People taking the P*** or is it me ???

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Winters

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Sorry long story... There are 3 of us on a small rented yard - my name on rental agreement The 1 lady has trouble doing afternoons re childcare so asked if she could do mornings & works the odd weekend so could I do some weekends for her - I work during the week (can still get there & sort horses) but said yes that's fine, I go down the yard to check all in the morning but she turns horses out 5 days a week & does my stables - I bring in 7 days a week & also do Sat & Sun mornings The 3rd lady has now also just started doing mornings- not asked me to bring her horse in just assumed as she knows I wouldn't leave a horse out on it's own. So between the 2 of them they do 5 mornings - the 1 turns up some Sat & Sun mornings to turn out & the other is nowhere to be seen most weekends (working or not) Am I being harsh saying that I think they are taking advantage of me - I have 2 horses at yard & they have 1 each - I popped down the other morning at 1/4 to ten & all horses were still in & I was fuming & I let them know, however I am beginning to think this could be a regular occurance - yes they have children & childcare issues but don't we all - I had to be somewhere the other week said I would have to bring the horses in either really early or when dark & they said whatever was earlier for me ! I'm thinking it's time to call it a day - your thoughts please.
 
You rent the yard, your rules then?
Do you charge for part or DIY?
If the latter, then I'd make it clear that they are not pulling their weight & either thay go back to being DIY or sort out a groom to do theirs if you are not willing to do their horses/charge them part livery.
 
If they aren't willing to pay for what you are doing for them, I'd let them know you are no longer able/willing to do it.
 
ihatework said:
Surely it's just about establishing some clear ground rules?
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I've tried this all they so is make excuses childcare issues, husband working late etc... I'm just getting a bit fed up with it now - I'm working this morning - the understanding we had is that horses would be out for just after 9 - I feel I can't trust them at the moment so mine are already out - should make for an interesting day when they turn up :(
 
Just tell them their routine doesn't suit your horses and you'll be doing them yourself from now on at both ends of everyday - you no longer require their help. Tell them they will need to sort a groom for their horses or maybe you'd be willing to do it if paid?
 
Fat_Pony said:
Just tell them their routine doesn't suit your horses and you'll be doing them yourself from now on at both ends of everyday - you no longer require their help. Tell them they will need to sort a groom for their horses or maybe you'd be willing to do it if paid?
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This definitely asap, good luck.
 
What Fat Pony says, you have two so you can put them in and out without any worries about them being on their own, they can sort out the other two between them.
Say something before it becomes a huge issue and you all fall out! Explain that you can't keep doing theres but maybe if they left a slice of hay by the door you could throw it in in the morning, then if they can't get there til after the school run it doesn't matter. (Thinking of their horses, not them).
 
See similar situations to this at my DIY yard most weeks and it's probably the cause of most fall outs. Basically it's because people want a horse but just don't have the time especially if they work full time or have children and few could afford to opt for full livery. A horse is a massive commitment especially if its kept some distance from home, not sure everyone thinks it through enough and then have no option but to rely on others good nature to help them out particularly during the winter months. Got a feeling there will be a few more threads like this........
 
You have to be careful in situations like this as they quickly snowball into 'she always does it' and then full blown arguments. You need to establish firm guidelones to who is doing what on which day. Call a meeting over a brew and discuss who does what to make it fair. Chances are they will respect you a lot more if you be a bit firmer, rather than letting them take the mick.

It's going to be hard but I can promise you now it will be a lot harder when it comes to petty little 'she didn't feed my horse on Monday so I'm not doing hers today' incidents - they drive you mad and make life unbareable.

Sort it out before it's too late and nip it in the bud! Good luck :)
 
Oh dear, I seem to have started something here..

Yes, you have to say something, and take back control. Who wants to be faffing around with other people's horses (for free) when winter sets in ? Charge them or let them DIY.
 
Give someone an inch, and they expect a mile.

They are taking the mick. If they have regular childcare issues they should put their horses into appropriate full or assisted livery and pay for it. We all have our lives to lead so they shouldn't dump their troubles onto you.

