One rule for one and one for another?

poiuytrewq

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OH and I have been having a little disagreement on this one!
Can you have different rules for different dogs? Do they realise. I think not, he thinks I’m being unfair.
Stuff like (mainly Cecil I guess) he is allowed to come upstairs while I shower, he lies outside the bathroom and waits, yet I don’t want Bertie thundering around upstairs unaccompanied.
If it’s wet outside when they go for a wee they stay in the kitchen to dry for a bit, cecil has such tiny paws and short hair, he also tip toes out does a wee and comes back so Is clean and comes straight in after a towel.
In the car (I have a dog mobile/ little van!) the dogs all pile in the back… except Cecil, because he came everywhere with me from tiny, before I got the van and I had no dog friendly boot so he always went on the front seat and it’s a habit that’s stuck. First in a crate and now he has a car harness and is belted in.
I don’t think the others are sat in the back on their duvet thinking how unfair that is surely.
Do your dogs all have the same rules and would is it humanising them thinking they would be bothered?
 

dottylottie

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i only have 1 dog so not quite the same, but the ponies follow different rules - lily gets away with a hell of a lot more, because she doesn’t take the p*** like the baby goes! for example, lily will stand and nibble a bit of grass on the yard whilst i take her boots and saddle off, but the baby isn’t hand grazed at all because she turns into a monster and tries to cart me off as soon as she’s outdoors🤣
 

Pearlsacarolsinger

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I don't, unless there is a good medical reason. Our dogs are crated overnight or if we go out, however, if Daycare Dog is here, she has one crate and our brown one has the other, while our older dogs sleep on the settee. They are always glad to get back into their own bed. DD is staying here for 3 weeks in the New Year, so we will see how that goes.
I certainly wouldn't have a dog on the front seat of the car, no matter how well strapped in, for safety reasons.
I agree with your OH, we have the same rules for everybody. That way, the younger ones learn from the older ones.
 

poiuytrewq

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I don’t think they realise though, my argument is that they are not looking at one another and thinking “why is he allowed to do that”
They do have other differences in how they are kept so It’s not like every other aspect is the same.
They are fed differently, daughters dog spend much of his time with her when she’s here rather than with us.
I don’t take Spud on lead walks, but then the reverse, if we are out across the farm I may let him tear off ahead but the terriers are on leads so they can’t chase.
So there are other things they do differently.
🤷‍♀️ not something I really thought of!
Poor Basil has dinner in the downstairs loo!

JMB, I think you’re right in that it comes down to trust, and that differs with ours in relation to the situation.
 

twiggy2

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We have one dog in the house, the working dogs start in the house as pups then go out to a kennel.
House dog comes to say good morning when I am in bed and other half goes down to put the kettle on, she is also allowed in the kitchen sofa (it's like a big dog bed to be honest) the collies are not allowed anywhere other than the kitchen and are certainly not allowed on any furniture. The collies so etines come in the house one at a time or if they are unwell, they are crated if they are in overnight the house dog isn't.
It doesn't seem to cause an issue to be honest.
 

SDMabel

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Terrier sleeps in a crate at night as it does a dirty protest or beheads all of the toddlers toys.

Labrador has free-range of downstairs and naps on the sofa because she doesn't do any of the above behaviours.

It's just their routine, i agree that I do not think dogs are self aware enough to look at their buddy and think gosh i was i could do that.

I mean if that was the case, id like to think the terrior would stop her beheading and kitchen defecating sprees.
 

skinnydipper

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In the car (I have a dog mobile/ little van!) the dogs all pile in the back… except Cecil, because he came everywhere with me from tiny, before I got the van and I had no dog friendly boot so he always went on the front seat and it’s a habit that’s stuck. First in a crate and now he has a car harness and is belted in.

Do you have a passenger airbag? If you do, turn it off.
 

Squeak

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I think if you have one who is a house dog and others are working dogs/ kept outside then that is a different thing but if they were all pets living in doors then I would treat them the same. I also think they would realise but at the same time if it's not causing any issues for your dogs and it works for you then that is fine.
 

