Part Livery - Feeling guilty

Firewell

Firewell

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This should probably be in NL but it's scary :(.

I'm 3 months pregnant, yippeeee! I moved J yards at the weekend and onto 5 day part livery. This is the first day I haven't gone up and I feel really guilty!

His work load has dropped a bit now, what with the weather and everything. He's a good boy so i'm still riding, schooling and slow hacks and a lovely member on here has been a few times to jump him but if he's lucky he's only being ridden 4/5 times per week and even then not for long. Yestrday I literally did a 20 min hack in walk, got back wandered round a frozen school for 2 mins and then went in.

I'm probably being silly. The new yard is small and lovely, they have very experienced full time staff and give 5* care. They even will ride if I need them too or do full livery, whatever I want really. Yesterday I got there he was standing in on an immaculate bed, big haynet, rugs neatly folded up, feeds mixed up ready.

However I'm so used to watching the clock to make sure i'm at the yard on time for him, twice a day. I usually ride for at least 6 days a week and for at least an hour. Now I feel i'm neglecting him! Especially as it's a new yard and he's used to only me looking after him, I hope he's not worried.

I think i'm a control freak, please tell me i'm being silly!
 
I'm on 5 day livery and sometimes I feel the same! I love to go up to see my Abs however my yard is 20mins away and have 2 others at home so cannot go everyday! he will be absolutely fine! Don't worry :D A's bed is always immaculate :)
 
If you're really concerned, why not just go up and groom him? That way you're spending time with him without doing all the rubbish jobs - a great thing in my book! I don't think any horse cares who mucks out the bed or fills the haynets or spills freezing water down the inside of their boots doing water buckets, but they do quite like continuity with their people, so make the most of the time and give him some fuss. I've not been able to ride my new horse because she had a wolf tooth out the day after she arrived, so I've been just grooming her every day etc. If I could afford part/full livery I'd be on it like a shot!
 
oh how i would love to have my horse on 5 day part livery through the winter :D Just make the most of it and enjoy the break!

And more importantly, huge congratulations!!!
 
Congratulations firstly!!

I agree with the others in that he wont care who is doing the manual labour but he'll still appreciate pampering from his mummy. I doubt he's fussed about doing less work either. Just relax, chill and enjoy.....while you can :) xxx
 
Congratulations!

You'll get through the guilty feeling! But I have to say I do try and see my horses on livery every day, even if it is for a quick pat, scratch and carrot - still feels wrong if I miss a day!
 
I'm gonna be spending a lot of my evening making trips back and forwards to the yard to fill up all their waters tonight......embrace the part livery! :D
 
You may be being told to man up in here, but at least you're not being witch hunted for not having your horse on DIY like you would in NL.

Shame on you for not giving up your life (even during pregnancy!!) for your horse. Shame on you for paying someone else to do it!

Only joking, enjoy the time off! and Good Luck x
 
Dont feel guilty, it sounds like your horse is being looked after fabulously!
I can identify with you though, i have started paying YO to bring mine in weekdays. She 's always been kept at home until this year, and its been a rough one, so i thought i 'dgive myself a bit of a break!
I still feel like a part timer and i miss her monday-friday evenings, even though i see to her mornings and every weekend! Daft!!!!
 
I did the total opposite when I was pregnant - put my horse on livery and the day after he was dropped off I went away with work for a long weekend - it was the yard that was worried, not me! They thought I'd abandoned him! Loved my time on full livery, mine are both DIY now and although I love that too as I have total control over everything, there are plenty of times when I wish they could be on full livery and I could curl up in the warm in my pjs. Embrace your time off, relax and enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your easy horsey time with none of the hard work.
 
I know the feeling (a bit, but I'm not as soft as you, I'll blame the hormones! :-)

I moved mine from DIY to 5 day when I moved area and changed job (and wasn't going to be able to nick off at random times to do stuff at the yard any more!). It felt weird at first, but let's just say you get used to it VERY QUICKLY ha ha.

I was wondering whether she'd recognise me less etc because I'm not feeding her. Nope! What happened was it turns out she absolutely loves having a completely set routine, something I struggled to achieve on DIY with a demanding / erratic job. I still go to see her every day unless I actually can't, even if just for five mins on the way home from work... so probably I'd feel it a bit more of I wasn't doing that. The food thing is pretty much cupboard love - they're after the bucket, not you! - and it's made no difference that someone else puts her dinner in. She still recognises me when she sees me, or when I go out to catch her... When she stayed at the horsepital for a couple of days she practically climbed out of the stable when she saw I'd come back to get her from a distance across the yard. As someone above says: we get a sense of nurturing from shovelling the crap, they don't even notice it! If you're still doing the formative stuff - the teaching / learning stuff, going on adventures etc - then it really won't matter someone else is changing her rug and turning her out.

