Overstretched Lifestyle? How and Why??

Elsbells

Elsbells

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From reading another thread, it's left me wondering.

I work very PT and have 1 horse on a fantastic DIY livery which is litraley just up the road. Even so, I seem to rush around with my domestic chores just so I can spend hours and hours with Ellie and my OH complains that I'm behaving like a pony mad kid!

I spend masses of time just faffing and playing with my horse as well as riding every day and we have a very close relationship. I can't imagine having another horse as well as her, or why would I?
So........why do a lot of owners who work full-time, have small children to bring up and are under a lot of financial restraints, have so many? I'm not knocking as it's all to their own, but Ellie is my first horse and I'm wondering how you get from the one and then find yourself with the many and life stretched to the max and should I be cautious? Accident or intentional???
 
I only have (and want) Oscar I dont feel I could have the same bond with another horse ever!! Let alone the time or finances!!! (He is slightly spoilt!!) But everyone is different :)
 
I'm in the same position as yourself, I left my part time job a couple of years ago simply because I wanted more time to spend with my horse and dogs and caring for the family.

I think adding to equine numbers is quite easily done, and I have had to be quite firm with myself when I've been offered horses or seen nice youngsters for sale, simply because if I got another I'd have to go out to work to pay for it and that would leave me with the no time conundrum! Like you I also enjoy the one to one relationship with a single horse, and after working with lots of horses in the past I really appreciate it.

I honestly don't know how some folks do it, they must be seriously dedicated or mad!
 
I have a more than full time job, commute an hour each way, have 2 kids & have 3!
Well that is exagerating a bit because my kids are older & the one that rides does the evening horse chores. Also 1 is my son's very old pony who just gets ridden occasionally by a little girl.
It is tough in the winter & I don't get to spend as much time with the horses as I would like. I cope by neglecting the house & a lot of my leave gets used up for farrier, vets etc.
 
I have a full time job, 2 kids a home to run, a dog and 2 cats and one horse - I simply could not find the time to commmit to another one and I honestly think if I got any other animals my OH would leave me :D The kids are 14 and 11 and are at that age where clubs and friends are a major part of their lives and I spend a good deal of time driving them here there and everywhere. I suppose once they are older, I will have more time and could possibly get another horse.:D
 
I too started out with just the one until my pony mad daughter begged and begged for her own. She eventually grew out of her and we got her a 15h horse but because of that bond I just can't bring myself to sell her first little pony. it would be like selling a member of the family and just thinking about writing the ad makes me cry! Obviously, my daughter helps lots with the horse jobs but looking after 3 neddies takes up lots of my spare time. My house sometimes looks like it's been burgled (it hasn't yet!) as housework is the job I seem to run out of time to do.

If I didn't have the kids, i would still only have the one horse and a tidy house so i blame the kids!
 
i have two but they are like one really!! Can lead together (with one hand if necessary!) can tie up to the same point if needed, can ride and lead, can stick them in a stable together (although not for long as 15.2hh + 16.2hh take up quite a bit of room!!) I got the 16.2 after 9 years of having the 15.2 and she wasn't up to doing very much anymore. (Try telling her that now nearly 7 years later!!!) I don't have enough time to ride them both as much as I'd like but they both still get ridden a hell of a lot more than anything else at my yard! If I could be bothered I could get up earlier and ride one before work and one after! Although it does help that I can ride and lead in walk trot and canter and even open and close gates mounted! Just have limited routes I can do this on. So its not really like 2!! Wouldn't part with either now. My girlies are fab!! :)
 
OK, I work part time that often runs into full time, have 3 small grandchildren that live with me full time, and 18 yo, dogs, cat, geese and hens and 13 assorted horses and ponies! When we got the ponies the children weren't with us and I would have never ended up in the position we are in had I known what the future held. We had the horses and other animals at home and managed fine both winter and summer with lots of time to give the attention needed. Since the girls arrived last summer we have struggled all the time meeting the needs of the animals alongside the needs of the girls, school runs, homework, social services meetings, parties, not to mention the increase in work at home caused by the addition of a small family! The problem I have is that when we bought the ponies we bought them for life and I will never sell them on, the horses are Martin's so I have no say over them. I also don't know what will happen in the future where the girls are concerned, it could be that they are back with their mum anytime over the next 10 years or so and I don't want to remove the good things from my life. I worry that they do not get enough attention, the poor hens and geese are currently in most of the time since the fox attack earlier in the year and only get out when I can be there to supervise them whereas when they were at home with us they ran free range. The horses are checked, cuddled, and fed if necessary, twice daily at a minimum and then we do everything else whenever we get a chance to do it. We haven't ridden in over a year really apart from odd sessions in the school that are kept short because we try to do as many as possible at a time. The show ponies haven't been in the ring for over a year because the logistics of getting them to a show is just too much to deal with. So...........it is not ideal, it is incredibly hard work but the horses are happy as they run in established herds, the girls are happy because they are with me rather than strangers so we just have to plod on in the hope that it will all get easier as they get older.
 
