Overcoming Nerves - give me your tips please.

kibob

kibob

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I suffer terribly with nerves whenever I am out of my comfort zone with my horse. Not just competition, going away from home for lessons etc too:mad:

My nerves can really get all-consuming, to the point I feel physically sick. I try to concentrate on the positive, and focus on that elated feeling I get when the mission is complete;) but often fail miserably and end up a jibbering wreck:confused:

How do others overcome this? - any tips/hints/remedies greatly appreciated.
 
Hi,

I really feel for you, I had a bad bolting accident 2 years ago, was so frightened I gave up, couldn't stay away and the first time I got back on a Horse, I felt sick, I started crying :o, couldn't stop shaking. I went home and wrote a lesson structure (for the next few weeks) the first session I just walked around, circles and halting. The next I introduced some trotting (only down the short sides) next lesson more trotting, then progressed from there to trotting circles etc, was ages before I cantered, I asked my friend to put me on a lunge for my first canter.

I think that really helped me as I went at my own pace and only done what I felt comfortable doing.

Could you hire out a nearby school, just walk around (with someone on foot if you'd prefer) then gradually build up your work? Then when you feel comfortable book a lesson, be totally honest with your instructor and ask them to take things slow. Or if you have an experienced friend, ask them if they wouldnt mind putting you on the lunge, takes some of the pressure away from you.

Take deep breaths and try to relax yourself and remember slow and steady wins the race!

Good luck
 
I dont know if this will help but when I am feeling nervous or aprehensive I look back at what I have achieved and then give myself a choise, do I pucker up and meet the next challenge or go home and give up. I have never given up yet !!!!!!!
 
VODKA !!! :-)


Honestly I think the only thing that can make you feel more comfortable in situations is practice and a little inner push from yourself !! Easier said than done though I know.
 
Hi there,

I had a really bad accident a few years ago and nearly lost my leg so im all pinned and plated and use to worry all the time, infact my nerves got so bad i would have a panick attacks which i had never had befor since getting bk on after my accident. My instructer use to say to me when i got nervous to imagine the nerves were a little gremlin on my shoulder thats holding me bk from enjoying riding what i love so shout at him to BUZZ OFF well harsher words than that haha, You may feel like a twit but it works and i dont look bk now really hope this helps x
 
i know how you feel ive not ridden in ages . and ive just had shoes put back on so no excuse now!
i will be a wreck when i get on him even though i know hes safe and i know him in and out as ive owned him for such a long time ...
before i lost my other bigger horse 4 years ago i was nervous about getting on her .
so i used to hum or sing which helped . and then i decided to buy a hypnosis cd . hacking with confidence .
yes i do believe that worked . so im going to dig it back out the cupboard and listen to it again ..
hope all goes well for you ..
let us know how you get on xx
 
I suffer fairly badly from nerves myself, and I think I always will, I was so bad doing the winter league(sj) 2 years ago, Iused to have panic attacks sitting at my desk at work just thinking about it. Couldnt speak to anyone the day of the show, vomitting, even though i had eaten nothing, as i just couldn't eat. The second i was in the arena competing(80cms so not very big!!) I was totally fine, as was focused on getting over each fence. Afterwards, I'd be grand, starving, and chatting to everyone. I was lucky that the people around me understood and left me alone until afterwards.
I tend to be a bit of a control freak out hacking if I'm nervous, so am not always the easiest to hack out with, especially when cantering on, i like being in front, and get really bossy and generally a nightmare to hack with. I'm not normally like this, so my poor sister just puts up with me.
Dont give up is my best advice to you, I do think the nerves might fade a bit in time, I'm hoping that mine will. I think the more you do the better it gets, but i'm back to the beginning again as havnt sj'd since!!!
 
It sounds silly but smiling helps to release endorphins that relax you.

I'm also the sort that tries to tell nerves to bugger off.

I developed nerves about dismounting a while back and found the best way to get over it was take a deep breath, ignore the nerves and just go for it. They are subsiding now. Good luck with yours.
 
fitzaud2 said:
I tend to be a bit of a control freak out hacking if I'm nervous, so am not always the easiest to hack out with, especially when cantering on, i like being in front, and get really bossy and generally a nightmare to hack with. I'm not normally like this, so my poor sister just puts up with me.
Click to expand...

