Please Help! My New Horse Makes me NERVOUS!

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nicnoo0193

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I got my first horse 5 days ago, when i went to look at him he was turned out and the kindes sweetest thing. When he came he was put in the stable next to my friends mare. He was later turned out with her and the have become best buddies!

The problem that i have is that if i bring him into the stable without her he paces around the box looking for her and makes it difficult to do anything with him, he will not connect with me as he is frantically looking and shouting for her. This makes me nervous as this is my first horse and i have only experienced horses at my local riding stable.

I am not sure if he is just unsettled and needs more time. I dont want to ride him in this state and not sure what to do.
I feel totally out of my depth and my friend has the attitude that i should be left to get on with it and i have no support that i was promised.

I have waited for this for sooooo long and I feel like i have made a mistake! Is this normal to feel like this?
 
Give him time to settle, and is it possible you can bring your friends mare in to start with? Or maybe separate them totally?

Make sure he is tied up when you are doing stuff with him, perhaps give him a haynet to keep him occupied?

I expect other people will have better suggestions, but stick with it, sounds like a bit of separation anxiety, which you will get through
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I don't really have any ideas to help you and I don't know about everyone else (god, this is sounding unhelpful!) but for the first week and my first ride of my original horse I always felt 'God, this is the wrong horse for me, we shouldn't of got her!' It took a while but she eventually relaxed and enjoyed my company and we had loads of AMAZING times together.

With my new pony (sadly original beast was put down) I feel nervous riding every now and again...but I know we'll get there!

Just be patient and maybe spend time in the field with your horse as well, where he'll be more relaxed as he has his buddy. Don't panic, It'll all work out!
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it sounds like he's just a bit unsettled to me. He's gone from everything being familiar to one friend in the world.

Can you get them in together and then spend time with him in the stable, being his friend, finding his tickly spots, learning about the lumps and bumps and things so that you start to know what's his 'normal'. This helps him get to know you, and helps you make it easier to spot if somethings ever wrong.

I would try taking him out for a hack. it will help him start to get to know you, and become your friend.

Don't worry, the more anxious you are the more anxious he'll get.
 
Youve had your horse for 5 days! That is no time at all. Different feeding, management, surroundings, people, horses, etc all have to be got used to by the horse. Some settle more quickly than others but it can take months, not days!

He has latched on to the mare for security, thats perfectly normal behaviour.

Get into a routine asap and find a good instructor to help you, several times a week at first if needed.
 
I had this problem 3 months ago with a new horse. Yes he will settle eventually!! He needs time to get used to his new environment and routine so you have to be strong and continue with your routine. When you bring him in do you put a haynet in his stable? My lad actually stressed so much he weaved to start with, but if I tied him up with a haynet that seemed to break the pattern.
If you're worried about riding him can you lunge him instead so that he starts to realise he has to do some work - with you wearing a hat and gloves just in case!

Chin up, he will settle and you'll feel better about it all
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Completely agree. I'm afraid you on a steep learning curve with your new horse! As others have posted, he needs time to settle and that could be sometime. Don't despair, get him in a routine, lots of groundwork, grooming, spending time in the stable with him just faffing about generally. He needs to see you as his new playmate and gain confidence from you. I promise you, stick with it, be patient, don't expect too much too soon and in time you will wonder why you got so stressed! Best wishes.
 
I've always been told that for a horse to fully settle could take up to a year so 5 days is nothing. He has latched onto the first thing he can to trust and make him feel safe which is perfectly normal. Everything is quite scary for him at the moment. Speak to your friend and explain that you'd love their support at the moment as you are a bit bewildered- there is a lot to take in all of a sudden! Is it possible to leave him out for a few days? Then he won't get fizzy from not being ridden. Could you also ride out with your friend? Get to know him in the field, take a brush with you so you know every inch of him, talk to him loads so he knows that your voice means security. Try and find an instructor soon as that will set you on the right track together and improve your confidence. I think everyone with a new horse wants to send them back at least once in the first month!
 
Completely normal behaviour, don't worry at all. He'll settle and get used to the new routine. Mine was exactly like this - it took about 3 weeks.
Always tie him up in the stable before you do anything with him, after he's had a few minutes settling time, very important you define the rules of body proximity before you do anything - talk with him and tell him "steady", when he acts like a monkey on a stick.

You'll see a different lad in 3 weeks, I'm sure. The fact he's latched on to another is a good thing (remember, horses are herd animals and also prey animals so scared and unsure, looking to others for support initially) - it shows he's giving trust and is bonding nicely. Early days. When tied, put a haynet next to him and groom him firmly while talking to him
It can take up to a year to connect totally, look forward to it - and don't give him any treats in the stable initially or he'll start mugging you.
Before you leave give him his feed, not immediately when you bring him in or he'll start getting narky, expecting his grub.
Write up a little timetabled routine and stick to it, for stabling - eg., 7 mins for settling with you on other side of stable door, tie up, rug off while tied, grooming, stable rug, food at the end, but hay adlib while tied up
This is an exciting time for you and everyone on H&H will be here to help you with advice, I'm sure.
 
I had similar problems when I moved yards, try putting him on a calmer, blue chip worked for me, for a couple of weeks to help him settle, if you can't bring your friends mare in when you bring yours in then could you perhaps put him out with another horse that you could bring in with him?

good luck and remeber you're not alone, loads of people go through the same problems with a new horse
 
I agree, he has latched on to this mare as he's feeling insecure in his new environment. It can be an absolute nightmare as I've experienced this with two different geldings. I could barely tack them up!

