PLEASE HELP!

[Brambridge04]

After having a nasty accident and not being able to ride, i recently have started riding again.

She is bored to death and very sluggish and has a cannot be bothered attitude in the school (understandle, its all she's done for the last few weeks)

However last 2 or 3 times i have been riding, i have tried taking her out onto our "hacking tracks" at this point i become incredibly nervous, feel sick, want to get off, and normally cry. She constantly snatches at reins to eat the grass (despite having 2 meals a day and hay....) and generally i feel stirrups are to long, to short, and just wobbly and unsafe.

I do not know what to do, i have put so much work into breaking her and bringing her on and now my confidence is shot to pieces, and seems to be getting worse.

I know i just need to get on and do it, i know i will be ok, but when it comes to it, i bottle it and cant do it.

 

[Waffles]

Can you hack out with a reliable quiet horse/owner? I'm sure that would help - I've found that if you're with someone who is constantly chatting etc. it's really soothing for both me and the horse in new/scary situations.

 

[Spring Feather]

Do you have a friend who has a horse that will accept another horse being led off it? With any nervous riders this is what I do. My main riding horse will lead anything and often just the simple act of having a competent rider being attached to your horse with a leather lead is enough for the nervous rider to gain some confidence.

 

[Brambridge04]

We've gone out, with my partner walking, but i find im just as bad or worse.

I know if i can just do it once, i will be fine, but i just cant seem to get past this mental block.

She is in a plain cavesson, with a full cheek snaffle, and i struggle to get her head back up once its pulled down (my hand is weaker from the accident) i was wondering i a stronger bit / grackle etc may help..... as i find as soon as i get stressed, i panic, the it kicks in....

 

[Waffles]

I was reading something recently in an old Your Horse magazine (or similar) and there was a big article about exactly what you are asking about. It said not to give yourself too big a goal. Just get on the horse and get straight back off. Next day, get on and be led just a few steps, then get off, next day, perhaps the length of the yard and so on just building things up really gradually.

Unfortunately though, as we all know, there will always be dangers out hacking - spooks and so on - and although we mustn't be so terrified of anything happening that we won't ride, we need to be prepared for all eventualities.

 

[Clodagh]

Put grass reins on her, you can bodge something with baler twine. I know that won't help the nerves but it will keep her head up. Have you got someone to hack with? If not could you move her somewhere for a week or so where you would have someone? A long shot I know.

 

[Spring Feather]

We've gone out, with my partner walking, but i find im just as bad or worse.

No it's not the same when you have a handler on the ground. You need someone above or at the same height as the horses head so that they have the power to keep your horses head up. Another rider leading your horse from theirs is the way to go if you can at all find someone to do this.

 

[MotherOfChickens]

if you can afford it try TFT with Jo Cooper, she's a genius and very good with confidence issues.

 

[Brambridge04]

Stronger bit not going to help then?? Lol.

i like the being led idea..... x

 

[Spring Feather]

A stronger bit isn't the answer, it's the continual forward motion you want. Either stronger legs or a person above the horse so that the horse is not able to stop to steal at the grass. A stronger bit will never be as strong as the will of a horse!

 

[ChwaraeTeg]

I was reading something recently in an old Your Horse magazine (or similar) and there was a big article about exactly what you are asking about. It said not to give yourself too big a goal. Just get on the horse and get straight back off. Next day, get on and be led just a few steps, then get off, next day, perhaps the length of the yard and so on just building things up really gradually.

Unfortunately though, as we all know, there will always be dangers out hacking - spooks and so on - and although we mustn't be so terrified of anything happening that we won't ride, we need to be prepared for all eventualities.

All your replies are very good. I have been where you are Bambridge ( a very long time ago)
and if I can get through confidence issues, anyone can and you definitely will.
The gradual build up as Waffles said, was the best one for me.
Wishing you every success
Teg

 

[Brambridge04]

All your replies are very good. I have been where you are Bambridge ( a very long time ago)
and if I can get through confidence issues, anyone can and you definitely will.
The gradual build up as Waffles said, was the best one for me.
Wishing you every success
Teg

How did you do it?

I just feel she is buggering around as she KNOWS i will get stressed and upset and worry and get off and want to go home...

