overhorsed........

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Parkranger

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Well I had a potential sharer try the boy last night and he was a bloody nightmare! I rode him for about 15 minutes and then the girl got on. She was a nice rider and was making him work but he was getting quite frustrated with the whole ordeal.

Watching him being ridden by someone else just made me feel that maybe I just can't give the time and committment, nor am I a good enough rider to help him turn the corner.

I love that horse so bloody much and he's got me through such a bad patch but I'm really wondering whether I need to sell him on and get something that's not going to demand the time and skill to get him going properly.

Feel quite sick actually but think it's been a long time coming.

Pointless point really but just such a hideous decision to make.

x
 
But what do you want to do with him? Do you want to go round in circles in the school every day. Or do you want a horse to go out and have fun with??

I think it can be so easy to get frustrated - when sometines there's just no need.

It sounds to me as if you are having several crises at the moment - which is never a good time to make decisions........... ((((((((( )))))))))
 
How long u had this horsey, is he quite young? Could this girl improve him for you, esp as she's seen and ridden him at his worst? If so why jump out of the frying pan etc etc especially if you really like this horse. Does he have the potential to achieve what you want if you want to compete?

You could spend lots of time and money searching for another when sometimes 'better the devil you know' applies and you could channel that time and money into this one.

In 12 months time your circumstances could well have changed giving you more time and ready cash, Id think some more and get her to try him again
 
I have to agree with AmyMay here and also add that I constantly read and hear of problems that people are having in schools with their horses not going well, not forward, hard work, frustrated etc etc. I have to say that some horse just cannot stand doing work in a school and that sometimes you can get more out of a horse and not have so many difficulties by chanelling them in other ways and doing what they do find interesting...I get the impression you might be having similar problems and that is why you could feel overhorsed...but that does not mean you can't still have fun or that you are not in control. He has obviously got something that is right or he would not have got you through your bad patch would he?
Don't make rash decisions...try taking him out of the school...how do you feel then, with no pressure to 'perform'?
 
Maybe he just finds schooling boring. Pickle is really lazy and pretty awful in the school, but adores hacking which makes everything worth while, if you two do other things together that you both enjoy I am sure you will find that you are not overhorsed
 
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Can't really add much, but was in a similar position to you a few years ago, I kept struggling with the horse for another year, before selling him and getting Megs. I deliberately wanted a younger one to bring on so that it was still a challenge and interesting, but one that was a bit saner and easier to handle in all respects.

((hugs)) it's a horrible decision to be making. PM me if you want
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We hack out at weekends but due to me working full time he has to be schooled in the week.

Some of you may have read the nightmares we had over the winter - his personality changed and I'm still trying to get my confidence again.

Problem is I'm a very stubborn person and don't want to feel as though I've been beaten. I just don't know if we're both enjoying this process anymore!
 
It is nearly the end of the winter now, so he will probably go back to being the horse you enjoy again?? I would try with the sharer and see how he is for another few months.
 
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It is nearly the end of the winter now, so he will probably go back to being the horse you enjoy again?? I would try with the sharer and see how he is for another few months.

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I know what you mean but I can't bear all that again in the winter and will be dreading it!

Think I've more or less made up my mind now - no matter how much I love him I have to do what's best for both of us x
 
Stimpy you nutter

Why dont you let me come and have a look at him at the weekend? It would be nice to meet him anyway and we can see what you think about someone you sort of know on him.

It is crap through the winter, I have not seen Bruce all of this week (first day today, which is crap) but I pay someone to lunge him twice a week and school him once a week. Could you not ask Mangobiscuit to help you out?

I dont think that you are overhorsed by the sounds of things, I just think that the realisation of horse ownership may be hitting and it is something that we all go through hon - the sods law that you have to work to keep the horse but by working you dont actually get to see him as much as you like.

Lets get this sorted for you - I will help you out as much as I can x
 
Oh Stimpy I do feel for you, it sounds like your head is pretty confused at the moment.

I would def take FF up on her kind offer, sometimes its nice to get an ouside opinion from someone you know.
 
thanks FF! I think the odds are stacked against me. I was very niave to think that a green TB wouldn't need alot of attention/dedication and money.

TBH, I think I've made up my mind - I've been fighting with it since christmas now but there comes a time when you have to do what's best for everyone involved x
 
I will support her in whatever she chooses to do with Ty and have just told her how I feel - but ultimately it's down to her.

Echoing what you've said, I am very happy to help in any way I can with him - I am very attached to him too and he's my horse's best buddy
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Unfortunately, Stimps has encountered more than her fair share of "issues" with Ty in the short time they have been a partnership and I don't think they've had a chance to just enjoy each other - she'll know what the right thing to do is.

Hugs honey bun
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ahhh you guys - stop it, I'm getting all emotional! Very lucky to have such supportive friends xxx

PS - if I do sell him you know i'll be hassling you both for exercising duties!
 