I work full time and have 2 horses. Not intentionally, my old boy fractured his leg so I bought another horse to compete on. I would never sell my old boy, he owes me nothing and I want him to have a nice happy retirement with me. Once he has gone I wont buy another, I will be more than happy with just 1 horse. But im not complaining I wouldn't change my boys for the world!
I dont have children so im not as stretched as most people on here, but I would have far more time on my hands with only the 1 horse!
 
Sometimes you start off under-stretched and circumstances change unexpectedly? For a few, selling your horses is the only option and not too traumatic. For others, like me, parting with them simply isn't something I could do.

Should things get any worse, I have no idea how I would manage to keep them - but keep them I would and sacrifices would have to be made.
 
Overstretched lifestyle! Yup, understatement of the year!

I don't have kids, but I have a dog grooming business (which means working about 40 hours in the shop plus another 10 hours or so at home doing admin stuff). It's physically starting to take a toll on me and I go home sometimes too knackered to get out of the car (I sit there for about five minutes waiting for the pain to leave my legs). Then I come in, play with the dogs (I have three) for a bit and then I'm off to the horse for a few hours to ride, muck out, do up nets. Home again to make dinner, tidy up etc, maybe do some stuff in the garden...then bed for an early rise to go and do the horse again in the morning (he's stabled at the moment and completely DIY). I seem to have forgotten how to have a social life, but I manage it at times (for example, I invited a friend round for lunch in my shop the other day-- we munched sandwiches I made in my wee kitchen there while gossiping and waving the flying hair from landing in our cups of tea - glamorous, eh???).

My house is a tip as I spend all my "cleaning energy" doing chores at the shop and yard. I'm usually pretty skint as dog grooming is never going to make me rich, and what money I do have goes in to housekeeping and horsekeeping. My husband was feeling rather neglected til he started golfing again, so now he feels less "left at home" and is busy doing his own thing. But that also means that some of chores he usually does get done later and less frequently, too.
 
I have 6 but look after 7, I also have three children under 7. We got our first pony 20 months ago so the girls could ride which was great, he then needed a friend in the field so 4 months later we got another one , he was not backed and is currently going through his training. I planned on getting my own horse but I wanted to leave it till september of that year, as it turned out I got him in june last year.

For me the worst part of this was two days after I got him (he is my dream horse) a so could friend called to say could I cheak on her pony, who had lami very bad, so I spent the next 3 months looking after her, and got dumped with her. (my oh sister has her now).

next came stormy he is now 13 months old, I adore him. We got him because the girls will need something bigger and I want something that it if it has problems, it is our fault no one elses.

Around this time my mum got hers, we look after him he will be backed this year.


We then got two other yearlings, in the space of two or so months.



We do not struggle at all, my house is tidy, my kids are showered every day and have clean clothes, all school/club stuff is done on time.

The horses are all on diy, from nov till march they are stabled seven weeks before xmas I do it all on my own. I only have one out 24/7.


I dont feel overstretched at all ...................

I also work, ohh the only thing I dont do is the ironing.............

I would not have them if I thought I could not care and look after them, it is all well planned.
 
I work full time (but have no kids) and have 2 horses and 2 dogs.

One horse is on full livery and has a fab loaner who more or less looks after him now, so I just go up once or twice a week to see him. He's just a happy hacker now.

My other horse (Pony) is on grass livery 10 mins walk from homw. I have to ride him just about every day to keep his weight down - and even when not riding I go up and groom etc. I usually get home around 7 then have to take the two rug rats for a walk.

I work 10 mins drive away from home and as I'm a teacher can often get out at a decent time.

I've got the 2 as my 1st horse is just a happy hacker now and I wanted something to compete on.

I wouldn;t be able to do it all with kids though - or a less understanding hubby.!! We don't go out that often and have acleaner once a fortnight as I really don't have the eneregy or inclination to do it myself!!
 
Its a differance of opinions - if i had one horse i could spend hours shopping, doing house work, going out for girlie treats ie nails, hair, beauty treatments, spend hours on face book, reading, going out with my friends travelling etc.

