OMG this is AMAZING!!!!!!!

B

Booboos

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I’ve just been to the most AMAZING training session with this new, fantastic trainer Booboos! Booboos is an internationally admired trainer in (insert country of your choice) coming for the first time to the UK for an EXCLUSIVE tour! Quick reserve your place, places are limited!!!!!!!!!!

The BooboosTechnique (trademark) is practiced exclusively by Booboos - you won’t be seeing it at any competitions; Booboos is above competing as the world really does not understand her greatness and the world of dressage, our beautiful sport, is now overtaken by judges bribed and twisted into supporting the suffering of horses! Booboos has perfected the technique of riding with her mind so she can ride any horse at any time from anywhere (call to book your virtual schooling session NOW!).

Is your horse fearful and spooky? Or maybe shy and lethargic? Or maybe lacking in natural talent, or suffering from injury or illness? Does it refuse to hack, or hate being turned out or unwilling to load or shy in traffic, or falls apart at competitions? Is it bay, grey, chestnut, coloured or roan? If you answered yes to any of the above then the BooboosTechnique (trademark) is for you!

The BooboosTechnique is based on the AMAZING insight of its creator Booboos! Booboos discovered that by lifting the horse’s tail and concentrating on the Anal Ductus, she could use the horse’s own NATURAL ENERGY CHANNELS to amplify her telepathic power and increase impulsion and engagement!!!!!!! Right-hemisphere Endocrine Suppressors are hightened through the technique leading to a state of Nirvana (as practiced by Ancient Buddist monks in the lost art of Zen and the Anus).

See for yourselves - tickets now on sale at a venue near you!

Visit our site for Booboos’s new book (three volumes) and DVD (seven volumes) for a step by step analysis – with sparkly pie charts!!! – of how to apply the Booboos technique yourself!

FLASH NEWS: send us a photo of your horse and for a small fee ($400) we will photoshop the image to show Booboos right next to your very own horse, this will amplify the effects of the Anal Ductus by 100%!!! Hurry, offer valid for a limited time only!

(Disclaimer: users practice the Booboos technique at their own risk and we are not to be held responsible for any **** they may get covered in while doing so)
 
ha ha funny - scary isnt it that there really are ads out these like that!

Anyhow in all seriousness please provide your email so I can send a photo of my horse to you. Oh and please let me know your bank details so I can send the $400.
 
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I take it Booboos learnt this technique at the University of Boolsheet, then modified it to cover all aspects of horse sh*t?
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I'd love to try it but I'm too busy working out my left from my right, my a*se from my elbow, my yin from my yang etc.
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Guys I've been to these clinics and they were amazing!
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Due to a horrific accident my lovely horse was turned into a camel (Equine Dromedary Syndrome) which put an end to our competition days as I had trouble with my sitting trot on the hump and BE would not accept our entries due to the increased risks posed by a camel in a rotational fall
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As a last measure I went to this clinic and Booboos saved us!
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She used her trademarked BooboosTechnique to reduce my horse's hump to almost nothing!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to get back to competitions (you can see me and my camel attempt dressage this week at a secret location in the Midlands - PM me for details).
 
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Anyhow in all seriousness please provide your email so I can send a photo of my horse to you. Oh and please let me know your bank details so I can send the $400.

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Fantastic! Have PM ed you the details of my Nigerian bank account! "Satisfaction guarranteed!" ***















*** Please note that nothing in the content of this email should be taken as a guarrantee, indemnity or promise of the efficacy, safety or otherwise adequacy of the Booboos Technique (trademark) as a horse training method.
 
Don't suppose you'd be able to sell me a special training aid (even a modified headcollar would do) for oh, maybe $125, and a DVD to show me how to use it? I feel that with a bit of extra help from your technique my horses and I could be champions!
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This sounds great! just what I'm looking for! What a great day I'm having I just got an email saying I had won the spanish lottery so I will be able to afford the Booboos books AND dvd can't wait!!!
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Is there any kind of suppliment I can feed to increase the activity of the anal ductus?.... or maybe a massage technique?.... I don't think my horse's chakras are aligned either will that affect it?....
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Don't suppose you'd be able to sell me a special training aid (even a modified headcollar would do) for oh, maybe $125, and a DVD to show me how to use it? I feel that with a bit of extra help from your technique my horses and I could be champions!
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Yes, the pattented Tail-LiFFter Extraordinaire will help you enhance the benefits of the technique and allow you to get to the furthest reaches of the Anus Ductus.

Standard colour (orange): $99.99 http://www.tradeindia.com/fp207308/Yellow-Bailer-Twine.html

Made to Order:
Pink: $149.99
Optional crystals: $49.00 each
 
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Is there any kind of suppliment I can feed to increase the activity of the anal ductus?.... or maybe a massage technique?.... I don't think my horse's chakras are aligned either will that affect it?....
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Glad you asked! Booboos does a full range of supplements based on the miraculous properties of Waterrr (trademark).

