Please help me with new horse - becoming scared of him

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TI26

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Hi,

Just got a new horse after part loaning for a few years. My old loan horses were perfectly well behaved for grooming, standing, riding etc. New horse hasn't done much wrong, just many little things that are making me more and more nervous of him! Can someone give me any tips? He rubs his head very hard against me and knocked me over today. He won't stand still for his bridle and when walking in hand he starts trotting towards grass, nearly pulling me over. Also, wont stand still at all in the school, doesn't help there is grass around the outside (got first lesson next week on him). I know none of these are a big deal, just looking for advice as I am worrying myself! :o

There are people around on the yard who help out but they are not always there and he still does these things when they are.

Thanks for reading. :)
 
Each little deal adds up,he's looking for leadership and if you aren't it he will take the job over himself:)
 
You are going to have to make him understand that you are the boss and teach him some manners very quickly, kindly but firmly so that he learns to respect you - he is just trying it on in his new environment and you need to nip it in the bud swiftly. Perhaps ask a confident and firm friend to help out and make you feel more secure whilst you do things too until he knows he has to do what you say? Either lead him out in a dually or controller head collar or initially alway lead him in his bridle with reins over head of course so that he cannot take control and pull you about. Its always hard when you first get them home and they are quick to try it on but he must understand its not acceptable to push you about and he must respect your space and your commands. Good luck with him and I hope you soon have him cured and can start to enjoy him, it doesn't take long once he realises you mean business!
 
Your new horse is unsettled and doesnt know his place yet. He will calm down as he gets used to his new home. i agree with jinglejoys that he needs you to be his leader.. and this is exactly the situation i was in with my horse. I messed up quite a lot by trying to do much to soon. I was really scared of him. All he knew was that i was scared and i think he took this to mean that he should be scared too. My advice would be stay within your comfort zone. For a while if all you feel confident with is bringing him in to feed and fuss then stick with that. As you get to know him and the trust starts to build you can move forward with other issues. There are people on here who could buy any horse and make it do anything. People like us cant do that and we have to take our time to build up a bond. I hope i have been some use to you. Ive been there and the end result is a horse i can take any where!!
 
luckyoldme said:
Your new horse is unsettled and doesnt know his place yet. He will calm down as he gets used to his new home. i agree with jinglejoys that he needs you to be his leader.. and this is exactly the situation i was in with my horse. I messed up quite a lot by trying to do much to soon. I was really scared of him. All he knew was that i was scared and i think he took this to mean that he should be scared too. My advice would be stay within your comfort zone. For a while if all you feel confident with is bringing him in to feed and fuss then stick with that. As you get to know him and the trust starts to build you can move forward with other issues. There are people on here who could buy any horse and make it do anything. People like us cant do that and we have to take our time to build up a bond. I hope i have been some use to you. Ive been there and the end result is a horse i can take any where!!
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Well said, what a humble and helpful thread - encouraging for us mere mortals who struggle to get it right!!!
 
luckyoldme said:
Your new horse is unsettled and doesnt know his place yet. He will calm down as he gets used to his new home. i agree with jinglejoys that he needs you to be his leader.. and this is exactly the situation i was in with my horse. I messed up quite a lot by trying to do much to soon. I was really scared of him. All he knew was that i was scared and i think he took this to mean that he should be scared too. My advice would be stay within your comfort zone. For a while if all you feel confident with is bringing him in to feed and fuss then stick with that. As you get to know him and the trust starts to build you can move forward with other issues. There are people on here who could buy any horse and make it do anything. People like us cant do that and we have to take our time to build up a bond. I hope i have been some use to you. Ive been there and the end result is a horse i can take any where!!
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Yes thank you luckyoldme and pebbles everyone else, it is helpful knowing it's not just me! :) I think I will just groom him until my riding lesson next week which should make me a bit more confident riding him too!
 
amandap said:
I'd like to suggest getting some professional help to give you support and instruction in ways to train him what you expect and how to prevent behaviour you don't want.
I suggest contacting your nearest on this list purely because I have used one of these and had a great service and learned loads.
http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/content/view/47/116/
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there is none even in the same county as me! :p It's OK though I have help with YO etc.
 
