Please can we stop sniping at people? A rant

FanyDuChamp

FanyDuChamp

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I joined this forum after a long time of just watching. I thought I was joining a friendly supportive forum. However, recently a young person has joined, said some silly things about Happy Hackers, which I am one, and is now being harrangued and having rude comments directed at her on a regular basis. Not necessarily on the original post, but on everything she posts.

This girl has learnt her lesson, as she has, could the people who snipe and are being spiteful, please just stop. It makes the forum an unpleasant place to visit. If these people are so disgusted by what she says, then don't read her threads.

To be honest, it is not particularly mature to be an adult and pick on a young person. It is beginning to verge on bullying.

The person is now posting sensibly and making some interesting points. Let her add to the forum without all the bitchiness.

Thanks.
 
I totally agree. We have all made mistakes. Surely we are big enough to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

I have read these thread cringing with embarrassment over the juvenile and unpleasant behaviour of some posters. Some people have really surprised me.
 
I think the forum echos the real horse world and like real life some people wont let bad behaviour slide, others will. You can't force people to feel the same as you - so perhaps in moaning about the snipers, you are just as bad - if you don't like their comments, perhaps - don't read them?
 
I think this is a great forum and would not like to lose it as a novice I look for help from you lot I need you to be there to help improve any problem that might arise, I read your posts and I am learning just like any teen would and I am 51yrs so lets keep this forum positive for all..
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Having just read a cringeworthy example of this I have to agree!
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Kitsune, how is making making multiple juvenile irrelevent comments on an otherwise sensible and serious thread 'not letting bad behaviour slide'?
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I have this Monty Python sketch in my head of where the traffic bollards are attacking people, and the army major comes in front of the camera and says stop it, this is silly, PMSL, it's all silly, now hum the theme tune to Monty Python and see if you laff or not
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I think this thread is entirely unnecessary. It is not down to one or a few posters to decide what can and can't be said. Let people post what they wish, and add your comments directly as you see appropriate. Whilst I agree that personal attacks and sniping is uncalled for, I also think that people truly only get what they give on here.

I don't ever recall a humble person genuinely asking for help EVER being "attacked".
 
I must admit I have been reading on here before, and have thought that some people are a little OTT on what they say, but each to their own.

Some times reading between the lines helps, as typed/texted don't always sound as they would if you said it. (if that makes sence)
 
Ah, the joys of the life of a Forum.
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My Daughter comes on here - she has been warned that posting on NL2 will leave her open to adults and adult behaviour, so if she says anything barking she is likely to be squidged good and proper, she has the Common Room after all.

Hot choccy anyone?
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If a person sets themselves up on a pedestal and then shouts abuse at the commoners then they should not be surprised when the commoners revolt and take every opportunity to knock said person off.
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So few forms of baiting are legal these days. Such a shame.
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Having just read a cringeworthy example of this I have to agree!
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Kitsune, how is making making multiple juvenile irrelevent comments on an otherwise sensible and serious thread 'not letting bad behaviour slide'?
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Well obviously you will have to ask the people posting, but I suggest just as the OP was childish and juvenille to to others - so are others being to her. Like flea said, you get what you give and other people posting a thread moaning about people sniping isn't likely to help the dust settle is it?
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I think the forum echos the real horse world and like real life some people wont let bad behaviour slide, others will. You can't force people to feel the same as you - so perhaps in moaning about the snipers, you are just as bad - if you don't like their comments, perhaps - don't read them?

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I think there is a difference is suggesting the sniping should stop and actually doing the sniping and trying to bring down each post by that person.
 
But again it comes back to trying to force everyone to feel the same, some people forgive really quickly - others don't and that is their perogative don't you think?
 
Who is forcing anything?
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They're just opinions and if it makes a few people thing twice about bringing down posts with their sniping the forum will be a better place.
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IMO of course
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But again it comes back to trying to force everyone to feel the same, some people forgive really quickly - others don't and that is their perogative don't you think?

