Perimenopause and riding …

M

motherof2beasts!

Well-Known Member
Joined
17 March 2021
Messages
605
Visit site
I am only 40 but pretty sure it’s begun , night sweats , mood swings, insomnia. Anyhow onto horses, I’ve always been a more cautious rider (since having children) but I would now say I’m a very nervous rider.

In the school I’m confident but I’ve developed a real nervousness hacking, we did have a very scary experience too which I’m sure also played a part. Its open spaces /seeing livestock that gets the anxiety going as that’s Apollos issue, solid with machinery but has previously bolted on seeing a cow…..

Has anyone had any success with somehow developing confidence in this area specifically?

My current go to will be frowned upon by most but when he tenses up and head hits my chin , starts jogging , blowing etc I just get off and lead past then get back on. I’ve had a lot of comments about doing this and how “bad” it is, but it seems to work. If he’s mega tense and then I’m mega tense it’s too hard for me to think rationally and deal with it. When I panic I tend to freeze and on a flight animal that’s not always helpful either 🙈
 
hi,

I can't help you too much with the first part but don't feel bad for getting off and leading him past something scary. He needs reassurance, you give it to him and then get back on. You get both of you through a difficult situation - well done!! Also, if you decide you don't want to ride out hacking again for now that's ok, walk him out in hand or long rein or get someone else to hack him - your horse, do what you want.

My other advice would be maybe look into Jane Pike's work. There is a lot of sense in there (although in the end the scientist in me got fed up with how waffly she is). When I was subscribed I used a video she had on decoupling to let go of a memory of being scared out hacking and it did really help. If you subscribe for a trial period she might still have it available.
 
Obviously got to preface this by saying you should consider a doctor’s appointment for a blood test — hopefully they will be sympathetic and take you seriously. I think people are more aware about perimenopause these days… But I was going to suggest a hormonal supplement, it might help support and balance things a bit for you? There’s a good company called Wild Nutrition for things like this. I’ve got various vitamins from them.
 
motherof2beasts! said:
I am only 40 but pretty sure it’s begun , night sweats , mood swings, insomnia. Anyhow onto horses, I’ve always been a more cautious rider (since having children) but I would now say I’m a very nervous rider.

In the school I’m confident but I’ve developed a real nervousness hacking, we did have a very scary experience too which I’m sure also played a part. Its open spaces /seeing livestock that gets the anxiety going as that’s Apollos issue, solid with machinery but has previously bolted on seeing a cow…..

Has anyone had any success with somehow developing confidence in this area specifically?

My current go to will be frowned upon by most but when he tenses up and head hits my chin , starts jogging , blowing etc I just get off and lead past then get back on. I’ve had a lot of comments about doing this and how “bad” it is, but it seems to work. If he’s mega tense and then I’m mega tense it’s too hard for me to think rationally and deal with it. When I panic I tend to freeze and on a flight animal that’s not always helpful either 🙈
Click to expand...
If it works for you, what's wrong with it? If you were turning round and going home it would be a different matter but he is still going where you want him to go, you are in charge. Take no notice of what other, ignorant, people say.
 
I think your in a similar place that I was a couple of years ago. No confidence, questioning my horse ownership choices. Some on here mentioned it might be the start of menopause and I was at first shocked, but after a bit of research and a chat with my doctor I changed my diet slightly and started taking a peri-menopause supplement from Holland and barrett. At first I wasn't convinced it worked but when I ran out of tablets I really noticed the difference.

FYI- I'm more than happy to hop off and lead an unsure pony past an obstacle.
 
HRT worked for most of my symptoms. It wasn't great for sleep issues but did considerably reduce my anxiety levels which were ridiculous. I also have a prescribed supply of beta blockers for when I feel something starting to ramp up the anxiety again.

If you need to get off, do so. Riding and horses should be enjoyable and you need to do what works for you in a situation. Don't let the fear of being looked down on by others put you off.
 
Red-1 said:
HRT worked for me, especially once testosterone was added in.

