Panic Has set in over new horse

[Flibble]

Having spent months looking for Drifter now I have him I am in a flat panic. Stupid I know very very stupid.

So whats the problem. Me. I hadnt realised until I got him that some stupid bit of my brain thought he was magically going to be Gully.

He's only 5 and my timing at bringing him to the yard was crap. They have a ODE this week and because its wet all the horses are in. I cant hack out yet its too soon (we are next to a dual carriageway and so I spent his first day doing things quietly. Lunged him in school let him meet mirrors and sat on for 5 minutes when I had finished. Rang up to see if it was ok to use indoor arena at lunchtime today - absoloutly no guarantees as YO and daughters could turn up at anytime to ride their horses. Its a Riding School and Comp yard and they have a kids fun day today.

Suddenly all the nerves and anxiety of the last 12 months with Gully have come back in an avalanche. I had so longed for this horse and now I have got him I wish I had not bothered. He is such a nice boy but he isnt Gulliver and I feel mean that he cant be turned out yet. If there was a Time Machine I would just not bother anymore.

Sorru but I really do feel crap and I cant lumber my OH becuase he is being hit with the redundancy stick.

 

[AmyMay]

Hugs ((((((((( )))))))))). I felt very simliar when I first bought Thumper. It's such a nerve wracking time getting a new horse.

Got to say, I'd be so unhappy about not being able to get him out, and even unhappier that you were not being able to book a slot in the indoor.

Any options for better livery yards in the area that offer turnout??

 

[dixie]

Don't panic ! As your signature says "have a nice cup of tea". I'm sure everything will turn out fine, its takes time to build up a partnership. You've managed to lunge him and sit on him for 5 minutes so all is going well so far ! Can you lead him out anywhere for a pick of grass and have a little bonding time?

Try not to worry about not letting him out. If he was sent to a large dealers yard or similar he would have been in most of the time anyway. Obviously its not ideal but it seems you can't do much about it anyway.

I look forward to your posts about your progress in the next few weeks, even if its only that you've been on a nice hack!

 

[Flame_]

Even if the yard has a competition on surely the liveries have somewhere to ride? I'd be looking elsewhere if they banned turnout due to a bit of rain and brought a load extra customers in competing etc to make money taking away facilities from the people based there, that's ridiculous!

You need to get on and suss this horse out. If you can't press on and do it the nerves will build up and then you'll have a higher wall to climb. Is there an outdoor? Can you nip down at 9:00pm to use the facilities? If you can't give this young horse some work you will have problems and it won't be a fair test of the horse. Summon up a tough attitude and go work the horse. I'd wish you luck but you don't need it - you'll be fine!!!!

 

[xnaughtybutnicex]

aww *hugs* you're just panicking, give it a few weeks i'm sure you will be fine. Even if your not riding him just have some fun bonding with him, grooming, giving him treat and spoiling him.

 

[cob1]

I felt exactly the same earlier this year when i splashed out on a new cob after my TB had to be retired. I when i tried him (over the period of a fortnight) i felt fine on him at the dealers - but when i got him home i just lost my nerve (had to wait 3 weeks for a saddle which didnt help). I am slowly but surely getting there - although all i used to do was compare him to my old horse. Now i love him in his own right - especially when i come to get him in and he gallops to the field gate!!!!

Ditto what Amymay said about a different yard as well.

 

[skewby]

Oh, you poor thing! Look, I am sure you will be fine. Getting a new horse is such a big, exciting thing, I'm sure it's totally not surprising that there's often a feeling of "anticlimax" (had mine so long, I can't remember what I was like! I think I was petrified actually, no horse for 14 years then all of a sudden, this great big, living, breathing responsibility in front of me!).

Can you do as Dixie says, and just work on bonding at the moment? Grooming and scratching and just generally being around each other? This will probably make the eventual turn out and ride out even smoother too.

Don't beat yourself up about the timing, you may actually be feeling that the yard isn't quite right for you in general, not that the horse is!

One thing I have found, with horses and other animals, is that they are constantly getting under your skin without your realising it. I'm sure that's what's happening here, despite how you may feel at the moment. Once you can turn him out, and start doing things with him, you're going to feel a lot different. Best of luck! xxx

 

[Flibble]

Thank you all for your comments. I am doing some bonding stuff he is such a lovely boy.
Answers to suggestions are :-

There is another Livery Yard I am going to take him to but was hoping to do 6 months here as there are two indoor arenas and I have lots of people around.
Unforyunatly just n the 6 months I have been out of it the place has changed. When I have ridden him more there will be plenty of Riding space as I can ride in one half of the arena when a lesson is on its just I need to have ridden him enough to know I am not going to spoil someone lesson.

I was going to put him on schooling Livery but the prices have rocketed. He will go on this when I go on Holiday mostly for his benefit.

There is a big outdoor arena used for comps but it is the location oif my biggest bronc off during my Walking work with Gully (Major Bronc hit dirt big time).

I am going down twice a day once to ride and fuss and once to fuss and hand graze when I know he is not going to be an arse I will take him in the lane outside for up to an hour I have always spent a lot of time with my horse on days they kept everything in.

They have also fenced of one of the few fields into turn out paddocks for their comp horses.

I cant ring up the alternative Livery Yard until I am ready not to Grizzle down the phone. Its too embarrassing.