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Ditto
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I'm, on the whole, chilled out and laid back
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Actually I'm just a lazy mare who usually really can't be ar$ed, but there have been threads where I have got irrate, and posters that post balloney and are insulting get my goat (poor goat), though I have noticed that usually those who have posted something ill-advised have apologised and then everyone gets on famously
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*trots off to find sprinkles and popcorn as this one may run for a while. Oh, and must get another cauldron of hot choccy on the go*

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Ah love it MrsMozart - sane and lovely as always. Can I have marshmallows in my hot choccy? Only white ones tho?
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Certainly m'dear
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Chocolate sprinkles to go with?

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Me too please Mrs M - I'm happy to have the pink marshmallows!!
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Well said FDC

By all means disagree with someone, make your point if you think they need hauling up on something, even make it twice if you think you haven't been heard.

But what I really find uncomfortable is when the same thing is dredged up time and again on subsequent new posts that person makes

So often they give up and never return to the forum which is a shame. When all they have often done is make a thoughtless comment or maybe used a 'banned' forum word like 'IT' when talking about a horse.

(Although as probably the only HHOer to own a true hermaphrodite horse I reserve the right to do so
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But again it comes back to trying to force everyone to feel the same, some people forgive really quickly - others don't and that is their perogative don't you think?

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Noones forcing anything, you shouldn't have to forgive - that's not the point, but why post horrid personnal posts about them ALL the time! TeamTortillas or however you spell it, can be rude, but if you notice - that's the way they are. I'm not sticking up for her and but I'm not sticking up for the people who make personnal attacks either! She may need to rethink her wording, but some posters need to rethink what they're saying because it has turned nasty and vindictive!!And like someone has posted above - if you don't like what they have to say then don't read it - it works both ways!!

It's a forum for christs sake, not bloody Iraq!! I do understand personnal attacks happen (and the post she made first is the origin of why there were comments) but not every thread the person has posted!

Anyway! It's Friday!!
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Wow, it's about time someone had the balls to post this actually. The forum can be pretty bitchy and kitsune - it isn't about forcing someone to change their views but sometimes there is a better way to say things than with a snide or nasty remark. As in the post that I just read and I presume a few people are talking about there were a few comments that were pretty irrelevant to the post and more about getting in a blow at the OPer. IMO this isn't a bitchy or uncalled for post - no snide remarks or attacks on any one poster just someone who thinks that the forum can be unnecessarily harsh at times and as kitsune said everyone is entitled to their own opinion and this is obviously FDC's.

I'm sure a lot of people won't be best pleased with my post either - **sits and waits to be attacked**
 
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Well said FDC

By all means disagree with someone, make your point if you think they need hauling up on something, even make it twice if you think you haven't been heard.

But what I really find uncomfortable is when the same thing is dredged up time and again on subsequent new posts that person makes



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Have to agree with this. Spitefulness is a very ugly habit and it would make me not want to know that person in real life; it's also very childish and ignorant. By all means disagree but don't drag it up in every post afterwards too, it's boring and not nice.
Life is too short and precious to hold grudges and never let them go however they were caused IMHO.
 
I agree OP has a point in this case.

First time I read this person's contributions I tried to answer seriously (thinking she/he had been a bit carried away in hher/his phrasing) but then got all sorts of sillyness back and I thought the right reply was a piss take.

Then another post appeared that seemed sensible again, so I have a sensible reply, but was a bit surprised by the number of people who kept the sillyness going.

OP is right, this is a young person who made a mistake, was shown that she/he made a mistake and has, hopefully, changed her/his ways. Good on her/him!
 
What does annoy me a bit is when people accuse mature adults of picking on young people when there is a full range of ages on this forum and, unless we know them outside of forum, or they have previously disclosed it noone knows how old anyone is.

I do think some of the reply posts were a bit OTT (on both siedes) but everyone is different in how we react to things. If OP had apologised for her accusations that half the forum shouldn't school a horse it might have improved the situation
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if she did I missed it.

Anyhow I'm just here for the hot choccy MrsM, marshmallows, squirty cream and sprinkles please
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If people make 'silly mistakes/comments' (and more than once!), then it is up to that person to post an apology and everyone then moves on. It's happened before and will no doubt happen again.

If people make such 'silly mistakes/comments' and don't apologise, then a number of people will continue to respond in a less than friendly manner.

Edited to add: certainly E, coming right up
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