Overcoming a lack of confidence in yourself

Kokopelli

Kokopelli

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I'm lacking confidence hugely atm, not as in I'm scared but honestly I'm embarrassed to ride in front of people because I'm so awful. Today I had a dressage test got an awful result (worse than 5 months ago when my boy did spastic giraffe impressions) and honestly I don't think I can do anything any more.

Show jumping is always resulting in 4/8 faultitis! Andy used to be an awesome show jumper and he's rubbish now because of me.

Dressage is just awful he either works lovely or turns off completely and it's like riding a hobby horse at times. Someone better could do him justice.

Don't even get me started on xc.

So not only have I not improved my lad I've actually made him worse than he was before. I have my B test in August and really considering pulling out because quite frankly I'm not good enough.

How can I become more confident in my ability? I don't want to pull out of B test as I can't afford to and I've been working towards it for ages but I don't think I can do it.
 
Practice! Practice practice practice practiceeeeeee!!

Don't talk tosh, from what I've seen, Andy has come on SO SO SO much since you've had him. He is not an easy ride, from what I see and read. Our TB pony used to be the same, wants to go as fast as possible and with his head up as high as possible. Stick with it.

Would be worth really putting your all into having some lessons, with either someone you feel comfortable with or someone who you aspire to. Do it for you, don't give a toss for others - there will always be those lurking who just want to put you down (I can think of a few.....) but there are many many more people rooting for you and there to give you support.

Don't give up. It gets better. It will be worth it. Sometimes, we have to go through the **** times just to reach a glimpse of the good ones :)
 
It's all in the mind.
At the moment you are telling yourself you can't. You need to start telling yourself you're great at it, the more time you spend thinking this the bigger reality it will become!

Its true what they say, what you think you become ....
 
Don't put so much pressure on yourself! Also don't put yourself down!
I bet it's just a case if trying too hard. Take a deep breath, relax, have some fun with Andy without worrying about other people/results/what you are doing. I bet once you relax and have a smile on your face you will focus on the things that go well and it will all pick up again.
 
hannahmurphy said:
It's all in the mind.
At the moment you are telling yourself you can't. You need to start telling yourself you're great at it, the more time you spend thinking this the bigger reality it will become!

Its true what they say, what you think you become ....
Click to expand...

Totally second that, and speaking from bitter experience. Koko you can do it and once you have got that B test under your belt you will feel such a sense of achievement you just need to get that positive head back on starting NOW!! Really feel for you, you're in a horrid place but you got the power to turn it all around -and having read some of your posts and watched your pics etc you are being way to hard on yourself, you're more than capable of getting wherever you want to go. Good luck and good positive vibes coming your way !
 
Firstly dressage is subjective, not objective. Don't panic about getting a worse % than before as I'm guessing it was probably different judges.

How about dropping down a level in your show jumping? If you get some good double clears under your belt they this will probably boost your confidence.

You have done a fantastic job with Andy, he is not an easy horse and you have done brilliantly.

Chin up and enjoy your nice long summer holidays :D:D
 
I think we all get like that occassionally. Go back to getting the basics in place when you ride again, the start,stop and sideways buttons working to your satisfaction and if thats you in the pics i dont think youve alot to worry about.
You cant be a passenger and jump like that :)
 
Practice and getting someone you trust to sit you down and actually focus on what's causing the problem. Worked for me!
 
Oh Koko! ((((((hugs))))) Don't be so silly! You are ace! You're just having a wobble - everyone needs to have a wobble every now and again... it helps to refocus and make you that bit stronger and maybe even better...

Sounds like you need a break. Perhaps doing something completely different will give you a new outlook... :)
 
You and Andy are so obviously F.A.B, so don't get yourself down!

Why not have a week or so of chilling, maybe just hacking and having fun, take your mind off PONY CLUB B TEST. It is not the be all and end all.

After that, go and have some confidence builiding lessons with an instructor, confide in them and tell them what you want to work on and what you feel you need help with :)

I love seeing your posts and think you have done so well with him! Don't give up just yet chicken!
 
I am slightly confused by your post to be honest.

Your post reads as though you genuinely think you're not a good rider, and have made your horse worse.

However the advice you've asked for is how to be more confident in your ability - if the only thing you want help with is your self confidence, then you can't actually think you've made him worse - or you'd be asking for practical advice on what to do about him. :confused:

I think you should have some lessons on a schoolmaster to get your confidence back. And perhaps have your instructor ride Andy for a bit to get him up to scratch so that you'll both be happier when you get back on.
 
I dont know but if you find out please share.
You have done great with andy in such a short space of time and if you have been put up for your B test your instructors must believe you can do it.
 
Thing is my instructors believed I could do it last time and I failed which was basically the start of all my self confidence.

Will sit down with RI tomorrow and discuss everything, show her the sheet and see where we're going from here. Next time I got dressage I'll bring her along with me for help in the warm up and see how we do. TBH I don't think I do dressage enough so I always make a huge deal out of it unlike show jumping where I go out often it's nothing.

I wanna get out and have some fun but after a frank discussion with my mum in the car she doesn't think I can have fun and then succeed I either school and have lessons or bum about. I just want to take him out for a long leisurely hack but no one at my yard wants to hack with him because they think he's a nutter, he's not.

Will book some school master lessons as well sounds like a good idea. A lesson on the lunge with Andy would also be quite good. Unfortunately my RIs can't ride Andy as they are too big for him.
 
I have followed you and Andy and have to say I think you have done a fantastic job with him and you are a really good rider.

I have issues at the moment as I have put on alot of weight again which I had lost and always feel like people will look and laugh at me, but what I should be thinking is no one actually probably cares and Im having fun!

Slightly off topic there sorry!

Chin up and keep at it:)
 
I think you have to do lots of dressage tests and get a different idea of what is good for you and Andy. I'd also recommend lessons at different venue where your instructor essentially watches you warm up, offering only salient tips as you go. Al did this last week and the week before, and know knows Reg needs 30 minutes of solid warming up with lots of canter work, and canter-trot-canter transitions and then you have a 15 minute period where he's soft and supple and willing. Before, he was going into tests vastly under-warmed up for him because she was worried about over doing it.

As for your B test- some one else will have to ride Andy. So even if he is a dick on the day, everyone will suffer and the examiner will take it into account! Al is doing hers and is fairly comforted by the idea that some poor soul is going to SJ him :D

FWIW- whatever your score, Reg has been lower. Last year it took him til Late November to crawl out of the 45-50% bracket. This year, he managed an impressive 43 faults SJ. You have to plug on and keep thinking that eventually it'll all be awesome and then everyone who has pitied you will be wildly jealous, and no one will say you got a ready made horse!
 
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