I wish I hadn't resisted it for the 7 years of suffering I endured first!
Click to expand...

I'm hoping it will help me too (will be picking up my first prescription tomorrow!) I think it started in earnest about 18 months /2 years ago but when I went to the doc it was a bit thrown by my bloods showing that I had a severe vit D deficiency.

OP - I'm 48 now and have struggled finding the right horse since I lost my heart in horse in 2017. I've never been quite the same since having children but I've got progressively worse these last few years. I lose my nerve with a horse so easily and haven't been able to find a reliable one that I can trust. Most of the horses I had up until the last few years never bucked, could be left for weeks and then dragged out the field and got on without a second thought, etc. What's changed? Have horses changed or is it me?

Having lost a load of money on horses that didn't work out, I bought an old polo pony because I knew polo ponies are pretty bombproof and have great manners and retiring ones are cheap. Yes, she is bombproof and has fab manners but she is bloody quick and will put in a leap and a buck in canter 🤦‍♀️ so still not quite what I need. So I mostly just plod round the lanes about once a week now. Yesterday I noticed that someone had made a tiny little jump out of a small branch that had fallen out of a tree. I trotted up to it, she jumped it nicely and cantered away from it sweetly and sensibly and the adrenaline rush it gave me was unbelievable! This is someone who used to fly round team chases and over big hedges and now I lose the plot jumping a twig on the ground! 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, I heard that peri-menopause can massively affect your confidence so I'm hoping HRT will bring an improvement (and to my melting face, sagging arse, increasing middle, painful joints, disappearing muscles..)
 
Thanks all for advice.

Firstly I would never sell him, he is part of the family and I love him to bits. He is a sensitive soul but I do enjoy him. I think his fear of livestock has transferred to me 🙈 he’s solid 95% of the time but the 5% he’s not he’s very flighty and can run in fear so jumping off kind of stops that awful out of control feeling I get when he tenses up. We both love hacking most of the time but like yesterday eg about 18 deer appeared beside me and then took off, I got off as if I’m on the ground he’s fine , if I stayed on he’d likely run, forwards or spin and run the opposite way.

No issues in school, weirdly I can walk him in hand past livestock , if I’m in front but that fear seems to stay if I’m on board. Sheep are fine cows, pigs and donkeys are a flat no or anything running.

I’ve had a few comments about selling etc but I would never consider this.

I had radiation therapy in my 20s and a disclaimer was possible early menopause. I’ll book to see docs , had a migraine for a week now too …. Yay , bloody hormones.
 
marmalade76 said:
I'm hoping it will help me too (will be picking up my first prescription tomorrow!) I think it started in earnest about 18 months /2 years ago but when I went to the doc it was a bit thrown by my bloods showing that I had a severe vit D deficiency.

OP - I'm 48 now and have struggled finding the right horse since I lost my heart in horse in 2017. I've never been quite the same since having children but I've got progressively worse these last few years. I lose my nerve with a horse so easily and haven't been able to find a reliable one that I can trust. Most of the horses I had up until the last few years never bucked, could be left for weeks and then dragged out the field and got on without a second thought, etc. What's changed? Have horses changed or is it me?

Having lost a load of money on horses that didn't work out, I bought an old polo pony because I knew polo ponies are pretty bombproof and have great manners and retiring ones are cheap. Yes, she is bombproof and has fab manners but she is bloody quick and will put in a leap and a buck in canter 🤦‍♀️ so still not quite what I need. So I mostly just plod round the lanes about once a week now. Yesterday I noticed that someone had made a tiny little jump out of a small branch that had fallen out of a tree. I trotted up to it, she jumped it nicely and cantered away from it sweetly and sensibly and the adrenaline rush it gave me was unbelievable! This is someone who used to fly round team chases and over big hedges and now I lose the plot jumping a twig on the ground! 🤦‍♀️

Anyway, I heard that peri-menopause can massively affect your confidence so I'm hoping HRT will bring an improvement (and to my melting face, sagging arse, increasing middle, painful joints, disappearing muscles..)
Click to expand...