To be honest, your friend could be more supportive, & let you bring in her mare too or hack out with you. I doubt he will be keen to go on his own yet.

As he settles he will get better. Both mine did, but it took a while.
 
Mine was exactly the same when I got him, he got attached to the old mare I had previously had on loan sadly she had to be pts about a month after I got him but he then got really attached to the other 2 geldings I couldn't even get him out of the field with a bucket of feed !!

5 months later after various episodes which I won't go in to he is much better and definitly getting there. I think it takes them a while to completly trust you!

Funny thing is mine literally moved across the road to me !!!
 
Separate him from the mare as this will speed up the settling down process. Can he either go out alone but next to some other horses, or with a different buddy that's not stabled next to him? If they're stabled next to each other and go out together you can't really blame them from getting attached!He'll get there, just give him time. Make him your best friend with lots of treats and attention. If he's still like this 2 months in, then you may need to ask for some more help, but seriously 5 days is nothing, don't worry. He'll probabaly be fine to ride as he'll be concentrating on something else. If you're worried is there a more experienced rider that can sit on him first and show you he's ok?
 
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Separate him from the mare as this will speed up the settling down process. Can he either go out alone but next to some other horses, or with a different buddy that's not stabled next to him? If they're stabled next to each other and go out together you can't really blame them from getting attached!He'll get there, just give him time. Make him your best friend with lots of treats and attention. If he's still like this 2 months in, then you may need to ask for some more help, but seriously 5 days is nothing, don't worry. He'll probabaly be fine to ride as he'll be concentrating on something else. If you're worried is there a more experienced rider that can sit on him first and show you he's ok?

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I too would separate them as in the next stable too could make things MUCH worse he may well get more and more attached to her. Also would put him on a calmer to help him settle
 
You've just got to remember that when horses do something 'wrong' it's usually because they're confused- he'll be confused at the moment because his environment, handler etc. have all changed.

Horses learn by trial and error, so if he doesn't understand what you want right away then just keep asking confidently and calmly and reward him when he does the right thing. Make sure to repeat this again- it's supposed to take them 3-5 correct attempts at something for them to retain it in their long-term memory. So do a bit of groundwork with him in an environment that you feel comfortable in and just practice very basic things like 'stop' and 'go'. That will help him to understand what you want from him, and build up your partnership, and you'll feel more confident when he's obedient.

Just try to stay confident, calm and consistent and he'll work it all out!
If you feel really uncomfortable then ask a friend or an instructor to help. Finding a good instructor is important anyway.

Good luck, and I'm sure that you'll be fine!
 
He just needs time to settle. I'm in the same situation myself. I've had my new horse for 8 weeks. She's slowly settling down but she makes me a little nervous too. I'm just unsure of how she will react to certain things - it's a steep learning curve.

My friend also promised to support and help me - don't think I've seen her since my mare arrived! Stick to your routine, spend time doing some groundwork and it will get easier. Good luck.
 
Hi there,

Do try not to worry as it can take at least 6mths for a horse to settle in to a new environment. Imagine how you would feel being taken from everyone you ever knew and given one friend in a whole new life - you would become very attached too!

Take it slowly and separate them for a few mins each day and try and make the separation a nice time i.e. dinner time or what ever he seems to like. Gradually increase this time until he builds confidence in you and you start to bond.

Don't focus on riding yet as all that will happen is stress and worry from both parties!

If it makes you feel better I clocked up a £600 vets bill within 4hrs of owning my first ever horse! Now I can assure you I went to bed that night with the most sickening feeling of 'what have I done' ever! That was 15yrs ago and I still have horses!
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Good luck and have fun!!!
 
DO NOT separate your horse from his new friend. This will stress him even more. Get him into your routine, if you can fit this in with your friend's routine, so that the horses come in and go out together that will help. You can work on separating them later, especially if there are other horses out in the field with them. When your horse knows you better, he will begin to trust you and then will be more wiling to leave his friend. Imagine being picked up and moved to a strange country, where only one person speaks your language, the food tastes different, the water tastes different, you are expected to sleep in a small room, when you were used to a large space and all with NO EXPLANATION, of course you would cling to the one person who you can speak to. This is how your horse feels but he will get used to the new surroundings and become much more confident. He will begin to understand what you mean and will settle. As others have said 5 days is a very short time. Let us know how you get on.
 
I moved my pony from a field where she was out with 12 others to a field where she is out with just my other pony. That was 3 months ago and I wouldnt say she has settled 100%, she is a stressy pony, at least I have the benefit of knowing her.
Try to relax and dont worry, lots of good advice has been given
 
He's in a new place with a new owner and probably a different routine so, like you he's feeling a little nervous. It's not uncommon so don't worry too much. Plus, horses are herd animals so they wouldn't choose to be on their own in the wild. Most horses will accept being alone once they feel settled and secure but your boy doesn't yet. Give yourself time to get to know each other. 5 days is no time at all

If your friend won't help, ask someone else that you know and trust who is sympathetic but firm. Otherwise, find yourself a good instructor who comes recommended and they'll be able to help you with him on the ground and ridden.
 
Ditto others - he just need to settle. My horse as exactly the same when I move him yard - he spend 3weeks being a right Pain In the Ass and glued himself to my other pony. Once he'd made other friends and relaxed he was back to his normal (mostly) chilled self.

And extra ditto Pearlsasinger - don't remove him from his friend. He's behaving like that because he's stressed and worried and the only thing in the word right now that he understands and trusts is his new friend. Removing that friend is just cruel!

Contiune with your routine and ask for only the basic manners - that he doesn't push you about.
 
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