Over sensitive and argumentative - WWYD

OP, I'd be sending her on her way if this is a regular occurrence.

I dont often have liveries in my yard, but currently have 1 with 2 ponies (tho is a v old school friend of mine) who came in mid May - they are just with me till the clocks change in October, so I get my yard back for winter, nobody else creating muddy messes :D

I think short term contact liveries are the way to go if you have to take in lodgers, then you are able to pick & choose :)
 
A yard owner told me the other day that he had to chuck someone off who had ruined the yard by not listening to his requests. Eventually, after the livery's continued disrespect of his requests, he told her that he wanted her to leave as he didn't like her. Harsh, but he wanted her gone so bad and he was concerned that if he'd pointed out all the things he'd asked her to remedy she would have promised to put them right and by that point he couldn't stand the sight of her. You can't really argue with his point can you? Maybe this is the way to go here.
 
Thanks everyone - I told her this morning that I didn't expect anyone to speak to me like that on my own property and if she does it again she will be out. She sulked until she left!
 
If she's still sulking tomorrow (I'd lay money on it) I'd be inclined to give her notice. She really doesn't sound worth the hassle.
 
JillA said:
Thanks everyone - I told her this morning that I didn't expect anyone to speak to me like that on my own property and if she does it again she will be out. She sulked until she left!
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well done JillA, its hard sometimes to respond to folk who put your back against the wall, isn't it?
I hate confrontation, but equally detest rude people. :(
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
well done JillA, its hard sometimes to respond to folk who put your back against the wall, isn't it?
I hate confrontation, but equally detest rude people. :(
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Thank you - I hate confrontation too which is why I told her quietly and without any animosity. Had to be done though because these things fester and next time (and there will be a next time unless I nip it in the bud) it will make me so angry. Ball is in her court now, and I doubt she wants to leave, her mare came as a real stress head needing hat and gloves to lead her out to the field and is now a chilled old donkey.
 
I only have one livery at home like you and that would do my head in, I too can't be treading on egg shells round people all the time especially in your own yard, if she is still in a sulk tomorrow I would tell her to go and tell her exactly why you want her to leave, I am very lucky in that I get on very well with my livery we have a bit of a laugh and it just works, but I couldn't have some shouting sulky madam round me everyday she would have to go.
 
Good posts Arzada and I also agree with this
ChesnutsRoasting said:
Is she your only livery? If not, then you need to highlight any issues with all the liveries, so as to avoid the 'why pick on me scenario' & the defensive response. In response to some replies - Yes, it is your yard & your rules etc etc, but you are being paid to provide a service & she is a client. If liveries are more hassle than they're worth, why do it?
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She may be over reacting, and yes it may be your yard, but I don't agree with those that say, it doesn't matter if she is upset because it's your yard.

She is a livery. I assume she is paying you for a service. She is a human being and therefore deserves some respect, as do you. One of the really annoying things about the horse world is the way some people seem to think common decency, manners and customer service don't have to be extended to others.

Maybe its worth sitting down over a cup of tea and just chatting about why she was so frustrated, asking her if she does feel picked on and why. Equally it gives you the chance to have your say in a civilised way and perhaps mend some bridges. If at the end of that you are poles apart, then you can agree to part ways in a more pleasant fashion.
 
Starbuck said:
Good posts Arzada and I also agree with this.

She may be over reacting, and yes it may be your yard, but I don't agree with those that say, it doesn't matter if she is upset because it's your yard.

She is a livery. I assume she is paying you for a service. She is a human being and therefore deserves some respect, as do you. One of the really annoying things about the horse world is the way some people seem to think common decency, manners and customer service don't have to be extended to others.

Maybe its worth sitting down over a cup of tea and just chatting about why she was so frustrated, asking her if she does feel picked on and why. Equally it gives you the chance to have your say in a civilised way and perhaps mend some bridges. If at the end of that you are poles apart, then you can agree to part ways in a more pleasant fashion.
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What Starbucks says, completely, I don't understand as to why a 'grown up' conversation hasn't taken place before now! If you talk it through and still feel it's not working then of course give her notice, but it could all be sorted by a simple chat over a brew and a couple of biscuits.
 
Tobiano said:
well done Jill! Hope this sorts her out for the future. YOu should give yourself a congratulatory glass of wine tonight :)
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Why so mean? Someone's unhappiness is absolutely nothing to celebrate. We don't know people's circumstances so cut some slack and consider that they are probably doing the best they can at the time. Her behaviour falls short but there has to be some reason for this. JillA has acknowledged on here that the livery tries to get it right. I hope that as well as telling livery that the outburst wasn't acceptable and the consequence of a repeat performance that she found something positive to say.

Livery is deemed to be sulking. Or is she just being quiet and subdued and keeping her head down? How would you react in all of this - it's hardly something to be upbeat about.
 
I expect she is keeping her head down .
I would still get rid , no way would I have one overdramatic drama queen spoiling my yard .
 
Arzada said:
Why so mean? Someone's unhappiness is absolutely nothing to celebrate. We don't know people's circumstances so cut some slack and consider that they are probably doing the best they can at the time. Her behaviour falls short but there has to be some reason for this. JillA has acknowledged on here that the livery tries to get it right. I hope that as well as telling livery that the outburst wasn't acceptable and the consequence of a repeat performance that she found something positive to say.


Livery is deemed to be sulking. Or is she just being quiet and subdued and keeping her head down? How would you react in all of this - it's hardly something to be upbeat about.
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Whoa! I was congratulating JillA on having the guts to have the conversation this lady who makes her feel uncomfortable. Perhaps the term 'sorts her out' was not particularly tactful but I don't apologise for sympathising with JillA when a livery who is a (albeit paying) guest on her property behaves in the way she has described and makes JillA feel uncomfortable on her own property. In giving the livery a warning about her behaviour JillA has not done anything mean so I don't see why approving her action is mean either!
 
See this is why i worry about private yards, too intense and personal! Hope you and your livery manage to get to a good place!
 
My advice is don't get another livery, you don't sound like you enjoy sharing your yard and you need your own space to reduce your irritation. I'd pay just to keep liveries away from my yard if I had to.
 
Achinghips said:
My advice is don't get another livery, you don't sound like you enjoy sharing your yard and you need your own space to reduce your irritation. I'd pay just to keep liveries away from my yard if I had to.
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I have had liveries who remain friends to this day, (mostly moved on to rent land of their own) but she wasn't your average horse owner lol
 
Achinghips said:
My advice is don't get another livery, you don't sound like you enjoy sharing your yard and you need your own space to reduce your irritation. I'd pay just to keep liveries away from my yard if I had to.
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I don't think having one irritating livery makes her an unsuitable person to have liveries in general. I've just seen the back of one who drove me nuts, and I can't tell you how good I felt when the lorry left the yard (Well - I felt good until she launched a campaign designed to completely destroy my reputation on Facebook because I hadn't returned her deposit 3 days later!!)
I have three other liveries who I get on great with - and I really enjoy their company when they come to see their horses.
 
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