People problems? Please read!

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MgO

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Hi all *sigh*
Let me tell you. Basiacally I have a fave pony, like the majority of people, but apparantly I'm obsessed with him but I can agree with that xD! Trouble is, when ever I'm there helping or riding, I'm teased about this/him. For example, today these certain people said the huntsman was coming to shoot him, cos he's old and useless (WHICH HE MOST CERTAINLY ISNT!!!). Some days it's 'He's going for a 'holiday'. Some days its he's been replaced, and some days its just general insults. It really gets to me... grrr. Just makes me angry and so sad:mad: He is old, yes. But still... Once they even said lifes to short to love him!:eek:
Help me please guys! I can't take much more of this:(
Thanks xx
 
This rather reminds me of me when I was a teenager, helping at a riding school. My favourite horse was an old, ugly, pink-spotted and bad-tempered mare called Mildred. :D:o And yes, I got lots of teasing.

You just have to ignore it. Don't respond, just learn to smile and change the subject. It's in poor taste (and can become bullying) but they only do it to get a reaction from you. So don't react.

They'll get bored after a while and not bother. ;)
 
All I can say is that they must have something badly missing in their sad lives if they feel the need to make someone else hurt. Pity them. They are idiots.
 
Don't bite!! They are trying to get a reaction, give them one, yawn and say 'you are boring me'.
Tell them you have his name tattoed on your bum too.
 
MgO said:
I do my besst to ignore it but the comments about him being shot really get to me:(
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That's because it's a really horrible thing to say to you. :mad:

Try not to show it upsets you though. It's a great skill for life to be able to hide your feelings sometimes.

I'm guessing he's a riding school pony? Any photos? :D
 
Years ago when I was in that situation at an RS, other kids used to joke about eating my loan pony and used to chant "Curly on toast" at me. It's ridiculous looking back, but it did used to upset me.

(he was called Curly, btw, it wasn't such a random comment!)
 
Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time, like the others I think they're only doing it to get a reaction, so try not to give them one. I know it's hard though. Just remember that you and that pony probably have a better bond than they do with any of the other horses at your stables, and you enjoy your time there without having to resort to making fun of others for entertainment.
 
Sometimes, ignoring them/the remarks will be enough. Sometimes it wont and it CAN make the issues worse. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt - it got to the stage in highschool where I would go a full day without speaking & learned not to flinch, all that got was people getting more & more physical with their abuse. Not to worry you, but bullying (which this is) doesn't always just 'go away'.
Tell your parents, tell a member of staff at the riding school. Get someone to at least have a word with these other people. It's not on. Bullying can cause a lot of issues, for you, for them, for others. Best to sort it NOW than wait a while, and end up letting it cause real problems.

I say this, because I was bullied throughout school. Primary school onwards. When I hit about 9yrs old, I started getting depressed. By the time I was 13/14, my attendance was ridiculously low, something like 60%. I was ill at least once a week usually, and very depressed by this stage. I ended up going for counselling, being pulled out of school and only doing 1/2 days - the half that I was in school was usually spent in isolation. I couldn't walk down the corridors, wait outside classrooms, go for lunch, meet up with my friends. My grades fell dramatically (I should have been getting As at least), and in the end I just about scraped through my GCSEs, I started A-levels but by then I couldn't stand education/schools/being around people, I couldn't get my head in the right place & ended up leaving & starting my own business. Worked out fine you might think, except I now have to deal on a day to day basis with depression & anxiety. I can't make phonecalls or answer them sometimes, I'm scared of people & crowded places, I constantly feel the need to watch over my shoulder.
That was just my education it ruined - to me, it's not all that important. I know I can do what I want to do regardless.
Sometimes, it ate into my riding. If I was bullied at the yard half as much, I don't know what I'd have done. I know that horses are one thing I can't lose. Do you want to have to put up with these comments? Do you want to risk the thought that eventually, you might not be able to face going to the riding school at all?

Children can be viscious bullies, and often don't know where to stop :( Please MgO, take care and TELL SOMEONE. And if they tell you to just ignore it, tell them again! Make them hear you out, make sure they know that it is upsetting you, and that they take it seriously. And if it happens again, tell them again! The primary school approach of 'ignore it' (that often followed 'don't tell tales'!) has never worked for me.

I hope that you manage to get it sorted. If you want to chat about it, feel free to PM me. :)
 
It's easier said than done, but try to ignore them, or laugh when they say it as they'll soon get bored if they know they're not getting to you.

When I was a teenager my favourite pony was an ancient old skewbald who was blind in one eye and bit most people when they went near him. Me and my sister 'adopted' him and he was like a new horse! He became very trusting and affectionate. People used to tease me and I'm sure it upset me at the time but 18 years later I remember none of their comments and only the lovely memories of that pony!

His name was Casino which shows what a life long impact he had on me as he features in my username 18 years later along with Solo, my first loan pony from many moons ago :)
 
Well what horrible pathetic individuals. as hard as it is ignore them, and try not to react, talk to someone if you can and mention that its upsetting you
Keep smiling :)
 
Just tell them if you wanted their opinion, you would have kicked their kennel. Or, be just as personal & rude back. They're hitting you where it hurts, so find/guess their weak spot, & reply in the same manner. Especially if there's a ringleader or two. Bullies only enjoy it if you are upset.
 
I don't understand how people can pick nasty comments to you about loving an old horse more than the others?! I personally think it's very sweet that even though he's old he is still your fav :D so well done.

