plan for mare, had to take it on the chin - reassurance needed.

[showpony]

Long story short some of you know i have the most wonderful 5 yr old.... We have come on leaps and bounds together on the flat but have had issues with my confidence jumping her... Due to nerves... Back in saddle 17 mths now after giving up due to an accident 12 yrs ago...
am a million percent confident on the flat but she strides like a 17hh jumping and has unbelievable power in her back end...
no 2 arrived last week , an uncomplicated 8 yr old Connie, bought to give me confidence jumping, and he is doing just that. ...

so had a massive " debate with my coach" and we have decided i will not jump my mare for the next few mths until i get my seat and lower leg totally secure on my new boy...
breaks my heart but had to step back and agree, there is a rider at the yard who is a fantastic rider whom we have agreed would be perfect to take my mare out jumping whilst i work on myself and getting my confidence way up...

will still be riding my mare 4/5 days a week but am to focus on more schooling and working on having fun on her rather than stressing on what she is going to do when it comes to jumping. We will be aiming to do lots of dressage over the next 2 to 3 mths...

feeling a bit like i have failed her but at same time i think it will be great for us, new boy will get me out competing jumping competitively which will hopefully get me where i want to get with my mare.

has anyone been through this before? Have i made the right decision?

sorry for rant but very emotional about the whole thing.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I'm not sure why your RI has decided that an other rider should be jumping your horse and I don't think that you should allow yourself to be pressured into allowing someone else to ride her if you don't feel happy about it. It won't hurt the mare to have some time off jumping while you concentrate on building your confidence on the gelding. I do think that it is a good idea that you take the pressure off when riding her for a while.

 

[showpony]

In not being pressured into it, she is a horse who loves to jump and needs to be out doing it but unfortunately am just not advanced enough to be the one doing it right now... I don't want her being confined to flatwork, dressage etc when she is so keen to jump.

 

[Shadow-01]

Not quite the same scenario, given the fact that I don't want to jump at all, but I have made the decision not to jump my 8 y/o gelding due to confidence issues.

I lost my confidence jumping (not that I ever had a great deal!) with my old boy who rushed at fences and was incredibly strong, through years of having gone that way (not with me I might add!) After one fall too many I decided to call it a day jumping with him and concentrated on flat work.

I bought my second horse at the end of last year, with the aim to start jumping again, only to find it's just not for me (call me a wuss if you will!) but I just don't enjoy it. Fortunately the new boy enjoys flat work so we're concentrating on dressage.

He also loves his jumping, so rather than hold him back, my friend and previous coach has willingly taken him on as a second ride and is schooling and competing him SJ and XC. He is happy, she is happy and I am more than happy to watch their progress.

The other benefit is that his flatwork is vastly improving from the varied work so a win win situation for us all round.

 

[Persephone]

Maybe you should think about your coach? Perhaps you need someone with a different approach.

 

[be positive]

I think it is a sensible plan, you can gain confidence and experience on the new pony, that was the job he was bought to do, in the meantime someone with the confidence and experience will bring on the mare, you will be in a better position to go on to jump her, she will have been educated further so you should really get the benefit.

I think your instructor has planned a very sensible arrangement and I would probably have suggested much the same.

 

[showpony]

Thank you, i agree to. I don't think i should hold back my mare because of my issues. Was just looking for reasurace that its ok to admit im not ready to jump her right now but allow her to go out and have fun jumping with someone who can handle her over jumps.

I think it is a sensible plan, you can gain confidence and experience on the new pony, that was the job he was bought to do, in the meantime someone with the confidence and experience will bring on the mare, you will be in a better position to go on to jump her, she will have been educated further so you should really get the benefit.

I think your instructor has planned a very sensible arrangement and I would probably have suggested much the same.

 

[be positive]

Thank you, i agree to. I don't think i should hold back my mare because of my issues. Was just looking for reasurace that its ok to admit im not ready to jump her right now but allow her to go out and have fun jumping with someone who can handle her over jumps.

I don't think it is about whether you are holding her back, she doesn't really care about that, more that the person riding her should be aiming to get her ready for you to take on, make sure that she does not get pushed on too quickly and that they are aiming to get her more suitable for you to take over she needs to be kept rideable not rushed to go out and win, that is something that can be forgotten when bringing on a talented horse, the horse must be produced for the owner not for the rider taking it on.