The thing I really like about it is that you can spend time doing the nice stuff. For example, today I wanted to look at how she eats her hay out of her haybar-and-haynet combination, whether she's pulling in a way that wouldn't be good for her back... So I stood and watched for five mins, tipped the hay out, watched for another five mins, decided she still needed the net and was pulling almost the same without it, so put it all back in again! It sounds a bit bonkers, but when I'm always in a rush I wouldn't take the time to do that and would have it on a 'at some point at the weekend make sure you...' list that never gets done. Today I also started the lorry and ran it for ten minutes because it hadn't been run for a week or so. I'd never have time to do those two things on a work night on DIY.

Having said that, if I don't go up for more than a night in a row I rather pathetically miss her a little bit. And even in this weather I rarely feel like coming home from work and NOT going to see her, it's a great de-stress, re-focus thing, even if just for a visit.

Having the work to do at weekends is a nice balance. In short - you'll adapt really quickly :-)
 
Congratulations!

Mine have been on 7 day livery for quite a few years now. To begin with I found it odd but got used to it very quickly!!

I do still go up everyday most weeks even if it's just to groom (or play!), on the odd occasion that I don't it does feel very strange and I understand the guilt!

It sounds like you have found a lovely yard though and I'm sure you will get used to it... as for the exercise, it will keep him ticking over and I'm sure he won't mind having a quieter time than usual!
 
Take comfort in the fact he is being well cared for, sometimes I turn up and he has hardly any straw, water has frozen and rugs havn't been changed. I want your livery!!! and 4/5 days a week exercise is more than I am managing at the moment!
 
Congratulations, i hope all is well with your pregnancy! Well, i understand your feeling of guilt but it looks like you have found a great place for your horse and i doubt he is thinking "oh no i am only exercised 4 times a week, what's going to happen to my topline?" I had my horse on assisted diy before children now he is on part/full livery as i don't manage otherwise between the numerous holidays, days off school because they are ill....
With a baby your priorities are going to change and you will be quite happy to have the part/full livery option.
Try and see your horse as often as possible and just enjoy his company, as long as he is fed, comfy in his stable and is turned out he will be allright and if you can throw in a bit of lungeing and other people riding him that's even better.
Take care.
 
First of all congratulations. Secondly, why on earth are you feeling guilty? Enjoy it, he sounds very happy, and quite honestly horses dont care how mucks them out or feeds them. Just enjoy the nice bits of horse ownership, without all of the hard graft that goes with it. I sometimes dont see mine for days on the trot as Mini TX does him for me, as work can fill up a LOT of my waking hours. He still knows I am mum, and I still get the whicker when he sees me.

Also, I suspect you will be feeling a little bit tired, and may do so for some months yet, so in your shoes I would be really enjoying it. DIY is great, but goodness, it can be exhausting.
 
Congratulations! Mine gets ridden 3x a week if he's unlucky, twice if he's lucky - all I can do in winter with work and no school.

give him the time off, he'll need more the fatter you get ;) then enjoy him once you've foaled! :)
 
Wow- congrats to you!!!

Don't worry re Jae, you have spent many years just you and him, he knows exactly who his mummy is! Enjoy your time off while it lasts as I'm sure time will fly by and you'll soon be back on DIY and on board properly!
 
That boy is loved so much! :)

I think it's natural to feel like you do. And on top of that you might be feeling slightly more tired and emotional than normal :p ;) I know I'm the same as even when we get someone in to help out on certain days with my herd of horses I always end up going up to the yard and helping them out! I think it's just routine and habit, and it will take a bit of adjustment but I'm sure it will slowly feel like the "norm" :) especially as baby things start taking over! It doesn't mean you love him any less though :D

Jae is a very lucky boy! And it's great that you know you have got your mum up at the yard so she can keep an eye too xx
 
You're not being silly, it's really hard when they first go on livery. Mine is on full livery now, and we spend much more quality time together. We ride more, I can spend longer grooming and playing with him in general, and he doesn't have to stand in the empty stable while I muck out like he used to, and be shoved out the way while I loaded bales on hay into his locker!
When he first went on full livery I felt like bad things would happen if I didn't check him everyday. But hes fine and he loves his new mummies!

Most of all I am sooo happy I don't have to do the winter search for hay and bedding when the local stores have run out!! :D
 
Huge Congratulations!
With 2 children and a full time job that involves 3 hours a day commuting I am one of those "evil" people that has always had my horses on part livery ;-). I don't think my relationship with them is any less because of that. Also, believe me when I say that babies come out fully equipped with a whole manual on how to make Mummy feel guilty so just assume Jae is training you for that :). In the end, you have to try really hard to do what is best for you as an individual no matter how many little people/horses are tugging at your heartstrings... I wouldn't be without any of them even if my life is a little busy....
 
Aw I feel better now :).
If I am this bad with my horse I dread to think what I will be like with my child! :) I probably will worry over every little thing but I can't wait :D. Going up the yard this afternoon to pamper the pony and at least I still have the weekends to make me feel useful ;).
Thanks again
 
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