to it old owners have zero power over any decisions taken regarding the horse they sold. A shame that she has fallen out with you over this, but you are his owner and, as such, the decisions are yours to make. If she wants to be involved with those choices then she shouldn't have sold him. Sounds harsh, but that is the way it is! Sounds like your way is different to her way - no harm in that at all, and it seems you have plenty of professionals keeping an eye too and who are happy with what they see, so it hardly sounds like he is being abused!! Have courage of your convictions!
 
sheep said:
Oh dear- I can't imagine how frustrating that must be.

Is she on the same yard as you? Or are you just in regular contact by phone / email / whatever?
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Regular contact over the phone and texts.

Before I bought him I didnt know her but have stayed in touch to give her updates. In a sense I havent given her all of the good updates because I didnt want to rub it in her face (she sold him because she couldnt handle him on the ground and now he's perfect on the ground) but this has made her think I havent progressed anywhere with him, I have and I told her so on the phone earlier.

I go on holiday tomorrow till saturday and she said she'd come up and look after him, I told her she was very welcome to visit anytime but I've already organised who's looking after him, and tbh he needs someone who knows what their doing otherwise he'll fall back into old habits. She's just told me she's driving up tomorrow with a trailer, in case I change my mind and want to sell. :confused:

I've said he is not for sale, and tbh its a good job she doesn't know where is he kept.

I've got a feeling she thinks she'd sell him for a year, let someone put the hard work in, and then buy him back :confused:

Really confused now, and not sure what to do :confused:
 
ABC said:
Regular contact over the phone and texts.

Before I bought him I didnt know her but have stayed in touch to give her updates. In a sense I havent given her all of the good updates because I didnt want to rub it in her face (she sold him because she couldnt handle him on the ground and now he's perfect on the ground) but this has made her think I havent progressed anywhere with him, I have and I told her so on the phone earlier.

I go on holiday tomorrow till saturday and she said she'd come up and look after him, I told her she was very welcome to visit anytime but I've already organised who's looking after him, and tbh he needs someone who knows what their doing otherwise he'll fall back into old habits. She's just told me she's driving up tomorrow with a trailer, in case I change my mind and want to sell. :confused:

I've said he is not for sale, and tbh its a good job she doesn't know where is he kept.

I've got a feeling she thinks she'd sell him for a year, let someone put the hard work in, and then buy him back :confused:

Really confused now, and not sure what to do :confused:
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Yikes, she sounds a bit keen! I would be inclined to tell her to feck off tbh!! If she can't be polite and respect what you are saying then she wouldn't be someone I would want continuing contact with, nor would I want around my horse.
 
Oh dear.. I feel very sorry for you. Must be very hard to not upset her, at the same time I'm sure you'd love to politely (and I do mean politely!) clear off.

Is there any way you can gently lie your way out of this one? Say he's going to a friend's house so won't be at the yard? I can't believe the trailer bit..!

^^ echoing above as well- my email just told me about that!

It sounds like you've done really well with him. Is there any way you can put it to her in the nicest way that he is now your horse, he is going well for you and you'd rather focus your energy on him, instead of constantly feeling like she's watching over your shoulder?!

Good luck!
 
TBH I'd tell her to get lost, ( politely if you want )
If she wanted a say in his future, she shouldn't have sold him.
As for driving over with a trailer ready...thats ringing alarm bells for me I'm afraid. What a cheek !
Dont let her near him again, cut all ties.
Kx
 
I "watch" my old horse on FB but would never, never interfear with the new owner, he belongs to that person now. I would block her number on your phone and also her email address. Some people just have no boundaries. Don't stress, this person has no rights at all, either legally or morally.
 
I think I'd be a bit concerned that she was going to turn up and drive off with him. I think you need to make sure that the people on your yard realise that this lady is not to handle your horse, or take him anywhere while you are away on holiday.

I think it is probably time to stop responding to her emails and calls.
 
Thanks,

I do want to tell her to do one, but she obviously misses him and if I was in her shoes then I'd want to stay in touch so I can understand it.

I think I just need to get across to her that he is my horse now, and not hers.

He's in a field next door to my mum and dad's house, so I'm pretty confident she wont be able to take him (he won't load anyway so she'd have a job :D )

Hmm, I'm going to reply to her text just saying she is very welcome to visit, when I get home, without the trailer, because he is mine, not hers, and he is not for sale.

Sound reasonable ? :)
 
She has no rights over him at all! I would just ignore her and cut off all contact. Make sure that everyone at the yard or anybody who has any dealings with your horse knows nthe situation and that you are NOT selling him to her or anybody else!
 
Hmm, I'm going to reply to her text just saying she is very welcome to visit, when I get home, without the trailer, because he is mine, not hers, and he is not for sale.
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No! Don't invite her - she mustn't know where he is kept!
 
ABC said:
Hi,

I was just wondering...

Do you think old owners should have a say in your horses life/future?

My horses old owner, as lovely as she is, and I had a falling out this morning because she was criticising the way I treat my horse.:( She offered to buy him back because she believes I haven't "gelled" with him and that he should have shoes on.

