Please help me, to sell or not....

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Cherrydan

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I have a wonderful horse, I adore him, but here is the issue or issues. I have a toddler and a ten year old and I never seem to have the time for my horse. I have had him for years, I trust him and I know there will never be another like him.
I feel guilty, sure he has company, seems happy enough, isn't really an affectionate character, but he is my little grumplestiltskin and I am wondering if it is selfish of me to keep him.
I rent where he stays, and its secure enough, but I also worry about what if I were asked to leave and had to pay livery, I would handle it, but honestly I'd struggle, he is insured, so I don't worry in that respect.
I honestly am in a bind, I am so torn about this..could anyone shed some light please.
Do I ride it out and bumble along with guilt, or do I let my lad go to a better home, where he is regularly played with....what is the right thing to do.
I have buyers for him, but the countdown is on and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
 
What about a sharer? Then he'd get more attention but you get to keep him? I started in horses by sharing with a friend and it was an honour and a privilege and taught me so much.
 
Normally I would say if you don't know weather to sell a horse or not it means that mentally you sold him already...

BUT

In this case it seems the horse has done nothing wrong, it is more about how good a home you give him? It does not even seem to be about feeling guilty about not spending time/money on your kids, but is purely about not spending time with the horse.

If that is the only concern, and your horse has a good turnout (not a postage stamp, with shelter, water, and is safe), and company (more than one other), then I think he is happy without you.

I wonder if someone is telling you that you are "wasting" him, as you yourself seem to think he is happy?

For you I would not bumble along with any guilt at all, but would be happy that you can keep your horse in his piece of paradise. Or, if you want to sell then I would do that, and sell him to a good home, and not feel guilty. Or keep him and not feel guilty.

What would make you happier?
 
I just wondered, is your 10 year old interested in riding? Would he be suitable for him/her one day?
 
Split this out. Top of the list, 1. financial. Can you afford this. 2. Time. Is this going t change in the future? Or will you have a retired horse by the time you are a little more free 3. How would you really feel if your horse went... Distraught or secretly relieved 4. What if you took on a sharer, helpful or not? 5. What if you sold and the took on share yourself?
 
Thanks for your replies, well, he has company in his best mate,and he has a good life really. Its my own guilt, that's right, everyone says I'm barmy.
Would I be relieved?;well, in a way, because I feel like he would get more time and work with someone else, would I look at his fields and think I've lost someone special?...definitely.
It is super hard to say goodbye to a good friend, and to be honest, I'm so much in turmoil about it.
I just wish that he could talk English, and he could tell me what to do! Lol.
A loaner, I know this sounds silly, but this always makes me nervous and slightly jealous.
Your replies are good though, and I will mull it all over and over again. Thanks again.xxx
 
Keep him and take the pressure off yourself. I have a toddler and constantly pressure myself like this and it spoils it for me. Horses don't want to work, well most don't. They are infinitely happy with being healthy and just taken out once in a while. Times might change and you might suddenly wish you had your friend to share it with. As long as he's being kept slim and healthy and his mind is occupied with a friend, I wouldn't sell him, I'd keep him.
Life is never harder than with a toddler and that time passes so quickly, doesn't it? Before you know it you will have snatches of time to spend with your horse again x
 
Cherrydan said:
I have a wonderful horse, I adore him, but here is the issue or issues. I have a toddler and a ten year old and I never seem to have the time for my horse. I have had him for years, I trust him and I know there will never be another like him.
I feel guilty, sure he has company, seems happy enough, isn't really an affectionate character, but he is my little grumplestiltskin and I am wondering if it is selfish of me to keep him.
I rent where he stays, and its secure enough, but I also worry about what if I were asked to leave and had to pay livery, I would handle it, but honestly I'd struggle, he is insured, so I don't worry in that respect.
I honestly am in a bind, I am so torn about this..could anyone shed some light please.
Do I ride it out and bumble along with guilt, or do I let my lad go to a better home, where he is regularly played with....what is the right thing to do.
I have buyers for him, but the countdown is on and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
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I read the first bit and thought "keep him" horses like that are worth their weight in gold. If you get asked to leave your rented field and can't afford livery you could sell at that point. No point in selling over a hypothetical thing that might never happen.
 
I wouldn't sell in your position. Children grow quickly and won't need you so much in years to come and then you might regret parting with your lovely horse.

It doesn't seem like you need to make a decision now so, as long as your horse isn't being neglected (and it really doesn't like he is!) then I'd leave things as they are for now.
 
I can speak fluent horse, so I will tell you what he is saying.

