People with Sharers

M

Morrigan_Lady

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18 December 2006
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www.teamterrellshowjumping.co.uk
How did you feel when you first had a sharer?

Ive got a girl who wants to help me with my two horses, but Im really not too comfortable with it!
Ive never had any help with my horses and Ive always done them myself and Ive never really liked anyone riding them either (eccept my Mum!)
She can ride, although I wouldnt want her schooling as I dont think she is a good enough rider, but I dont mind her riding one with me when I ride the other out on a hack.
Grrrr, Im all confused and my brain hurts, coz I know Im gonna be greatful for the help in the winter, but coz Ive always done them myself I know how I do things and Im quite particulur!
Any advise would be greatly recieved
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Dont think you should get a sharer, they will just wind you up!

I wouldnt have one either. Even the girl I pay to school mine twice a week does my head in....however as I am paying her, I tell her!
 
I have had a few sharers, all excellent but I did have to be a bit selective. I normally go with someone who is going to care for the horse, if riding skills are not quite up to it then perhaps suggest a lesson once a month? Your hacking idea sounds like a good one, maybe gentle correct her riding whilst on the hack, just suggesting how to ride your horse, as you know them best. Her help, especially in the winter, if she is keen will be invaluable!!Its coming up to cold and flu season so always nice to have some reliable support to help out! Just be prepared to except that she may do things a different way. Initially I always do a few days where sharer sees my rountine and then I let them get on with things whilst pottering around the yard encase they need me but also to keep an eye out for anything that might worry me about what they are doing plus I get a feel for how they got on with my horse, its almost like a trial period, once Im happy they know their way round the yard and get on with the horse I leave them to it although I have a fantastic YO who lets me know of any concerns so i can tackle them myself.
 
It really doesn't sound like you're very keen on the idea, so what's making you consider it?

I've been a sharer with my horse and it was fairly uncomfortable, even though his owner was on the other side of the world most of the time!

If you're really not happy, don't do it, it'll be far harder to get out of it that to not start in the first place. Could you just let her have occaisional rides if it would be too hard to say no?

Great username, BTW
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I have recently got a sharer for my mare. After about a year of putting it off. I have always done my girl on my own before, but am now having chemo, so its a bit much for me to cope with. She is FAB. I saw about 30 people before I found her. I dont feel worried because she is an excellent rider, she pampers my girlie as though she were hers. I am yet to teach the art of mucking out, as I like things done my way. She has a schooling lesson on her once a month with an instructor I suggested, and things seem to be going well.
I HATED the thought of someone else riding my girl, But i had to think about it for her sake. She needs to be ridden at least 4 times a week, or she gets cranky (typical mare!) My sharer helps take the pressure off. If i'm in hospital, I still know she is being ridden. I am at a yard with a great YO, who keeps me updated on sharers progress.
Good Luck on your decision, maybe you need to look for a better rider then you might worry less. Its always hard sharing your very precious babies! xx
 
I felt exactly the same, if that helps, so just stick to letting her hack with you for now, and then you are in charge and can supervise everything.

Someone not so experienced is easier to mold - you can show her how you like stuff done. The more experienced riders will be too stuck in their ways and want to do it how they've always done it, so if she is willing and open minded, you shouldn't have so many problems.

And it's worth being honest - say to her you like things done in such and such a way. I have my own yard and had several sharers and a friend/livery over the years and they all did things that drove me mad.

But rather than let it build up to the point of exploding, I learned to diffuse the situation by making a joke of it - ie sorry about my obsessive compulsive disorder, but can you do it like this because it drives me mad otherwise - that went down better than when I let it go and then suddenly lost it about something quite trivial!

You might be pleasantly surprised too about the riding aspect - she might improve with your guidance, especially as the post above suggests, you encourage her to have some lessons with your choice of instructor.

It is always worth a try if you could do with help, just set out the rules first.
 
I have just got a wonderful sharer. It was really hard at first, watching someone else ride my baby!!

I think you have to be completely honest about what they can & cannot do, and be ultra fussy with who you choose.

If you are not 110% comfortable, then dont do it.
 
Can i ask why you want sharer????

If you do want to DON'T DO, but if you need dosh you'll have to find someone you like and can train to your way of thinking.........

It can take time but be prepared to compremise on something, i always get someone who love my ggs, who can handle them well, so therefore the riding is not always great. But i have two schoolmasters really - who will take someone for hack nicely..........

But really work out WHY you want to have sharer
 
I have 4 horse and have taken 2 sharers for my tb, I bought her to replace a long term sick pony who made a 'miraculous' recovery, bl**dy vet!

They are ace!! They exercise my housemates horses for her as they are sharing 1 so can't ride togeather and she doesn't always have time for both of hers, they also exercise my old mare who tends to be an ornament due to my lack of time.

They keep my yard swept and tidy, let the dogs out and put them away again, feed my old mare her meds most days, change rugs for everything when they do the tb, fill the trough etc,

I have more time and have been able to keep my extra horse!