 

[Carefreegirl]

Try doing a little bit each day, day in day out until your bored for want of a better word and then you will naturally without thinking about it go a little bit further. For example if there's a short hack you can do before you get to the point in your rides where you get nervous, do that over again for as long as it takes. I'm nervous jumping my horse over any sj course about 2" 9 so if I'm jumping at home I'll jump 2" 6 until I'm fed up and then go higher. Depending on which brave pants I'm wearing it make take 4 or 5 fences or it may take 3 days. Don't beat yourself up over it as you've had a nasty accident and you've nothing to prove to anyone x

 

[ChwaraeTeg]

Sorry, I just typed out yards of reply and got timed out because I am too slow.
I have not ignored you Bambridge. sorry

 

[ChwaraeTeg]

CarefreeGirl said it, plus my family helped until I was mentally able to ....
can't think of word ....
as well as physically strengthened

thinking BIG
thinking BRAVE
being CONSISTENT

will convey to your horse that you are an able confident boss
and he should behave accordingly

 

[DipseyDeb]

You have my sympathies....following a nasty accident in March resulting being airlifted to hospital, I completely lost my confidence, first time in 34 years of riding. But thank you to a fantastic YO and friend, we are taking baby steps to get to where we were prior to our oops! As my friend tells me, never but too much pressure on yourself, don't set any goals, just every now and then step out of your comfort zone just slightly to push yourself that tiny bit. We have just started hacking round the off road tracks round the yard. She rides out with us and to start with it was a 10 minute potter, we've gone out a few times now, taking a slighlty different route each time, and going out for a little bit longer each time. I haven't got the stage where I can hack out on my own yet, but I'm sure it'll come. Keep going and don't get too disheartened, I honestly never thought I'd get the confidence to get back in the saddle again, but I did, and for now that's the possitive that I'm focusing on!!!

 

[Brambridge04]

Thanks all. I spoke to my instructor and it was her who had said a gag may give me a little more control x

 

[tristar]

any horse not moving on foward is out of control, you need movement to have control.

being led is good, like with a youngster, the leader can stop the head going down, and you leading the horse out in hand with your partner might work, you could use a lead rope under the chin like a stallion chain, or over the nose, i use both these with horses who are difficult to control.

she sounds like she might benefit from gentle lunging and prep to get her and you back into work mode and increase her fitness to respond to work demand, and improve her attitude.

she has 23 hours a day to mess around, for one hour a day she must pay attention to you, be strict, go at it like you mean business, make it fun and interesting, have a clear goal of what you want to achieve that day, think it out before hand and go for it.

confidence should return as a reward for effort, little steps lead to bigger ones, find out what works, however small, and build on that, day by day week by week, no need to panic just do what you can for now, then move on when you are ready, do what you do well and be content with that, when the time is right do more.

 

[Mogg]

sorry to hear of your accident and resulting confidence wobbles. Have you tried taking some Rescue Remedy (i find pastilles better than the drops) or taking a Kalms tablet? Even if it's the placebo effect you may find it just takes the edge off the worst of your nerves, then you can take things very slowly as suggested by other posters. Wishing you the very best, im sure you'll get there

 

[Pale Rider]

What has happened, by the sound of it, is a change in the relationship between you and your horse who has sussed that your confidence has taken a knock.

Obviously one or other of you has to be the leader and in your current state, she has decided that she is better off making the decisions for you both.

Your lack of control over her is not the result of her 'taking the micky' horses don't do that, its an anthropomophic interpretation of horse behaviour. She is just pleasing herself as she has no strong leadership.

I see no benefit of you trying to gain control by mechanical means and using stronger bits or straps to cause pain to your horse. Your lack of strength is not the issue here, no one is as strong as a horse, and even the most severe controlling mechanisms sometimes provoke an explosive and violent reaction from the most bidable of horses, (Youtube is full of them).

I feel that you need to re establish your relationship with your horse, and would recommend lots of groundwork and transitions for a few days in the school before you attempt to ride her. When she is comfortably taking instruction from you on the ground this will help build your confidence as well.

 

[crabbymare]

