Part loaning but the horse keeps going lame

[Emerill]

Hi all,

I've been loaning a horse for a year and a half now, and he's been lame on and off since April.
I've spoken to his owner and voiced my concerns but she always makes excuses as to why he's lame and hasn't had him checked by anyone other than the farrier, who has said it's not a foot issue...

This horse is super special to her and she's particularly fussy about who gets to ride him so I've always felt grateful for the opportunity to loan, but it's become really difficult to watch him in pain and see nothing done about it.
He's overweight, so I've been trying to ride as much as possible to get the weight off but that's obviously inconsistent with him going lame.

Over the past 5 months he's had approximately 3.5 months of being off lame.
At his owners request I have done the following:
- Ridden him at walk in the fields around the yard he is kept on.
- Done work solely in straight lines.
- Removed him from school work.
- Walked him by hand around the yard.

We slowly introduce trot, he's fine for a week, he goes lame. We get comfortable with trot and then introduce 20 meter circles and he goes lame.

There's no heat in his feet, his field is bare so he's not on rich grass, and to me it seems more like a back or shoulder issue.

But here's the main problem. His owner refuses to get a vet out, or a physio. She listens to other people on the yard, and would rather take their advice. I'd finally got her to look at getting a vet and someone said he's lame because he's fat and now she's gone off the vet thing again.

I still pay the full amount to loan (which evidently is more than his stable fee) and now I'm feeling a bit disheartened. I love the horse, we've built a bit of a bond up, he trusts me and he's been a consistent through a crappy year. I enjoy my time with him, but at this point I'm spending money to cuddle and fuss him rather than ride.
His owner was a bit harsh earlier this year and I told her I couldn't cope with how she was treating me and she made a few changes, but I'm back to feeling unheard.

I'm just looking for a little advice.
The relationship I have with the horse is not the problem, and honestly I'm just looking out for him.
What would you do in this situation?

 

[ester]

It can be tricky I got a bit frustrated when I knew a share really needed to see the vet for lameness (and not having the control to just do that myself compared to owning) but I did have other yard people agreeing with me - owner wasn’t riding, had some other stuff on and I think the delay was partly because a diagnosis was likely to mean that it was the end of the road for him so she had to get her head round that (prior issues).

I think you need to have a personal line drawn where you say no, horse clearly not right and I’m not doing anything with it that may continue to compromise horse. TBH it sounds like you’ve likely reached that.

 

[shortstuff99]

I would find a new loan. I have a suspicion that the owner knows what the problem is, which is why she won't call a vet.

You are throwing money away really, will be plenty more horses out there to share.

 

[Caol Ila]

End the loan. If the owner refuses to get the vet, he can't be that "special" to her, can he?

I know it's hard when you're attached to the horse, but there are other horses out there, ones with owners who are nice to their loaners and who call the vet when needed and won't let a chronic lameness bubble on for months.

 

[Zoeypxo]

Just end the loan and find something else, i know you like the horse but people like this are impossible. I doubt she will ever get the vet out, either because she doesnt want to know what the problem is, or doesnt want to pay for it

 

[Ample Prosecco]

I'd also end the loan. This is not a case of 'is he/isn't he" - it sounds like everyone accepts he is lame, they are just making excuses about why. And also he keeps GOING lame which means an issue resolving or partially resolving then recurring as soon as the work changes which clearly means pain, not some functional issues affecting his movement, but not necessarily hurting him. Poor horse. I cannot fathom how people think this is ok. If you can''t afford a lameness work up, then at least turn away for a few months at grass and see if that resolves things. But I'd only ever do that if a vet saw the horses first and okayed that plan. SOunds like this woman does not want to know, and also does not want any vet to potentially tell her horse needs x months off, then a rehab plan, as she wants a loaner to keep riding so they keep paying.

I'd end the loan and I'd be totally blunt about it:

"Your horse is lame, it's gone on ages and I am no longer prepared to ride a chronically lame horse without a vet assessment and plan, so I can't keep coming up anymore. Payments will end from...."

I know you like the horse but you are not in control of his care and never will be as a loaner. I think there is likely to be more hertabreak staying involved than walking away. x

 

[Ample Prosecco]

Oh and the horse is not 'special' to her and she wasn't doing you a favour 'letting you' repeatedly try and rehab her horse for her! She might be sentimentally attached but the first rule of animal guardianship is that you look after them properly. If you don't/won't then, frankly, you really don't actually care that much. She likes what he does for her (being cute and cuddly or whatever) and the money he brings in. But that is not the same as caring about him which is about ensuring he gets what HE needs from HER, not just caring about what she gets from him.

 

[Glitter's fun]

Sorry but this horse isn't super special to her, if he's fat and lame!
I wonder if she is saying that to keep you dangling because you'll be flattered to be allowed to nurse him along for her.


I understand that you are attached to him and I'm sorry you had a bad year when you needed to lean on him a bit but it won't do you or him any good to keep going with this. You have tried re-setting the relationship & it didn't work, so you have one option left, which is to walk away.

