Once more unto the breach, dear friends....

[nikkimariet]

Always look forward to these!!!!!

 

[LittleRooketRider]

Hahaha!!! "Jesus, Tina and the waterjump full of wine" will be stuck in my head making me laugh hysterically until I croak.

Well done on the clear!!

 

[Clodagh]

Fantastic report as always, loved every minute.

 

[atlantis]

That's a CLEAR ROUND in my book. Did the time faults you simply fancied the scenic route!!!

 

[Noble]

Just fantastic, loved it all as usual and waiting in anticipation for your next report. X

 

[EventingMum]

Huge congratulations, what a team you and your OH are eventing with a baby and toddler. I'm sure the sat nav failure was just due to baby brain, once the fog clears you'll be winning - unless of course you're planning a 3rd little person!

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

You are either completely barking mad or an extremely talented individual. Whichever it is, your descriptive report writing has to be applauded.

 

[Farma]

Brilliant viv ...been cracking up reading this! Glad your back up to intermediate with only navigational issues to worry about x

 

[HotToTrot]

OMG I'm dying with laughter.
How on earth can you do such an awesome job of the nemesis fence and then get lost to the last!!!

I really think you need a Jeremy Clarkson style column in H&H ... It could seriously boost their sub rate!

Ridiculous, isn't it!

Just brilliant my mum has the same lack of a sense of direction maybe children cause it?
Super well done!

x x

I hadn't thought of that! But most things can be blamed on them, I am sure.

Lovely (and hysterical) report as usual...and I agree with IHW..why on earth have you not been snapped up by HH????

I tried! They didn't want me, so you lot get me on here instead.

Brilliant! Thanks for sharing

Thanks!

I love reading your posts, they're brilliant

Well done on the bogey fences, and don't we all wish we could turn the water jump into wine at some point! If only...!! In my case, before the DR would be ideal
Not so well done on the parking fine and other driving fine and points....

Yes, before the DR would help. Ugh, the driving bits were very annoying.

fantastic report as ever

Thanks!

I love your reports, always make me smile. Well done for getting round clear!

Thanks!

Great report. Love reading your stuff

Thank you!

 

[HotToTrot]

Your reports are amazing! I'm laughing like a crazy person in the office

Thanks!

Fab report as always - did you actually go through the warm-up!?

Actually through the warm up. I popped up on the far side, spied the gaps in the string and actually went straight back through the warm up.

Hotototrot i LOVE your reports!!!!

Well bloody done! sounds like you rode a absolute blinder (perhaps slight blind with the final fence) but well done!!!!

Thanks! Yes, definitely a bit blind...

Another brilliant report HTT - and sounds like you did an amazing job until the last, but how boring would it be without a good canter through the warm up

Well, exactly.

hilarious, can't imagine what commentator was saying as you went on your excursion

The commentator was commenting on how I'd lost control of my horse. My husband was watching and knowing full well that I'd actually lost control of any semblance of navigational ability that I may have had.

hysterical!

but on a serious note the XC and SJ seem to be coming together nicely, well done xxxx

Thank you for kindly not mentioning that I am still absolutely awful at dressage!

That is yet another one of your epic reports! :biggrin3: Well done on the tricky fences, now to find a memory app for last fence guidance? x

An app that functions as a brain would be great.

I have loved your other reports, but this was the BEST!

I wonder if you are the first to do a tour of the warm up on course?

Well done with the tricky fences!

Thanks! I don't know - I was trying to remember what the rules were about jumping string (but I didn't jump any string).

I must admit that when I see your reports on here (and #te, e_venting etc) I have to look up how you've done prior to reading- easy to spot as Vito hardly has the most imaginative show name! I just can't stand the anticipation throughout and prefer reading when I know it's a happy ending!!

Well done, fab day and fab report, brilliantly written as always

Yes, do you think his breeders got bored? "It's by Vito, out of Fleur, oh, we'll call it Vito's Fleur..."

Brilliant report! Have you/Can you a write a book? I'm sure you've been asked before but I would most definitely buy it!!

Thanks! No, I haven't.

 

[HotToTrot]

I think the only time I ever post on here is when I read your reports - I'm now literally crying with laughter, you're a genius, please do more writing, we love it.

Not to mention being amazing at all the other stuff, like getting round so well in the first place of course!

Thanks, you are too kind!

Back up to intermediate, excellent

Sounds like a fantastic round but seriously, how can you jump all of those big fences and loose the finish line ;-0

Good luck for your next outing.

I know......

Fantabulous! Beautifully written and I was in stitches at the end. But well done for the clear and yah boo sucks to the time faults.

I empathise on the direction dyslexia - I cannot in a split second recognise left and right. However, I am sure I am the only person in the world who, having found myself in an impromptu dressage test on an impromptu horse that had managed to knock its rider out 10 minutes previously, came down the centre line and panicked when the caller said C turn left. I rode 4 10m circles trying to instill something, just something, into my blank mind. My caller was going 'LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!' and the judge had practically fallen asleep with her head on the horn. Fortunately, her writer realised, got out of the car and said 'Other left' and we were ok again.

