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russianhorse

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Morning :)

Right, previously I have mentioned taking on my friends 4yo cob that I have been riding for her. I have a soft spot for him, mainly because he is so safe on the roads, stands still when getting on, a pleasure to ride etc - described by someone who was going to buy him, as a true gent etc etc.

He's a little bargy, which I expect from such a baby so that's fine but when I spent a rare 1 on 1 time with him (as I want to get a proper feel for him before I commit to taking him on) he's almost dead behind the eyes

What made me originally have a soft spot for him was that he's been in several homes already, my friend hasn't warmed to him (she bought him for her young daughter 18 months ago) and was going to sell him to anyone because she can't afford the rent (although was offered a 17.2h horse she was planning on taking:/) and then sent him on loan (she was messing me about too) but he came back after 2 weeks for alledgely being too small :/

I gave him a brush, and he's quite headshy too (not an issue either really)

Trouble is I can't really bond properly with him as he's not on my land (although not far) so its going to be a bit of a pain until next year when there's a field free. He's also got awful dreadlock feathers with cuts under, which I'm going to have to see what I can do

If I take him on it'll be beginning of April, but I'm not sure what to do

So, with time will be be less dead behind the eyes? Is it because he's been shunted from one place to another so young? (he's like a little old man :( ). And will we strike up a bond do you think when I have him (I can't help but compare that he's not my Dizzy :/). If I take him it'll be a home for life only

Anyway, opinions please and thank you for reading :)
 
He probably needs to come out of his shell and be personalized after being shunted about so much so being in a one to one with him should sort out although it might take a bit of time. Certainly well worth taking the chance if he's so perfect in every way but don't let him walk over you just because you feel sorry for him; continuity, boundaries and attention are what he needs.
Poor boy, he sounds just what I'd be looking for so good luck with him and let us know how you get on. We will also need pics of course.
 
I would, if he is so perfect. Horses love stability and familiarity, so I would think things will grow between you. :)
 
Thank you :)

And yes, I don't like bargy horses so have been teaching a few manners :)

I suppose it also doesn't help that she has been in umpteen different fields and yards etc, and is currently looking to move again, after being where she is for 12 weeks :/

I'm hoping that we may bond and he'll be a cracking chap.....if he can bond :(
 
He probably needs to come out of his shell and be personalized after being shunted about so much so being in a one to one with him should sort out although it might take a bit of time. Certainly well worth taking the chance if he's so perfect in every way but don't let him walk over you just because you feel sorry for him; continuity, boundaries and attention are what he needs.
Poor boy, he sounds just what I'd be looking for so good luck with him and let us know how you get on. We will also need pics of course.

Totally agree.

Had this experience with my rescue dogs who were left in a kennel all day with no stimulation. Now they are different animals with huge personalities.
 
Poor boy, he sounds like he's dead behind the eyes, because he's been passed from pillar to post... In you it seems he could blossom and learn that he can love and be loved and that will bring the real him out of his shell. I think you should take him on and give him the home for life, he deserves :-) x
 
He sounds like he'll be perfect.
I got my tb when he was 4 and he was quite shut down, ( he'd been in a riding school which didnt' suit him ) and it took a few months for him to "open up" but now he has a huge personality.
Try not to compare him to another horse though, ( you say you keep thinking he isn't your Dizzy ) he will be his own character, and you will love him for that.
Kx
 
I bought my cob as a 4yo. I was his 4th owner, and for 12mths prior to buying him he'd been stuck in a field doing nothing. He was a bargy, unbroken baby.

A bit of one-to-one, plenty of time on the basics, and he's now fantastic. I've had comments off complete strangers as to how "in tune" we are, and how far he trusts me. The relationship can be built, it just takes time :)

In fact, I got in contact with a previous owner who came out to see him. First thing she said was: "...so he's not evil anymore?" :rolleyes:
 
He probably needs to come out of his shell and be personalized after being shunted about so much so being in a one to one with him should sort out although it might take a bit of time. Certainly well worth taking the chance if he's so perfect in every way but don't let him walk over you just because you feel sorry for him; continuity, boundaries and attention are what he needs.
Poor boy, he sounds just what I'd be looking for so good luck with him and let us know how you get on. We will also need pics of course.