 

[Emerill]

Oh and the horse is not 'special' to her and she wasn't doing you a favour 'letting you' repeatedly try and rehab her horse for her! She might be sentimentally attached but the first rule of animal guardianship is that you look after them properly. If you don't/won't then, frankly, you really don't actually care that much. She likes what he does for her (being cute and cuddly or whatever) and the money he brings in. But that is not the same as caring about him which is about ensuring he gets what HE needs from HER, not just caring about what she gets from him.

This is what I keep thinking.
He was her daughters horse, and unfortunately her daughter passed away a few years ago quite young, and she really struggles with that, which I completely understand.
But if he means that much because of the link to her daughter I don't understand why she wouldn't do what's best for him.
She does more for her chronically lame 33 year old....

 

[Glitter's fun]

This is what I keep thinking.
He was her daughters horse, and unfortunately her daughter passed away a few years ago quite young, and she really struggles with that, which I completely understand.
But if he means that much because of the link to her daughter I don't understand why she wouldn't do what's best for him.
She does more for her chronically lame 33 year old....

She sounds to be really struggling but you need to separate feeling sorry for her (and him) from being realistic about what you can actually do to improve things.
It's possible that you saying you can no longer ride him might give her the jolt she needs to get him sorted, or at least he might be a happier field ornament without your input.

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I would just move on and find something else why should you pay for a horse that is not yours and is lame alot.

The horse needs a vet and she is failing him not doing so and obviously doesn't care that much if she is willing to just carry on putting her head in the sand.

Unfortunately the poor horse suffers.

 

[CobsaGooden]

I’ve had similar recently so feel your pain. The pony I loaned developed rainscald down its neck and saddle area and pony would not let me anywhere near it. The owner refused to get the vet. I managed to get it under control over the course of a few weeks and a water proof fly rug. Just started riding again and then I had a weeks holiday. Owner had left the rug off all week and she was covered in sores again. Owner refused the vet and pony nearly decked me when trying to assess her so I had to give her up. This was June and she has been sold on twice since then.

It’s so sad and frustrating when you can’t help because they don’t belong to you

 

[Ample Prosecco]

That's very sad, and no doubt the owner has lots of very complicated feelings about the horse: a connection to her daughter, memories etc. But her feelings about him does not change the fact that she is not meeting his needs. I also agree with @Goldie's mum - someone saying "your horse is lame, has been for months and and I can't be party to this anymore" might wake her up to her responsibilities. And if not, well at least you are not colluding with his neglect.

 

[ihatework]

I’d just end the share and find something else tbh.

 

[SaddlePsych'D]

I'd also end the loan. This is not a case of 'is he/isn't he" - it sounds like everyone accepts he is lame, they are just making excuses about why. And also he keeps GOING lame which means an issue resolving or partially resolving then recurring as soon as the work changes which clearly means pain, not some functional issues affecting his movement, but not necessarily hurting him. Poor horse. I cannot fathom how people think this is ok. If you can''t afford a lameness work up, then at least turn away for a few months at grass and see if that resolves things. But I'd only ever do that if a vet saw the horses first and okayed that plan. SOunds like this woman does not want to know, and also does not want any vet to potentially tell her horse needs x months off, then a rehab plan, as she wants a loaner to keep riding so they keep paying.

I'd end the loan and I'd be totally blunt about it:

"Your horse is lame, it's gone on ages and I am no longer prepared to ride a chronically lame horse without a vet assessment and plan, so I can't keep coming up anymore. Payments will end from...."

I know you like the horse but you are not in control of his care and never will be as a loaner. I think there is likely to be more hertabreak staying involved than walking away. x

All of this really.

It's one of the difficult things about sharing/loaning. There's the benefits of the horse not fully being your responsibility, but the downside of that is that you don't have control of it's overall welfare/management.

I ended a share after a few weeks trial once because I was concerned about the horse's health and soundness. I can't remember if I was direct about it or just said I didn't think it was the right arrangement and left it at that. If you can be direct as has been suggested then great but equally I wouldn't blame you if you kept it more generic "this arrangement is no longer working out".

 

[Barton Bounty]

End the share for sure, its not fair on you.

Equally If I were the owner then I would not be accepting money for a horse that cannot be ridden

 

[Orangehorse]

Agree with everyone.

Of course you like the horse, he sounds like a real sweetie. But here is the rub - we get fond of nearly all horses we have anything to do with, if they are nice and friendly and good to handle and don't actively bite, kick or run you out of the stable. It is in our nature to get fond of them. Plus all the work time and money you have put into him.

But you haven't had much reward from the point of view of being able to ride and do things with him.

You don't state how old the horse is, but it could be something like arthritis. Being an arthritis sufferer myself, I can tell you I have good days with no pain when I can go for walks and do all sorts of normal things and bad days when it is excruitiating and vile and very wearing. I think that if this horse has something fixable then you would probably have fixed it by now, with the rest and then gentle introduction of work.

 

[quiteniceforacob]

Unfortunately I think the loss of your money will hit the hardest. Currently you're happy to pay and rehab.

"I can't help worrying about x being constantly lame and worry about riding him and making him more uncomfortable so I'll be ending the loan on X date. Do let me know if you have a vet out and what they say, as I'd be happy to recommence the share if you're able to find and treat the problem as I truly care about him"

Etc etc