Oh wow!!!

Gosh, well done. Terrific report.

Thanks!

I can actually feel the fear and do it anyway in your posts. You're funny. Very funny. Well done.

Yes, there was plenty of fear.

Well that cheered up a crappy Monday. Well done - pi**ing myself laughing as usual and glad I have my own office!

Hope Tuesday is better than Monday!

Well done, it was a clear even if completed with a bit of circumnavigation, there must have been slightly nonplussed fence judges and control!

Well control were busily saying I'd lost control (my husband knew exactly what had happened.... But yes, the fence judges must have been shocked to see me pop up from out of the warm up next to their car!

Absolutely brilliant! Well done on the tricky combination - your Jesus / trainer chanelling sounds very effective so take a little credit for yourself

As for parking, you could try moving south of the river if it doesn't bring you out in hives (it's taken me a few years to get over it) - 'only' 120 per year where I am in the shadier end of Wandsworth borough!

Is it banded depending on the car, though? I get stung for having a mouldy Chelsea tractor with a large engine and awful emissions.

Another fabulous report. Cheered up my evening at work! Better go see my next consult now I've wiped the tears from my face!

Ha, thanks!

brilliant! i just dont know how you do it!! Please please write a book

Ha, I'd love to!

 

[Vodkagirly]

Love your reports.
Like the questions your husband asks while walking the course. He sounds like a good coach.

 

[monte1]

Just love reading your posts, you are truly inspirational and extremely funny
well done for the tecnically "clear round" looking forward to hearing about your next event very soon !!

 

[Fun Times]

I am beginning to think that you are either a) a fraud; b) Jesus; or c) Tina because I fail to see how anyone can work the job you work with two children, event at intermediate AND manage to park a chelsea tractor in a London high street. Its the latter that really makes me question your credibility as that really is a step too far!

 

[CrazyEquestrian]

How you managed to park a Chelsea tractor on a London street is beyond me. But on another note well done! Simply adore your posts!

 

[Girlracer]

Hahaha. Brilliant. Well done!

 

[Lucyad]

Wonderful - someone on Horse and Hound give this lady a column!!!

 

[HotToTrot]

Always look forward to these!!!!!

Thanks!! Need to take a leaf out of your book for the dressage, though.

Hahaha!!! "Jesus, Tina and the waterjump full of wine" will be stuck in my head making me laugh hysterically until I croak.

Well done on the clear!!

They seemed like a good combination!

Fantastic report as always, loved every minute.

Thanks.

That's a CLEAR ROUND in my book. Did the time faults you simply fancied the scenic route!!!

He needed a longer run to get his fitness up, really.

Just fantastic, loved it all as usual and waiting in anticipation for your next report. X

Thanks!

Huge congratulations, what a team you and your OH are eventing with a baby and toddler. I'm sure the sat nav failure was just due to baby brain, once the fog clears you'll be winning - unless of course you're planning a 3rd little person!

I wish I could blame it on baby brain, but the truth is, I'm not sure I have a brain in the first place.

You are either completely barking mad or an extremely talented individual. Whichever it is, your descriptive report writing has to be applauded.

Hhhm. I'll take the former!

Brilliant viv ...been cracking up reading this! Glad your back up to intermediate with only navigational issues to worry about x

As always!!

Love your reports.
Like the questions your husband asks while walking the course. He sounds like a good coach.

He is! He knows a surprising amount about eventing, for someone who's never sat on a horse.

Just love reading your posts, you are truly inspirational and extremely funny
well done for the tecnically "clear round" looking forward to hearing about your next event very soon !!

Hope I don't get lost again!

I am beginning to think that you are either a) a fraud; b) Jesus; or c) Tina because I fail to see how anyone can work the job you work with two children, event at intermediate AND manage to park a chelsea tractor in a London high street. Its the latter that really makes me question your credibility as that really is a step too far!

But I am normally full of wine! Does that make me the water jump? And nobody, not even Jesus or Tina, parks a Chelsea tractor on a London high street quite like I do.

How you managed to park a Chelsea tractor on a London street is beyond me. But on another note well done! Simply adore your posts!

It's very old. It has a few scratches....

Hahaha. Brilliant. Well done!

Thanks!

Wonderful - someone on Horse and Hound give this lady a column!!!

Ha!

 

[Nicco]

That was just the best report ever!! Very well done.
Sympathise with London parking etc but while living there Vito will keep you sane!!!!
Great result at Aston. Don't go back to the day job, take up writing full time. You make us readers laugh out loud!!

 

[Sukistokes2]

Great report......I seem to have snorted by bourbon biscuit up through my nose......very funny!

 

[HotToTrot]

That was just the best report ever!! Very well done.
Sympathise with London parking etc but while living there Vito will keep you sane!!!!
Great result at Aston. Don't go back to the day job, take up writing full time. You make us readers laugh out loud!!

Thanks!

Great report......I seem to have snorted by bourbon biscuit up through my nose......very funny!

Ooops!