Opinions on Castle's loan ad please

C

CastleMouse

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It's probably going to be up in local tack shops later this summer, and need your opinions on ways to improve it and if I should add/take out anything in it. I am adding 3 photos to the ad, a flatwork, conformation, and the hunter trial photo which is in my avatar and signature. I will not be asking for a financial contribution, what's important is that he will be at a nice home. A few people say I should ask for some sort of financial contribution, but we'd be happy enough if he goes to a nice home and they pay for his feed, shoeing etc. Opinions please??
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Here it is -

Castle is a 128cm (12.2hh) grey, Irish Sports Horse, and is 13 years old. He is a superb all rounder who has done SJAI, Dressage Ireland, all Pony Club activities, and has been placed at novice level hunter trials. He is also a great hunter and has hunted with the Galway Blazers and Ormond Foxhounds. He is 100% to box, shoe, clip, and catch, and is good with children. He is also 100% bombproof. For loan as he is very sadly outgrown, and current owner does not want him to go permenantly, as he is a very special pony.


Thank you
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he is never 12.2hh u must be tiny you dont look massive on him! nice ad! plain and simple are you seriuosly going to l;oan him to someone else but still pay for everything?
 
I'm a rather large 5ft 4
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He will be loaned out to someone, but all I will pay for is insurance and tack replacement if neccessary. They will pay for shoeing, feed, bedding etc.
 
Hi

I thinks its a good ad - as there is only so much you can say on paper - the proof is when you see future loaners in the flesh! Nice pony - bless. Maybe might put no timewaster and a few sentences about the type of loaner you want as he is a good type from what you say and every tom dick and harry will be ringing !!

You are right - you should only ask for a contribution if you are sharing/pert - if he is full loan then no contribution should be asked of as at the end of the day its not like he is in anyway going to be legally their pony.
 
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I think that's a great advert and I'm sure you'll have a lot of interest! Hope you find a great person for him!

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Thank you!
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no way are you 5ft 4! U must be very light or he is a very sturdy pony! Dont mean to be rude or anything! He looks like a very nice pony and im very sure there will be many knocking your door down for him!
 
He does look lovely . Sadly ,I'm not in Ireland & despite being 5'2'' , am rather heftily built ( on diet . )
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The only thing I would say , is get some sort of legal contract drawn up - but I hope you don't have to use it .
 
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Hi

I thinks its a good ad - as there is only so much you can say on paper - the proof is when you see future loaners in the flesh! Nice pony - bless. Maybe might put no timewaster and a few sentences about the type of loaner you want as he is a good type from what you say and every tom dick and harry will be ringing !!

You are right - you should only ask for a contribution if you are sharing/pert - if he is full loan then no contribution should be asked of as at the end of the day its not like he is in anyway going to be legally their pony.

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Thanks for clarifying that!
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Well I added in "good with children" as I'm targeting a youngish PC rider who hunts a bit as well
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He'll teach the ropes to anyone
 
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no way are you 5ft 4! U must be very light or he is a very sturdy pony! Dont mean to be rude or anything! He looks like a very nice pony and im very sure there will be many knocking your door down for him!

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Aw thanks
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Yeah, he is a bit of a cob type who'll take a few knocks!
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He does look lovely . Sadly ,I'm not in Ireland & despite being 5'2'' , am rather heftily built ( on diet . )
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The only thing I would say , is get some sort of legal contract drawn up - but I hope you don't have to use it .

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He happily carries me for a days hunting and I'm quite a heavy 5ft 4
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I have printed off the BHS sample loan agreement, and I will edit it to suit my needs, I wouldn't loan out without some contract to protect both parties
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He is so cute - Irish Sports Horse sounds very grand for a 12.2
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Thank you
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Oh yes it does indeed
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I wonder how it's possible though, it says it on his passport
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must remember to keep an eye out of you C;
We are always on the lookout for good sane ponies
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And I just love Castle!!!!

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Thanks a million!
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I'd like to keep him within an hour and a half from me preferably, just so we can do the odd spot check to see how he's getting on
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Good with children makes him sound like a dog! I would change it to something like - He would suit a pony clubber who wants to go hunting and have lots of fun. People might think its a bit strange that a 16? year old is riding 12.2hh. So make it clear if he can be ridden by a 7 year old coming of the lead rein or needs a stronger rider.

Hope you find a good home for him
 
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Oh we may be a bit far for you so
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Will keep an eye out though; word of mouth is a great thing!!!

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Hmmm... I'll see if we have any good responses from anyone within an hour and a half of us, and if not I'd be perfectly happy sending him a bit further if I knew it was a 5* home
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Good with children makes him sound like a dog! I would change it to something like - He would suit a pony clubber who wants to go hunting and have lots of fun. People might think its a bit strange that a 16? year old is riding 12.2hh. So make it clear if he can be ridden by a 7 year old coming of the lead rein or needs a stronger rider.

Hope you find a good home for him

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Whoops, I just know some horses tend to be a bit agrivated around children, but a child can try to pee Castle off and he wouldn't mind! You see he doesn't suit one specific type of rider, I've had a novice friend ride around on him and he was very soft with them, but I had an experienced friend ride him and he knew he had to spark up a bit!
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I'm sure he'll be a great pony for the right child, check your spelling of 'permAnEntly'.
 
sounds like a good advert - i would add something about the type of people you want ie: ideal first pony club pony etc

also maybe try to find someone through you local PC? that way you can ask about them from the DC etc and also follow his progress.
 
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