Parents with teens who compete (or teens who compete...)

rara007

rara007

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How do you decide how often they are allowed to compete, and how much do they usually do
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I really want to do more, but my parents won't let me
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. I know its probably me having spoiltbratitius, but at the moment I get a one day event per month, but ends up about ever 6 weeks as they are later on in the month. I look after all 5 of my Dad's ponies, and my 2 and the families ones and just find it really frustrating I can't get out more. Parents say we need to do things as a family and we do do lots of 'compulsary' family things, but I would love to do a widweek show jumping or dressage once in a while. They used to not take me because in there words i was 'cr@p', when they wont pay for me to have lessons, but they can't really use that now as at the 2 3DE's they let me go to last year I got selected for the GB squad. I know I can't demand they do stuff for me but its really getting me down
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I do have quite a few lovely supporters
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, but they don't help with transport
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sorry

Haz
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Urm well my parents are fairly good. I compete or hunt most weekends and if I wanted to go out in the week I am pretty sure they would. The reason for this is the more my pony does, the more he will be worth and as the other pony we had to give away, we need as much as we can to make up if that makes sense. Also the doing things as a family now consists of them coming in the car and watching and little sis helping and holding sparky whilst I get ready
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Try and make it like you want the event to be like a family activity; so they all come along and make a day of it? Works for mine
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i compete quite a lot, and im lucky that my YO has a daughter that competes at the same level as me so i tag along with her. my dad works saturdays so i usally only comete if they are.

as your dad as your xmas pressie could you have some lessons, and then ask your instructor into telling your parents how good you are, so that maybe they will take you more places.

how long till you can drive a car?
 
I think if my daughter had been selected for the GB squad I would be encouraging her all the way.

My daughter has just started Into eventing - did her 1st one last season and we're planning a full season for next year. In reality I should think she'll do an event every 3 weeks or so, and fit in dressage and jumping and pony club stuff in between.

But eveybody has different priorities - I love her to compete as much as she loves competing - I get a kick out of her doing stuff I haven't got the balls to do anymore! I tend to over prioritise the horsey stuff at the expense of other things...........
 
TBH I take what I can get, am not a teen (22) but havent got the trailer test yet so I have to have someone sit in with me. For a year I used to give an older friend lifts so then could go everywhere but recently I tag along with others or borrow people to sit with me. I guess you are at home but can you not network abit? Perhaps you could have a definate one comp a month, set it in stone.
 
I'm not a teen but many years ago when I was, I used to hunt most saturdays in the winter (always hacked to meets), most weeks PPC/MGA or showjumping on the sunday and probably twice a month mid-week stuff. I was in all the PC teams though and was lucky enough to have more than 1 pony and live within easy hacking distance of loads of stuff. I didn't ask my parents to help me much other than financially and some of the ponies weren't mine so the owners would transport them and pay entry fees etc. I regularly hacked up to 1 1/2 hours though, especially in the summer.
 
Well about learning to drive is a whole another matter... In theory I could learn now, but I have no money, and my parents won't take me to a job and there in nothing locally.
When we do go out it does end up being a famliy thing most times, Dad and my sister competes, but I want to do a few bits and bobs between times, and they don't ride and there is noting more driving to do.

I do have an instructor or two
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, one that I hack too, and one who comes here they love me, big time and give me HUGE reductions, but my parents won't get involved.
 
my mum is wiked. but if your parents aren't as supportive as you would like then it might be a good move to get a job and pay for the lessons/competeition entry fees/diesel yourself and then your parents may be a little more willing to take you seeing as it is only their time they are spending.
just an idea.
 
I'm 17 . I don't know anyone who I coudl go with, I know lots of driving people, but they don't do the kind of stuff I would want to do.

They say I do too much already. (I do dog agility Monday nights and just ponies all the other nights, nothing most w/ends)
 
I know how you feel i guess (kind of..)
My parents dont encpurage me to compete...well they say they do but dont really.
It's really frustrating i know. My suggestion is to get a lift from someone else if you can that way its less bother to them
 
I know its not the money, and I can't get a job. I have all 10 ponies to look after, and they won't drive me anywere. There are no jobs going locally that I could do, the paper round is before school, and I already get up at 6.
 
Why dont you pay for lessons yourself instead of relying on your parents? I dont know how old you are but I had a job when I was 14. My parents never took me anywhere so I never went, it wasnt until I bought my own box that I started competing.
I would say every other week is resonable. I know its frustrating but tbh theres not much you can do.
 
No one to go with, and it is too dangerous to go alone
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. There are 2 other yards in the village, both owners barely ride and when they do hack they go 2 minuites around the bloock and fall off, so I'm not allowed with them either,
 
Well, we are still without our own transport so I just go where I can, when I can!
Very lucky in that my mum and dad don't really mind as long as I am having fun, although I think there would be limits and they would get a bit fed up if I was away every single weekend.
We usually hack everywhere in the summer as the yard is fairly central to a few key places to go, although in the winter everywere hacking distance goes quiet!
 
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Well about learning to drive is a whole another matter... In theory I could learn now, but I have no money, and my parents won't take me to a job and there in nothing locally..

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Bike?
Bus?
Got legs?
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Honestly, it sounds like you need to be working on becoming more independent rather than relying on your family, who seem a bit...insular?
 
I can't get a job. Nothing I can walk to, I'm not allowed to cycle anywhere either and I'm already kepping dad's 5 ponies fit ontop of mine, so time is very limited. The money I use to pay for lessons (parents don't pay), is from scholarships and money saved from lunch money.
 
[ QUOTE ]
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Well about learning to drive is a whole another matter... In theory I could learn now, but I have no money, and my parents won't take me to a job and there in nothing locally..

[/ QUOTE ]

Bike?
Bus?
Got legs?
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Honestly, it sounds like you need to be working on becoming more independent rather than relying on your family, who seem a bit...insular?

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Not allowed to cycle anywere, no bus link either
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I would like to be more independant, but earlier in the year I moved out for a while, so they now have no trust in me. And we live at the end of the world.
 
I've never told my daughter when she can compete - she (from the age of about 11) has told me when she intended competing/hunting and I had to sign the cheques and hitch up the trailer........
 
I would say, given that you have been so successful so far with what you had done than it would be nice for you to go out and improve, and improve.
After all you do do alot of work with looking after all the ponies. Saying that you're lucky to have them.

I haven't competed in more than a year due to no transport, lame/elderly horses and no money. So in one way id say be thankful you can compete.
But I do totally understand where you are coming from and it would be hard for you to get a job and look after and excercise all those ponies.

Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully the better you get, and the better you do, the more your parents will be inclined to take you out.
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i'm allowed to compete all i want, as long as i pay all expenses and do all the work, but that's difficult because we don't have transport, so tbh, i've barely been to any shows recently. and Ozzie can't jump so it has to be on B...
 
Thanks, I hope so
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I am so lucky to have all the boys, but looking after my Dad's is just what I have to do, I do enjoy it but not sure i'd do it through choice. And Ajay, Teddy, Ginga and Paddy should all be loaned out
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. But really I am so lucky i shouldn't complain.
 
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