:D I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this, I used to find hacking with other people so stressful as I couldn't control their horses and they wouldn't read my mind to find out where they should be walking :D

I've solved the issue by teaching my horse to hack out alone and my confidence in him has soared! Before I used to get stressy and snappy. Now, even when he is silly, because it's just me and him it's funny! I have to admit though, when we first started hacking out alone I used to have a wee tot of Port before heading out, I liked to think of it as very strong rescue remedy! But it's done the trick. Even when he tanked off with my out cantering I didn't loose confidence, I was able to canter him out on our next hack without worry.

The other thing that has helped me is an agreement I have with myself, if my horse isn't my dream horse by the time he is 8 I can sell him and buy my dream horse, but to be able to fund my dream horse I need to make money selling my current horse, the only way I can do this is to put the work in... guess what? I already have my dream horse! :D

Out hacking, if I find he's getting stressed we start singing "ten green bottles" it seems to take both our minds off the horse eating monsters in the woods!
 
I wrote asking for help yesterday on a thread for a very, very similar experience. The guys were great and the advice was excellent. I was also advised to buy some rescue remedy which I bought today and I'm going to try it this week.
And to answer your question - YES there are lots of people the same as you!
 
I've tried it all TBH, hypnotherapy, sports psychology etc. My nerves are getting better but only due to having a really genuine horse. I can't get instruction really as am too difficult to teach. I jumped my first 65cm the other day and felt on top of the world. Keep at it!
 
Dizzle said:
:D I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this, I used to find hacking with other people so stressful as I couldn't control their horses and they wouldn't read my mind to find out where they should be walking :D

I've solved the issue by teaching my horse to hack out alone and my confidence in him has soared! Before I used to get stressy and snappy. Now, even when he is silly, because it's just me and him it's funny! I have to admit though, when we first started hacking out alone I used to have a wee tot of Port before heading out, I liked to think of it as very strong rescue remedy! But it's done the trick. Even when he tanked off with my out cantering I didn't loose confidence, I was able to canter him out on our next hack without worry.

The other thing that has helped me is an agreement I have with myself, if my horse isn't my dream horse by the time he is 8 I can sell him and buy my dream horse, but to be able to fund my dream horse I need to make money selling my current horse, the only way I can do this is to put the work in... guess what? I already have my dream horse! :D

Out hacking, if I find he's getting stressed we start singing "ten green bottles" it seems to take both our minds off the horse eating monsters in the woods!
Click to expand...

Dizzle, I sing too, and am really looking forward to hacking out alone, but he's only a baby and hasn't hacked yet so will prob have to hack out in company on him for a while at least. Think I'll give the rescue remedy to my sister so she doesn't kill me!!!!LOL!!
Ten green bottles will be my new song!!!!
 
My nerves are terrible but getting better, I had a bad fall approx two years ago from a horse i used to own, but it carried on with every horse i have ridden since, things that have helped me are
Rescue Remedy pastels or in water
Hacking with Confidence CD relaxation technique is excellent
I sing (x factor i have not got) but it chills me out
and great friends on the ground and ridden

Two nights ago i rode outside the school for the first time without being physically ill and crying i even smiled so there is a light at the end of the tunnel
 
if they are that bad have you thought about getting a book/tape/appointment about sports psychology? I am reading a dressgae reference book ATM and it has a section on the riders state of mind and looks at 4 or 5 aspects of the riders mind/attitude which i find quite helpful.
 
Just work within your comfort zone, that may mean hacking with a friend rather than alone, or riding in an arena rather than going hacking. Riding an old plodder, whatever keeps you feeling safe. As you start to feel comfortable, start expanding your boundaries, when you feel nervous come back to your comfort zone. Eventually your confidence will grow.

Adult riding clubs can be a great way to get your confidence back, also having a really great riding instructor, or a really good quiet horse.

I fell off and was badly injured, in hospital with concussion for 5 days. Took 3 weeks before I could walk and talk normally, or drive a car. Bad scare as a mum with 3 kids. Took 3 years before I rode again, then just hopping on and off the kids ponies.
 
I came back to riding after a very long break and was paralyzed by my nerves. I would make any excuse not to ride and sometimes found it impossible to get on as I was shaking so much.

The way I tackled it was firstly to find a really empathetic instructor to help me with my basic communication (sounds like you're already way beyond this stage!). Then I started hacking out at my own pace (didn't canter for a year). On a good day if I was feeling brave I'd push myself a bit out of my comfort zone but not otherwise. For me, it's all about enjoyment so I didn't want to push too hard and terrify myself ;).

