please help new horse troubles

Ladybird L said:
Sorry, I’m just a little confused, reading through the replies again, half of the people seem to be saying I should ride her, and half saying I should leave her more time. Which would be better? (Of course I’d love to ride, but what’s best for her is most important!)
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If you ask a question on here, you will get a hundred different opinions and it may be that none of them are right.

The old owner has offered to help, let them help, they know the horse best, and they also know you and your set up.
 
Ladybird L said:
WTF is going on?? What should I do? I phoned the seller and they are coming after the weekend, so in the meantime?
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What's going on, you have a cob LOL, I used to have one. Mine was very clingy with other horses and it took him a while to get settled with me. As well as barging he jumped over or through fences and initially at least was a big problem to leave his friend or if his friend left him. A controller headcollar was better than a bridle as the bit doesn't do much if they go sideways away from you. Previous owner used to lay a trail of carrots and nuts to direct him into the stable which didn't help.
They are not always the laid back, novice friendly, happy plods that people think. They are intelligent and sensitive. One of the problems with mine was he escalated rapidly. If he didn't like something he was off.

I would be on the side of doing more with her not less as long as you are safe, but keep to a routine so she knows what is coming. Can you bring her in with her friend to handle and groom her, see if this helps. Some trainers don't get cobs so if you have a good relationship with the previous owner and they are happy to help then I think this is the best option.
Kaylum said:
Sounds like my lad he wouldn't settle. The lady rode him at our yard every week. He was bombproof but when he went to hers it blew his mind. He was dangerous. She had him for a month and then just couldn't cope. I took him back and as soon as his hooves touched the yard back to safe reliable boy.

If I had sold him to someone I didn't know they would say I missold him.
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Had to fetch mine back after 3 days, he was on trial not sold anyway. I did give the people a lot of useful advice as I'd had him about 10 years but they ignored me and listened to folks on the yard and it was an accident waiting to happen.
 
nutjob said:
Had to fetch mine back after 3 days, he was on trial not sold anyway. I did give the people a lot of useful advice as I'd had him about 10 years but they ignored me and listened to folks on the yard and it was an accident waiting to happen.
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Which is why the OP would be better listening to the old owner and not random people on here :)
 
Whatever you decide is best to do after some help from previous owner just please make sure you are keeping yourself (and horse) as safe as possible. Don't put yourself at unnecessary risk. Hopefully previous owner can help you with what is best for this particular cob and in no time you'll be having fun together. Good luck, don't lose heart.
 
We have our first cob at the moment and I can empathise! We have made it through the barge and run stage and now have enough trust she doesn’t wish to leave us. Now we have the plant…’I want to go that way!’ phase. I live in hope this might be the last strangely cob specific behaviour, but we’ll see!

For you, help from previous owner sounds like a plan!
 
Ladybird L said:
Sorry, I’m just a little confused, reading through the replies again, half of the people seem to be saying I should ride her, and half saying I should leave her more time. Which would be better? (Of course I’d love to ride, but what’s best for her is most important!)
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just leave her be with riding until the old owner turns up and let them come up with a plan.

In the meantime work on the basis she doesn't know you, doesn't trust you and has no idea how to deal with you so she takes it upon herself to behave badly.
Do little things that please her to start to build a relationship. Scratching, stroking her. Lead her (if you can do it safely) and let her eat off grass banks or whatever you can find. If you have an enclosed area try a bit of in hand work, standing, backing, turning. Lots of praise so she knows how good she has been at a movement (even if she is rubbish)
If someone can lead her field companion then lead them both out for a short walk. She has lost her old home where she was settled and when you ride her on her own she has also lost her new field companion as well so she basically has nothing left she knows..


Think out everything you are going to do to set her up for success. For example if you suspect she will take off when you catch and try and lead her then don't do it. If a bucket of feed works use that.

I bought a riding horse very locally. Just over a mile away as t he crow flies. He was great at his old home, I led him home it was so close. Then his problems started. He was far more disorientated than if he had travelled 100 miles in a lorry and then arrived.
For a long time I worried if I lost him out riding or leading that he would belt off home and it wouldn't be my home:D:D:D
 
I do blink a bit at people saying ‘she’s a cob, this is how they behave’ . I’ve known tbs who are bargey idiots and cobs who are complete dopes. They are just horses, and horses like humans all react differently to change. And mares in the spring will find herd changes worse as they are all hormonal. Be they cobs, Arabs or zebras.
 
Thank you everyone.
The plan is, pretty much just do stuff she enjoys at liberty until the old owner comes (early next week), (and obviously see how things go/are going, to tailor our plans and lessons) and I’m going to get him to teach us there after.

I’ll let you all know how we get on!
 
put her in a bridle to lead anywhere, cut her food down, the grass is rich, too rich

lunge her every day use [poles and a few small jumps and before riding

when picking up a foot grab it firmly and hang on, dont lift it too high do it daily

walk her around in a bridle after lungeing and keep on persisting

i find cobs are great when worked, and bolshy grumpy little shits when bored and with excess energy, they are work horses who would in other times have worked eight hours a day!

they are strong and will drag you if allowed to the nearest piece of grass and eat themselves into oblivion

when worked they are `little angels ` ha ha

let us know how you get on
 
rabatsa said:
Your new mare does not know you or yet trust you. There should be trust with the old owner. For now everything is strange to her.