Clodagh

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Ours all have different rules and are fine. And you know what, they are dogs and the occasional mild inconvenience won’t kill them.
Tawny sleeps upstairs and on the furniture.
Pen and Ffee are allowed on the sofa if Tawny doesn’t want to and sleep in the house.
Scout lives in a kennel and comes in for the evenings.
Red lives outside all the time.
They don’t sulk or suffer. Or if they do it’s in silence. 😄
 

Clodagh

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Treated the same. They absolutely do realise.
How do you tell that they have realised?
Without starting another furbaby discussion… they are dogs!
I do things to the extent that when T has her ears cleaned everyone gets a biscuit. I try to do special walks with different ones so they all get down time with me. But Ffee never complains at night when T goes upstairs, she just takes her chew to her bed. They like routine.
 

poiuytrewq

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The things that Mr P has pointed out, they are not really any different to the things he accepts (and everyone would) without question.
When I shower Cecil comes up, the others stay downstairs in the kitchen or living room if anyone else Is home. I could make him stay down with them. It wouldn’t matter really, but it wouldn’t make the others happier.
When they eat together but with Basil in the toilet, it’s the same thing really. Im singling one out- no one bats an eye at that yes there’s more of a reason for it but it’s putting one dog in a room away from the others.
I often take one or two walking but not others, sometimes my mum will walk the little ones because she can handle them easily on leads.
On Friday Spud will be out with the shoot all day.
 

meleeka

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When we had the JRT she slept on the bed but the German Shepherd wasn’t allowed. The JRT had the run of the house and the GS was confined to the lounge. It wasn’t favouritism, but necessity. There physically wasn’t room on the bed and the JRT had always slept there. I wouldn’t leave them together when I went out as I worried the JRT would start something she couldn’t finish with the GS (she was a total princess!). I don’t think the GS minded as the JRT was there first and was the boss anyway.
 

poiuytrewq

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When we had the JRT she slept on the bed but the German Shepherd wasn’t allowed. The JRT had the run of the house and the GS was confined to the lounge. It wasn’t favouritism, but necessity. There physically wasn’t room on the bed and the JRT had always slept there. I wouldn’t leave them together when I went out as I worried the JRT would start something she couldn’t finish with the GS (she was a total princess!). I don’t think the GS minded as the JRT was there first and was the boss anyway.

That’s much the reason Basil eats in the toilet. He’s doesn’t really get the everyone has their own dinner to eat prefers to hassle the others then get snarly when they finish and head to his still full bowl. It’s safer for him.
 

Jenko109

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Yup. Mine are treated differently.

The whippet sleeps on our bed. The other two are not allowed in the bedroom overnight.

Everyone is very accepting and knows where their bed is. They don't need to be asked. They will take themselves off to their beds in the evening.

Walk routines are often different. The collie gets to go agility training while the others stay home.

And walks in the day time are usually split, with the two sighthounds on one walk and the collie on a separate one. Nobody kicks off when they're left behind. They just know that it isnt always their turn.

If we happen to go out in the van, the whippet is usually strapped in up front. The other two are in the back. Purely because the whippet is a bit of a nervous traveller in the van and would be unnerved being in the back in the dark without soft furnishings to lay on.

I don't believe any of them cry themselves to sleep at night.
 

MurphysMinder

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My little ones are allowed on the furniture, the GSDs never have been. Little ones come upstairs, GSDs don't . This has been in place through 2 or 3 different dogs and none of the GSDs have ever shown any inclination to either get on the furniture or go upstairs, I don't think they go round sulking that it's unfair, just accept different boundaries.
 

DabDab

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Yes I treat all mine differently because with two now in advancing years, they have different needs. For example - Dee doesn't accept being left in a different room in the house to me anymore unless she is in her crate. So she potters around while the others are sometimes blocked from going in one place or another, and she comes upstairs at night to sleep by the bed where the others are left downstairs. Meanwhile Phoebe is taken places while the others are left behind as it would physically be too much for them etc.

Yes I think they do notice, but I don't think they sulk or feel hard done by for it. They all seem to accept their individual set of rules and routines cheerfully enough.
 

FinnishLapphund

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I think it depends on both the owner, the dogs, and when, where, and how it's done. When I've had multiple dogs, I've tried to find a golden mean that works for me, and my bitches. Overall I try to have the same rule for everyone, but at the same time it's not 100% absolute, without allows a bit of customization.

