Please help me buy a horse, I'm clueless!

NannySarah said:
I'm glad you all find my situation so hilarious. Thanks.

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i don't find it funny at all, you are going to be taking responsibility for a pony you don't know how to handle and you are going to be responsible for the safety and well being of the children when they ride and handle this pony. how are your employers going to react when the pony bites or kicks one of the children, how are they going to react if a child falls off and seriously hurts him/herself?? You will be held responsible as the person who chose the pony and was supervising at the time, how is that going to make you feel?
like i said i used to be an au pair/mothers help and there is no way in hell i would take that kind of responsibility for someone's children and i'm perfectly comfortable around horses and ponies!
i would have a serious chat with your employer and ask them who they will hold responsible if child gets hospitalised because of pony, if they say you then i would walk away right then, no job is worth that.
 
NannySarah its a good idea that has been suggested for the children to join the Pony Club, every area has one. Even if the owners don't plan to transport the pony to lessons or competitions etc, there are usually stable management lessons and the children could attend these without the pony. Pony Club is usually a cheap way of getting lessons. You could also join the British Horse Society, I'm not sure if anyone suggested that yet. It doesn't cost much to be a basic member and you get access to their phone lines and volunteers so you can phone someone for advice if a situation crops up and you need help rather more quickly than from a forum.

If you hang around on this forum you'll learn lots, please don't be scared off because you've been called a troll. It's worth developing a thick skin for all the help and advice that's available.

When you've been here a while you'll see why people have been laughing at you. It's because we regularly get people posting on here purely to wind everyone up. And when you're having a rubbish day and need cheering up those threads can be great entertainment. :)
 
dominobrown said:
Nannysarah- Looking after a pony takes specialist training. You can't just wing it!
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i nearly wet myself when i read this.

where did everyone do their 'specialist' training?

i work with horses, have done for over 20yrs, and this situation is far from ideal but many people do 'wing it' and the ponies survive, the OP is trying to gain some knowledge and most posts are putting them down for doing so.

OP if you can go and watch the kids next lesson try to speak to their instructor about the families idea of getting a pony and you being responsible for it. as an instructor i would be happy to speak to the parents in a situation like this, the responsibility may then be passed to someone with more knowledge and experience, if not you may gain some help and advise.

good luck


'specialist training' :D:D:D:D
 
NannySarah, I read through this thread, and to be honest I am utterly appalled at your employer. Now I am an employer myself - have over 50 staff and have been self employed for 15 years. As an employer you have a duty of care to your employees - I dont think your employer really is thinking too clearly here. Now for a start, I dont work in the equine industry, so if I asked one of my employees to care for my horse, I would be asking well beyond my duty of care to them - its not much different for you. Even the couple of them who ride and have horses (my lovely PA is included), I would not even dream of asking to care for my horses, even though I suspect they would love a few hours at the yard instead of working.

As you say, the pony is coming regardless, so in your shoes I would be encouraging your employer to put said pony on full livery at a very good yard and employ a good instructor, plus enrol them in the Pony Club. Go and have a dam good chat with your Pony Club's District Commissioner (DC), but expect some pretty forthright advice, which will not be for the faint hearted, and which will have the welfare of both pony and children well in mind.

Failing that, for god sakes talk to ACAS about this. Its way beyond what you should be doing as an employee. What would happen if said pony kicked and injured you, and you could not work, or left you permamently disabled because your rather spoiled sounding rich employer wants a pony for their children. Get some employment advice, rather than horse advice.
 
I'll explain why we think its a wind up op. As you're a nanny, I assume you know about kids. If you read an op on a parenting forum, that said something along the lines of 'my employer has asked me to take my charges swimming. The eldest has her 5m badge, but I've never been in deeper than my bath before, & know nothing about swimming. My employer has told me its my responsibility to take them swimming in a 40' deep disused quarry behind the house, with no experienced back up. Please can I have some advice on how to swim'. Surely you'd assume anything so stupid had to be a joke? You see why we think your op is? Only difference is you are also in all likelihood going to cause suffering to a pony, as well as kids. And I think someone with zero knowledge choosing several hundred kg of muscle with hooves & teeth, then supervising equally inexperienced kids around it, with no back up, is just as dangerous & mad as my swimming scenario.
 
jools1234 said:
i nearly wet myself when i read this.

where did everyone do their 'specialist' training?

i work with horses, have done for over 20yrs, and this situation is far from ideal but many people do 'wing it' and the ponies survive, the OP is trying to gain some knowledge and most posts are putting them down for doing so.