If the livery etc was no issue I'd have him like a shot (have to start playing the lottery)

Stimpy,you have SO MUCH goin on in your life with career and music (oh and new man
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) - courtesy of moi
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that you should be able to go up and enjoy time with horses- at the moment I get the feeling it's all pressurised when you're up there...........Just think that maybe a loan might be an idea and then if/when you're in more of a position to enjoy him timewise he's there!!!??? But I know there'sc ons to this too.....bit of a crap situation sweetie.

Well there's always Mr Winks and Brucie
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x
 
A relationship with a horse is like any other relationship - you need to get something back for the effort you are putting in. Maybe now would be a good time to make the break and start everything over again. I don't know, but you do seem to spend more time agonising over Ty than actually enjoying him. I apologise if I have got that hideously wrong, but horses are such a vast expense and commitment, you really do need to find 'the one'.
 
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A relationship with a horse is like any other relationship - you need to get something back for the effort you are putting in. Maybe now would be a good time to make the break and start everything over again. I don't know, but you do seem to spend more time agonising over Ty than actually enjoying him. I apologise if I have got that hideously wrong, but horses are such a vast expense and commitment, you really do need to find 'the one'.

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Sooty you've hit the nail squarely on the head (as usual)

I'm also trying to buy my own place and have to be realistic that i'll be struggling financially as well as timewise. I haven't been putting the time I should into my band and that's just rubbish - we have a very good chance of making it and I really need to focus on that aswell.

Just such a sad decision to make but if i move emotions out of the picture, it really is a foregone conclusion.

I don't want to give up riding though - couldn't bear that. Just lucky that i have friends with lovely horses
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I had the same problem with my horse. I had had him for almost 3 yrs and was really stuck in a rut- we just don't seem to get on. I took the decision to call it a day with him as he just wasn't the horse for me. It was really difficult as he is such a nice horse to deal with but it got to the point where I really didn't want to ride him. He is now on loan (with view to buy later in the year) to a girl who adores him and gets on really well with him. She emails be each week with news on him and frankly, its a weight off my mind.
 
Charlie you're lucky you found a good loaner! I think I'd rather try and sell him to the right home - I'd be buggered if they wanted to give him back in say 6 months as I'd be up to my eyeballs with a mortgage by then......
 
I would go with it then, after having thought it over again and again, then feeling very guilty I decided that it was costing too much time and money to keep a horse that I really didn't enjoy riding. I have now got another horse who is far more straight forward!
 
I do think you'll be better to sell him. he deserves someone who has the time and money to plough into him, and you deserve to be able to come away from the yard with a smile on your face.
Sell him on, and save for something a bit more experienced that you don't have to put so much intensive work into. Something that would be okay being wintered out perhaps, and you could still do riding club with?
I've followed your time with Ty and think you've got amazing stickability, with a situation alot of people would have got fed up with long ago.
You've always put Ty first, no matter what, and you're dedicated. he's been lucky to have you.
maybe now's the time to swallow your pride (perhaps?) and move foward for the both of you.
 
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maybe now's the time to swallow your pride (perhaps?) and move foward for the both of you.

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So right hun. Also my situation at work is changing and I may have to commute into the city - even less time! x
 
Hi,

I bought my TB about the same time as you, I think I got mine a month earlier and I know what you are going though with regard to changing personality and just general odd behaviour. As far as I can gather that's the price of having a TB! Yes I know there are sensible ones out there I had one before and most of the time my boy is great although he won't load and can't be clipped and is a nightmare to hackout (too spooky on his own, too excited with another horse). If you don't have the time to give Ty the attention he needs and you are not happy to loan him then he is probably better off being sold. It sounds as though you have made your decision anyway so best of luck and if you ever want to ride a nutty TB you are welcome to come and have a go on mine, we are in Surrey too.
 
Why don't you find a couple of people to share him with you. When I was in London that is exactly what I did. Both my sharers used to hack him out and have lessons and the other hacked him out. The horse was happy as he was excercised at least one if not twice during the day and I would ride him after work or at the weekends when I was about.
 
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Hi,

I bought my TB about the same time as you, I think I got mine a month earlier and I know what you are going though with regard to changing personality and just general odd behaviour. As far as I can gather that's the price of having a TB! Yes I know there are sensible ones out there I had one before and most of the time my boy is great although he won't load and can't be clipped and is a nightmare to hackout (too spooky on his own, too excited with another horse). If you don't have the time to give Ty the attention he needs and you are not happy to loan him then he is probably better off being sold. It sounds as though you have made your decision anyway so best of luck and if you ever want to ride a nutty TB you are welcome to come and have a go on mine, we are in Surrey too.

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Thanks hun - may need the occasionally TB fix! x
 
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Why don't you find a couple of people to share him with you. When I was in London that is exactly what I did. Both my sharers used to hack him out and have lessons and the other hacked him out. The horse was happy as he was excercised at least one if not twice during the day and I would ride him after work or at the weekends when I was about.

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Not as easy as it sounds - Ty is quite green and people would rather have something with experience to share - and quite rightly!
 
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