I agree , think back in the day they all lived out in herds on huge amounts of land , I never used to stable, maybe they were knackered ….. now no choice but to have in overnight not enough grass/space etc.

Apollo is overweight and the unfortunate part is as he slims a bit and gets a bit fitter he also gets a bit sharper.

Ultimately it was one very bad situation that I think continues to haunt me, I hated that out of control feeling.
 
Get yourself a copy of Davina McColl's and Dr Naomi Potter's book Menopausing, read it from cover to cover, esp the bits written by the Doctor. The book covers HRT in depth but also other treatments too in less depth.

Then make a list of your symptoms. Then make a list of the NICE symptoms of perimenopause. Then have a think about what treatment (HRT or not) you would like to try. Then phone your GP and ask to see the Menopause Specialist. (All GP surgeries are supposed to have one GP trained in such). Go there armed with your printouts and manage your appointment.

HRT is a very personal choice but if you do go down the HRT route and it's not for you, it's a daily dose so you can easily stop taking it. It's not irreversible.

I had a Mirena coil fitted during my peri-menopause. It releases progresterone and stops womb lining growing (and therefore stops polyps growing if they are womb lining overgrowths as mine were, which had caused humungous bleeding and pain).

Post-menopause (blood test needed as you don't get periods with a Mirena fitted so how would you know you've finished your menopause) I had a new Mirena coil fitted and now have a daily oestrogen gel. Been on that regime for two years now.
 
Can't advise specifically on perimenopause as I'm not allowed to have any kind of HRT (or anything hormone based) if I need it. But after giving birth I was definitely a lot more anxious. I had a 5yo almost 18hh warm blood at the time, who'd just had 9 months off. Not a great combination! Like you I just hopped off if it was too much though. Ignore the nay sayers. It works and as time goes by you do it less and less.

Gradually my confidence came back. Purely through exposure and repetition. Like we give them. I have a very sensible Dales now and I actually find myself hoping we will stumble across a shoot, or a hunt, so we can have a bit more fizz! Not something I ever imagined, but you will get through it.
 
I'm like you, OP. Was always a cautious rider and rarely jumped anything, but perimenopause made it ridiculous. HRT has taken the edge of the physical symptoms, but I still get quite anxious riding. CBD oil is a godsend if I remember to take it (spoiler - I don't!). I was prescribed beta-blockers, but I'm bradycardic and they made me practically clinically dead. I did an ultra in 2023 and my heart rate was still about 70-something when we were 12 miles in! Haven't taken them since. They are effective, though. I started with symptoms in my 30s and was fobbed off until I was about 44. I think the NICE guidelines suggest HRT without blood test after age 42 (correct me if I'm wrong, someone!). When my blood was tested though, it was for FSH and something else, definitely not oestrogen or progesterone. That was aged about 40, though, so may have changed.
 
there is no problem with getting off and leading your horse past! they're not going to think you're a hero because you stayed on and rode through it! you've got off, given them the confidence they need to get past the monster that is scaring them. I found this out the yard way! my horse was scared by a massive lorry, I got him past it and as we were just past the air brakes released, my horse panicked, span and dumped me on the road! i really hurt myself but had to drag myself back on because I couldn't manage the walk back to the yard! the ride wasn't much easier! but had I have just got off and lead him past we'd have probably got far enough past that the air brakes sound wouldn't have scared him so much! now both of us tense up when something big comes along!
 
When I look back, my peri symptoms coincided with me getting Charlie and neither helped the other! To begin with, the anxiety I was feeling only seemed to be horse related, which I put down to having a new horse and everything that went with it. As things came to a head with him (I won't bore you with the details, I posted about it plenty in early 2022!) my anxiety, low mood and teariness got worse, partly due to the situation but also a big part of it was peri-related and I only started to realise this when it started creeping into other parts of my life.