I said that I have gelled with him, and to me we have an amazing bond. He doesn't need shoes on, my uncle is a farrier and he regularly checks his feet, as well as my farrier. Vet also commented that he has good feet for a TB.

Basically she doesn't like the way I treat him, whether its because she thinks I'm cruel, ignorant, or just don't care I don't know and it really upset me, but the thing is I can't help feeling that he is my horse, and it has got nothing to do with her, particularly as she hasn't seen him for 11 months.

I guess what I'm asking is: Do you think old owners should have a say in what you do with your horse/how you treat them?

Just to add, I love my horse with all my heart and have worked extremely hard with him. He was extremely bargy and rude on the ground when I first got him but now he is as good as gold. He still as issues being ridden, and I suspect that I'm partly to blame as my confidence isn't the best. However I know that we will get sorted, however long it takes, I'm not going to rush him, he's still a baby :)
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Not if they sold him, then they have no say at all. If she wants a say she can offer to buy him back, and if the price suits you, then you can accept, or not. That is the start and end of it.
 
The old owner really is a piece of work isn't she?

Unfortunately as nice as you want to be to her I don't think that's going to work :( You are going to have to be very firm with her and tell her to back off, forcibly if necessary.

Make sure anyone looking out for your horse knows what the old owner has said and that you want a close eye kept on him while you are away, then go and enjoy your break
 
It sounds to me that you would be best breaking off all contact. Perhaps the start of this would be to stop offering to let her come and visit. Don't reply to texts, messages etc.
 
Crikey, I would be seriously concerned about the turning up with a trailer bit, sounds a bit stalkerish and determined to me. Make sure she doesn't know where he is and also reiterate that he is under watchful eye at all times. Sounds like she has changed her mind about owning him and regrets selling in the first place but that is tough, he is yours now and only you can decide what you do with him. Stay calmn but firm and break all contact.
 
Oh I give up, have deleted her number and ignored her texts, I need to try and block her number.

I've just recieved a lovely voicemail stating I stole her horse from her and she wants him back now and if he's not at a certain livery yard by Sunday morning the police will be involved. :rolleyes:

I have the reciept she gave me for him somewhere, might take a picture of it and email her it, or is that too childish? :o
 
She sold him, and when she did that she lost any righrs over his future. Sorry to sound harsh, but I have very limited patience with people who sell up then whine on and on about 'their' horse - no, not your horse any more. If you want to continue to have a say, then full loan instead.

I'd be putting a couple of good padlocks on your stable door and field gates! And if your local police force has an officer who deals with equine matters (some do) a little chat with them probably wouldn't go amiss.
 
Wow she sounds like a proper nut job. Just keep ignoring her and have a few giggles at her messages, she doesn't have a leg to stand on...............or a horse to ride! hehe i know i'm a b!tch.
 
ABC said:
Oh I give up, have deleted her number and ignored her texts, I need to try and block her number.

I've just recieved a lovely voicemail stating I stole her horse from her and she wants him back now and if he's not at a certain livery yard by Sunday morning the police will be involved. :rolleyes:

I have the reciept she gave me for him somewhere, might take a picture of it and email her it, or is that too childish? :o
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She sounds rather obsessed doesn't she :eek:

I would be finding the receipt and keeping it in a safe place. Might be worth having a word with your local police about this and telling them about her claims and her threat to turn up with a trailer. Just in case
 
Blimey, its very reassuring to hear that these nut-jobs are out at large in the community. I'd be tempted to send one final text message to say that you have already involved the police and they agree that you have a case for harrassment against her. Had she been sane and reasonable I see no reason why ex-owners shouldn't like to keep in touch, but she has well overstepped the mark. Incidentally, wouldn't she know that he was a bad loader so bringing a trailer would be a waste of time?
 
I have the reciept she gave me for him somewhere, might take a picture of it and email her it, or is that too childish?
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Find the reciept. Scan it onto your computer. Keep the original safe, as passports are not proof of ownership - the reciept is.

Warn your YO/family about what she has said.

Contact MHOL, to get advice - treat her threat seriously - is she deluded enough to try to steal him away in the night?

Maybe get the horse freezemarked and link yourself with him on NED Online.
 
kaiko said:
Wow she sounds like a proper nut job. Just keep ignoring her and have a few giggles at her messages, she doesn't have a leg to stand on...............or a horse to ride! hehe i know i'm a b!tch.
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Haha, made me giggle though :D :D
 
ABC said:
Oh I give up, have deleted her number and ignored her texts, I need to try and block her number.

I've just recieved a lovely voicemail stating I stole her horse from her and she wants him back now and if he's not at a certain livery yard by Sunday morning the police will be involved. :rolleyes:

I have the reciept she gave me for him somewhere, might take a picture of it and email her it, or is that too childish? :o
Click to expand...

In view of this I would be taking the receipt to my local police station and reporting her. I know that they aren't always the most reactive in these situations but it may be worth requesting that they pay her a visit and advising her that she is not to approach you or your horse.

Make sure that you dont delete the message or any texts that she has sent you. They could be useful if she becomes too much of a nuisance.
 
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