OP if you can go and watch the kids next lesson try to speak to their instructor about the families idea of getting a pony and you being responsible for it. as an instructor i would be happy to speak to the parents in a situation like this, the responsibility may then be passed to someone with more knowledge and experience, if not you may gain some help and advise.

good luck


'specialist training' :D:D:D:D
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I love that caring for a horse is akin to performing open heart surgery lol

and yes I do think that this situation if true is hilarious... it made my day to read... sorry OP but your boss is an idiot!
 
Nanny Sarah

I am so sorry to read what your employers are doing. As some have already said it would be best for the children and the pony if for the time being the pony was kept at the yard where they are having lessons. Keeping the pony at home is going to be asking for problems. If your bosses are determined to keep the pony at home. The if you can get yourself on a course on stable management at the children's yard. Get the children into the pony club. The British Horse Society do some very good publications a link here http://www.bhs.org.uk/ Wishing you all the very best in what is a vey difficult possession.
 
NannySarah said:
I don't really know what the issue is, I'm asking for advice and willing to learn. I'm well aware that looking after an animal you don't know about isn't a good idea, that's why I'm here - for advice and guidance!
I did point out to my boss that I don't know anything about horses but my options are learn fast or loose my job!

I'm not an idiot, I'm just doing my job.

The girls already go to riding lessons so we now they like it.

If anyone has any ACTUAL advice I honestly would appreciate it a lot.
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Ask their riding school to find them one if money is no object and their safety and welfare of horse is prime. Good luck.
 
My sister nannied for a long time - some families were great and others were the opposite and expected ridiculous things such as washing the crockery in the river Thames for some religious festival. So I'm sure there are many people who are very unrealistic in what they demand from their employees, especially those who have more money than sense. It sounds like you have had lots of offers of advice and help but if you need any more am happy to help. If they are really going to carry through this plan then as others have suggested a knowledgeable sharer might be the best way if they don't want to do livery or pay for a groom. Good luck x
 
Queenbee said:
I love that caring for a horse is akin to performing open heart surgery lol

and yes I do think that this situation if true is hilarious... it made my day to read... sorry OP but your boss is an idiot!
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I was only using it as an example- but hey ho if you give a pony a field full of grass, know nothing about handling animals, even when to get the farrier to it etc, then I wouldn't let you anywhere near my horses. It does take specialist training, or at least someone who knows what to do. By speacilist training I mean maybe going to the riding school and the nanny getting lessons in horse care.
Most of the problems with badly cared for charity cases is people who think they can 'wing it'. :mad:
 
I haven't commented yet, but have followed with interest. NannySarah, I can completely see why many have assumed you were "trolling", I did at first. Yours is such a completely unimaginable situation that it's hard to believe.

There is great advice on here - and I really do think the only workable solution is to keep the pony on part or full livery so that you have help and support. It's a very steep learning curve .

I wish you the best of luck.

Keep us posted, there are a lot of knowledgeable people here, but you really will need proper help "on the ground".
 
Just to add my experience of various non horsey friends who if they didn't know me and my horses almost certainly would have given this task to their nannies/dog walkers/kids twelve year old AI at riding school.....

I don't think it is a completely crazy idea. Not a GOOD one particlarly but, not as mad as getting carried away at the house of a friend who breeds Section Ds then coming home with a pony for your daughter who cant ride but likes horses and anyway you won it during a card game......?

Wait! No one cold be that daft surely? Oh yes they can and THANK-YOU DAD! I still love horses and no one was injured or abused and we even still have horses thirty years later.