HRT, when I finally got off my backside and asked for it (I spent months intending to do it but I just couldn't summon the energy to try to get a dr's appointment) made a big difference but even though it helped with the Charlie related anxiety, it also helped me have a clear enough head to recognise it was time to call it a day with him and gave me the oomph I needed to sell him. Getting Wiggy AND being on HRT was like being 25 again!

I'm starting to notice some of those symptoms creeping back (not Wiggy related other than being sad I can't ride him at the moment due to his injury) so need to go back to the dr for a higher dose I think - I just need to summon the energy again, that's one of the things that's come back.

The only thing I'd say is blood tests won't necessarily show anything as hormones don't reduce in a linear fashion, they can be up and down or can carry on as normal, then drop of a cliff (which doesn't mean you're not in peri) so a lot of drs won't do them, the best way is a HRT trial to see if it improves. You should have a blood test though to check it's nothing else. Mine revealed a thyroid problem which was sorted with drugs but the symptoms remained even after that was under control. That's when I went on the HRT.
 
motherof2beasts! said:
I am only 40 but pretty sure it’s begun , night sweats , mood swings, insomnia. Anyhow onto horses, I’ve always been a more cautious rider (since having children) but I would now say I’m a very nervous rider.

In the school I’m confident but I’ve developed a real nervousness hacking, we did have a very scary experience too which I’m sure also played a part. Its open spaces /seeing livestock that gets the anxiety going as that’s Apollos issue, solid with machinery but has previously bolted on seeing a cow…..

Has anyone had any success with somehow developing confidence in this area specifically?

My current go to will be frowned upon by most but when he tenses up and head hits my chin , starts jogging , blowing etc I just get off and lead past then get back on. I’ve had a lot of comments about doing this and how “bad” it is, but it seems to work. If he’s mega tense and then I’m mega tense it’s too hard for me to think rationally and deal with it. When I panic I tend to freeze and on a flight animal that’s not always helpful either 🙈
Click to expand...
Whaaat? Look, if you need to get off to give both you and the horse confidence to proceed, just do it and be grateful that you can actually get back on - my age, and you HAVE to stay on board the silly, coiled up, hyper-viper, try to ride it through, and hope that neither of us comes unstuck....
Pay no attention to unhelpful judgements, whatsoever.
If you could find a hacking buddy with a phlegmatic horse, that probably would help you both to get going again, because endless circling the manège is unlikely to prove long term satisfactory for you or the horse.
 
I've got a massive writer's block at the moment and whilst there's loads I want to say on this subject, none of it will come out :rolleyes:

However, I can make one recommendation: have a look at the facebook group called 'Menopause, Perimenopause Support, let’s enjoy living… UK Based'. It's a great resource, with frank and honest, straight-talking people, and there are LOADS of horsey people on there too, including at least one of the admins. Some of the people reading this thread are probably in it as well.

If I can get my head working at some point soon, I'll come back to this and actually offer some advice.

Actually, one key point - don't be fobbed off by doctors.
 
I got chucked into chemical menopause due to cancer and have luckily noticed no difference in my confidence riding. I think I am still the same I was before which is not terribly brave but still out competing at 1.10m and eventing. I am fatter and have hot legs at night but other than that am 2 years down the line and I can cope. I can’t have HRT and have to take hormone blockers but I take a tonne of vitamins and minerals. I am obsessed with vitamin D and take 5000ig.
 
Fransurrey said:
I'm like you, OP. Was always a cautious rider and rarely jumped anything, but perimenopause made it ridiculous. HRT has taken the edge of the physical symptoms, but I still get quite anxious riding. CBD oil is a godsend if I remember to take it (spoiler - I don't!). I was prescribed beta-blockers, but I'm bradycardic and they made me practically clinically dead. I did an ultra in 2023 and my heart rate was still about 70-something when we were 12 miles in! Haven't taken them since. They are effective, though. I started with symptoms in my 30s and was fobbed off until I was about 44. I think the NICE guidelines suggest HRT without blood test after age 42 (correct me if I'm wrong, someone!). When my blood was tested though, it was for FSH and something else, definitely not oestrogen or progesterone. That was aged about 40, though, so may have changed.
Click to expand...
Same as me, it’s so frustrating as I know if I was braver , Apollo would be braver but my nerves take over. I’m on sertraline but it doesn’t stop the crazy mind !
 