 

[Arizahn]

I don't think it is about whether you are holding her back, she doesn't really care about that, more that the person riding her should be aiming to get her ready for you to take on, make sure that she does not get pushed on too quickly and that they are aiming to get her more suitable for you to take over she needs to be kept rideable not rushed to go out and win, that is something that can be forgotten when bringing on a talented horse, the horse must be produced for the owner not for the rider taking it on.

^^ This, 100%!

I hope you have fun jumping your new chap, OP. And do keep on with your flatwork with your mare - that way you won't lose your bond with her.

 

[showpony]

She will be competed to make her way more jumpable for me.QUOTE=;12036524]^^ This, 100%!

I hope you have fun jumping your new chap, OP. And do keep on with your flatwork with your mare - that way you won't lose your bond with her.[/QUOTE]

 

[showpony]

Thank you.tbh would never lose the connection i have with her.

^^ This, 100%!

I hope you have fun jumping your new chap, OP. And do keep on with your flatwork with your mare - that way you won't lose your bond with her.

 

[gadetra]

I don't think there's any harm in that senario, I think it's quite sensible actually. The mare gets brought on confidently until she's more sure of herself/confident/secure in her jumping until op's confidence catches up, and op still rides her most days. Eminently sensible in my opinion, and putting horse before the rider. Nothing odd / wrong about a more confident person putting a bit of mileage into a young one.

 

[FfionWinnie]

Why not. You need time to get used to the new boy anyway and if you have a good rider available why not make use of her.

 

[babymare]

Have you failed her? Not at all. she is young with many years ahead. you have a fun pony to get your confidrnce up to then start jumping your mare. and in mean time your riding her on flat. sounds damn fine plan to me. i bet you will be jumping her soon because you want to and not because you feel you have to. good luck and keep us posted

 

[Sussexbythesea]

You have done the opposite of failing her you have recognised your limitations and have a good plan in place that will benefit both of you and hopefully you should have a great future together. I wish more people would do this instead of struggling on and damaging both their own and their horses confidence. Good luck

 

[showpony]

Thanks - its just a short term plan for next couple mths & rather than kick on & get out jumping at risk of damaging her due to rider issue I think its the best plan for us both - god am really making myself sound like a crap rider lol, am no world beater but will get there with her .

You have done the opposite of failing her you have recognised your limitations and have a good plan in place that will benefit both of you and hopefully you should have a great future together. I wish more people would do this instead of struggling on and damaging both their own and their horses confidence. Good luck

 

[honetpot]

Slightly different but I had two daughters and several ponies one a pony club schoolmaster. We would often mix and match the girls riding the pony that was most suitable for the riders development or the activity that they were doing. The schoolmaster taught the girls to jump and then they transferred the skills they had learned to bringing on the more novice ponies.
Its very hard for a novice to teach a novice how ever old they are as a lot of riding is feel, I suppose what surprises some people is that you have decided to let someone else ride your horse, which seems to be far more common with dressage horses.

 

[windand rain]

Your RI has come up with the perfect solution the pony will give you the confidence to jump the mare and the mare will be schooled to make her a confidence giver too so you have a win win solution provided of course the mare is ridden the way you want her to be and you are happy with the rate of progress she makes with the other rider, she is after all your horse not a jumping machine for a more experienced/confident rider

 

[elijahasgal]

Actually I think that you are making a super decision. You havent failed your mare, you are actually being the best that you can for her.

You will get more confident on your connie, be able to improve, get better balance, seat etc, for your other, who from what you say has so much power that it is too much for you where you are.

If you struggled on you risked scaring yourself, and putting yourself off altogether, maybe jumping, maybe totally. Much better to realise where you are, and change plan to solve the problem than bat away regardless.

I had a dilemma with a young mare that I bred, even though she is the kindest sweetest mare going, I knew in myself that she was better than me.
I did a deal, and she is now with a pro rider (ex international) who is raving about her, thinking that she could go international herself. the fun for me at the mo is seeing them ride her, and with her pop regually having to grab neck strap as her jump is so powerful!! For me? I am going to start playing later this year again when my foal unexpected foal is weaned on my mare, who also has a bit of a pop, but not as much, and see if I can re find my jump seat!! Its for me a few years since i jumped!!!!