Out of the mouth of bored husbands..

WelshD

WelshD

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My husband (reluctantly) has been watching Olympia showjumping with me for the last hour.

Here are some of his comments. I'd just like to point out that he was bored and isnt usually such an idiot. Please feel free to add your OH's horsey gems!

H: the horses are all brown, its boring
Me: well here is a grey
H: Grey is a shade of brown. They are all brown

Commentator: This rider has had a fantastic year, she spent most of it in France
H: Of course she had a fantastic year if she spent most of it in France.

H: Everyone is old in showjumping (random comment from nowhere)

Me: Who do you want to win
H: The one that had Maximillian. That horse looked like a horse

On seeing a chestnut with a blaze and socks..
H: that horse isnt all one colour. thats good for me

On hearing there was a tie for first place...
H: what happens if there is a tie, is it a rock, paper, scissor situation?
 
WelshD said:
Commentator: This rider has had a fantastic year, she spent most of it in France
H: Of course she had a fantastic year if she spent most of it in France.

On hearing there was a tie for first place...
H: what happens if there is a tie, is it a rock, paper, scissor situation?
Click to expand...

^^^^ my favourites
hahahaha :D:D
 
WelshD said:
Me: Who do you want to win
H: The one that had Maximillian. That horse looked like a horse
Click to expand...

My OH generally wants either Ellen or Charlotte to win. Regardless of what he's watching

WelshD said:
On seeing a chestnut with a blaze and socks..
H: that horse isnt all one colour. thats good for me
Click to expand...

EVERY horses with a blaze or stripe is greeted with a cry of "Look Look its WARHORSE!"


He also thinks the Puissance is too easy as "the horses watch their friends do it and get complacent. If it was REAL bricks then they'd make more of an effort"
 
Oh my oh is convinced of the fact that grey horses never do any good. So whenever a grey has faults I'm met with a smug 'told you so' look.
Also on unique ix, that horse jumps likea kangaroo.

Hey at least they let us watch and entertain us :P xxx
 
My oh likes to have little wagers on who is going to go clear, he also says brown horses are boring and asks why I have two, and cant we get a different colour one next time.
 
Bahahaha - the Puissance one and OP's could have come straight out of my OH's mouth, too :D did just try to show him but MOTD2 is on (what has happened to Alan Shearer's facial hair? Blimey).
 
My OH shouts 'come on piggy nose! That fella looks like tubbs off the league of gentlemen' whenever Robert Whitaker is jumping. Rude.

Having said that, he surprised me by commenting on Roger Yves Bost's style by asking me why he was 'flapping about so much. Ah. It makes his horse go faster. Why don't they all do that as it works quite well. That man isn't jiggling enough'. That man in this case was Pius Schwizer.

TV should do alternative commentary by a couple of husbands, it'd be hilarious.
 
Warning RANT!!

Damn it I've missed the coverage. It has happened for too long now.

I can remember watching Olympia live on 'normal' TV, the highlight being the jump-off and also the Shetland Grand National before it - Olympia made Christmas for me as a girl - 'aint' it about time Equestrian sports came back to 'normal' TV?

Why the heck should we put up with football - which the UK is not so great at - when we are world class on Horseback?????

Anyone for a petition??

Rant Over....

P.S.

Husband doesn't get it either, he's motorbikes, i'm horses, but we're both pee'd that our sports don't get air -time even though we win at them :)
 
Mine was musing that the horses looked uncomfortable going over the jumps so high.

He then followed up with a comment about the London Bus looking like it was made of lego and a complaint about all the horses being the same colour.

Oh well, at least he's taking an interest!
 
At the start of tonight's conversation, was OH trying to find something to watch, to which I reminded him that Olympia was on BBC red button, cue sulk, and a desperate attempt to find something he could'nt possibly miss, then I made him watch it, until the interval, when he proclaimed he was turning over as it had finished. Noo I said there was a show jumping competition after that, his words " Right I'm going to bed, I'm not watching any more of this ****!.
 
I asked mine if he knew what a red ribbon in the tail meant... He said it was because its Christmas!! Have to say I have enjoyed his alternative commentary!
 
This is good! My OH is non-horsey, but surprisingly takes in what he watches and what I tell him.

We often watch H&C TV, and every now and then he says stuff like "that horse has too much bend in the neck" (dressage) or "I'm not surprised that horse knocked a fence down, look how flat that approach was" (SJ).

I guess I am quite lucky in that he shows an interest, but then on the other hand, I cannot pull the wool over his eyes about how much horses cost to keep!!
 
:D Brilliant! My OH knew nothing about horses when we met, but is now pro and is nearly as knowledgable as me! :o However, when he was still quite clueless and we were watching HOYS on tv, he came up with this cracker:
Commentator "And this is a French bred horse"
OH: "What?! He's made out of bread?!"
 
Mine looked at the TV listings early in the evening and said "Well there is s*d all on the telly tonight" - JUST as I was noting a friend's update on FB alerting us all to it being on the red button so I turned and said "Brilliant! We've got no reason to not watch Olympia all evening then...." and promptly tuned in :p (He didn't mind really.....)
 
Bless him... its a great start! well done for getting him in front of the telly... i was watching the FEI Championship showjumping on telly held in Dubai last night and have very similar comments such as...

Can it jump with its eyes closed?

Can your horse jump that high?

They are well Shiny arnt they. why isnt your horse that shiny?
 
My OH compares them to my horses as well

Comments like

"why don't you do that?, are your neds not clever enough?"
"how much is it worth? Why aren't yours worth that?"
"your nag is brown, he must be able to do that?"
"are ALL those men gay?"
"those jumps aren't very big are they, I could do that"

"not very good are they, if they glued the poles on then they wouldn't fall down"

"why is it sweating, it's only been jumping for 2 minutes, they should get a fitter horse"
 
guido16 said:
My OH compares them to my horses as well

Comments like

"why don't you do that?, are your neds not clever enough?"
"how much is it worth? Why aren't yours worth that?"
"your nag is brown, he must be able to do that?"
"are ALL those men gay?"
"those jumps aren't very big are they, I could do that"

"not very good are they, if they glued the poles on then they wouldn't fall down"

"why is it sweating, it's only been jumping for 2 minutes, they should get a fitter horse"
Click to expand...

CLASSIC!
 
Lol Guido16 my OH says things like that. I said yesterday that I'd be chuffed to bits if my lad went over the lowest pole of one of the jumps, and he said 'that's rubbish, I could jump that myself, so why do you spend all that money on a horse when he can't jump as high as I can?'. I think I'll go round a course on him one day and see if he changes his mind.
 
Ha ha some brilliant ones here, glad my husband isnt the only one who makes idiotic comments!

We have a rule in our house that if the other ones arrives home in the middle of a programme they can't make you switch it off so he was pretty much stuck with it

I do think he is coming round to the whole horse thing though as when we were watching the finale he was making comments about our ponies like 'Oooh Oscar would hate all those clowns'

Maybe he will make a horsey husband yet.

Not sure how he knows that one of the ponies has an irrational fear of clowns but I think I'll quit while I'm ahead!
 
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