Outgrowing (not physically) your horse...

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trickivicki

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Hi All,

I love P don't get me wrong but I am beginning to think our partnership may soon draw to a close.

12months ago I bought him a very sweet natured 5yo, my sole aim was to be able to wander around the lanes freely (after more than my fair share of naughty nappy horses my confidence was at an all time low!). Well, he has done a little more than that and as my confidence grew so did my ambitions.

Walks round the lane turned into trot work, which turned into fast work, which turned into fun rides which some how turned into bits and bobs of dressage and schooling and jumping (which he does very sweetly and steadily in his own way with not a word of complaint).

However, I dont see him ever being anything more than a very very sweet first horse (although he wasn't my first I needed that feeling) and he has built me up to the point where I want to go and do a bit more!

Now don't get me wrong there is nothing physically stopping P from going and doing but he just doesn't feel like a 'go-er' just a nice steady pop round and I think I want something with a little more fire in their belly.

Also, if I do decide its to time trade up- do you think there would be a market for this kind of beasty?

Is this strange???

V x
 
Of course there would be a market. Someone who wants a confidence-building first horse - just like you did...

Have you had any lessons on him? He's only young, so there could be potential for improvement. Many horses get more spirited once they hit 6, and are not quite the plods that they were at 4-5yrs. If not, then there is nothing wrong with passing him onto a new loving owner and finding something more suited to you.
 
Hi,

We have a lesson most weeks and try and keep his work varied and he is always very willing and sweet.

He just never seems to get the 'let me at 'em' feeling!

V x
 
Sounds like he's done a fantastic job with you, and can go on to do that job again (and maybe again and again!) with someone else who will love him for who he is. He's the grown ups version of the perfect first pony!
 
Thank You!

My friends seem to think I am loopy for thinking it (he isn't called Perfect P for nothing, my YO says every yard needs one as he is a saint for babysitting naughty/ nervous horse without a second of complaint! Poor boy gets clambered all over, reversed into, ran away from, has to wait for ages while other horses have tantrums, have to go back and forth past the scary bits on hacks to persuade others to go past, has to do all of the gates!)

Maybe I am loopy?!?!?!
 
Think very, very carefully before you decide to sell such a gem of a horse. He'll be snapped up if you do decide to sell.
 
he'd be definatley something I would want yes... although experienced I had my confidence shattered by a nasty hacking accident so want something safe to help rebuild this.
He sounds like he has done well with you and should you want to further your riding and you feel you won't be able to do this with him then maybe you should think about letting him go onto doing the same but with someone else??.
 
He sounds like an absolute star!

Think very, very carefully before you sell him! I have a lovely little Welshie, who I take out competing quite a bit, including a bash at a BE80(T) the other weekend. I look at other people on their smart fancy TB's and warmbloods, and feel quite inadequate on my oversized pony........

Then I watch their horses doing handstands in the dressage, getting a cricket score in the SJ and refusing to leave the start box on the XC, and then taking hours to load at the end of the day......

And then I think, I love my little cob, and I wouldn't swap him for the world. Sure, he's never going to go round Badminton, but for the level I am ever going to realistically compete at due to money/time/rider ability he can give anyone a run for their money. He's well behaved and quiet enough that I can take him to competitions alone without worrying. He'll stand in the lorry for hours with a haynet and doesn't get stupid if it's windy/raining/the 2nd tuesday in the month. And we came 4th out of 42 in our section at that event!

Just beware that upgrading doesn't take all the pleasure out of the things you upgraded to do! It's no fun competing a horse with bags of potential that can't ever quite pull it off on the day. Also try a change of instructor, it's amazing what a different insight can produce from a horse.
 
If I were you I would very reluctant to sell. I had a horse like this a few years ago, he had a bit more 'go' but very sweet and safe. When I decided to move my riding on I found something that sounded like just what I needed but once I had had her for a month or so and sold my 'donkey' I realised that I made a mistake. I was so used to having complete trust in my horse and not having to worry about them being silly with me I soon became spooked my my new, more lively horse. It has taken me a lot of time and support from instructors and friends to get back to the level I was. I have since found a happy medium with my new cob, not flashy but does the job very well indeed :)
Just someting to think about x
 
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Ditto everything the others have said about other instructors etc etc, and that if it's what you want to do of course there'll be a market for a horse like that etc.

