Well done you!
I am in total awe. I am the same (total nervous wreck after my horse vertically reared with me twice on a hack). He is a 17.1hh ex racer.
I am getting lots of support from instructor/experienced (and young without children) friend.
I hope I can overcome my fear and start to enjoy my horse again.
I have to say that everyone who has replied to your thread has been tremendously supportive. There are some really lovely people on here who genuinely want to help.
Good luck with it all and sending warm wishes your way.