Overhorsed finally letting go

C

ceristan

Active Member
Joined
6 March 2008
Messages
34
Visit site
It's a sad day for me as I know I must let my boy go. He is too much for me. You may find it hard to believe but I have battled with this for ten years! I bought him as a three year old and with the experience I have gained over the years I now know it was a crazy thing to do.
I rode him out fine for the first few years but when he hit 6 the problems started. He needed a confident knowledgeable rider but he knocked that confidence out of me. Since then I have only ridden him in fields and schools. I took a chance a couple of months ago and moved yards to ride on bridle paths and the mountains, but he doesn't want to leave his field mates and naps. It isn't naughtiness it is fear and I just don't have the knowledge and confidence to push him on.
I don't want to return to the old yard and ride in dull old fields and schools. I love open spaces and want to hack out. So that is why I feel I have no choice. It breaks my heart but I don't want to keep him when I'm too freaked to ride out. If it was naughtiness I would handle him but I know it is fear that makes him behave that way and if I am not confident to kick him on then I think it is a potentially dangerous situation. He's been ridden by others more confident than me with no issues, so I know it's me with the problem.
I'm gutted, the thought of selling him makes me feel sick but I can't see any way out. I can't afford to send him away for schooling etc.
I work so hard looking after him sorting him out before and after work but I don't get any reward of lovely rides in the country and I don't think it's fair to put myself under this strain anymore.
If only he knew that he's losing the one that makes sure he is safe, sheltered and fed every day of his life. If only he would believe me when I tell him that he doesn't need to be afraid. I just pray whoever he goes to and his life after me is a happy one - I can't believe after all these years of trying - I am doing what I vowed I never would.
I know that some of you on here may read this and say get a grip but we are all different.
I know I have a stressful time ahead of me finding someone for him, it's going to be horrible. Thanks if you have read this, if you have any similar experiences please let me know, it may help me feel a bit better.
 
Well 7 years is a long time so no one can accuse you of not giving it time. Sorry that after all that time it's not worked out. You do need to let him go as he will enjoy a more fulfilling life and so can you with something more suitable. Good luck:)
 
Thanks HaHa. I will text my friends from my old yard tomorrow to put the word around. I would like him to go to someone through word of mouth, rather than someone completely unknown to me. That would be the best case scenario. I would feel much happier with that. Just pray it happens that way.
 
I must admit I really feel for you I know what it's like to feel like that although not for that length of time. Good luck and let me know how you go either by PM or do a post.:)
 
I'm all over the place with what to do at the moment. My husband thinks I'm deluded when I talk of keeping him. I could try loaning out. Thanks for your kind words. In the last ten minutes I've started thinking of taking him back to his old yard he was happy there and I know I would be welcome back. Maybe the fields aren't so boring! I'll let you know. I so wish he was a plodder!! I'm off now my head is buzzing with it all. I'll be in touch soon.
 
ceristan said:
I'm all over the place with what to do at the moment. My husband thinks I'm deluded when I talk of keeping him. I could try loaning out. Thanks for your kind words. In the last ten minutes I've started thinking of taking him back to his old yard he was happy there and I know I would be welcome back. Maybe the fields aren't so boring! I'll let you know. I so wish he was a plodder!! I'm off now my head is buzzing with it all. I'll be in touch soon.
Click to expand...

~~~~~HUGS~~~~~~~
 
Whatever you decide its obvious from your post you dote on him and have put all your care, time and attention in!
The loan idea is a good one - you can keep him close at hand then, and always know where he is and how he's doing - and maybe even ride him now and again!
But don't stress yourself out, give it lots of thought - he sounds like a lovely horse, you won't have any problems whatever you decide to do.
I hope things work out for you, keep us all posted.
Good luck!
K x
 
ugh hun - i know that feeling all too well :( making the decsion to sell my beloved mare was the hardest thing i have had to do :( heartbreaking, i love her so much, but she scared me :( with help i had brought her on, but when she realised her strength and well being i couldnt handle it.she waa also fine with a more confident rider. as it is she has been diagnosed with navicular and DDFT damage and will probably end up retired- but it hurts a lot. and i hadnt had her as long as you!
wishing you all the best xx
(((((((hugs)))))))
 
Hugs for you.

Sounds like you have kept him for far longer than most would. Its right thing to do if your getting no enjoyment.

My friend bought a horse last year and he was used for BSJA so she wanted him for unaffiliated stuff and hacking. He rode fine for her when she viewed him but when she moved him to her yard he got very attached to his fieldmates and was difficult to even get to the school to ride let alone out of the gates to hack out.

She has sent him to a yard to be schooled and sold. She will have to take a loss although he was a bit cheap for a showjumper in the first place. I think he would go a lot better for someone with experience. He has even been to Spain showjumping. But my friend just doesnt have the confidence and owning him has knocked it further :(
 
Well, I am in exactly the same place you are. I have put mine up for sale, but dread the thought of someone actually wanting to come and try him. I thought about loaning, but keep seeing stuff about loan horses going missing. My lad wont go out of the gate with me or anywhere on the yard. An experienced lady has been taking him out for me and although we still have napping issues she is far more confident that I am and I feel that he would be better with someone more like her. BUT I actually am attached to this horse as he is otherwise a very nice character, and luckily I could afford to keep him and not ride. However, if you want another horse to ride out, I think you will have to make yourself let him go.
 
Ceristan - as far as I can see you have tried to do your best for a long time and riding is now no fun for you and fun is what it's meant to be.

I bought both of my last two horses as 5 year olds and both turned out to be wrong for me and what I wanted to do. The first especially was just too much horse - too sharp and just wanted to jump. He knocked my confidence sideways. I too felt bad when I decided after 3 years to sell him, but I felt sick at the thought of getting on and did not dare to tell him what to do.

He is now 18, still winning show jumping classes. It took me a while to find the right yard and owner and I took much less for him than his value but he is a very happy horse.

My next horse was just too spooky on the roads round us, where you really need a saint. I managed to find him a good home too.

I now have the grey you see on the left: I love him to bits and look forward to riding - hack him out on my own etc.

The right horse is out there for you just as the right owner is out there for your current horse. Good luck and really, don't feel bad (even though I know you will!) :o:)
 
You obviously love your horse dearly and like the other poster said, he certainly cannot be accused of not giving him enough time.. lol

However, I am a huge giant believer of you will get there in the end and always think, lets have one more go!

If you are planning on selling him, there fair enough. Totally your choice. But why not have one last crack at him.. Save up (money well spent in my eyes) and get Michael Peace out.

Literally get the ultimate expert to see if there is any hope for the two of you hacking around the hills you dream about. I think his straightforward yet sensitive approach would really make that difference.., And if in the slightest of chances it didn't work out, then you know you have made the right decision and can live with no regrets (not that you should if you don't anyway)

I really like this guy, not met him but things i have read and heard from others - I would definitely try it if you could.

Best of luck though.XX
 
I feel for you :(
I've been over horsed before, lost my confidence, and it utterly destroys everything and every incentive you have.
7 years is a long time, a very long time.

I think, the Micheal Peace idea is good, but it's pricey and if you well and truly feel like you've had enough, I would go and buy a horse you can really have fun on. That way you can both be happy.

I hope you are happy, whatever decision you decide.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top