Spring Waterrr: for that extra bit of competitive energy
Still Waterrr: for its calming effects
Bottled Waterrr: for all ailments and injuries
Piss Waterrr: for the healthy function of kidneys and liver

New for 2009!
Dumb Waterrr: for the discerning horse owner! Finally a product in this AMAZING range specifically designed for humans!
 
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does it include flags, not interested if I dont get a stick or flag to wave at my horse.

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Of course there is a stick, but I would not advise you using it unless you have been to our Booboos Technique Weekend Away Training Sessions (Part I, II, III and Advanced), as it is not for waving around...
 
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This can help Spooky horses you say? Will it work on ponies? Do you think his reluctance to let me put a tail bandage on him might explain his spookiness, then?? Do you think he might be suffering from <font color="red">A</font>nal <font color="red">R</font>eluctance <font color="red">S</font>yndrom<font color="red">E</font>?
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I would love to sign up
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However, in order to overcome shipping and inport/export restrictions in Tabledancer-land it is necessary for me to send you $5,000 by counterfeit wire transfer so that you can then return me the $4,500 in real money. This is all above board I assure you and I am a genuine customer
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This can help Spooky horses you say? Will it work on ponies? Do you think his reluctance to let me put a tail bandage on him might explain his spookiness, then?? Do you think he might be suffering from <font color="red">A</font>nal <font color="red">R</font>eluctance <font color="red">S</font>yndrom<font color="red">E</font>?
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You've been to my workshops!!!!!!!! It's great to see my fans online, although guys don't mob me all at once!

For Spooky you may need the super-stick - it may look big but it will work, trust me!
 
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I would love to sign up
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However, in order to overcome shipping and inport/export restrictions in Tabledancer-land it is necessary for me to send you $5,000 by counterfeit wire transfer so that you can then return me the $4,500 in real money. This is all above board I assure you and I am a genuine customer
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You think I take my own Dumb Waterrr?
 
rofl, fantastic Booboos.
now you just have to interview someone famous with a lot of vital stuff to say, somehow make the whole interview about YOU and your AMAZING life-changing HORSE-CHANGING BooboosTechnique, and you'll have it cracked.
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sorry, where do i send my wire transfer for £1m to turn myself into the best rider in the world and my horse into Pegasus (but with invisible wings, so still BE legal.)
 
I think I might need the big stick too, does it work on welshes who as you will well know are a law unto themselves with regards to spooking. They take it to a whole new level
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Due to popular demand....Carl Hester talks frankly about the BooboosTechnique and how it is the secret to his international success!

BB: Carl!! YooHoo Carl! EXCUSE ME CARL!!!
Hello there! What do you say about the famous mind reading techniques discovered by the ninza turtle monks of zen and brought to the forefront of equestrian excellence by the BooboosTechnique?

CH: Do I know you?

BB: How very true! Identity is at the heart of this matter! Do I know you, do you know me, do I know me? Does anyone know anyone really without the power of the Anus Ductus?! I would agree with Carl that you can’t really know your horse unless you have trained your telepathic powers (Disk V, part 2, Section 3).

CH: I am sorry, I am in a bit of a hurry.

BB: We are ALL sorry! In fact ‘sorry’ doesn’t cover the least of it. We are outraged, astounded, offended – join our petition everyone, it’s spearheaded by Carl! But what do you think about the Stick Carl? (pops stick right under his nose).

CH: Ah, hhhm, erh…very straight?

BB: Indeed! Only the genuine BooboosTechnique Sticks (trademark), made by the strictest standards, have the required straightness to achieve all your competitive goals – we also do Phantastic Ilastic Reins (Trademark), would you like one Carl?

CH: **** off!

Disclaimer: any resemblance to persons real or imaginary is entirely fictional and the result of drinking too much Waterrr.
 
Any rythm beads? Really need a new set and am happy to part with stupid amounts of money for the pleasure
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They must be the same colour as the stick too
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I am sorry, but you are obviously a complete charlatan since you have made no mention of the importance of using the Colour Wheel to determine which colour personality the horse has, nor have you explored the requirement for ensuring that the meridian energies of horse and rider are aligned before you mount, and you seem to have forgotten the very basic principle of determining the orientation of your arena in relation to the nearest ley-lines - it could be that your students have the problems in the first place because they are trying to achieve things with a horse turned out in a paddock which does not have the correct energy flows in relation to the arena - the ley-lines are terribly important in this.

I do really encourage people to look into this more closely, there are some real fundamentals missing here
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