I have regular turnout so I am happy.

I have a friend in my field, that makes me happy.

I have food in my tummy, that makes me happy.

Sometimes I go for a lovely hack with my kind rider - ditto happy.

Changing homes for a horse is very stressful. He would lose his friend, he might go to a home that worked him hard, or might sell him on again, and again. Then he would not be happy.

He has no ambition to be a top show jumper (what a tough life that must be!) or to be ridden and schooled every day. Right now I would say he is probably one of the happiest horses on the planet just being a horse.

Does that help? :)
 
Cherrydan said:
I have a wonderful horse, I adore him,.................I have buyers for him, but the countdown is on and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
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Were you seriously considering, or even thinking about, selling him before these buyers came along? Are they putting pressure on you to sell? Your post reads rather as though they are.

I can't see any reason for you to sell. Horses do NOT stand in a field of enough grass, water and shelter with their companions wishing that they could take a rider out for a hack or to a competition of any kind. Some do show every sign of enjoying going out but equally they are quite happy doing what they have evolved to do - eat!

You have nothing at all to feel guilty about. I wonder if this 'guilt' has filled the void left by all the worry and effort you had to put into finding a suitable school place for your son.
Enjoy your horse when you have time to ride and when you don't have time, enjoy thinking about him chilling with his friend (and tell the buyers to stuff it!)

ETA, sorry if I've got it wrong about your buyers.
 
Ladies, you are right. What am I thinking about? Of course, he has no ambition, he has the life of Riley and he deserves it, for being such a good lad to me.
I love that ducktoller speaks horse, Lol, it nearly made me cry in a good way.
I have been getting pressure pearlsasinger, in continous texts.I think you are right about the school situation, like im finding something to worry about...
So, tonight, I'm gonna go give him a hug and rest easy. I put far too much pressure on myself, I really shouldn't.
I could kiss each and every one of you, you have made me at peace within myself and the world.
Big thank you.
Now to contact the buyers, I feel a bit bad for them, but what can I do? He deserves my loyalty, as he has given me throughout the years.
Again, thank you ladies.xxx
 
It's clearly not the right thing to do, selling him. I can tell you would regret it no end.

Sounds like he's pretty happy in his bit of paradise, my girl would give her back legs to live where she gets to graze, be with friends and have minimal human interruption to those activities!

edit: Saw you posted as I was typing, good on you! Those buyers will find other horses, and you sound so happy to be keeping him, no doubt you've made the right decision! :)
 
If i were you, years after i'd sold him i would be full of regret. As long as your horses health is good then you should hold on (to what seems) your dream horse. Hope it all goes well :)
 
I am made up to be honest. Just contacted the buyers, one kept pushing, but I stood firm.
My heart is full to bursting, I feel like the weight of it all has been lifted. I couldn't have done this without you, I'd have been packing his stuff with a heavy heart and you're right, on my death bed, I'd still regret it.xxx
 
keep him, he sounds a gem, and horses like him are as rare as hens teeth. That's why people are pressuring you. Ignore them.
 
Absolutely agree with the others - he is a gem and it's so hard to get a good horse like that; that you can ride whenever. And of course that's why you were pressured to sell him. I hope it wasn't a so called friend who was trying to manipulate you out of your horse. Well done for seeing the light!
 
Cherrydan said:
Ladies, you are right. What am I thinking about? Of course, he has no ambition, he has the life of Riley and he deserves it, for being such a good lad to me.
I love that ducktoller speaks horse, Lol, it nearly made me cry in a good way.
I have been getting pressure pearlsasinger, in continous texts.I think you are right about the school situation, like im finding something to worry about...
So, tonight, I'm gonna go give him a hug and rest easy. I put far too much pressure on myself, I really shouldn't.
I could kiss each and every one of you, you have made me at peace within myself and the world.
Big thank you.
Now to contact the buyers, I feel a bit bad for them, but what can I do? He deserves my loyalty, as he has given me throughout the years.
Again, thank you ladies.xxx
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Good call������ love Ducktolles post too��
 
The right choice, I feel sure. Will you 'regret' keeping him? I doubt it. Will you regret selling him? Most probably.

If he gives you the reason to go and to stand and stare, then he's filling his current role, I'd say!

Alec.
 
I'm so pleased to hear that!

Must admit I'd be interested to hear how the subject of possibly selling him came up in the first place.

Enjoy your future together.
 
Think the potential buyer is a bit bad to be pressurising you. I feel the same, mine is totally 'wasted' grazing in a field having the life of Riley, but the thought of selling him is horrendous.
 
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