I choose to have 3 horses - the reason i get up in a morning and why i fall into bed tired at night - i have chosen a full time job that fits in with my 3 - i work 7.45 until 3.45. one is my "old retainer" whom is still as loved as ever - ok not groomed to an inch of her life every day but still brushed, scratched and made to feel part of things - the other 2 - one is for dressage and one is a fun horse to go on rides, one day event, hunter trial and do all the things i did as a girl on.

My hubby is a work a holic - hardly ever see him - and by having the horses he is happy that i am not sitting around board, with no ambitons becoming a fan of jeremy kyle or hitting the white wine at 5pm on a night - and tbh that is what i woudl probably do - i would become a fatty in a lesuire suit

so we dont always overstretch our life style its just opinion. Now where i call overstreteched is folks juggling the credit go round just to have the latest thing - or have multi horses to show off with - or having a fantastic box all on the never never then wondering what on earth to do when the vets bill comes in - but hey ho horses for courses and all that

gw
 
We have 2 horses, both on full livery at the moment due to Elizabeth's exams and my illness. However they are usually on part livery, I work 1 hour away from them, 45 minutes from home, as a teacher. We spend almost all weekend with them, especially in the winter when turnout is limited. House work gets done to fit in with our lives and is not the be all and end all. I started off with one and thought that was it but then Elizabeth wanted to hack out more, which Cappy hates so we got Fany. Luckily we have a great YO and she makes it easier.

At times I do feel over stretched but tbh I would not change anything and they are with us for life.
 
Im 17 and work full time with a horse and pony. I pay for them both myself, well the person who I bought the pony with doesnt want him anymore but is still paying her half for him until I find someone to part loan him, and they are on DIY and I dont drive. But its very easy for me as I live onsite where I work and the yard they are at is just a minute walk down the road. I start work at 6 till 1ish, then start again at 4 till about 6, so I have that 3 hours in the middle of the day to spend time with them, although they are very easy to look after, both live out 24/7 rugless and only Ethel gets fed. I ride Ethel about 3 times a week for 10-15mins as she is only 3, and Henry gets lunged nearly everyday because hes fat and needs a lot of time spent with him as hes really nervous, but I'm planning to get him ridden so its easier to find a loaner for him. It does get a bit tight for money at times especially as at the moment I'm paying Ethel's vet bill and have had to pay for my theory test and some more driving lessons as well as other things I have to pay for. I may have to sell Henry, but its not something I want to do and I will try to keep hold of him, but if it comes to it then it will have to be done.
 
I think it can also depend on whether you have your own land/stables or pay livery. I don't think I would have more than 1 horse if i had to pay livery, in fact I don't know if we'd have really got into horses so much if we'd had to pay that as i don't know where livery fees would have come from.

As it is we have our own land so that monthly cost of livery doesn't apply. Yes you obvioulsy have the general 'running costs' of the horses - farrier, vaccinations etc but it's minimal compare with paying £100+ a month for livery plus feed etc.

At one stage we had about 8 horses/ponies but over the years they have died/been sold and we are now just left with 4, two oldies/semi retired and two who actually work for their living! One horse I ride and compete and my mum hacks out and the other is my sister's. I guess i am lucky as mum does part of the feeding and general looking after and so do me and my sister plus they live out 24/7 all spring summer with only 2 coming in at night in winter so it's not really very hard work. i think you can make having horses easier and to suit your circumstances.

I do not have an OH or any kids though so if that did happen maybe it would be more difficult - maybe I would put the kids on 'livery'! ha ha ha
 
Having just the one to focus your time/energy/money on is fab, but if you end up with one that's not rideable, you're a bit stuck.

I currently have two horses. The older girl is my first horse (now 24, owned her for over 13 years) and she is primarily my mother's hack, although I borrow her a bit at the mo :p My younger girl has only just turned 9, and is/was my dream horse, but she is now unrideable and has been as of last year :( :( She will *hopefully* be put in foal shortly, but even if all goes well there, that still leaves me with nothing to ride for a good 5 years :(

Fortunately, I have my girl insured for LOU and with the pay out from that I am going to buy another riding horse. All this (hopefully) means that in the next year we will be going from 2 to 4 :eek: But as my mother and I both want something to ride, (and to be able to ride together, not taking it in turns :p) and we want to look after the broken girl, that's what we shall do. It helps that we rent our own little yard (although I do pay per horse atm) and my feed bills are minimal.