If grazing at home is possible and someone is willing to learn, keeping a suitable pony in a non horsey household is not rocket science and is perfectly do-able as long as owners know and accept it does cost.

Ie a suitable pony won't always be cheap but equally an aged quiet pony won't be expensive. Its all relative. Freelance grooms who could help out are not hugely expensive and could provide the support required. I know of several wealthy families who do this for their kids ponies. I used a freelance groom when I had my son and she helped several families in this position. One family sounds just like OPs though I know for a fact four years on they no longer have horses and their original one is on loan to a friend of mine.


In OP position I would simply go back to employer and ask for a budget then make sure the budget included paying for experienced support in one way or another. If they want their children to have a pony and understand it will be expensive to do correctly and safely without in house experience then I see no huge problem. It could go wrong of course but then bad things happen to people who are really experienced.....

I see and note the employers liability comments and indeed health and safety issues and JD concerns are relevant but there are lots of of mothers help/groom positions out there and if your employer has friends with horses whose helpers do this already they won't think anything is unusual about the request perhaps.
 
For those that have mentioned that the op may be able to bring a claim of unfair dismissal this may or may not be the case. There is a statutory time frame to unfair dismissal meaning that you have to be employed for 2 years before you can bring about a claim of unfair dismissal. Tis was previously one year, but has been altered to 2 years. So depending on OPs start date she may have to have been working for employer for 2 years before she can bring about a claim. As such apart from claiming breach of contract in a civil court the op may not be able to bring about a claim if unfair dismissal should she be dismissed. If the OP was in employment with current employer before 6 April 2012 then the period would be 1 year before she can bring a claim, after she would have to be working there for a full 2 years. Op would also have to bring a claim within 3 months of being dismissed.

Also what some people may not be aware of is that there is a plan to start charging for lodging a claim for unfair dismissal, this was planned to cost £250 to lodge a claim and £1000 if the matter proceeds to trial.

Another thing to consider is that you will not be able to use a 'no win no fee' service unless the solicitor believes that there is a significant chance of winning the case, and that your claim is of sufficient value, which would be unlikely in this instance, so unless OP fancies representing herself or paying the solicitors fee this wouldn't be desirable.


On another note OP, if this is a real situation, which I feel it probably is, ive seen sillier things, and as someone said truth is stranger than fiction, I suggest that you spry to surround yourself with experienced people who can help. Your farrier, instructors etc.

The kids will still need lessons, you can get a good freelance instructor to come to the children and pony. They will be invaluable to helping you with said new arrival.

Also try to convince the parents to put you through some bhs owner courses, which will be able to teach you the basics. If you can hang around when children go for riding lessons this will be good as experience is essential.

Make sure you take an experiences horsey person to go and view ponies, they will know what to look for etc. your employers will have to pay for this but, however it is a much better idea than getting an unsuitable pony.

Get the pony vetted. My friend recently acquired her friends old pony. He was sold to an apparent 'lovely family' as a project as he was too much for other friend to handle. Pony was drugged and sold on to a novice teenager, an angel when she tried him, as soon as she got him back to her yard and rode him he proceeded to gallop around the arena over 20 times before they could get him to stop. Luckily they contacted old owner through passport details and he is now home. They didn't get him vetted due to the lady objecting and making excuses. Any excuses for no vetting should be an immediate warning sign. Walk away.

There's more, but I can't think right now. I feel sorry for your situation OP, if I were you I would be looking for alternative employment although I appreciate this is easier said than done.
 
Nannysarah, im more shocked you've actually agreed to all this. Find and then to look after a pony's welfare when you have not the slightest idea where to start on top of your other duties looking after the children.

is it part of your job description? Does this not worry you? Are you happy about it?
Perhaps you are being given a large bonus to take this huge extra burden on your hours on?

i certainly hope so because believe me, you'll be earning it.

Also, PLEASE remember this : if you're just rolling over and doing what you're told, if anything goes wrong with the pony under your care, the parents will blame YOU. if children get hurt, once again parents will blame YOU. if pony gets sick, escapes, kicks someone - its down to you.

Hope all this is going to be worth it.