Having said that I had some shockers come to try her out when I was looking for a sharer so if you want one, shop around, if you don't want 1, don't have 1, simple. I am still uncomfortable about them riding or mucking out my baby when I'm not there and they are fantastic with all the others, it's irrational!!
 
I wouldnt do it if i were you, particularly if shes already winding you up with the grooming. could be very stressful
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i would just say she can help you out (under your supervision) and hack out with you occasionally. that way she gets to learn how you do things and you get to see how shes doing, without making any firm commitment. problem with these things is that once you go into them, it can be very difficult to back out later
 
Please please DONT get a sharer, or at least find someone you trust with your horses 110%.

Im a sharer and you sound like my idea of a total nightmare owner!!! If you are going to share your horse you need to understand that if your sharer does something differently to you, BUT does it effectively and in a safe manner, then that is actually OK. If you dont think she is good enough to ride your horses in the school, or hack out alone, then DONT have her help you!!!!!! If you dont think you can trust anyone then I dont think sharing is for you at all!

I treat my share horse as my own, his owner trusts me enough to do anything I want with him- even suggesting feeds etc, I do her other horse for her on my days, and have had an AMAZING 2 years riding/looking after B, but that is only because of the trust that the owner and I have.
There are plenty of sharers out there who are very capable, effective riders horsemen/women who would be willing to help you out .........
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What Lexie said
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I would hate to think of myself being called black and blue on a public internet forum in this way, hence I will not be a sharer again. Wonder how many others are put off?
 
Fair enough, I suppose I'd just hate to have my competence (ie not being good enough to school, grooming etc) discussed like this behind my back! I'd be really embarrassed if I found out actually.

What Lexie said is true, there are many very capable riders out there and many of them don't have horses for all sorts of reasons - not just because they are numpties
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But I do think that if you are going to share, you do have to learn to let go a little - things not being done in exactly the way that you as the owner does them will not kill anyone if they are done in a different, but still safe and correct, way
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I hear what you saying, I do need to chill abit!!

Im actually a very laid back person, honest!!
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Im just abit anal when it comes to my horses!!

Im gonna give it a go, poor girl, Ive not even given her a chance and she is very keen and does seem to love my horses.

Right, Im now giving myself a kick up the backside!
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I guess it also depends on the reasoning behind it - so for example say that you are always very BHS about how youi put a rug on, while your sharer is a bit more cavalier in her approach, and slings it on (hypothetical example here!).

Now, if you have a horse that gets spooked by flying rugs, the BHS, carefully folded way is best (and you need to explain this to you sharer before she gets laminated to the stable wall
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But if it's just your way, then a bit of a more haphazard approach will be fine, so long as it's still safe and not dragging against the lie of the horse's coat etc.

If she loves them that's a great start IMO - she won't be likely to leave them out all night when it's cold cos she wants to stay in the warm, or treat them like galloping machines
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It must be really odd from your point of view too, letting them go to an extent
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Why not go for something less formal, agree to let her hack out with you on say monday and wednesday, in return for helping with stable duties those days and doing both on their day off.

No money changes hands but you get one complete day off and two days where you only have to ride one and have help down the yard. You could ask her for a contribution to keep too, but in my mind this tends to up the expectations and formalise things. If it more about an extra pair of hand than the money, maybe forget money until you are at a stage where perhaps you are happy for her to do a bit more.

It is really invaluable to have someone who will go down to the yard when you are ill/held up at work/on holiday/want a day off. If it is someone who knows your horses and their routine and that your horses know and trust then all the better, as this is less work.

Her riding may only be up to hacking for now and that is fine, but maybe suggest a regular lesson on one of yours so that she improves. If she paid for this then it wouldn't affect you and the horse may actually benefit.

With the stable duties as long as it is safe let it go. Fine to show her how you like things doing but try not to dictate too much. For example if she thinks it is fine to just brush off the saddle patch and worst of the muck before riding then do a full groom after but you like your horse to be gleaming before you ride does it matter? If her beds tend to be a bit messy after mucking out does it matter as long as they are deep enough?

It would be a shame to loose the chance to have a free second pair of hands (and maybe some cash) just because you are picky about how she grooms and mucks out.

If she is fairly novicey herself though she would probably welcome some help though, sharing is a big learning experience and a great opportunity to prepare for having your own too.
 
I don't think you should share...sounds as though you really don't want to and it won't be much fun..Will probably cause you a lot of stress and worry.

I think you have to be a certain type of person to let someone share your horse, relaxed and very easy going...or the sharer is a good friend who you 101% trust.
 
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I hear what you saying, I do need to chill abit!!

Im actually a very laid back person, honest!!
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Im just abit anal when it comes to my horses!!

Im gonna give it a go, poor girl, Ive not even given her a chance and she is very keen and does seem to love my horses.

Right, Im now giving myself a kick up the backside!
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Very true...... It is difficult to let go of our "babies" I had a sharer in the past, aswell as being a sharer now but if you can find the right sharer then they will become invaluable to you..... I do however think you need to be able to trust them unsupervised!