However I do just want to echo the think very carefully advice. I knew a woman who sold a 'everybody should have a horse like X in their life' horse, utter saint of a horse even as a bubba, and he was the only horse she ever regretted selling. He's still in the home she sold him to etc and very much loved, so that doesn't enter into it - bur he really was one in a million for all the reasons you described yours, maybe not the most talented but turned his hoof to anything anybody ever asked of him with good grace and was (is) safe as houses.
 
I too would echo the think carefully crew. Such wonders are very hard to find and you might be better to try to work him into what you want rather than risking shattering your now found confidence with something different
 
Don't tink you're mad at all as I have been through exactly the same with my little man. I got him when we were both very young and I outgrew him (as you have, not physically) after few years and wanted something a bit more quirky and challenging....I did put him on the market to sell and he was snapped up instantly, at which point I called the sale off.....I couldn't be without him. I now am lucky enough to have another horse who is a lot more quirky and challenging who suits me to a T but I will never ever sell my little lad as he is 100000% and I love him dearly.

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone who is telling you to think very very carefully about this as you may well regret your decision if you do sell. What about the possible option of loaning or sharing or would you need the funds from selling him in order to purchase another horse?

I hope whatever you decide is right for you, there is no shame in selling him on to another person who will get out of him exactly what you have but all I'm saying is, truly consider all options before you make any decisions.
 
If you have had confidence issues in the past, it may be very hard to find another horse that has more 'go' but won't scare you silly. Is there any way you could afford to have 2 for a while, a new one to see if you are ready to change, and this boy who seems like an absolute gem? If you have to sell him first you may take a long time to find a new one - by which time you confidence may be gone again. Its a really vicious circle. If you do sell him I don't think you will have a any problems :)
 
He sounds like a saint and if you do decide to part with him I'm sure he'll find a fantastic home very quickly.

I'm not a brilliant rider although, when I was younger I would ride anything. However, in the last few years I've had a couple of instances with my mare which have knocked my confidence. I don't want to part with her because she's never changed - it's me who's changed. She's not naughty at all although she is sharp and always as been.

I wouldn't want a complete plod although a sane and sensible horse that could do a bit of everything without being sharp would be my 'dream' horse.
 
i would super charge your trusty stead, and see where you get to. book a few more lessons, raise your game, raise his food and see where you are at!
 
Or why not send him to a pro for some flatwork and jumping training? And up his feed to give him a bit more get up and go.
 
LOL, I was thinking, as I read this thread, that if you want 'fire in his belly', then give him some oats.

Look at all the adverts for the perfect horse. Lots of people want, what you have. be very careful what you decide.
Is this a case of 'the grass is always greener on the other side'?

Personally, I would try a different trainer, and play with his feed a bit to see if the embers of the fire are there - they just might need fanning a bit. :D

Lots of luck with what you decide.
 
trickivicki said:
Hi,

We have a lesson most weeks and try and keep his work varied and he is always very willing and sweet.

He just never seems to get the 'let me at 'em' feeling!

V x
Click to expand...

Don't throw out the baby with the bath water, he is a gem. At his age the fitter he gets the more ooomph he will develope which you can increase with a feed designed to give more get up & go. Because he has given you confidence doesn't mean that your next (lively) horse might not badly dent it. Be careful what you wish for , you may get it.
 
I have been through a confidence crisis myself so know how you feel!
I would reiterate what others have said, I think you may regret it if you do sell. As others have said if you really up the fitness and feeding your quiet horse may surprise you. You should be able to find some schooling exercises that hot him up more than others.
However it is totally your decision and so if you do decide to move on my advice would be to get a share or short term loan or regular ride on a sharper horse and see how you get on before you take the plunge and sell.
 
Thank You to all who have responded.