Im sorry but im slightly exasperated, why people cant stand up to their employers who are taking advantage of them, especially when put in situations with such potential for injury and blame as this, i fail to understand.

really, after all you've read here, cant you just say NO?
 
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Nanny Sarah - You seem to be genuinely clueless as to why people are horrified by your bosses demands to get a pony.

Unless you're going to enlist the help of a professional to help you buy said pony and then keep it on a reputable livery yard where there is experienced help available to care for it then please don't agree to get involved. Buying horses is not an easy process, even experienced horse people get it wrong so no offence, but you wouldn't know what to look for or what might be suitable as you have no experience. If you also have sole charge of it with no back up or help then things will likely go very wrong. Ponies especially can be very cheeky, stubborn and intimidating to novice handlers who are under confident and have no experience and they will quickly take advantage - but you will learn all of this soon enough.....
 
Nannysarah, best of luck! You sound like one of those amazing nannies who aren't scared of anything!

Tell your boss you will need to buy two ponies so they have company, and they will need an experienced freelance groom to look after them.

Alternatively they buy one pony and keep it on livery at the riding school. Either way it is certainly not fair of them to expect you to take care of the pony and keep the children safe around it when you have no experience: they would not expect you to drive them in the car if you had not yet taken any driving lessons!
 
Ok Mary trollins, firstly you need two ponies. Secondly, enough land. And for whoever thinks it will be fine as long as they get a freelance groom & instructor into help, are you mad, gullible, or have zero experience of how easy it is to con a first time buyer? If it must be done, full livery & someone else buying it is the only way. Although I really think this has to be a troll.
 
littlelegs said:
Ok Mary trollins, firstly you need two ponies. Secondly, enough land. And for whoever thinks it will be fine as long as they get a freelance groom & instructor into help, are you mad, gullible, or have zero experience of how easy it is to con a first time buyer? If it must be done, full livery & someone else buying it is the only way. Although I really think this has to be a troll.
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Shush...you'll wake the babies up with all that shouting about Ts.

Rock a bye baby on the tree top ...la la a. Shush. .
 
Even if this is a troll the scenario is really not that odd. The employers have a duty to this nanny to provide her with adequate training though and if she's not comfortable with taking on this duty I doubt they'd have grounds to sack her if she were to refuse.

We do need to know how old the kids are.
 
I didn't say it would be fine with two ponies and a freelance groom. I don't suppose it will be. But if the family will not countenance livery it was the best I could think of. They are royally taking the rise out of a very resourceful nanny. Not impressed at all with this employer :(
 
NannySarah said:
Basically, this pony is arriving no matter what, I have no say in that. I thought the best thing for me to do (and the only thing in my control) was learn as much as possible about horses before it arrives.
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Sarah you should do the one other thing within your control. Leave.

You are an experienced nanny and will have no problem whatsoever getting another position somewhere else. Good nannies are worth their weight in gold and if your work ethic encompasses looking after a pony as well as three children, you will be snapped up tomorrow.

Resign.
 
Sorry nosenseofdirection, I wasn't aiming that at you, my first two comments about two ponies & land were intended like yours, just incase its not actually a troll. I forget who it was now but another poster was saying it wasn't a bad idea, just get a freelance groom.
Horserider, Pmsl. I'll do op two for £15k with tack by tomorrow.
Off to look on dd now & gather some old bits of tack together.
 
Dominobrown... I wasn't having a go... It just made me laugh :) I envisaged us horsey people as seriously intelligent people donning scrubs to go into an OR... OMG it would be like chainsaw massacre... 'Suture please...'... 'Sorry mate, fresh out of sutures but bailing twine will do' 'don't need an anaesthetist... Just twitch it!' Or 'don't cut it off... Put crest toothpaste on it!!' 'Sorry but your nil by mouth and since you're a fat piggy and can't be trusted to leave the pies alone... Lean forward while I muzzle you' we would tie them to the bed so they couldn't run away and oh the mud and hair in the OR... We would be ace, and I'm sure save the NHS a bag load of cash ;)
 
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