Overhorsed

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Smogul

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Why do people overhorse themselves? There have been two cases of this recently on the yard. One fortunately realised very quickly that an excitable 9 year old showjumper wasn't the right horse for someone needing a quiet hack that allowed them to brush up their own rusty riding skills while escorting her daughter out on her pony. She has swapped the 9 year old for an enchanting 17 year old whose idea of a major spook is to stop, snort disapprovingly at the offending object, then walk on. Confidence of mother and daughter is increasing daily.
The other case is worse. After a year of riding lessons, woman has bought a competition-ready 7 year old Warmblood. After three months, she is terrified and the horse is confused and upset, with the consequence that its behaviour is deteriorating. YM and instructor have suggested she sell the horse and look for something more suitable. She insists that if she sticks to a rigid routine and spends time "bonding" with the horse, all will be well.
How can you help someone who won't listen and seems to forget that having a horse is an expensive and timeconsuming hobby that she is meant to enjoy?
 
i don't know. My mantra is always to underhorse yourself as it's much easier to feed 'spark' and to exercise a horse into a lovely responsive animal than to calm down something or get used to a 'buzzier' animal. I guess people have an image in their heads of how they want to be on a horse and what horse they need to achieve that, but the ability doens't always fit the ideal!
 
true. sellers can be unscrupulous and convince people they can ride a horse they evidently can't. Went to look at one a few years ago for my novice husband. i rode first, thought the mare was too sharp. Dealer convinced me she was 'better with novices'. foolishly let OH try her and within 5 mins was out the side door with a broken back.
 
Spangie said:
true. sellers can be unscrupulous and convince people they can ride a horse they evidently can't.
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No not at all.

I bought a wonderful horse a few years ago to do a bit of everything with. Ultimately totally over horsed myself as I couldn't hunt him or XC him - he was just too strong.

That wasn't the sellers fault, nor particularly mine - just one of those things.
 
I over horsed myself by accident once as well, it was no ones fault, just one of those things.

It did work out in the end though, as I really liked her but it took about a year.
 
I am overhorsed and will happily admit it. However I love my horse desperately and have experienced and professional support. Plus she is completely unsaleable she doesn't load, she won't hack alone and has problems with her feet. Top that all off with a quirky personality that only a mother could love and I can only see her either winding up passed from pillar to post, at a horrible dealers or at market. Would never forgive myself so she is here to stay :) I don't think people overhorse themselves on purpose a lot of people rule by their heart rather than their head :/ or listen too much to other people and not themselves amoungst many other reasons. Mine was I met a horse and fell head over heels I just had to have her in my life and despite the tears, tumbles and broken confidence I wouldn't swop her for any other horse I just have to get better :) however if I didn't have the bond I have with her I would probably feel she might be better suited to someone who understands her.
 
AmiRobertson said:
if I didn't have the bond I have with her I would probably feel she might be better suited to someone who understands her.
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Just out of interest, how does the horse feel about it? In this case, there is also an unhappy confused horse who will rapidly become unsaleable without major reschooling - think rearing and napping.
 
She is perfectly happy. A lot of other people would of punished her for some of her behaviour I have found all of it to be pain (despite the huge vet bills) It's difficult to explain with her I have had several behaviourists and professionals see her and most have found her unwilling to their methods and most have said they have never met a horse as stubborn as her. She was unsaleable when I bought her I was just too novice to see that. I have a fantastic instructor and equine behaviourist now that is helping me with her.
 
AmiRobertson said:
he was unsaleable when I bought her I was just too novice to see that. I have a fantastic instructor and equine behaviourist now that is helping me with her.
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I am glad for you and that you have good people who you are listening to. In this case the owner isn't listening to the advice and a perfectly nice young horse is slowly being ruined.
It would be great if someone could get the owner to listen. YM is at stage of washing her hands of the whole matter, instructor and equine physio don't know what to do... Phsyio says there is nothing wrong with the horse, just the rider.

Last night I found owner crying in car park as the horse's behaviour had scared her so much.
 
That's awful smogul. From the perspective of someone who often has the "why don't you sell her and get something easier" or "no one would blame you if you put it to sleep" thrown at her every week it's very very hard to see something that you love as disposable (to be fair my life would be easier without my horse haha) what has she tried so far? Maybe a change in instructor or she pays someone to school this horse and then has some schoolmaster lessons.
 
Also how long has she had the horse? If its still early days there is still a chance she may get better. But she does need professional help
 
Probably people telling her that she was wrong to buy the horse etc etc isn't helping her to look at things objectively either.

Ultimately the owner needs to realise for herself that she is in over her head and not feel as if she is just being dictated to by other people. it's a shame that the horse has to suffer while on this is going on.
 
AmiRobertson said:
what has she tried so far? Maybe a change in instructor or she pays someone to school this horse and then has some schoolmaster lessons.
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Owner would have to accept that she is the problem! YM was schooling the horse twice a week but says she can't see the point of carrying on. Horse came from a professional dressage yard and is too young and immature to cope with a wobbly rider who gives confusing leg aids. Owner fell off the one the one time the horse went into canter which totally confused the horse.
Why can't she see it from the horse's point of view? However much she "loves" the horse, it is never going to be a partnership made in heaven. To me, true care for the horse would say SELL
 
madlady said:
Probably people telling her that she was wrong to buy the horse etc etc isn't helping her to look at things objectively either.

Ultimately the owner needs to realise for herself that she is in over her head and not feel as if she is just being dictated to by other people. it's a shame that the horse has to suffer while on this is going on.
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I agree but owner is suffering too!
 