Sort of like in @dottylottie 's example with her ponies, when I've walked on narrow roads, without pavement, together with multiple bitches, I've often had one bitch that I could allow to walk a little bit in front of me (on the lead), so there would be more room next to me for the other bitches. The bitches I allowed to do that didn't act any different in that position, than when walking next to me, but I've also had bitches I would never regularly allow to walk in that position, because they would soon treat me like a weather vane/kite dangling in the other end of their lead.



To me that is not really an unfair treatment, without a combination of practicality, me deciding in which position I want so or so bitch to walk in, and also a simple consequence of recognising that this dog doesn't take the whole hand when I give them a little finger, but that other dog would take the whole hand so can't be given a little finger.

If Cecil have always had that spot in your car, before the other dogs, and/or the van came into your, and his lives, then maybe it could be viewed as an older dog's privilege?
Based purely on practicality, I think it's fully reasonable to temporarily treat an almost dry dog a bit different than a wet dog/dogs. No idea why Basil gets his feed bowl in the downstairs loo, but in general I don't see a problem with dogs having their own designated spot for their feed bowl.

I don't think dogs walk around/sit/lie contemplating things like exactly how fairly they're being treated in their everyday life, their own mortality, if it will snow tomorrow etc. I don't think not house dogs necessarily questions why they're only allowed indoors in certain rooms, at certain times, when house dog/dogs potentially are allowed everywhere.
However, all that said, I also think that having separate rules for different house dogs inside the same home, can potentially lead to problems between the dogs/situations the dogs doesn't understand.

E.g. I doubt that Bertie understands that he's not allowed to come upstairs unaccompanied when you take a shower because he's too boisterous, but that Cecil is allowed to do it because he just patiently waits outside the door. Besides, if Cecil is anyway just patiently waiting outside the door, why can't he wait patiently downstairs with Bertie/ the other dogs?

Either way, though I don't think it's something they're brooding over in their daily life, I do still believe that dogs can recognise when they're being treated unfairly compared to other dogs. Just like it have been shown in more than one study, even though e.g. this study https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.la...6175/dogs-wolves-they-re-treated-unfairly/amp noted that domesticated dogs was more tolerant to being treated unfairly than pack dogs, and wolves.
 
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poiuytrewq

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The car thing is because the van in a relatively new addition.
Previously I had a different job, a (coupe?!) type car so dogs can’t go in the boot and just Cecil came to work every day with me.
Spud went with Mr P and Basil stayed with my daughter.
Now I seem responsible for them all I could no longer put them in my car so got the van so use for work and walks.
So they have never had other places to sit whilst I’m driving as they never came with us.
It was more a case of now I have a van everyone can pile in but obviously not all in the same place.
Yes he could sit down stairs but he just never has, he’s always come with me everywhere pretty much. I don’t mind it, If I got my own way he would sleep with me, although I don’t think he’d want too! He likes his own bed too much!
 

MissTyc

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Mine can't be together overnight so one gets to cuddle in bed with us and the other sleeps on his own. Same dog every time as that makes it a rule that is easy to understand. Switching would be difficult and confusing, I imagine! Mind you, the dog who sleeps alone has enforced his own rule that the other dog must not get on the couch. He's never said it out loud as his glare is sufficient to make her curl up on the floor ... She doesn't seem to mind. It's just how it is
 

SadKen

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Yes, and that’s always been the case. Old man isn’t allowed upstairs or on long walks for his own good. Young dog gets on the furniture; old dog would have been allowed but never wanted to.

They eat different things at the same time. The old boy has a fortune spent in meds.

They get equal treats, equal time, equal cuddles, equal consideration on where we go to accommodate a fun time for the old dog and adequate exercise for the youngster. I’m not sure they would notice if one was getting less but ethically I would deem it unfair and so it doesn’t happen.
 

AShetlandBitMeOnce

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I don't think they would feel aggrieved by it, but I do think that in young dogs or ones erring on the rebellious side, it may encourage them to try and do things they are not allowed to as they see the other dogs doing it.
 

Christmascinnamoncookie

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Bear has much less food, despite crashing round the woods, he is far more prone to putting on weight than the youngsters. He’s rarely allowed on my knee due to being a clumsy oaf, whereas Goose is a permanent fixture.
 
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