I would not attempt join up as you risk making her more nervous in your presence, as it sounds like you may be a novice at doing it.
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This! It’s very early days, go easy and don’t rush it. Sometimes it takes months for them to settle (mares especially as her seasons might be impacting her behaviour as well as the change).

I wouldn’t worry give her time to settle in, people are too quick to expect new horses to perform perfectly but they are not machines. It’s all new to her, you, the yard, the routine, the environment, other horses…I honestly think the best thing you can do for a new horse is to give them time to settle before attempting to get on board.

Was she on any hormonal supplements like ooestress? It works wonders for lots of mares on our yard, might be worth trying this for a while and see if it helps. It’s great the owners are coming to see you, I’d just not ride till they’ve been and let them see what they think x
 
It sounds to me like she’s latched on to her new little friend in the field and wants to run back to him/her when you try to take her out of the field. Can you bring the little one in with her for now? Just while she’s settling in and getting to know you.

Do you have stables/arena?

If it were me, I would bring both in together, give her a little bit of chaff or something tasty, so she likes being with you, and then groom her, maybe take her for a little walk around the arena. Ride her if you feel confident enough.
And then pop them back out together.
Once she knows you and likes/trusts you, she’ll probably be happy to leave her pal.
And fab that the previous owner is an instructor and happy to help - that’s very lucky!
All sound completely normal and I think you’ll be fine!!
 
Hi yes I do have stables but no arena.
The horses can hardly even see each other on separate stables though. There’s no way I could put both in one??
Also, I have to cross the road to get from the field to the stables. I’m a bit worried about her getting away from me on the road, and… yeah… that could be bad…

So things have been going a little better with her. Over the last two days, I’ve spent a lot of time grooming/petting/scratching her, I found her favourite brush and favourite spots to be brushed, I haven’t ventured back to the feet yet though as I want our interactions to be positive atm.
So she has warmed up a bit, she comes over to the fence to see what I’ve got, and a bit of her old nature is peeking through - I was poo picking the field and when I first brought in the wheelbarrow she was a little snorty, then she gave it a playful shove with her nose and experimented with how else to knock it over. Similar reaction to the grooming kit box. - and I have also done 4 5 minute leading sessions. The last one went pretty well. We are just leading around a small, bare paddock. We walk a few steps, pause, little turns, and I treat her with grass very frequently, and if she plants, I ask her to back up, then reward her for that, so turning it into something positive. She only planted once last session.
 
I feel your pain! I bought a cob in February after losing my horse of a lifetime last year. He was so unsettled at first I was convinced I’d made a huge mistake. He demonstrated massive separation anxiety, shouting his head off and breaking out in a sweat when out of sight of the others for even a minute to be brought in or turned out… we are only a small yard of 5 horses so everyone else had to change their routines round so he was never alone which I felt awful about! Then he developed an anxiety being brought through gates and was charging back through them when being turned to close them, ripping the rope out of our hands. I’d bought him to hack alone predominately and there was no way I could do that as he was a nervous wreck and making me nervous too. However, 4 months on, he has really come a long way, now hacking happily alone on short circular routes which we are gradually lengthening. Comes in alone and stands alone nicely on the yard for the farrier or to be groomed and tacked up for a ride… no shouting now or drama. The gate issue has disappeared too. I think the key is just being really consistent and keeping to a routine no matter what he throws at us. He now seems to understand that he leaves his friends for a while but will be returned to them in due course and he’s fine with that. He’s super friendly now and seems to enjoy his grooming time in the yard with a human. I do believe the early behaviour was due to being completely bewildered by the move and we don’t know much about his past as he was bought through a dealer.

I would definitely ask the old owner what their routine was with your mare and maybe try to replicate that as much as you can to give her some familiarity as she settles into her new environment. Riding wise, I hacked mine mostly in company with a very reliable companion until he began to show signs of being more settled and I think getting to see his new surroundings that way with a friend has also helped him settle so maybe you could go out with a friend just for a short ride to start out? Best of luck with her.
 
Glad your boy is doing well now!

I wish I knew someone nearby with horses. I know there are horses but I don’t know whether they’re ridden or not or who owns them even. I should try break the ice 😬😔
 
Ladybird L said:
Glad your boy is doing well now!

I wish I knew someone nearby with horses. I know there are horses but I don’t know whether they’re ridden or not or who owns them even. I should try break the ice 😬😔
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We’re not quite there yet but he really has made massive progress when I look back to day 1!!

Do you have a local Facebook group… could you post asking if someone with a nice bombproof hacker would maybe come out to you and go for a ride together? Offer tea and biscuits? I’ve seen that sort of post on my local group and they seem to get responses.
 
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