kerrieberry2 said:
there is no problem with getting off and leading your horse past! they're not going to think you're a hero because you stayed on and rode through it! you've got off, given them the confidence they need to get past the monster that is scaring them. I found this out the yard way! my horse was scared by a massive lorry, I got him past it and as we were just past the air brakes released, my horse panicked, span and dumped me on the road! i really hurt myself but had to drag myself back on because I couldn't manage the walk back to the yard! the ride wasn't much easier! but had I have just got off and lead him past we'd have probably got far enough past that the air brakes sound wouldn't have scared him so much! now both of us tense up when something big comes along!
Click to expand...
I don’t find it a big problem , I get back on as soon as I’m passed said problem but you do get the odd judgement comment thrown at you. So sorry to hear about your fall. My fear started with a bolt my brain just won’t forget 🙈
 
Annagain said:
When I look back, my peri symptoms coincided with me getting Charlie and neither helped the other! To begin with, the anxiety I was feeling only seemed to be horse related, which I put down to having a new horse and everything that went with it. As things came to a head with him (I won't bore you with the details, I posted about it plenty in early 2022!) my anxiety, low mood and teariness got worse, partly due to the situation but also a big part of it was peri-related and I only started to realise this when it started creeping into other parts of my life.

HRT, when I finally got off my backside and asked for it (I spent months intending to do it but I just couldn't summon the energy to try to get a dr's appointment) made a big difference but even though it helped with the Charlie related anxiety, it also helped me have a clear enough head to recognise it was time to call it a day with him and gave me the oomph I needed to sell him. Getting Wiggy AND being on HRT was like being 25 again!

I'm starting to notice some of those symptoms creeping back (not Wiggy related other than being sad I can't ride him at the moment due to his injury) so need to go back to the dr for a higher dose I think - I just need to summon the energy again, that's one of the things that's come back.

The only thing I'd say is blood tests won't necessarily show anything as hormones don't reduce in a linear fashion, they can be up and down or can carry on as normal, then drop of a cliff (which doesn't mean you're not in peri) so a lot of drs won't do them, the best way is a HRT trial to see if it improves. You should have a blood test though to check it's nothing else. Mine revealed a thyroid problem which was sorted with drugs but the symptoms remained even after that was under control. That's when I went on the HRT.
Click to expand...
I have mentioned my concerns to doctors, especially when I had some gynae issues , I felt were related . They said I didn’t have a menopausal vag 🙈 doesn’t stop the bloody night sweats and weird waking up in a panic over nothing at all.
 
Exasperated said:
Whaaat? Look, if you need to get off to give both you and the horse confidence to proceed, just do it and be grateful that you can actually get back on - my age, and you HAVE to stay on board the silly, coiled up, hyper-viper, try to ride it through, and hope that neither of us comes unstuck....
Pay no attention to unhelpful judgements, whatsoever.
If you could find a hacking buddy with a phlegmatic horse, that probably would help you both to get going again, because endless circling the manège is unlikely to prove long term satisfactory for you or the horse.
Click to expand...
We still hack minimum twice a week , even though I get wimpy , we both prefer it.
 
JenJ said:
I've got a massive writer's block at the moment and whilst there's loads I want to say on this subject, none of it will come out :rolleyes:

However, I can make one recommendation: have a look at the facebook group called 'Menopause, Perimenopause Support, let’s enjoy living… UK Based'. It's a great resource, with frank and honest, straight-talking people, and there are LOADS of horsey people on there too, including at least one of the admins. Some of the people reading this thread are probably in it as well.

If I can get my head working at some point soon, I'll come back to this and actually offer some advice.

Actually, one key point - don't be fobbed off by doctors.
Click to expand...
Too late I was quickly fobbed off….
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top