She is also probably having to get to grips with the reality of horse ownership! And I found the opinions and views of fellow liveries mind boggling, over bearing and isolating. She is probably embarrassed and heart broken that her dreams of horse ownership are in tatters at this present moment.
 
My horse is more horse than I intended. Its not that I can't ride her, its just that I wanted something marginally less mad so I could have fun but not worry about what she would do next. However, she is also very talented and probably worth the hassle. Hopefully she will mature into a nice horse and a school mistress for my daughter (ten years down the line!). Luckily I have a more sensible type for escorting my daughter on her pony otherwise I would be tearing my hair out.
 
Buy a Cleveland Bay, a well handled 3 year old if you can find one. get it professionally backed, as you will not pay a fortune for the horse, you can afford to do that.

You will have a quiet hack and a talented riding club horse who won't cost you an arm and a leg in vet bills, won't need lots of expensive feed and will give you years of happy hacking.
 
I went through this with good friend. I said nothing but any help that was asked of me I gave. Waited until I was asked as I didn't want to interfere. Only offered my opinion that she would be happier with another horse when she specifically asked me what I thought. Said it once, & have never repeated it because ultimately it is the owners decision.

Support the lady, because if she has people coming at her from all directions telling her what's best for her life will be very confusing. If she asks for support, give it, but be someone she can talk to without being lectured at. If she then asks what you think, you can say, but otherwise it's not your horse. If you feel something should be said, it should come from your YO.
 
Rollin said:
Buy a Cleveland Bay, a well handled 3 year old if you can find one. get it professionally backed, as you will not pay a fortune for the horse, you can afford to do that.

You will have a quiet hack and a talented riding club horse who won't cost you an arm and a leg in vet bills, won't need lots of expensive feed and will give you years of happy hacking.
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Bit of a generalisation!
 
Rollin said:
Buy a Cleveland Bay, a well handled 3 year old if you can find one. get it professionally backed, as you will not pay a fortune for the horse, you can afford to do that.

You will have a quiet hack and a talented riding club horse who won't cost you an arm and a leg in vet bills, won't need lots of expensive feed and will give you years of happy hacking.
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Really? ? The only Cleveland Bays I've met - and to be fair, I've only met 3 - have been nappy, idle horses that reared. I wouldn't damn the whole breed from my experience, but I find it hard to accept your statement :/
 
It's a very difficult position for someone to be in. The truth is really hard to hear because I am sure this owner wanted this horse as much as any of us wanted ours and is finding it difficult to see the reality of her situation because it is so painful. Realistically she only has two options, either sell and hope to buy something more suitable or put the horse on training livery and have one lesson on the horse and one lesson on a schoolmaster a week while the horse is brought on by a professional.

It's an easy mistake to make, some sellers lie, some buyers are not aware of their abilities (or lack thereof!), some horses present differently at the viewing, some challenges seem surmountable but are not. It's not easy to buy the right horse.
 
Sorry OP a bit off topic with my last post.

It's very difficult as an outsider to watch car crash horse ownership but unless you are asked for advice or help, I'm not sure what you can do.

The YO is the only one in a position of authority to voice her opinion. Did the poor over horsed woman not take advice on the purchase?
 
pip6 said:
I went through this with good friend. I said nothing but any help that was asked of me I gave. Waited until I was asked as I didn't want to interfere. Only offered my opinion that she would be happier with another horse when she specifically asked me what I thought. Said it once, & have never repeated it because ultimately it is the owners decision.

Support the lady, because if she has people coming at her from all directions telling her what's best for her life will be very confusing. If she asks for support, give it, but be someone she can talk to without being lectured at. If she then asks what you think, you can say, but otherwise it's not your horse. If you feel something should be said, it should come from your YO.
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Very well put, having just been through it myself and having finally admitted defeat with my horse, it is true that throughout the journey all I wanted was help and support. I didn't need people to tell me that he wasn't the horse for me because deep down I already knew. It is a terrible predicament to be in.
 
Sorry .. I think it's slightly unfair on the owner in op .. Yes she may well have bought a horse beyond her riding skills ..yes she may be stuggling .. But my hats goes off to her for trying to work though things .. It's easy to buy a horse and say nope don't on with it ..and sell .. But not easy to work on improvement .. So maybe the instructor ..should take horse and rider back to basics ..starting with walk and halt .. And build on the partnership .. ? Got to be able to walk before u can canter :) .. And maybe hacking with another rock steady horse ..and get the instructor/ yo to school the horse ;) maybe the owner should book a few lessons on a more established horse ? So many options to try before giving up ..if she really wants to work on things ..end if the day her horse her money ..so the buck stops with her .. :)
 
Smogul said:
How can you help someone who won't listen and seems to forget that having a horse is an expensive and timeconsuming hobby that she is meant to enjoy?
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You don't. It's their money and it's up to them what they decide to do with their money and how they go about enjoying their hobby. I see mismatched rider/horse combinations often but it's not my place to tell them to sell the horse. They have to come round to this way of thinking themselves. Unfortunately (for the horse usually) it often comes too late. I'm sure we've all heard the stories 'but I have such a good bond with horse' or 'it would end up in the meat wagon if I sold it' or 'no-one else could ride it or get it to do this or that' blah blah, it's only themselves that they're kidding and in many situations it's the horse I feel sorry for because I know fine well that with a more experienced rider the horse could shine. However I shut my trap and leave them to it.
 
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