On a bit of a downer...

B

Boodle

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Stupid post really, and i've posted a few similar in the past.

Was out at a village gala today and ran into a woman I used to ride for. First horse I rode for her I loved to pieces and was sold on my 14th birthday after i'd worked her all year, to a girl in a neighbouring farm.
Then I rode a lovely little 14hh gelding for her for almost two years, schooling him on, competing him etc. He was also sold on.

Anyway, ran into her today and she told me that aforementioned mare (first horse i rode for her) was up for sale, and that current owner had refused to sell her to a few people already because she was worried (typically PC style) that they may do better on her than she had.
This lady knows how much I love her and asked me if i'd be interested in buying her... it has been a dream of mine for four years to buy this mare, but money would not allow for us to even consider being given a horse, never mind purchasing one in the first place. lol.

Pretty devastated.. then she asked me if i'd been doing much riding/competing.

Felt rubbish to say I hadn't competed properly since 2005. And I had nothing to do more than 20 minute hacks on without risk of laming them.

She said "Oh that's a shame, you were so good!".

I almost wanted to cry! I've never had anyone compliment my riding before, I can't afford to have lessons and even if i could I have no horse to have lessons on. All my money goes into keeping my four little invalids.

She continued on about how her daughter has a games pony and a jumping pony and goes all over the place with PC, in teams etc. It was lovely to hear how her daughter has improved as she used to be such a nervous little thing.

After, i drove home and actually had a little cry about the whole thing, then felt horrifically ungrateful for I am so lucky to have my four wonderful ponies to love and to ride every so often. I do however, so miss going for a blast round a XC course or doing SJ at local shows. I never wanted to affiliate or never had big ambitions, i just loved having a wee competition once or twice a month.
Or even making jumps at home out of tyres and logs "borrowed" from the wood to play around over.

It is mega silly and I think im just feeling all emotional for various reasons.

Sorrry for the rant. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything. Just needed to get it out of my system, because I don't want to talk to my Mum about it as she then feels that what i've been given isn't enough for me, when it is.

Sorry.

A very silly Kirsty
 


Awww, no I understand what you're saying. You wouldn't change your ones for the world but at the same time, you'd love to be able to just have a little blast occasionally.

I don't blame you at all hun
frown.gif


If you lived closer I'd give you mine to school on & compete for me. Sister isn't experienced enough just yet & I'd love to see her out & about again!

*hugs* xxx
 
I can understand how you feel! I miss having a horse with no 'issues', that I could just stick a saddle on and go off and do whatever, safe in the knowledge it would behave.

Have you considered trying to find a share? There may be someone out there who would like a little help with their horse and that would let you have some fun and do some competing.
 
Oh poor you! Not silly at all! Could you prehaps put a few adverts up or ask around, I'm sure there's someone who needs a horse exercising.
 
Warning long post….

It is horrid, I know the smallest things people say can upset you. People can be insensitive and we can take things badly if we are feeling vulnerable. I have just had to bite my bottom lip...my grandad who I love dearly has just said (about 10mins ago..) that he did not think I should have my horse who I bred and spend every penny one as he thought I was timid...not like my sister...grrr. He said he did not think I have it in me to ride much and thought I was scared....now I might add that he has not seen me ride in 15+ years if ever and does not know much more about horses than they eat grass??? When I questioned his reasoning he said well I am frightened of mice... yes I don't like them and had to put rubber gloves on to move the one his cat dragged in alive yesterday. But I don't see how that makes me a bad or scared rider.

He then proceeded to tell me that my cousin was told she was an excellent rider as a child and 'could have gone to the Olympics' yer right like we all can....but 'not all children are lucky to have had horses like you' i.e. I have wasted an opportunity and my cousin was better.

I have now reclused to my bedroom (I stay with him when I need to be in his part of the world...) and I too feel like a little cry.

I know not to take it to heart or to listen to him when he is being like this…he’s in his late 80’s so I should just humour him but it really hurts. I have had opportunities but as we all know horses will be horse and have injuries and it costs so much money to even get to competitions let alone prove to yourself or anyone else you are any good. My other horse is retired early due to an old injury and I would not think of sending him somewhere else like he keeps suggesting I just have to live with the fact at the moment I have no ride but still spend all my money on them.

In the end I told my granddad it is a shame my cousin missed the Olympics selection this time but if she starts riding again she has 4 years to get to the London ones and I might even have a suitable horse if she is good enough.
GRRRRR breathe and ignore!

So Boodle you are so not alone!!
 
Remember that this situation won't last forever. One day, you'll have a job & your own money, etc, & then you will really, really appreciate it all the more when you get your own horse. I know it seems a long way off now, but when you've done it all yourself, & not been given anything on a place, it's sooo satisfying.
 
Hi...

sorry I know nothing about your circs, as I haven't read any of your other posts... but people don't compliment your riding without good reason... so you ARE a good rider.

So many people would love to have an extra rider available to be able to exercise when they can't, but never advertise because they need better than the average riding-school rider they fear would apply. Most of these situations come up via word of mouth.

My advice to you, if you have the time to spare to occasionally help someone out, in exchange for hopefully getting some more "exciting" opportunities, is to tell everyone you know, that you are looking for another ride... you may be pleasantly surprised what comes your way!

Good luck... !
 
That's lovely of you to say. You're mare reminds me of a gelding I used to know at an RS. She's beautiful.

Thank you.
x
 
I have considered a share, but most require input with costs etc, which I simply can't afford due to my four. Then comes the problem of finding time. With my four two look after, exams at the moment, and then having to get a full time job this summer in order to afford to go to college it's not the easiest situations.

Thanks for your advice.
xx
 
I think there probably would be, it's just the problem of me having lack of time due to my four ponies. As above.

Thanks for the suggestion tho.
xx
 
Oh I certainly don't think she was being insensitive, it just made me abit upset as I realised how much I miss it. It was nice of her to ask.
But ouch, he sounds very harsh! I think I would've got abit upset about that. Sensitive souls that we are!

I hope you are feeling better?
I went out and cuddled one of my ponies for an hour and now feel better.

Thanks for replying.
xx
 
I know you are completely right! It will be so amazing.
Something to look forward to certainly. Thanks for your reply.
xxx
 
It would be lovely to do, I might ask my little sister to contribute more with regards to helping out with the horses, as she does occasionally take one of my ponies out for a hack. This would give me more time to perhaps offer help to someone and in return get occasional rides.

Now it's just to convincing her to muck in.

Thanks for replying!
xx
 
You poor thing, maybe she might buy her back?
I must say you have your head screwed on, whereas you could be wasting money on a horse now and not getting anywhere in life you are doing the opposite and are going to have a bloody good education and future. Once you have that all over and done with you will be able to go out and buy a lovely eventing horse!!
Thats where I went wrong.

Good on you girl!
Hugs xxx
 
That was such a sad post, but you must congratulate yourself on the compassion you show to your collection of oldies, your maturity and the consideration you show to your parents.

If you are a good rider now it doesn't matter that you don't have anything to have a bit of fun on at the moment because you will still be a good rider in however many years it takes for you to be in the position to get a nice horse (possibly a bit rusty
wink.gif
)
 
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