Ignore those pathetic people saying things, it's not worth your time. Just carry on as you are and remember that he will not be shot!
 
I'm curious how old they are and how old you are! It kind of sounds like the sort of thing big brothers tease you with or people thinking they're bantering with you!

I'd probably tease them back personally!
 
MgO said:
Hi all *sigh*
Let me tell you. Basiacally I have a fave pony, like the majority of people, but apparantly I'm obsessed with him but I can agree with that xD! Trouble is, when ever I'm there helping or riding, I'm teased about this/him. For example, today these certain people said the huntsman was coming to shoot him, cos he's old and useless (WHICH HE MOST CERTAINLY ISNT!!!). Some days it's 'He's going for a 'holiday'. Some days its he's been replaced, and some days its just general insults. It really gets to me... grrr. Just makes me angry and so sad:mad: He is old, yes. But still... Once they even said lifes to short to love him!:eek:
Help me please guys! I can't take much more of this:(
Thanks xx
Click to expand...

When people are saying such things to you - don't listen to their words....listen to their real meaning, which is, "I really need your attention." "I am threatened by you and need to exert some power." "I feel bigger by making you feel smaller."

If you understand this - you will soon be grinning at their words. It's a kind of compliment that you make them feel so they need to try and squash you :D.

You could always turn round and suggest it's sad that they feel the need to threaten a little, old pony ;)
 
I agree 100% with Sol. Bullies are nasty little worms with something missing from their own lives. DO tell someone- parent, instructor.
 
meandmyself said:
I agree 100% with Sol. Bullies are nasty little worms with something missing from their own lives. DO tell someone- parent, instructor.
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Glad you agree! :) I listened to too many of the people who told me to just ignore it, for too long.
PLEASE tell someone if you are being bullied, and make them do something!
I honestly can't stress this enough, I worry so much for the other people out there going through what I did, or worse, in whatever situation.
 
A set of head phones is your friend! Even if you don't have any thing playing gives you the perfect way to ignore them completely.

Do mention it to some one if its making you feel that bad and keep your chin up while its getting sorted. I'm guessing this is at a riding school of some sort so is there any chance you can swap days so you don't see them as much?
 
when i had my 1st pony, some locals that i used the ride with, would take the mike out of my pony, saying he was useless. est and is too slow even though we always bet them in races and said he couldnt jump even though i was jumping a 4 foot fence.
then when it came to sell as i out grown, he was the 1st down with his dad to buy, i didnt sell to him, sold him to a hunting farm. but just goes to show he was jealous of mine.
forget about them, easy to say i know but, just dont listen to them. they hate that.
 
The_angel_littlelegs said:
Just tell them if you wanted their opinion, you would have kicked their kennel. Or, be just as personal & rude back. They're hitting you where it hurts, so find/guess their weak spot, & reply in the same manner. Especially if there's a ringleader or two. Bullies only enjoy it if you are upset.
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This!! Answer them back in like manner!! Hit back and don't take any notice of their pathetic attempts to intimidate you. Tell them they are pathetic and you can't take any notice of their silly remarks!! Laugh at them....people who try and bully you hate being laughted at!! Be strong and confident, even if you have to fake it!! And SMILE while you are talking to them....they hate that as well as it shows you are confident!! Don't let the emotion get to your voice!! Good luck.
 
OberBaubles said:
When people are saying such things to you - don't listen to their words....listen to their real meaning, which is, "I really need your attention." "I am threatened by you and need to exert some power." "I feel bigger by making you feel smaller."

If you understand this - you will soon be grinning at their words. It's a kind of compliment that you make them feel so they need to try and squash you :D.

You could always turn round and suggest it's sad that they feel the need to threaten a little, old pony ;)
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Ha ha ha lol!:D Made me laugh - mainly cos they are all twice the size of me, even tho they're same age :p
 
dafthoss said:
A set of head phones is your friend! Even if you don't have any thing playing gives you the perfect way to ignore them completely.

Do mention it to some one if its making you feel that bad and keep your chin up while its getting sorted. I'm guessing this is at a riding school of some sort so is there any chance you can swap days so you don't see them as much?
Click to expand...

Unfortunatley I can't swap days as they are there nearly everyday:(
 
mandwhy said:
I'm curious how old they are and how old you are! It kind of sounds like the sort of thing big brothers tease you with or people thinking they're bantering with you!

I'd probably tease them back personally!
Click to expand...

They are the same as me, maybe a year older. Almost twice the size of me tho:p
 
Its easy for people to say ignore the comments - this is good advise but can sometimes be hard to do if you feel sensitive, talking to your parents or someone else on the yard will help you to get the moral support you might need to help you to keep all this in perspective, and prevent it getting out of hand. There is one very important tbing you MUST remember though - the ability to shoe EMPATHY is a sign of higher intelligence, your ability to empathise and love this pony when its qualities are not so obvious to other people is definately a clear sign that you are of a higher intelligence than someone who is unable to emaphise with either the pony, or the person who loves the pony and is being teased for it. Please try to ensure that you do not let your life be shaped by people of lower intelligence, seek out people who will support you in being the lovely kind person you are, enjoy loving this pony, and be very very proud of the fact that you can see beyond the obvious - it makes you by far the better person. X
 
I use an American expression when I want to shut up interfering types, "thank you for sharing that with me".

Its a polite way to tell them to ******* off.
 
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