This totally, very wise words.

He will come to in his own time, and with you handling him within set boundaries of fair and firm. I am in the same position at the moment and it is a rollercoaster of good days, bad days. The good days are getting more frequent now and the pleasure I get from watching my lad gain trust and try to learn is fabulous. My best tip would be to take things fairly slowly and look at the longer term. I set out with grand plans of how I would do things but it soon became obvious that the horse would set the pace, (mine was 11 months old when I had him in June 12). he had a lot of issues and I really have to think 'outside the box' with him.

Don't kid yourself that you can buy affection or good behaviour with treats, you can't and the horse will barge and bite. My horse loves the reward of being rubbed just under his forelock. Good luck it will be worth it.
 
I would take him. He is only 4 years old and has had lots of changes in his short life. No horse is perfect, the barging can be solved by ground work (monty roberts style) and he is young enough to learn.

You will build a bond with him, this takes time and the more time you spend together the easier it will come.

Sounds like you could have a friend for life there. Good luck:)
 
I don't really fully understand the 'bonding' thing. I like my horses, they know and trust me, but I wouldn't say that we are bonded.
 
Thank you for all your comments :).

Assuming friend doesn't p*ss me around again, I shall take on the little fella for his home for life

When I download some piccies I will endeavour to post them on here :D

Now to concentrate on his dreadlock feathers :D
 
I agree with the others that a connection will come with time.

My cob I got on loan from a rescue centre, born there after dam was rescued. I got him when he was 11 but he had been in a field with very little TLC and 1-to-1 attention for 3 years and passed around a bit before that. It took time to win his trust, but once I got him to a new place, started being his person and doing groundwork we started making progress.

Now, his character is wonderful, his manners are so much better and he is my horse of a lifetime.

Go for it.:D
 
I don't really fully understand the 'bonding' thing. I like my horses, they know and trust me, but I wouldn't say that we are bonded.

It is a comment open to interpretation really, but if you buy or breed a foal, raise it, break it, keep and ride it for it's entire life and then hold it's head at the end you will fully realise what is meant by a 'bond'.
 
AA - I have done (bought youngsters before, although they aren't dead yet) and I still just don't get it. In fact the more it's talked about on here, the less I get it. I am quite a soft owner, I really love my horses, but I like seeing them happy with their equine friends. I don't expect them to be best buddies with me, although they do like me (or at least their behaviour towards me makes me think that they do).
 
You answered your own question in many ways because the meaning has such a wide explanation. Bonding is probably the wrong word to use.

Some owners would describe it as a horse that calls to them and recognises the sound of their car arriving. Nick Skelton might say he and Big Star has a 'bond' because the horse trusts his rider and gives his all over 6' technical tracks.

May be the word 'understanding' is better.
 
Yes, I prefer understanding. Bonding makes me think of ducklings imprinting on the hens that hatched them (I've known quite a few people put duck eggs under hens).
 
My sister bought an 18 year old mare, who was pretty shut down. Entirely traffic proof and capable of the job we wanted her to do. Within 12 months of being with us, she had soft eyes and has two years on, become one of the most affectionate horses we have ever had (which incidentally take some doing :D ) If he is shut down at 4 I would think there is every chance he will come right with consistancy and care.
 
If you didn't know the owner and where looking at him as a norm buyer would then would he be what you want?

You are lucky to know hIm and be able to try him with nothing hidden.
Normally people dont get that chance.
 
I think "understanding" is a much better word. Not sure you need to have a horse from birth to death to get it though!

When you say "taking on/over" from a friend, does that mean she is gifting you it, or it is on loan? I would buy it if I were you, if you can, make sure its safely yours..
 
My youngster had had 4 previous homes in under 6 months when I got him..!!! He was very wary and untrusting...I got him in September and he is seriously like a different animal, totally all over you like a rash and more and more trusting as time goes on. Dont get me wrong, he can still be a bit jumpy and worried but he is amazing in comparison to when I got him. I think it takes time to build up that trust and let the personality shine out.
I feel honoured to have the relationship with him that I do now, he is full of personality..!! :D
 
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