This is a really useful thread for me! My new boy arrived late Thursday and yesterday proceeded to drag me into the field - my (very) old boy is so easy to handle I was in shock, and rather scared. Luckily my YO took charge when we moved both of them into another field - she wrapped the lead rein around his nose, made him back up and left him in no doubt whatsoever that she was in charge! This morning I brought him in with knocking knees but a strong voice and he was as good as gold.

I have, however, ordered a dually halter :)
 
Its time - time is all you need, time to get to know your horse and be able to feel more assertive with him, a new horse will test you i have found, they are looking for boundaries to see how far they can get away with things because they feel unsure, all horses need to have a leader and its best its you, time will also help him to settle and get used to a new home, it takes upto a year approx i have found for a new horse or pony to be himself and for you too and be happy and really confident with you, sometimes you think all is good but then after a year you really see the best and realise they were just settling. I agree with the person who suggested just bring him in each day everyday, be firm and just groom again be firm, dont let him push you about use your voice a lot so he knows how you are feeling too, and your confidence will grow and the rest will come, but if you push yourself too far or too fast and your confidence is knocked with him he will know that - so time and softly softly is the name of the game for you both, remember how unsettled and unsure he must be feeling too, good luck to you, you can do it :D
 
I agree with others, he is trying to sort out the pecking order, you are right to be concerned as these little things will grow into bigger things, unless you nip it in the bud now. You need to show him that you are the leader and what he is doing is unacceptable. Horses need leaders and if we do not provide them with one, they then become the leader as someone has to do it! You can do this by being firm but fair with him and making it clear that you ARE in charge, no need to beat him up, just fool him into thinking you are bigger than him. When he rubs his head against you, push him away with a firm NO, you may have to repeat this a couple of times each time a little firmer than the previous, do not let him invade your space unless you have invited him in.

When leading the same applies but you also dictate the pace, when he jogs, make him stand for a couple of seconds and then continue, repeat this as often as possible until he gets the picture. If he wont stand still when mounted, MAKE him move off forwards, if you have to trot at speed around the arena then so be it, do NOT let him stop until you ask him to, if he ignores your aids, push him on again until he eventually gets it, he will then start to think it was your idea all along! I realise that this sounds easier than it actually is, because you need to have bottle to do it, but believe me it works almost every time! All of this will cement your position as leader and you will have a happy horse at the end of it.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you and your ned.
 
Stop letting him get away with it.

If he pulls you to get to grass stop him, firmly, say 'NO/WHOA' or 'HALT'. maybe get a little bit mean the first time, have you got a whip, use this in front of his chest to stop him from going to the grass, circle him, and then repeat until you arent using anything but your hand and voice.

When you are riding and he gets to the place he jogs halt him just before, then start him off at walk, and make sure its on your terms and not his. transitions really help with getting him to listen to you.
 
As others have said, it's being new and a pecking order situation, and checking who is the leader. Horses choose their leader every day, which just makes us have to stay on our toes a bit more :cool::rolleyes::D

Don't let the horse make you move your feet, not even an iota. If he tries to, make him move his, even if just a step back. No need to be harsh, etc., but be quiet and firm and consistant!

Don't let him rub on you. You might decide to let him have a little rub, but then you decide that's it's enough and he can now get out of your space, thank you very much :D

When he's fed, make sure he steps back from you. One of mine will still tazz round like a loon, but she does not come near me or the bucket until I've put it down and stepped back.

When walking to and from the field, make the horse walk by your side, not moving ahead of you. Stop every now and then and the horse should stop with you. If he doesn't then wiggle him around until he is where he should be and then tell him to take a step back. At first you might have to do this a few times. Do not get frustrated or lose your patience.

Also, when walking to and from the field, change direction. Don't pull the horse round on the lead rope, let it loose-ish so that he's following you rather than being simply pulled. When you've got it right, if you're on his left and you turn to the right, the horse should turn to the right and keep going right until you change direction - all that time he should keep out of your way, if you bump into him, keep going, he's got to get out of your way.

If he goes one way, you go the other. Don't follow him (unless there is a safety reason, etc.), but he turns left, so you turn right. You have to be boss.

When grooming or generally in the stable with him, if you want to get from point A in the stable to point B, go straight. If he's in the way, he has to move. If he doesn't, get up to him and push. Tell him 'Over' or 'Back' or my favourite 'Shift Your Blinking Bum!', but keep it low, don't shout or get angry. He's got to learn that you mean business, but if you lose your temper he'll go into fear/flight mode and either cower in a corner or kick you into oblivion.