Start charging them or stop doing it and make the rules clear. People will only walk all over you if you let them.

Good luck, hope you get it sorted.
 
Personally, I think that the thing that would annoy me the most, is that the 3rd lady didn't even bother to talk to you about only doing mornings, without just simply started to do what she wanted to do.

I can understand if it isn't always possible to split it 50 - 50%, when you do people favours. Maybe sometimes one person temporarily does more, but another time someone else does more, however, to me, the keyword is temporarily. In the long term, I think that it often needs to even out on about 50 - 50%, if everyone should be happy.

Based on what you describe, I personally don't think that it sounds as if this is a temporary solution, without it sounds as if you do more, and they have no plans about trying to catch up.
 
Yes they are taking the mick. If they can't commit to looking after their horses then they should go on full livery or grass livery. What happens if they get sick? or their child gets sick? the excuses will only increase over time and you will end up doing it all.
 
Say that your commitments are such now that you won't be able to do their horses any more. Suggest they get sharers or come up with a rota between themselves so that their horses are seen to twice a day.

Needs sorting now or come the Winter you'll be looking after all of them full time!
 
I had similar issue in the past. Horses lived out so not so bad but other liveries constantly took the p out of me. I've now been on my own for 6 months and it's pure bliss. Never been happier
 
This happened to me at uni, and it really made me begrudge the time I spent at the yard.

As I see it, you have two horses so can turn them out together, you already go to the yard in mornings to check on your own, so I would just let the other two know that you are going to do your own from now on, 7 days a week.
 
i agree with your question: yes they are taking the piss! i actually rent a yard with 2 other ladies, rent simply split 3 ways, but in the winter i do bring in my friends 2 horses in 5 days a week as she works late and it's dark- but she never expected me to, she asked me and tried to pay me as well, but i refused as her hubby and her do put a lot of time and money into maintenance and improvements. it is ok if someone asks nicely and offers to pay or makes it worth your while by helping in return in ways you actually want, not turning out at 10am!
i think you need a meeting to discuss what they expect you to do and you expect them to do- some people just don't realize they are being inconsiderate, they may just think, i'm sure they are fine bringing mine in .... no big deal.
 
Just adding my voice to the general 'they are taking the mick' although they probably don't see it as such & most normal people would feel horrified to think that they have made you feel this way.

I also get a little annoyed when people cite 'child care issues' as an excuse for not pulling their weight. My children have always come with me to do my horses, they love it, they've learnt how to behave appropriately around horses & now they help out (well, after a fashion) why are some people so determined that children can't be allowed to get dirty on a stable yard!
Rant over

I think you should tell them that their routine isn't working for you. You've decided that for the foreseeable future you will only be doing your horses.
I would say that for 50p a day you will put in a feed & Haynet in their stable in the morning.
 
Taking the piss.
My three horses are out and mucked out by 6.30 am...I set off for work at 8 and I'm back by 6pm to see to them.
When kids were little and OH was at work the kids were with me....we made it an adventure.
If they have to take kids to school fine, go straight to see to the horses after that.
Horses are a massive commitment, but you have to get your arse into gear and be organised.
 
I have a child (8 months) and have just bought a horse - I'm trying my hardest to juggle everything and in the day, she comes with me in a sling on my back whilst I poo pick/muck out (not handle horses before anyone jumps on the H&S bandwagon lol). My horse lives out but comes in for a feed/haynet in the evening and then back out again- this is done when Daddy gets home and bubs is in bed (usually around 7pm).

It's hard but I make it work! I could never afford full livery and enjoy stable chores etc, but I do have time constraints. The yard I'm at is small, only my boy and YO's 2 horses which can be awkward when we're not all there at the same time but thankfully my lad is a gem at coming in by himself for grub, and YO feeds her 2 in the field shelter if she's there and I'm not (otherwise all 3 come in).

