Opinions please - to quit with new horse?

[Celtic Fringe]

The turning point with my horse was when I took him away on an 'Intelligent Horsemanship' clinic for a weekend. We tried a 'join up', lots of work in-hand and a little ridden work. This really helped us bond and accept each other and when we got home he stood at the field gate with me rather than stomping off to join his herd. We moved yards shortly afterwards and he settled right away. He has made me cry and laugh in the years since then but this was a key point in our relationship. It isn't for everyone - one of my horses would be utterly mortified if I even tried to 'send him away' (as in a 'join up') but as other people have said a good instructor who can help with some in-hand work AND translate that into your ridden work so that everything is consistent and understandable for the horse might be a good idea. Good luck!

 

[HipoH]

At the end of the day do whatever makes you happy!
But for what its worth, you say the mare is now being good but you can't get over the previous experience when she wasn't, simple answer here is "let it go". Stop replaying the negative and actively seek out and dwell on the positive.

No horse is ever going to be perfect because they are half a ton of living breathing free will and if you're looking for the perfect horse then you are going to be disappointed. However people do find their perfect horse.... perfect for them but then someone else wouldn't give you tuppence for it. Perfect horses become perfect horses because those who they are perfect for work hard consciously and sub-consciously to make it that way.

Of all the horses I've ever bought (and bred) most of them I have disliked intensely at some point but then the following hour, day, week or month we've put it behind us and moved on. All this stuff about perfect partnerships is fine and dandy but its not an instant thing (well maybe for some) but for most of us the relationships we have with our horses are ever evolving as they change we change as we change they change. Its about the journey to achieve that place of being comfortable with each other, like a marriage. Whilst that first flush of hearts & flowers is lovely, if you get it, it tends to be short lived before someone blots their copy book. Most decent relationships are built on respect, trust, consistency and basically just being there for long enough!!

 

[horserider]

I know how you feel, because I had a bad fall on a pony i had full trust in. However recently i have regained my trust by spending time with him and looking at the positive times i have had with him. Horses are very tempermental and require lots of patience, so try to think of all of the positive aspects of the sport. It may take time to bond completely, but try easy exercises and see how she gets on. Lunging can be fun and reassuring if you are nervy. Hope it all goes well

 

[laura_nash]

My boy is the most sensible and easy cob generally, but when I first got him I had over a week of him being a bargy monster. He reared right up several times (in hand), barged through and across everything and everyone, attacked anyone who had anything edible in their hand and generally came off as a total monster. I've now had him nearly 7 years and he has never behaved like that again, not even when he moved here to Ireland and had to do an impromptu in-hand 1 mile trot when the lorry driver got lost. I know it is easier said than done but you really need to forget the initial bad behaviour and look at her now.

I would second what a lot of people have said about doing lots of groundwork, with a good teacher, or maybe an intelligent horsemanship RA if you don't know anyone, to help at first. You don't have to ride to achieve something positive together, if your just doing chores it can feel like you've become your horses servant - fine if you like having a horse as a pet but I know it gets me down. Once you are sure you are over the initial issues and have got to know your horse a bit more, then maybe look again at whether you have the right horse.