You'll have to keep this up every day. It does get easier and it does become second nature. You may even still have days where you think it's all gone to pot. Don't stress, just keep low key and reiterate all that you have done, all the little steps and walking, etc., and he'll go back to being nice to handle.

We use a pressure halter with two of ours as they can be a bit silly in the normal headcollars, although we do now alternate and can lead them most of the time with nothing, but that's taken a lot of work and bonding time. You have to be gentle with the pressure halter. If you put too much pressure on, the horse will resist and might go up or backwards. It's one of those cases where less is more.

I'm not an instructor, I'm just telling you what we have learnt and what works for us :D
 
I lost my last horse in 2008, she was on loan to me but was perfect to do everything with. Roll on to 2010 and I miss having a horse dreadfully. My best friend calls me one afternoon to say I've found us a horse to share, he came from a riding school and is a 16.3hh shire x cob. My friend has found him too big in hindsight to handle and has therefore really given him to me.

He is not a nasty horse but when we first got him was very bolshy, pulling you around, biting and generally being awkward! A combination we feel of being allowed to get away with things, being in a enviroment that didn't really suit him and also being a worrier that he shows by becoming bolshy to try and stop you asking him.

We've owned him since september and he is like a changed horse. He is alot happier and settled, he understands his boundaries and what is/isn't acceptable behaviour to us!! This has been a combination of:

1) decide what is acceptable behaviour to you and stick with it. You've got to be consistent and quick to say no but also quick to praise. For example, if he pushes you (which B also did) put your elbow out so he hits into it, don't elbow him but do it so he connects with you, if you understand me? You should find that it becomes less of a fun game!! Also make sure he understands your personal space, back him away if he gets too close, no stress - just ask him to move back, then go quiet so he knows he's done well, repeat as nec. Again you must be consistent as to where your personal space is.

2) he must believe you're in charge, if he thinks your the leader he'll relax. As someone said to me with B if he thinks he's got to be in charge, he'll be a nightmare!

3) lead in a bridle, or a pressure halter

4) get some lessons

hope that helps xx
 
I would certainly maybe look at getting a control headcollar of some sorts and in the meantime wrap the leadrope around his nose to give you some more control. I have a horse I have had 16 years and he still likes to think he can get away with b*ggering off on the end of a headcollar. He does not scare me (never has) but he is a little swine and very intelligent which doesn't help! Lol

Every horse has its quirks you will get to know them but what you need to do in these early days is assert your authority a little bit. He just sounds like he's a bit bolshy and pushing his boundaries to see what he can get awya with to be honest. If he's shoving you with his head then he is asserting his authority over you so, when you are handling him ask him to step back, out of your space. Make him move away when you ask him to. If he shoves you then I would push him backwards and be firm with your voice and handling.

He will settle once he gets to know you and his surroundings. You'll probably find he just has a bit of a cheeky personality once you get to know him and he quite possibly was just allowed to walk all over his previous owner and get away with murder so he's going to try the same with you! I am sure in a few weeks time you will have forgotten about being scared - it's more dealing with the unknown i think as opposed to scared.
 
My youngster used to do some of those things... she started getting very boldshy at one point and i got quite scared too!

With the bridle thing... I used to get dragged along when i took her head collar off to put the bridle on. Thing is, don't cut corners! Reins over head, headcollar off and then straight round her neck so she has something holding her still, then get the bridle on, then headcollar over the top. I just keep doing this and everytime she tried to walk away the head collar would hold her back. Eventually, she would stand still anyway as she assumed she couldn't wallk away.

With the rubbing head thing... I hate it - it sends me flying and I end up covered in horse sweat usually What I do (as my mare does it as well) is give them a sharp tap on the nose (not hard just to make them jump back) and hey presto they quickly come to realise that they will get a slap on the nose if they try to use you as a rubbing post. NEVER let them do it.

can't really give specific help with the trotting off - i have a headcollar which can be pulled tight when you pull on the leadrope so the horse realised that they need to keep the rope slack. Just make sure you never let them eat grass when you are leading them - altough its hard at first once they know that they don't eat with a headcollar on, they wont try.