In the past, with my ex, I had a yard with up to 16 to see to daily, and when I left him I took 6 with me. That really was too many to divide my time between, especially as I also worked at a livery yard, caring for another 12 per day! ;) I think more than one can easily be done, but I do know you can get to the stage where there's so many you are too busy to enjoy them, and I wouldn't like to get to that stage again :)
 
I work f/t in the City, so leave at 6.10 am & get home at 5.50 pm. I have 3 horses. Jenny is 37 & my grandad bought her as a 3 yo from his friend in 1976 for £200, so she's got a home here for as long as she wants one. I've got Adrian, a 7 yo ISH who has had the go slows for about 18 months; £5.5k of vet's bills later we are none the wiser & are now going down the iridology/herbal/shiatsu route. I am used to competing BS or BD most w'ends & was miserable not riding, so I bought an ex racer, Trev, in March to give me something to do.

I get up at 5.25 am & feed them etc before I leave, then when I get in, ride Trev followed by Adrian, who is doing 10 mins work a day to test the waters. Then gym, then piano, then admin for my writers' group. Thank goodness the horses live at home, & they've all learnt to be easy to do.

The key is to get on with it, not sit about. And to sort the house out at the w'end & turn a blind eye during the rest of the week. Sometimes I'm rushing about like a mad thing & think that I really ought to stop doing something, but when I think it though, I *want* to do all of it!

I did tell my husband that if Adrian recovers, I'll decide which one I want to keep out of him & Trev & sell the other, but tbh I'm quite enjoying having a 'spare', so I might 'forget' I said it!
 
I find myself stretched, not so much financially but energy and timewise. I live about 30 mins away from my family home (where I work for my mum basically full time during uni holidays and part-time during term) and this is where we keep 2 horses and 2 ponies. Cosmo was my 3rd or 4th birthday present but I grew out of him and we couldn't bear to part with him. Inca was my happy hacker, bought when I was about 16, but arthritis meant she needed to be retired and we have kept her ever since. In October we got Belle so that I could actually ride again and then in April we got Cookie the shetland to keep Cosmo company when on restricted grazing. We just sort of end up collecting them!

The bonus for me is that they all live out 24/7 on my parents land so there is very little maintenance required, and I only ride about 2 - 3 times a week. My parents also feed them when I am busy or at least one day of the weekend when I stay home. Having said that, I do still find it a struggle to work for most of the day, then feed and care for the neddies, drive the 30 mins home, cook the dinner etc. Belle was a ridiculous choice and has made things harder but I made a commitment by taking her on so will persevere for as long as it takes or as long as I can cope.

I am absolutely baffled as to how some people manage to care for horses who are stabled when they have full-time jobs and families. Maybe I'm just a bit lazy. :P
 
I think it does depend on how you want to live your life. My life is seriously overstretched, and I wouldnt have it any other way. My job is a Director of a fairly large chain of estate/lettings agents, it work god knows how many hours in the week and spend god knows how many more hours on the laptop. I am also the chairman of a large local trade association and have just been voted onto the committee of Mini TXs Pony Club as secretary. On top of this I do have an OH (who is mainly pretty good about things), Mini TX of course and our horses - one is my 17 year old happy hacker, Barney and of course Mini TX's eventer. Both ponies are on part livery as we enjoy looking after them and YO is pretty understanding if we need halp.

The only way I cope is having an OH who totally supports everything. He is fantastic over my career, and understand the long hours, meetings and a business partner who is very demanding of his wife's time! Also, Mini TX is great with the horses. When I am just too wiped out to even want to know she will go and do my horse and ride him as well, plus turn out etc. I did think of selling my old boy as he gets ridden about 3-4 times a week, but gets a good old fuss and groom every day, and I did wonder if he would be better off with someone who would do more with him. However, two things changed my mind. One was business partner who I discussed it with. He said that I should never sell him as when I talked about my horse my whole face lit up. The second was that while I was having a debate in my mind about selling or not, I was actualy grooming, Barney. From somewhere the words came into my head 'Dont send me away. I really am happy. I dont want to leave you'. I dont know where they came from, or did I imagine it, but no I wont be sellin him ever. I love my life with both the horses and my job and overstretched that I am, I would not have it any other way.
 
Thinking about it... I'm married, have 2 children (11 & 5), work full time, hubby works shifts so I have to fetch and carry to childcare etc, 2 dogs, 3 cats, Peds on DIY Livery a couple of miles away, work is 15 miles each way, with hubby working shifts I'm often home solo-mio... how I / we manage, I have absolutely no idea. How I managed with 3 horses, I have NO idea... you just do!
 
Thinking about it... I'm married, have 2 children (11 & 5), work full time, hubby works shifts so I have to fetch and carry to childcare etc, 2 dogs, 3 cats, Peds on DIY Livery a couple of miles away, work is 15 miles each way, with hubby working shifts I'm often home solo-mio... how I / we manage, I have absolutely no idea. How I managed with 3 horses, I have NO idea... you just do!
 
