One step forward and three steps back

FestiveFuzz

FestiveFuzz

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So it's turned out the confidence giving ponio is a tad greener and a damn sight spookier than initially thought, even so I've been persevering with her and we even managed our first canter in an open field and first hack alone last weekend :D

Cut to this weekend and it all seems to have gone a bit wrong :( I spent yesterday morning umming and ahhing over what to do with her as it was incredibly windy where we are. I'd just settled on schooling her when I spotted a rather smoky bonfire next to the paddock we use for schooling so that kinda ruled that idea out as I thought the wind and smoke may be a bit too much for spooky pone.

So I decided to put my brave pants on and hack her out instead. Looking back I really wish I hadn't ridden out as right from the start I assumed she'd be extra spooky because of the weather and looking back I think this made both of us more tense.

As we were leaving the yard one of the liveries stopped us to warn us about some tarpaulin that was hiding in one of the gateways and scaring all the horses which made me stress more but I figured we should just get on with it. And for the first half of the hack that's what we did. She was spookier than usual but nothing I couldn't handle and I actually began to wonder why I had gotten so stressed about hacking out.

Unfortunately to get back to the yard we had to turn on to a narrow lane with high grassy hedgerows either side and fields behind them. The wind was really whipping round us at this point and I could feel her getting really tense. Being a short backed 14.2 when she tenses up she practically disappears from beneath me and felt like a coiled spring.

I kept half halting her to keep her listening to me but then a yappy little dog came tearing across the field towards us and she did the typical pony jump and step sideways, I managed to sit to it but then she refused to walk on and just kept jogging sideways. Whenever I asked for a half halt she'd just jog on the spot, throwing her head about and doing little bunny hops and as embarrassed as I am to admit it, I decided to hop off and walk her the rest of the way home :(

I now just feel like a bit of a failure. A few years ago I'd have just kept my leg on and told her to get on with it but since the accident I just find myself panicking whenever I'm faced with a difficult situation.

I just don't know how to get my confidence back as every time I think I've got things sussed something like this happens :(

Sorry for the huge pity post. Cookies and milk for anyone who made it to the end.
 
It's very much a case of you live and learn.
Your confidence will come back. Go for a short hack out up the road and back when it isn't so gusty and build it up there.
Keep going, it's a long road to confidence but over time the things that would have knocked you for six soon stop being so bad and you get up and carry on quicker each time. Keep smiling :)
 
Thanks :) I guess I just thought I'd turned a corner after how well last weekend went so I was surprised at how quickly my confidence left me when things got difficult. I'm also annoyed as I'm convinced had I been more assertive with her she'd have calmed down. Instead when she looked to me for reassurance I just stressed :(
 
Don't beat yourself up over it. Just remember next time to give her a reminder you are in charge! Think positive, act positive, be positive :)
 
You are being very hard on yourself. Look at the positives.

You hacked her out on you own.
She didn't buck or tank off
And although you got off she's not to know that wasn't all part if your plan as you were still in charge of her. :)

She's still learning to deal with lots of things and if she was alone and it was windy then she really did very well and so did you. Next time will be easier for you both.
Well done :)
 
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HOPING OF AND LEADING :D:D
I do it all the time it is a way to give the horse more confidence without endangering you both . If you had kept your leg she would be even more nervous the next time you ride past there .

horses have their bad days like everyone else so don't lose heart give her a days break then start back where you feel confident , if you are tense and unsure then how can you except her to be :)

It is heard dealing with green/spooky horses but you will get there in the end :)
 
As regards the jumping off - I used to ride a young horse that would every so often think there were terrifying gremlins in a corner of the school. Sometimes it was naughtiness and excuses, sometimes he was genuinely scared of something. The times he was naughty a growl and leg would get him past, times he was scared he would dance sideways past them no matter what - unless there was a calmer horse he could follow round for a bit, or if you were alone, you jumped off and led him past a couple of times. After that he would be good as gold.

You aren't, in my mind at least, giving in by leaping off rather you are providing more security for your horse by putting yourself at the same level they are and showing them you are not scared of whatever it is that has them in a tizz. Added bonus, you are putting yourself in a marginally safer position if she does boil over. Of course you want to get to where that is not needed and you have confidence from both horse and rider to get through sticky situations. Until then focus on the positives - if you'd done that ride with someone else and had been leading throughout but dropped behind going down the scary lane, would you currently be beating yourself up about a disastrous ride? I don't think what happened was that different and I don't think your horse will think you gave up by getting off and leading her past things - you got her past them, therefor it was a success.

Chin up :D
 
It's a blip not a full u turn. Your confidence has improved or u wouldn't have even gone out in it. Now suck it up, be brave and move on. (from a fellow owner of a glass confidence) ;) it will be fine.
 
Something my mum who will sit on anything and everything told me and has always stuck with me is:

If you're not in the right frame of mind to go to battle, take with you your dignity and lead back. Otherwise risk falling flat on your arse in public, walking like a cowboy for a few days and loosing any confidence and trust you had.

:D


Don't get yourself in a tiz over it, you sat a bunny hop, you hacked out alone in the wind ! You met a yappy snappy dog and for the conditions pony didn't lose their head and go into a blind pannic !


Remember tomorrow is a new day, pony will have forgotten about your incident and so should you :)
 
Thanks folks! I'm definitely feeling a bit better about it today and honestly do think she was doing it out of fear rather than just testing me as even once I was walking beside her she was still visibly fretting about the monsters in the hedge. I guess I just get frustrated as a few years ago I'd have thought nothing of hacking out alone whatever the weather and would have just taken any spooking in my stride, but TrasaM is right, we're definitely making strides in the right direction :)
 
tessybear said:
Something my mum who will sit on anything and everything told me and has always stuck with me is:

If you're not in the right frame of mind to go to battle, take with you your dignity and lead back. Otherwise risk falling flat on your arse in public, walking like a cowboy for a few days and loosing any confidence and trust you had.

:D


Don't get yourself in a tiz over it, you sat a bunny hop, you hacked out alone in the wind ! You met a yappy snappy dog and for the conditions pony didn't lose their head and go into a blind pannic !


Remember tomorrow is a new day, pony will have forgotten about your incident and so should you :)
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Thanks Tessybear, your mum sounds very wise :) Will definitely bear this in mind in the future.
 
FfionWinnie said:
Can you not hack out with a sensible companion?
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We usually do, but she was away and no one else wanted to hack out because of how windy it was, which really should have told me everything I needed to know. Our usual hacking buddy is back at the weekend so we'll be going out with her again then :)
 
GG2B said:
Thanks Tessybear, your mum sounds very wise :) Will definitely bear this in mind in the future.
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You're more than welcome, she has lots of experience that has taught her this life lesson... nothing like getting a face full of dirt to lean not to do that again ;)
 
tessybear said:
You're more than welcome, she has lots of experience that has taught her this life lesson... nothing like getting a face full of dirt to lean not to do that again ;)
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Yeah that was kinda my theory at the weekend, as I'd rather have dented pride than have dented anything else. I just miss the days when I was fearless and nothing phased me.
 
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