A year on and I hack out most days now, alone and in company and have built a great bond with my mare. We still have our flashpoints tho, and I still get nervous especially if the weather's anything other than warm and still!

It's really hard to "force" yourself to relax, but a CBT therapist taught me a simple but very effective tip. When you're starting to tense, tense up a muscle (eg make a fist) and then relax it. You can do this with any muscles and it really works. I make a conscious effort to sit really loose through my hips, heels down and most importantly for me, hands down. And as others have said, singing's good as it helps regulate your breathing.

I know what a struggle it is with nerves, but stick at it and don't forget to congratulate yourself after triumphs! Also don't pressurise yourself too much to do anything you don't feel comfortable with.

Good luck :) x
 
I sing when alone with a horse I'm not comfortable with, but am too embarassed to do it mid-lesson! I do smile though when I'm worried (e.g. when I'm riding the super spooky pony outdoors and I see potential triggers all over the shop). It's not a cure, but it makes me feel better, stops my nerves spreading to the people around me, and the only time I've got off the spooky pony for being a total div, I was too grumpy and stressed to have smiled! lol.
 
I am a natural worrier and although I don't panic, in the last year (after a couple bad experiences) I would just mentally obsess over the worst case scenario until I convinced myself it was the only option.

Now, I try and think through each worst case scenario. I have some really important finals coming up so now worry I'll break my wrist and won't be able to write. Then I think, that's fine, it must've happened lots before, I'd ring up the exam board and they'd sort something out. Or if I'm just freaked out about being tanked off with I think, 'this has happened before, I know how to stop if I really concentrate and don't panic and put my mind to it, it's only ever gone wrong when I panic and don't think rationally'. I just really get on my own case to be more rational. Riding is fun but sometimes you fall off. If you get hurt people sort you out and patch you up and everyone looks after you and spoils you.

And then I think that my own worst case scenario isn't getting hurt or scared, it's the opposite: letting myself down and not being the best I can be at what I love. And every time I push myself out my comfort zone, even to the smallest extent, I will feel such a rush of satisfaction afterwards. And, when I really think about it, this outweighs any of the risks.

Short term things: body protectors make me feel pretty invincible and confident!! Also, when a reliable, trustworthy person is around me (even non-horsey) I automatically feel like nothing could go wrong in their presence. Same with people I am close to - they'd always look after me! Or ride with someone else - seeing them do something easily will help you to do it.

Take some rescue remedy, have a big cup of tea and line up a favourite treat waiting for you at home if you successfully control your nerves. And force a grin: you'll feel ridiculous but works a treat.

Sorry that was so long, hope it helps!
 
Is it when you have a lesson? I used to be realy nervous before lessons as I was worring what the instructor would think of my riding, it was started by an instructor who made me feel like I couldnt do any thing and got worse from there. I now have a fab instructor at home and she makes me laugh the whole time so I now dont feel nervous about lessons any more. I have found that competing with a young horse has made me less nervous as I put no pressure on myself and just enjoy the day. Dont give up it will get better you just need the right people around you to put you at ease.
 
Thankyou everyone for your brilliant replies. Lots to work with there:)

I'm certainly going to tackle this head-on as it is going to stop me having fun otherwise. So here's to the new me, gonna kick my nerves gremlin up the backside... he's getting on my nerves now;):D

I'm going on camp tomorrow with my horse and am determined not to let my nerves ruin it for me.
 
What worked for me was a good friend who understood my fears, a good instructor who helped me just get on with it, Pilates taught me to control my breathing, singing and chatting to horse, looking past scary things, hypnosis CD, rescue remedy, ignoring other people.
Gradually I built up bit by bit, and I don't overface myself. I have got to the point where I will have a go because I know if it gets too much I can always stop and get off! As long as I keep that in my head I am fine, I even managed hunting this winter. I keep focussing on times when my horse has been naughty and times I have nearly come off but I managed to stay on. I keep telling myself "that is the worst it can get and I survived that so I can survive anything."
As my confidence has grown so has my horse's. He isn't spooky like he used to be and he will listen to me and be brave when I ask him. He still has his moments (at shows) but last winter I was terrified to even get on his back so I am very pleased with our progress! I have heard a few comments about how much progress we have made and how much braver I have become from the same people who's bitchiness contributed towards my lost confidence. That just makes me want to go out and do more!
 
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