Overenthusiastic or odd?

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Serianas

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Okidoki so I have been away from the forum for a while, having been crocked with a bad back and not being able to do much horsey :(

Anyway I seem to have inherited a sharer, who is a lovely girl, and likes the pony. They gel very well. I have made sure she has rider insurance etc, met her mum (who is horsey) but I still need to ask for her next of kin phone number.

My problem is this... she has fallen head over heels for pony and now is very insistent about riding him. She texted me yesterday about today and I replied that I would ride today (im capable of hacking because I can have my stirrups long, and my friend and I always ride on a Tues) to give him a break from the hard work he is doing. I said she can ride on Thursday as I am never around on a Thursday, which she seems happy with.

She then texted me again about riding today, which again I declined, as he needs a little rest if not a whole day off. He is being worked hard at the moment to shed some weight, so he is doing 20 mins hard work on the lunge or she has ridden him or my riding instructor is riding him.

I know she is desperate to ride, and I love the fact she is enthusiastic but I would also like her to respect my decision. Would you guys nip this in the bud now or see how she goes on for a couple more weeks?

I know I sound a bit precious (honestly Im not!) but with him being borderline lami from simply looking at grass Im just concerned for his welfare.
 
I think she is young and excited but you need to set some boundries, for both or you. Maybe you can give her set days, or a set amount of days to be negotiated - giving her the reasons above, so at least then she isn't texting every day asking resulting in you getting sick of the texts and her getting sick of being declined!
 
Nip it in the bud now! I inherited a fourth child when we moved onto our current yard, she was obsessed with my kids pony and was always wanting to ride her despite the fact that I have three children of my own who also want to ride her, lol.
 
Sorry, that posted before I was finished - stupid phone!! Anyway, to cut a long story short the situation came to a head, turned ugly and she ended up moving off the yard. I think you need to establish clear boundaries from the start. X
 
Phew im not being daft then lol I dont know much about children having none of my own so I just wanted to know I have measures in place to deal with overenthusiasm :D pony has gone from 0-60 in a couple of weeks! Think he needs a slow leg stretch!
 
Yes set boundaries but if he is practically laminitic he doesn't in my opinion need any days off! Far nicer for him to work every day than have less to eat to lose weight.

My cob has to be ridden every day for health reasons and she absolutely thrives on it. She has 22 hours the rest of the day to rest!

When I was a kid we would ride out in the morning go home for lunch and then ride all afternoon on the same ponies! They were fit and slim and never restricted of what grass they got because they exercised so much. All lived to ripe old ages as well.
 
Oh and even though I'm broken I would still like to ride when I want, as I pay for him, and the sharer pays no contribution. We can only ride at the same time, as she works with it being school hols
 
I think just overenthusiastic and smitten with a pony she gets to ride (and hopefully) care for on her riding days. I'm with FfionWinnie in that lots of exercise is brilliant for him especially if prone to laminitis or developing a bit of a tummy, granted not flat out high energy constantly if he's not done a lot recently but daily gentle exercise is ideal.

On the other hand, and especially with no financial contribution from the girl if you have time and want to ride you come first and if you've already said that she can't ride on a specific day she needs to understand that this is not negotiable.

I agree with the others who have posted, if you can set specific days of the week for when she can ride it'll probably make both of your lives easier and less stressful!
 
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Agree! Clear boundaries. Yes it's lovely she's enthusiastic but it's your horse and your decisions.
My daughter is 15 and one of her friends got very much like this after I let her ride my horse once. It's difficult and I wish I'd been clearer from the beginning but was worried about upsetting her. As it is we have pretty much fallen out as he's been injured and I won't let anyone ride him anymore.
 
I do agree that boundaries and set days are best however we probably to some degree have been that pony mad child once and enthusiasm is no bad thing if they are willing to muck in with the chores too

It doesn't make particular sense to worry about the amount of work the pony is getting at this point if you are lunging them in 'hard work' mode for twenty minutes at a time - far better to let the child ride in a low impact way more regularly instead maybe?
 
How old is the girl? It may be worth using her parents as the go-between to set those boundaries. Kids can easily feel like they've been "told off" when you set boundaries and then she'll feel awkward and things may begin to fall apart. Whereas the parents will understand and kids are used to their parents telling them what to do. Just makes the communication a bit gentler and easier for the child.

I would just try to have some set days and then maybe some extra days where she can ask but sometimes someone else will be riding and she'll have to accept it.
 
I have her mums number now as an ICE, and ill have a quiet word in her ear. She seems really nice.

The girl in question is 13 and she wants to go a million miles an hour all the time. She wanted to jump him straight away and at this moment in time I think (and my riding instructor thinks) it would have too much impact on his joints so I would like to build him up as he is unfit.
 
Have a quiet word with her Mum - she probably just needs to hear how important it is to be patient from a few different people. With the constant texting, maybe you should have a quick weekly "meeting" with her where you set out the days she can ride for that week and what she can and can't do for those rides.
 
Agree with all the others - set riding days and times. Then outline the concerns you have voiced to us, and if she's not already hopefully encourage her to help out with horse management stable and field jobs too.

Good idea to run it past the mum as hopefully you'll have more of a chance of keeping the rules in place.

The thing I dislike the most about children riding is the ones who get overindulged in riding and never know how to care for the actual horse. When I was younger the rule was at least 2/3 of my time had to be caring for the horse and 1/3 riding. So important!

Best of luck:)
 
FfionWinnie said:
Yes set boundaries but if he is practically laminitic he doesn't in my opinion need any days off!
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This. And 20 minutes on the lunge isn't hard work. Hard work is a four-hour past-paced hack over all terrain with a lot of trot and canter.