I think I will carry on as I am for another a month and send Dad out today to get something supercharged (was thinking competition mix?) and see what happens.

It is a such a strange (but sort of lovely) situation to be in!

(I mentioned this to PJ this morning, he is disappointed with the outcome he thought he was finally getting rid of me!)

V x
 
I would definitley see if you can get more out of him, I was always a confident get on anything rider. Had years of fun on my flight TBx but knew she would never be a superstar, she became unsound so I went out and bought a 4year old just backed warm blood, oh dear, did she challenge me, I spent most of my time hitting the deck!! She dented my confidence BIG TIME, 3 years on I still have her, I am not riding her but working with a classical trainer schooling from the ground up and for the 1st time in 3 years I am starting to see a horse that I feel I can ride, and when its time for me to get back on board it will be very much taking it slowly, for both of us. I must say though, that horse has taught me so much and I will never sell her for that reason, but its been a hard slog and lots of stress, sleepless nights and money- so think very carefully, if you can afford 2 keep your safe boy to have safe fun on and buy a more challenging one for the challenge- I still have my TBx :D
 
I think you would be mad to sell him. Especially as he keeps learning and growing and getting better and better as you do.

What if you get something that gets excited everytime you see a fence, and throws in the occasional bucking spree when you canter on a hack etc. Then your confidence will be right back at the bottom and you'll be wishing you had your little superstar back.

There is always something to work on and you can grow as a team, such as faster jump offs, or harder dressage tests etc. Maybe some XC, Jumpcross, Sponsored rides, endurance, there plenty of things you can do, and have fun and keep your confidence up where it should be.

I think the longer you have him, you'll realise the times when he is excited and that he does want to get up and go, but he just doesn't show it in a way of being fizzy or naughty or fast.

My boy is exactly the same, I always wanted him to almost realise there was a jump, and go for it, and feel like he was really going for it, but thats just no his style.

He gets excited, but its a quiet excitement, and you know he is excited when he is listenning to me, and working well and enjoying himself. x x x
 
OP feeding wise yes you could try comp mix, racehorse cubes or oats. I would say the fitter you can get him the better!
 
It sounds like he's perfect! It may seem like "progression" is the natural thing to do but I really regretted moving on to "better" horses when I was at school. I had a fab relationship with a pony but as I got more skilled my instructors moved me on to bigger horses that could do more exciting things. And it was fun and quite rewarding seeing myself doing xcountry or fancier dressage but it was never the same and although Nell was naughty I trusted her completely and that was worth so much more than progression IMHO. :)
 
Im echoing the be very careful about letting a horse go like this... I did and I regret it massivley! You might be confident now but what if the new horse isnt such a saint, how easy would it be to get you back to that place where you only want to walk around roads again as you are too terrified to do anything else? Trust me I am still getting through this stage after selling my saint and buying my horse described as a saint but way too much for me (when I first bought him - wont bore you with the story!). I wish someone had given me the advice to keep him - everyone around me said to sell as I had outgrown his ability but I wish I had my safe boy back again :(.
 
Rubysmum that was EXACTLY what i was just thinking as i was reading down, glad to hear you've thought of that V, there's nothing quite like it for getting a young horse going forwards over fences. Only 12 weeks to go til cubbing starts again :)
 
I have a horse exactly like yours sounds!
She is my horse of a lifetime. My confidence was rock bottom when i got her after an awful time with my previous horse.
She has taken me from being sick with nerves before a lesson to absolutely loving everything that we do. She is a TB x WB who evented she is not a plod but she is so so gentle and genuine its unreal. We are now even talking about local shows, little showjumping competitions when before i was happy to hack, potter etc.
Through an old injury she will probably be limited to 2ft 6 2ft 9 sort of size which is fine by me (although she does have a HUGE jump but im not going to push her!)
The more we do, the more i want to do BUT only because its with her! i have complete trust in her and its amazing. She may have her limitations...but i would never find another horse that looks after you like she does.

in a very long and round about way....what im trying to say is that are you only wanting to do more because you have the perfect horse for you now? be very very sure you want to move on before parting with the perfect horse!
 
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