I don't know of many people who can make lots of time in the day for their horse, unless they are a student on school hols/stay at home mum whose kids are at school/don't work/work from home/work at the stables - so it's all about time management and a balance. Neither your kids or your horse should lose out and it certainly isn't up to others to pick up the slack (unless rewarded for it in either payment or in reciprocating chores!) x
 
When your nature is naturally helpful its so easy to be sucked in. I once had four at DIY livery, when we went away on holiday they all moved to go on full livery on another yard. I or my daughters did them between us so we covered ourselves for odd days and gradually people would ask us to check theirs, bring them in odd days and weekends, it culminated one Christmas when we were looking after eight including our own. The thing was we were never 'paid' back, not even a bottle of wine or a box of chocs.
I think the assumption is as your already there you don't mind. I would either say no although or work out a token system, you get more to start as you have already done so much for them and once they have spent their tokens they either earn them off you or have to pay you cash, or find someone else to do their work.
 
Yep, they are taking the proverbial. Probably not deliberately. It's like when you're undercharged at a cafe or something, you just don't mention it as it's to your benefit!

As suggested earlier, I'd say that due to a change in your own circumstances (I'd make up a good fib here, because I wouldn't want to fall out with them!) you can't do their horses any more and will just do your own.

The suggestion made earlier that they get together and sort a rota between the two of them is a good one.

Ditto re charging if you have to do anything - get a book and keep a list. Because if a horse's welfare is at stake, they know and you know that you'll do what it takes to keep the horse happy - so by explaining that you will be charging, you can deter this.
 
Its a really difficult situation and one I can heartily sympathise with. I rent a yard with 2 other people but my name is on the lease so everytime there are problems I am expected to sort it out. We have 6 stables so we have at least 2 other liveries if not 3 to make up the rent (they pay full price and we split what is left over to pay between the 3 of us).
At the moment the 2 other liveries are endlessly asking us to just put hay in or feed or just turnout etc. We initially asked that they do yard duties at weekends like sweeping, muck heap tidying etc but it never happens so we are now going to charge for everything other than morning feed.
What really annoys me is that they turn up to do the horse in the morning and then leave at lunchtime, leave a couple of haynets and dont turn up again until the following afternoon. We do have automatic drinkers but their beds are a real state by that point and no one asks that we check them or their rugs (we do of course) but it is the assumption that makes me cross.
I too have a little girl and she comes up to the yard with me twice a day every day and loves it. When I need to turn out etc and I'm on my own I just put her in the pushchair.
 
I agree with all of the above, though when you do sit down together to come up with a fair agreement (that includes timings in the mornings that need sticking to) then you probably will have to take into consideration that you have 2 horses and they have 1 each. The share could be divided into 4 with you having half and them a quarter each?
I wouldn't be agreeing to do all weekend mornings, they get to stay in and you don't? Maybe rotate the weekends (you do two a month and they do one each, something like that).
If they don't stick to it or let you down then they need to pay you for part livery
 
Yep they are taking the P!

Child care/work shouldn't be an excuse when you've a horse. Change your job/livery/childcare. Whatever it is you change it. It's ok asking for a hand every now and again but not all the time. If you don't have time then get a sharer.
I work nights so I can fit everything into my life, there is no way I would be able to do it all otherwise (unless the horse goes on full/grass livery) I put my son into breakfast club over the winter so he does have to be the yard in the cold which means I get to the horse for 8:15, morning down the yard I do all the jobs that need doing back for lunch then to bed. Do school run and a quick bring in, back to cook tea and spend time with the OH before work again. I pay one lad to do a few days full livery per week which includes riding, so I can spend a Saturday with the family which keeps a good balance to family/work/horse. It can work
 
Certainly the 3rd person is taking the mick. It seems that you and the 2nd person had a mutual agreement that suited you both, she turned out and mucked out yours Mon-Fri and in exchange you brought hers in 7 days.
However now person 3 is expecting you to bring hers in 7 days and isn't actually contributing anything extra.
Unless you want either a bad atmosphere or rid of your liveries then I suggest the sit down over a cup of tea and come to an amicable solution, be it you all do your own except for one off help around pre arranged dates (ie holidays) or you work out what seems fair.
ie Mon-Fri they turn out, muck out, water, hay, do feeds and you bring in, then at weekends everyone does their own.
 
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