Please give me the strength...

Kadastorm

Kadastorm

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I have documented here previously that my project pony was diagnosed with bilateral hind PSD and navicular in front. That was June 2013(?) I rehabbed him and we have had the most amazing time, scoring high and coming 2nd in tough dressage competitions and also doing well jumping at low levels, doing XC, something I was told would never happen. But the last 6months he has been lame and off and insurance has run out. I said that if this was to happen again then that would be that and what do you know, after the highest highs and the lowest lows and the funds have run dry, I can no longer afford to go on and he is lame (has been for 2 months and rested on vets advice)....I am arranging to have Pumba put to sleep tomorrow and although I know it is right for him and me, I feel so guilty. Please can people give me the strength to do this. I know this is the right decision, he isn't a companion pony as he has attachment issues and is lame in the field and he isn't easy an easy ride even if sound. I have spent thousands of pounds and millions of minutes on a pony way too small for me (he is 13'2 and I am 5'9/10) but as he is sound in mind still grooming me while I am sobbing on the floor, nickering at me and interested in everything it is terribly hard, he is only 8yrs old and had so much potential but here we are... I am heartbroken :(
 
So so sorry to hear *hugs*
This really does sound like the right desicion, it doesn't make it any easier though does it xxx
 
So sorry to read this,
From what you have written it does sound the right decision- it is so difficult to make that decision and put them first you have already shown you are brace to have done that so tomorrow be brave for him while he is there but allow yourself to be sad when he has gone, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. X x
 
Totally the right decision. Even if you had funds it would be the right decision. Poor little sod but this is better than a lifetime of pain. Hugs to you cos even though you are doing the correct thing it won't be easy. Much love xxx
 
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So sorry for you....I'm in a similar position but I still have a few steps to go....our blessed animals can be so determined, hopping round in two or three or even just one sound leg, the natural optimists they are....its up to us to draw the line and be responsible...its so very hard, I'm so sorry xxxxxxx
 
Feeling guilty is perfectly normal even though you are doing the right thing. The regrets hurt a lot, but ultimately you are making the right decision. Remember him happy and alert and comfort yourself that you won't have to remember him unhappy and in pain.
 
(((Hugs and strength))) for tomorrow.

Personally, I think it sounds better to die, when, even though the pain, he is still "interested in everything", rather than waiting until the day when the pain have made him lose interest in everything.
 
FinnishLapphund said:
(((Hugs and strength))) for tomorrow.

Personally, I think it sounds better to die, when, even though the pain, he is still "interested in everything", rather than waiting until the day when the pain have made him lose interest in everything.
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This.

It always serves more comfort to release an animal to a humane death before they loose the will to carry on. OP is doing the best thing for Pumba, even though it is breaking her heart. That is true strength.
 
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Magnetic Sparrow said:
Feeling guilty is perfectly normal even though you are doing the right thing. The regrets hurt a lot, but ultimately you are making the right decision. Remember him happy and alert and comfort yourself that you won't have to remember him unhappy and in pain.
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This too.

Kadastorm, you are being the guardian that any animal should deserve. Do not doubt that.
 
You are doing the right thing. Good luck for tomorrow and I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through all of this. It is definitely better to let him go before the pain really startsto affect him and he can slip away gently knowing that you loved him. Stay strong.
 
God bless. You are doing such a responsible thing. It is a very difficult time for you and you definitely do need to take some time for yourself. Do not feel guilty, it takes such bravery to do this for him, rather than pass him on and his future would be uncertain. Huge hugs to you. x
 
Thinking of you today. Take strength from knowing that you are putting your horse first - such a hard thing in these situations. xx
 
Hope today goes as best as it can :-(

You are doing the best and kindest thing for him however awful it may seem.

Just cherish the memories x
 
It sounds like you have given him a chance and the care that he was lucky to get. Its actually braver to accept that things need to end, try and remember the good times after the deed is done and be kind to your self. Hugs.
 
So sorry. I lost my 9yr wb to psd despite surgery.
He was exactly the same am yes it broke my heart but like you I knew it was the only decision to make
 
Oh my god I thought I could read this but I'm in floods of tears.

Due to circumstances and arrangements Pumba was put to sleep this morning.

I feel guilty and broken even though I knew it was for the best. He had a long groom and I sat with him for a long time before it happened, feeding him treats and talking. I met the guy and said my goodbyes and left as I couldn't hold myself together.

This pony got me through the lowest of the lows and I couldn't bring myself to be there at the end. I chose the gun as he is or was phobic of needles and selfishly I couldn't stay but my friend was there.

This is the first time I have had to do this for my own and words can't express how I am feeling. But your words have helped immensely. Thank you to all of you, I am so grateful ️xx
 
You have nothing to feel guilty about. He would have been more distressed had you tried to stay with him and been upset. He wasn't alone and knew he was loved until the final second. You have done everything right and he's not suffering now. It's pants when the best thing for him is the worst thing for you. Be kind to yourself. Hugs.
 
Bless you. Just cherish the memories and the thought that you were still there loving him right to the end.

Bye bye Pumba run free with all the other horses :-( x
 
Oh I am so sorry, bless you and bless Pumba. You did the right thing, including not staying and upsetting him at the end. I was not with my sweet young horse (4) when he was PTS, it would have taken too long for me to get to him. You have to do what is right for him at the end, and you did. Run free, Pumba and hugs to you Kadastorm x x
 
If there is any comfort, I think that most of us who have euthanized a beloved animal, have had feelings of guilt, sadness, questioning our decision, feeling broken, lost, missing them, grief etc, etc.
It is difficult, but I hope that you can also think about your happy memories.

((((((Hugs))))))

R.I.P. Pumba
 
Kadastorm said:
Oh my god I thought I could read this but I'm in floods of tears.

Due to circumstances and arrangements Pumba was put to sleep this morning.

I feel guilty and broken even though I knew it was for the best. He had a long groom and I sat with him for a long time before it happened, feeding him treats and talking. I met the guy and said my goodbyes and left as I couldn't hold myself together.

This pony got me through the lowest of the lows and I couldn't bring myself to be there at the end. I chose the gun as he is or was phobic of needles and selfishly I couldn't stay but my friend was there.

This is the first time I have had to do this for my own and words can't express how I am feeling. But your words have helped immensely. Thank you to all of you, I am so grateful ️xx
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I wasn't with my retired eventer at the end. I knew I would distress him, so a calm friend brought him in, groomed, fed him and was with him while he went. It was very peaceful for him.

Sometimes being strong includes putting the emotional well being of another before your own, no matter how much it cuts you up inside. This is what you did for Pumba, you should be proud of that.
 
So sorry for your loss. Like others, I totally think you did the right thing for him. Much better not to be there for The Deed if you know you are going to be unable to hold it together and risk upsetting your boy, I made the same decision when my big boy had to be PTS.
Be kind to yourself, focus on remembering the precious happy times you had together, and try and take some comfort from the fact that you have done right by him when he needed you to protect him from unnecessary pain and suffering xxx
 
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