I had a friend who was literally shaking at the thought of hacking out after a nasty accident. I spent a fair bit of time with her and although it took a while she got over it. Rescue remedy did work well with her so it may be worth trying it. Firstly I gave her some lessons in the school, not so much to improve her riding but more to get her doing as I said when I said it.
Then I rode her horse out hacking while she rode her bike so she was seeing her own horse out and behaving nicely, then I took mine out and had her on a lead rein so she felt that I had control and all she had to do was sit there. She had a neckstrap so she had something to hold onto from the start. First ride out was after a lesson and I made sure that both she and the horse had worked reasonably hard then instead of saying we were going for a hack we went out for 10 mins to walk hers off after the lesson and loosen mine up before he worked so that took the hacking word out of things and because it was "just" 10 mins she was not worrying about having to be out for a long time. After that we built things up slowley until she was ok at a walk off the leadrein and then instead of her having to trot I got her to practice transitions while we were out so while I carried on at walk she did a transition to trot and 4 or 5 strides back to walk meaning that she was always in control and because she was ahead of me she was not worried about the 2 horses going anywhere or racing each other. Eventually the trot steps increased and she was happy to trot normally and we did the same for canter.
She is never going to be a lets go out for a whizz around type ride but as long as her companions are sensible she is happy to go out in groups as well as alone.
It does take time and you need someone you can trust to push you but who also understands that you cannot be rushed. It was very hard for me to understand how she felt and I made sure when she was riding out I did not mention her being nervous but kept a good conversation going about things that had improved in the lesson and what she wanted to work on next so she did not have to think about being afraid and had to think about other positive things.Also the first time I said to turn around before she had expected to so she automatically relaxed more on the way back knowing that she was not far from home.
Not sure if any of that will help you but hopefully you can get some ideas from it that you can use. In your case I would certainly get some sort of grass rein put on so the horse does not get to eat the grass though.

 

[Cuffey]

Agree with Clodagh--grass reins, until your strength rebuilds, pulling the reins out of your hands will become a habit.

It may help if a confident rider does some work including hacking out--then you get on.

A long time ago--I helped with naughty ponies which were taking liabilities with small jockeys.
They were long reined and lunged, then rider 1 got on and schooled, then rider 2 got on and schooled then other ponies were tacked up, rider 3 got on and 3 went out together.
Any naughtiness the pony was turned in circles and then ridden forward.
The 3 took turns to be leading file on the hack
Probably 3 hours steady work in total.
No whips, although one rider always had a hunting crop, no threats just making it easier to do what was wanted and difficult if pony misbehaved.
After a week ponies owner came, if pony behaved it went home with rider getting a list of things to do. If pony did not behave the above was repeated for a second week (rarely needed!)

 

[AndiK]

I had the same problem as you. I moved livery yards ( for other reasons) but I moved to one of my friends who I am more worried about saving face than being nervous. Safe to say that it has MADE me get on with it. In 6 months I have gone from a nervous wreck to a semi nervous wreck and I am even hacking alone now!

Have some lessons and if possible ride with your instructor. You are right in what you said you have to 'get on and get on with it'

Good luck and when you start feeling nervous start singing or whistling - you look like a proper nutter but it works xxx

 

[Bikerchickone]

I wouldn't use a stronger bit, but I agree with the ride and lead option, if you have the right friend with a nice calm horse who is willing to help you, then try the baby steps and keep on going. I've been there too, and to some extent still am in that I am very fussy who I hack out with and I won't canter in a group anymore. Not because my horse is naughty but because my confidence isn't up to it and it unsettles him. Keep doing little things until you get bored and you'll find your horse relaxes too. Lots of good advice on here, I'm sure you'll be happily hacking out soon enough.

As a little aside a hypnotist once told me that you can't be hypnotised out of feeling fear about riding because it is a very reasonable fear, what you can do is learn to manage that fear, and once you accept that it becomes easier, promise.

Wishing you lots of luck and positive thinking. xx

 

[Brambridge04]

Thank u all so much x

 

[Brambridge04]

Going to b brave n ride tomorro. just a little walk out... x

 

[Waffles]

Good luck! I'll be thinking of you.

 

[asmp]

Agree with everything else that has been said, especially the grass reins. When I lost confidence on my horse when I first bought him, I found using one of the little straps that you can buy that fit across the front of the saddle attaching to the D rings made me feel a bit more secure as i could grab it if I felt a bit wobbly (better than hanging onto the mouth and you don't have to lean forward as with a neckstrap). Just take everything at your own pace and please remember that it's supposed to be FUN! Good luck - you'll get there.

 

[Waffles]

I've read lots about neck straps... for me, if anything untoward happens, a handful of mane is infinitely preferable (it's easier to feel the horse's movement I reckon - not that I know anything but I do know how to stay on more or less!)

 

[Brambridge04]

I DID IT!

KIND OF.....

I had a little walk and trot and did quarter of the hack, i made a decision to do a quarter of it, so i didnt over face myself or get to nervy, but it was relaxing and i enjoyed it, im going to do the same tomorrow, i did say i'd only walk, but i was brave enough to decide on a trot myself! and im pleased. Still a long way to go as i still felt tense and my legs ached, but its a start.