 

[kerilli]

he won't mind if he has a few days off, i'd regard it as useful time to really get to know him, spend lots of time with him, etc. surely you can lunge him for a bit after the competition, or ride him then? it's still light till late. if you don't stress about it, he won't!

 

[myhorsefred]

I know exactly how you feel!

I used to be on a busy competition yard which had very limited turnout. I left in the end.

The yard owner used to collect a grant payment if her fields were in good condition, so at the slightest sniff of rain any turnout would be disallowed. So frustrating. At the same time all of the schools were being used for competitions, so there really was nowhere for your horse to go.

The only thing I could do when we were stable bound, was to give Fred a massage all over, then some leg and neck stretches, so at least he felt he'd had a work out/done something other than standing.

I think he loved it, because I'd go and get a burger from the van, come back to look at him half and hour later and he was always lying down sleeping after his massage!

You may find this enforced stable time may help you to get to know your new boy. He does sound, and looks, gorgeous.

 

[saskia295]

Ah, big hugs. Please don't worry. I think we all go through this at some point.

When my youngster arrivesd (rising 4) he was such a git, I would have happily sold him to any passing gypsy for 50p. However, now he is the most incredible horse I've had the privilege of sitting on, let alone owning.

He really is a superstar

What I'm trying(!) to say is that it will take time, for you and him. Re the turnout issue, are there any other yards in your area that you could check out? Would it be at all possible to box him up and take him to another arena you could hire?

I really feel for you, it is awful but please stick with it, they are worth it, I promise

 

[Sooty]

And breathe! It won't hurt him to be in for a bit; to take stock of his surroundings and all the news sights, sounds and smells. It is a good idea to try and get to know him, and just spend some time with him. Anyway, if things don't improve you can always sell him! We all make mistakes, the really hard part is admitting to them. Take things a day at a time, and if you still feel like this in a few months' time, then let him go.

 

[malibu211211]

[ QUOTE ]

When my youngster arrivesd (rising 4) he was such a git, I would have happily sold him to any passing gypsy for 50p.

[/ QUOTE ]

Saskia! How could you?

Oh HUGE hugs!!!

I did exactly the same, went into complete panic mode the day after Monty arrived

A year on and I still have days where I think ' I can't do this, he'd be better off with someone else'

Rather than trying to get on him whilst all that is going on why not spend the next few days making a fuss of him and getting to know him. Take him for some walks in hand. Help him settle in

He looks like such a lovely chap I am sure he will enjoy some quality time with his new owner. Good chance to set some ground rules too

 

[saskia295]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

When my youngster arrivesd (rising 4) he was such a git, I would have happily sold him to any passing gypsy for 50p.

[/ QUOTE ]

Saskia! How could you?

[/ QUOTE ]

Tee hee!! Lucky that the young man had an attitude transplant! Wouldn't sell him ever now, let alone for 50p! He was phenominal the last 2 times I rode him

Bring on BE next year

 

[Flibble]

Well thank you for all your supportive help. I went down to the yard at 12 and YO daughter was there to ride her horses and I spoke to one of hergrooms who said 'I know exactly how you feel come in the school with me'.

I tacked the laddo up gloves and hatted and took him into the school on a lunge line. Bent down to pick up the lunge whip and ...

He said okey dokey circle stuff again then and promptly started walking around in a circle. Lunged him for 10 minutes and then climbed on board and he was an absolute pussycat. I think if I have a rule of thumb that I always take a lunge line into the school if he has an off day I will find out before I get on board.

I wasnt always a wuss I think I may have developed NHS - New Horse Syndrome the symptoms are dreadful;-

1. You cant eat
2. People back away from you as you talk about it all the time.
3. Every bad experience in your horsey life comes flooding back into your head
4. You find yourself on very familiar terms with the man in the Tack Shop.

I realise why I fell for him so much now he has the nature of both my best horses all jumbled up in one and he likes me.

Positive Actions I have booked a Private Lesson with an Instructor who knows me well for tomorrow( Gully frightened her into a Pelham when she took him cross-country for me when he was 4).

Anyway thank you one and all for your support its 3pm so I should have some lunch.

 

[Flame_]

Good on you. Really glad it went well!

 

[Serephin]

you are doing really well - just take your time and try to relax - I TOTALLY wigged out when I got my new boy in April - I was really ill with panic attacks - I sent him to my instructor on loan cos I couldn't cope with anything at the time - I told her to get him ready to sell - now, I love him to bits and I am doing stuff at my own pace and just concentrating on having fun together.

a new horse is so scary, especially after having another one I think - my TB was a challenge at times and dented my confidence - my new neddy is totally different, but all the old baggage is there and I think it takes a while to go as you bond with the new horsey.

 

[Flibble]

Thanks HippyNed.
My old horse Gully was and is still is in his retirement a saint. Unfortunatly Box Rest and walking in ever decreasing circles to try and get him sound destroyed us both. he changed character and was pretty dreadful,not that I can blame him and ridden walking work was a nightmare all to no avail.

I know the panic attacks well,too well in fact must go jumping is supposed to be on and my soggy moggy is bored.

 

[Clodagh]

I had exactly the same thing when my old horse had to be put down.
I recommend rescue remedy - or failing that just a large whiskey! Makes everything better.