Take last night for instance... I get an email from B and W's owner to say shes stuck at work and cant get down, can I do W for her.... of course I can, am going to do B anyway...... so ride b, poo pick field, check over W...... decided NOT to rug them... was V warm, feed pones.... text owner as leaving to say both V happy/healthy and NOT rugged..... text back from owner to say "your a life saver, and if you think they dont need their rugs then i compeletely agree....."
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Can you see yourself doing that with your prospective sharer???
 
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Take last night for instance... I get an email from B and W's owner to say shes stuck at work and cant get down, can I do W for her.... of course I can, am going to do B anyway...... so ride b, poo pick field, check over W...... decided NOT to rug them... was V warm, feed pones.... text owner as leaving to say both V happy/healthy and NOT rugged..... text back from owner to say "your a life saver, and if you think they dont need their rugs then i compeletely agree....."
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Can you see yourself doing that with your prospective sharer???

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I don't think it has to be like that. I don't think there is anything wrong with a situation where your sharer gives you a call and says do you think she should have her rugs on?? As long as you are confident that your sharer will contact you if she is unsure that should be fine. It is even better if you have a few people on the yard who can keep an eye on her and be a knowlegable contact if she is unsure.

Get a green sharer and mould her into your own image!!
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I didnt say it had to be like that and at the beginning I would of asked the owner....... however after 2 years with her she trusts me.... to do what is right by her horses!
 
Now you have all confused me, I was thinking about getting some one to part loan my recently broken mare as just found out im pregnant and she dose need alot of work which i'm not going to be able to give her soon now i'm confused.
 
Why you confused???? Find a sharer with experience, willing to bring on a young'un, and bingo........ just dont expect to be able to charge a fortune if they are good enough to be able to bring on a young'un
 
Spirited - start looking for a sharer/loaner, it will be invaluable when you are unable to ride, or not feeling up to going down to the stables. It will also mean there is no pressure to get back in the saddle earlier than you want to.

There are genuinely good people out there, and there are people who want as much or as little as you need.

Make a post with your approximate location and you might find a fellow HHOer that is looking for a share/loan.

I'd seriously consider a 6-12 month fixed term loan as it would help me convince DH that having our own isn't just a pipedream!!! You might also find people are happy with a loan that is time limited as they have other comitments, say a place at uni next year or a horse needing a long period off work.

Don't dismiss the idea on the grounds of a couple of bad experiences at the outset. The crucial thing is dialogue and honesty, I wish the owner of the horse I used to ride had talked to me rather than just moving him away while I was on holiday. I still have no idea whether it was anything to do with me and I really missed the horse. I never got a proper explanation, they left it to the yard owner to tell me and I was gutted.
 
The fact that she doesn't ride that well is a bit minor, i think. A lot of people who are looking for shares are doing so because they need more bum-in-saddle time than can be gained at the average riding school. You can't improve without regular practivce, and an hour once a week simply isn't enough. So, if she's riding your two regularly, you'll probably see a huge improvement in her riding in a fairly short space of time.

C let me loose with Brooklyn, even though i knew stuff-all, and I learned EVERYTHING from the two of them (including how to fall off, and why you shouldn't try to stop an Irish hunter/SJer by pointing it at a 5-foot hedge *eek*). If you get the right person, who genuinely wants to learn and will take your guidance and advice, then you'll have a really valuable asset in that sharer.
 
I dont have a sharer but i share. I was chattting to the owner of the horse i share, and asked if she found it weird someone else riding her horse. she said she had a lot of people come and see him and take him for a 'test-ride' and she said she didnt feel happy with them riding him. They didn't treat him as she would want them to either (not that they were cruel or anything) I treat and love him as though he was my own but also remembering that he is someone elses and if they do something with him in a certain way, i should do the same.

I think if you are not happy with the sharer, then you shouldn't have her ride your horse. You've both got to be 110% happy with each other for the share to work out.
 
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Take last night for instance... I get an email from B and W's owner to say shes stuck at work and cant get down, can I do W for her.... of course I can, am going to do B anyway...... so ride b, poo pick field, check over W...... decided NOT to rug them... was V warm, feed pones.... text owner as leaving to say both V happy/healthy and NOT rugged..... text back from owner to say "your a life saver, and if you think they dont need their rugs then i compeletely agree....."
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Can you see yourself doing that with your prospective sharer???

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I don't think it has to be like that. I don't think there is anything wrong with a situation where your sharer gives you a call and says do you think she should have her rugs on?? As long as you are confident that your sharer will contact you if she is unsure that should be fine. It is even better if you have a few people on the yard who can keep an eye on her and be a knowlegable contact if she is unsure.

Get a green sharer and mould her into your own image!!
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I totally agree with this. I think until you know the horse well enough, it's fine to be able to call/text the owner for advice. When i first started sharing my current share horse, i got back from riding one day and, although it was quite warm, it was raining. Now i knew he was usually rugged when it rained (as he didnt like going in his field shelter at the time) so i called his owner to see whether i should stick a rug on or leave him naked. I didnt want to leave it off and for his to get cold (wussy TB!) but didnt want to stick it on and for him to boil!! His owner said that she would rather i contact her if im unsure rather than just do what i think is the right thing, even if it is.
 
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