Similar with the standing thing... My mare is very fidgety. So when i ask to stand still, and she stands i let the reins go. Then, if she moves off of her own accord i stop her again. Till she realises the 'path of least resistence' is standing still. She's a bit weird now as in she stands stock still when i ask her stand (i mean literally freezes) but hey its better than not being able to stand!

Firm but fair, firm but fair!
 
I would just add to the above post - keep your headcollar on if you have trouble puttng the bridle on. Mine can still be a pig when having his bridle put on. I keep his headcollar on as it buckles up over the nose and across the headpiece so I can put the bridle on and then take the headcollar off underneath! He doens't appreciate it as much cos he can't take the p*ss but it makes my life easier! Lol
 
As a nervous nelly myself even after years of horses I have found getting some help early to be the answer. There is no shame in admitting a problem. I have found a very experienced person who will step in if I call for help and come and do some groundwork to make me feel confident again. She has just got my confidence up enough to lunge my daughters big youngster who had intimidated me so I was nervous when leading him. My daughter has had an op so I am "in charge" at the moment and the help has been invaluable. One session and I was back in charge leading, another and I was prepared to lunge.

The farrier came the other week and previously I would have worried the day before about how I would cope - this time just brought him in as if he was our old girlie without a care in the world. I am also happy to put him in his place without getting upset or angry. It doesn't sound much, but it was a big deal to me. Find a professional you trust and take small steps. You'll get there.:)
 
binkymerlin said:
gona have to be more compitent with him...
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Excellent advice there, yeah.............................

OP, others have said what I have said. My sister has been in exactly the same boat, and it's all about you taking your time, and doing what you are able to do.

Good luck, it will all come good in the end. My sister had her first jump today on her horse in her lesson, and she has had the horse less than two months. Her first horse wasn't suited to her, and one she viewed put her in A and E so her confidence took hell of a nosedive.

Keep us updated!

:D
 
Thank you everyone!!! To many people to individually reply to but you have all really helped me. I think he was allowed to get away with biting his old owners as he did every time I viewed him and they just laughed! I am going to write all this stuff down so I can refer to it when needed. :p Really just want to get down to the yard now to start on this!
 
Let us know how you get on, like someone else has said you are still getting to know each other and what was acceptable to his last owners, he has now got to learn isn't acceptable to you.

Be firm, consistent but quick to praise and you'll both get there xxxx
 
I also had a visit from the farrier today. Murphy was great, expect when he backed up a bit and Buttons the Shetland took the opportunity to reach over his stable door and sniff Murphy's bum, causing him to start, jump forward, and me (again) to drop the rope.

Note to self: ALWAYS wear gloves....
 
Can I ask one more thing, how do I stop him biting? He does it sometimes for no reason, when we are standing with him etc.

Also have only ridden him once since we got him (a week ago) Do you think it is too soon to have a lesson tomorrow on him? Getting a bit nervous about it and nearly cancelled but on the other hand I was thinking it might be a good opportunity to properly go on him as I can't chicken out!
 
Have your lesson!

Occassionally I have a lesson where I lunge for the 1st half (bit of ground work, dicussion about how he's moving which usually leads to a dicussion about what we should be working on ridden) and then ride the second half. Maybe your instructer could do something similar, especially if your still a bit nervous handling on the ground?

Just remember that just because you've paid for say a 45 minute lesson there's nothing wrong with stopping after 35 minutes if you've achieved what you wanted to, at least while you're a new partnership.

Good luck and enjoy
 
Definately have your lesson, it has helped me gain a huge amount more confidence with B. The other thing I've found has helped a huge amount is to ride every single day, even if it's just for 10mins, I found the longer I was leaving it before rides the more nervous I became.

Re the biting, we solved ours by saying no, don't bite and tapping him firmly on the nose. He will still revert back if he's worried or wound up but it's improved hugely. Also alot of B's was related to doing the girth up (think in riding school, tacking up was all a bit rushed) so we have slowed it right down and that's helped hugely too xx
 
I was always used to horses which were very easy to handle until belle and I was a bit afraid at first. I asked my instructor to come to groom and tack her up with me, just once, and she showed me exactly when belle was taking the micky and when she was nervous. Just this one session gave me the help I needed to persevere with patience and confidence and now we have no probs on the handling front really. I would suggest a session with an instructor and then you can set about getting your horse to respect you. :) don't worry, it is doable, and I was clueless and really worried at first.
 
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