I work full time and have 2- they live out 24/7 all year round so there is no work to be done- you've addmitted to faffing- I just don't do that- They get groomed and sorted out will little fuss and because they live at home I can pop and see them whenever don't need to spend 10-20 min each way to see them. Our relationship is great and they are much loved- I'd have more if I could afford them as I find that they don't all need riding every day- plus each horse has a different character so I can pick whach one I fancy working with that day. :) I also have a high energy dog and high energy OH and we cope pretty well
 
I used to have two on DIY livery and it used to be non-stop as both competed so needed quite a bit of work. It did tend to be they were ridden but only the vital bits groomed or groomed really well another day and not ridden. Fortunately they were both quite easy going sorts.

I lived on my own but had yard friends who would ensure mine would not get left out on there own. Job was quite demanding and not very flexible and must admit I am sure by the end of the winter I used to be quite short tempered and tired.

That said current horse is at full livery now and I really miss doing the day to day stuff although it is really nice to be able to go away for a weekend or out for a day and not think have to be back by 5 or whatever to feed.

I really admire how hard some of the posters work, even when I was really busy I am not sure I ever had quite as long days as some of the people on here have routinely.
 
I have 7 ponies and a foal due any day now. I keep them at home and I also work from home so I have no travelling time or diesel cost either getting to the ponies or work. The ponies are in light work, it would be quite unusual for any of them to work more than 3 days a week each unless they are coming up to a big show. But that keeps them all ticking over. OH helps out with doing the stables most days and the only way I afford them is by not doing anything else. I don't have children, never really go out (apart from to shows) and don't go on holiday etc. I get the very occasional day in the middle of winter that I think how nice it would be to jump on a plane and go lay on a hot beach for a week but that never lasts long and even if I went after a couple of days I would miss them all and want to come home anyway :)
 
shadowboy said:
I work full time and have 2- they live out 24/7 all year round so there is no work to be done- you've addmitted to faffing- I just don't do that- They get groomed and sorted out will little fuss and because they live at home I can pop and see them whenever don't need to spend 10-20 min each way to see them. Our relationship is great and they are much loved- I'd have more if I could afford them as I find that they don't all need riding every day- plus each horse has a different character so I can pick whach one I fancy working with that day. :) I also have a high energy dog and high energy OH and we cope pretty well
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I do think that it is so much easier when the horses live at home. Sister and I have 3 and a friend's pony , we can pop out whenever we are at home to check on them and we do them before and after work, without having to make special arrangements about journeys and getting clean/changed etc. We did have 4 on DIY livery before we moved here but then there were 4 adults to share the work as well. Ours grew from one shared horse to 2 becasue we wanted to ride together, then to 3 because Dad wanted a driving pony, then to 4 because one had to be retired prematurely. Several horses later on it now feels strange not to have 'spare' horse to ride when one is off work or a friend wants to ride. We both have full-time jobs with long hours and fairly long journeys to get to them but have no children. We find that the horses are our relaxation after a hard day at work.
 
hch4971 said:
OK, I work part time that often runs into full time, have 3 small grandchildren that live with me full time, and 18 yo, dogs, cat, geese and hens and 13 assorted horses and ponies! When we got the ponies the children weren't with us and I would have never ended up in the position we are in had I known what the future held. We had the horses and other animals at home and managed fine both winter and summer with lots of time to give the attention needed. Since the girls arrived last summer we have struggled all the time meeting the needs of the animals alongside the needs of the girls, school runs, homework, social services meetings, parties, not to mention the increase in work at home caused by the addition of a small family! The problem I have is that when we bought the ponies we bought them for life and I will never sell them on, the horses are Martin's so I have no say over them. I also don't know what will happen in the future where the girls are concerned, it could be that they are back with their mum anytime over the next 10 years or so and I don't want to remove the good things from my life. I worry that they do not get enough attention, the poor hens and geese are currently in most of the time since the fox attack earlier in the year and only get out when I can be there to supervise them whereas when they were at home with us they ran free range. The horses are checked, cuddled, and fed if necessary, twice daily at a minimum and then we do everything else whenever we get a chance to do it. We haven't ridden in over a year really apart from odd sessions in the school that are kept short because we try to do as many as possible at a time. The show ponies haven't been in the ring for over a year because the logistics of getting them to a show is just too much to deal with. So...........it is not ideal, it is incredibly hard work but the horses are happy as they run in established herds, the girls are happy because they are with me rather than strangers so we just have to plod on in the hope that it will all get easier as they get older.
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Couldn't you have some of your ponies loaned to take some stress off you? Where about are you in the country? I really feel for you.
 
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