If you have a fat lami horse I would avoid lunging tbh. It's hard enough on their joints when they're not overweight.
 
She just sounds very keen to me, but I would just tactfully work around the 'going at a million miles an hour'.

There is nothing wrong with you riding him (say, this morning) and then her coming and riding him in the afternoon. If he is practically laminitic, I would be worrying far more about him being on box rest for x months with lami, than him being a little bit tired. It doesn't sound to me as though he is in particularly hard work, 20 mins on the lunge is nothing and actually I would rather ride for an hour than lunge for 20 mins.
 
Hes not actually laminitic, he is in the bracket my riding instructor would class as 'high risk', hence upping the workload to help prevent it.

The girl already helps with chores thank goodness :) she will do anything just to be near him. I have a sneaking suspicion she even brushed him yesterday when he was turned in as he wasnt muddy, and all the others were...

I understand her enthusiasm (trust me, I was just as desperate at her age, yet had to wait til I was nearly 30 to get my own), but its just that niggling feeling that she may not listen to my instructions.
 
We can only ride at the same times as we both work. I know it wont hurt him to be ridden twice. I have someone very experienced that knows the pony and can advise on his welfare.

This thread is about how to set boundaries to an eager child, not about the welfare of pony.
 
I think that you've had some good advice. Sit down and decide exactly what you would be happy with and write it all down. So what days she can ride, can she hack (in company only?), school, jump (height, warm up/cool down?) plus any jobs etc... Then arrange to meet the Mum and present it in a positive light. You were once an enthusiastic teenager, you are happy for her to ride the pony, but he is unfit at the moment, so to keep everyone happy and not overwork him you want to have some guidelines. As he gets fitter, you could increase jump heights, hack times and maybe she could have lessons on him?
 
Faracat said:
As he gets fitter, you could increase jump heights, hack times and maybe she could have lessons on him?
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This I am looking forward to, as the yard does all kinds of competitions from gymkana to WH, and I would love to see her ride him in them. My brave pants arent as big as they once were, but I think he will adore jumping!

He has litterally gone from being ridden whenever I could snaffle someone to shove on him, or being gently hacked by me to being ridden 7 days a week (this share started about 2 weeks ago) and already I can tell the difference to his gut... Ive had to buy a shorter girth!
 
Yard comps sounds like a fab thing for her to aim for. It really should help you present the idea of a 'fitness programme' with your days and her days carefully planned out too. :)
 
The Fuzzy Furry said:
Definitely set times & days for a junior rider, along with a riding plan (eg, 30 mins schooling, 20 mins hack, 2 hour hack etc etc) to follow if possible :)
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This. You also say she just wants to go flat out. I used to work at a busy riding school where we had a lot of working liveries. The school was only free at lunch time and it could get like the ring of death in there. All they wanted to do was canter around in circles as fast as they could. I now teach my niece who is also 13. She used to only want to gallop and got bored quickly. I now give her specific goals to work towards whether this is correct bend or lengthening and shortening strides. Simple, achievable goals that focus her and improve the pony. The pony has improved immensely and we both feel a huge sense of achievement If you set clear boundaries at the outset you could become a really happy and enthusiastic team. Good luck
 
From your posts, it sounds like sharer has done a lot of good for you both and seems to be able to handle the pony.

I can understand your concern, especially if all she wants to do is jump and go fast - and I think a lot of 13 year olds are like this! If possible, could you arrange a meeting with her and her mum so you can all sit down and talk about the pony and boundaries, such as she can only jump x height until you are happy with how they're both progressing, only allowed to jump him x times a week, the days you want to ride and days she can ride, what to do/who to call in emergencies etc and make sure you all agree to it and are happy with the arrangements.

Imo, I do think she needs to be there so she can give her two cents and decide what days she would like to ride and can explain what she would like to do/her aims and goals and to also hear what you would like her to be able to do with him. But I also do think it's important mum is there to listen and agree and also be aware of what daughter is and isn't allowed to do and knows the emergency numbers.

I think if you can sit down and get boundaries set and explain to her why you're going to set these boundaries and agree on things her and mum will be understanding. Regarding the texting, once you have set your days and boundaries they may well not be as frequent as she already knows when she is and isn't allowed to ride.
 
She wants to gallop and jump - does she understand why you don't want her to do that?

If she doesn't realise it's for pony's health and future soundness (read: ability for her to compete him someday), then she might be tempted to sneak some in. If she understands, she's more likely to stick to your agreements.
 
smja said:
She wants to gallop and jump - does she understand why you don't want her to do that?

If she doesn't realise it's for pony's health and future soundness (read: ability for her to compete him someday), then she might be tempted to sneak some in. If she understands, she's more likely to stick to your agreements.
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She seems a bright lass and a corking little rider so I dont think I would have any problem explainign it to her :) I am going to have a sit down with her and her mum, and also ask her ifshe would lke to do alternate weeks with me for lessons with my instructor.
 
If you feel she won't listen to your instructions of sustained walking/trotting and not razz around in gallop and jumping, put the fear of God into her. Tell her that the pony is only to be used for x amount of time and if she doesn't adhere to it then she won't ride again. Explain that it's akin to getting a fat person to run 10k and it will injure him.
 
I think you should approach her with a fitness programme for your horse explaining that you hope she can, in the foreseeable future, enjoy the yard competitions. Explain the importance of building gradual and solid foundations to then be able to enjoy more active work on a horse that has been properly conditioned to reduce incidences of injury.

Tailor the programme to what you want done with him on a daily basis and colour coded for your days and hers. If she does not adhere to the programme then she has little excuse should you feel she is unsuitable and not listening to your specific instruction.

The programme will also (hopefully) give her focus, goals, improve attention to detail, education on fitness and an end reward of competing.
 
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