Over thinking things?

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Ilovefoals

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Does anyone else do this and is it a bad thing?

For example, I have had my new boy since mid may. He's only 4 and wasn't broken long and although very genuine, I'd say he lacks in confidence. We are gradually growing as a partnership but he's had 8wks off with foot balance/abscess issues so we are not truely trusting of each other yet. He can get nappy around other horses and due to his greeness, he's a bit stressy in situations such as an unfamiliar indoor school, or when a horse leaves where we are riding etc etc.

I have joined a riding club with the aim of getting him out and about a bit more but I'm finding I'm over thinking things. The first club night I can go to is at an indoor he's never been to and there will be 4 of us in the group. I am predicting mega stress from him (and probably from me if the truth be told). I was planning to hire the indoor myself the week before the club night and take him down there with plenty of time to lunge etc first and let him see the lay of the land. Some friends say yes, good idea, some say, stop being a wuss. Just take him on the night and get on with it. Am I being too wary?

What approach would you take to introducing a green 4yr old to new things? Do you just go and get on with it? Help!
 
I wouldn't worry, you sound like you're being sensible.

My friend always tells me off for over thinking with my youngster.

Okay, I don't get on thinking they might chuck me off or show abnormal behaviour... But I do think carefully what the aim is in that session and how am I going to introduce new things whilst staying safe and avoid any risks.

My 5 year old wasn't backed till 4. Everything is still very slowly introduced in small quantities as he can be a little nervous and I like to feel confident his happy in what we're doing. If not, we go back a step as I whittle about what silly mistake I've made. But don't forget we all do make mistakes!!! It's how we rectify them that's important. Good luck and I'm sure you will be fine.
 
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That's it LR. I don't worry uneccessarily I don't think but I do try to be sensible. He's a green 4yr old I've only had a few months and like you, I want him to be confident. But some people seem to think the more I try to prepare, the more I'll be stressed about it. I don't see it that way. Glad you both agree :)
 
Thay are all different aren't they, 4 year olds? Some more mature better than others. It sounds as though you and him are still having a bit of a trust issue, in which case I'd hire the school for you both and go and have a quiet play. Keep it nice and low key, don't even worry about lunging, just have a mooch around with him on the lead rein, be relaxed yourself and show him there's nothing to worry about.
 
I think the crucial thing is...if it helps you to relax and be calm to do something like hire the school the week before...then he will benefit from it as you will have dealt with your own needs to prepare in advance and he will be calmer because you are calmer.
I know we're all prey to feel pressured by what other people tell us to do with our horses (and ourselves!) - and it's good to ask and take advice...but when you truly know that by doing something that might be considered being over-prepared by other people, you will cope better and your horse won't come to any harm from it...so I say, do what you need to do. By allowing yourself to do it, at some point, you'll probably let go of the need to do it...when you're ready to!
I know I work mega-slowly with horses compared to most people (and on occasion when I've put pressure on myself to 'get on with it' quicker like other people I know, it has tended to go really badly) - its just how I am. (And my horses are young-and-difficult and old-and-difficult!).
For me, not rushing/'overthinking' and at times 'overpreparing' doesn't do my horses any harm and it helps me to work with them better...and at the end of the day, I feel I get the results I want from my horses - it may take me longer than some people but neither me nor consequently my horses, feel rushed or stressed when we do it the way that suits me best.
Hope you have a great time whichever way you decide to play it! :D
 
Cobiau Cymraeg Wyllt said:
I think the crucial thing is...if it helps you to relax and be calm to do something like hire the school the week before...then he will benefit from it as you will have dealt with your own needs to prepare in advance and he will be calmer because you are calmer.
I know we're all prey to feel pressured by what other people tell us to do with our horses (and ourselves!) - and it's good to ask and take advice...but when you truly know that by doing something that might be considered being over-prepared by other people, you will cope better and your horse won't come to any harm from it...so I say, do what you need to do. By allowing yourself to do it, at some point, you'll probably let go of the need to do it...when you're ready to!
I know I work mega-slowly with horses compared to most people (and on occasion when I've put pressure on myself to 'get on with it' quicker like other people I know, it has tended to go really badly) - its just how I am. (And my horses are young-and-difficult and old-and-difficult!).
For me, not rushing/'overthinking' and at times 'overpreparing' doesn't do my horses any harm and it helps me to work with them better...and at the end of the day, I feel I get the results I want from my horses - it may take me longer than some people but neither me nor consequently my horses, feel rushed or stressed when we do it the way that suits me best.
Hope you have a great time whichever way you decide to play it! :D
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Thanks! I think exactly like you. I think if I take him there first in a no pressure situation where I can be calm and relaxed, so will he. If I take him to this club night without having done the prep beforehand, I'll be a nervous wreck! There will of course come a point where we know each other well enough and he has had more experienced that I will take him to new places, do new things without thinking about it. But we are not there yet. I've just texted the YO to see when I can hire the school. Thanks :)
 
Ilovefoals said:
Thanks! I think exactly like you. I think if I take him there first in a no pressure situation where I can be calm and relaxed, so will he. If I take him to this club night without having done the prep beforehand, I'll be a nervous wreck! There will of course come a point where we know each other well enough and he has had more experienced that I will take him to new places, do new things without thinking about it. But we are not there yet. I've just texted the YO to see when I can hire the school. Thanks :)
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:D Yep, that's my outlook on such things, to a 'Tee'...
keep us posted! ;)
 
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