Pleeeease tell me what you'd do in this situation...

[hannah9000]

I'm sat here, a blubbering mess because my poor head is going round in circles.
Basically I got Tommy, an ex-racer, a month ago - to reschool and event for a couple years before becoming a happy hacker for my mum. He's 14 and absolutely perfect.
Now, OH and I have had a referral through for IVF which has been a long time coming. So I know next year is going to be consumed by the stresses of IVF and I fear I'm going to have no time to school Tommy let alone take him out competing. And by the time the year is up i'll (hopefully) be pregnant and then by the time I can get back into reschooling/competing, Tommy will be 16 or more and I feel it won't be fair to ask him to start competing at that age.
He's a novice ride, good doer, just generally perfect, and I know someone at the yard who he'd suit down to the ground. But am I being selfish wanting to focus on the family aspect of my life? Should I try and juggle both the IVF and Tommy?
I am definitely going to pop due to brain overdrive...

 

[Kellys Heroes]

Would it not be possible to ask said person at the yard to take him on or part loan him for however long to keep him ticking over? Then once you are ready, you can start with him again and he's there for you should you have a bit of odd time to compete?
It's not at ALL selfish, don't be silly!! A family needs concentrating on Don't try and overwork yourself it won't do you any good you need the most stress free few months you can get!!

 

[fatpony]

Keep the horse - I dont know much about IVF but what I have heard is that its very stressful and heartbreaking at times and a good horse who can give you another interest, something else to get up for in the morning and and extra shoulder to cry on might just be priceless. Good luck

 

[spacefaer]

Is there any urgency to make a decision? It could take some time with the IVF and in the meantime, Tommy is there for some relaxation and stress relief

I know the doctors would also like you to be reasonably fit, so Tommy could help you with that too.

As you get less time, could you loan him to the person on the yard? Or share him with them? Then you would still have access to him but without feeling tied by the responsibility.....

I would prioritise the IVF - you don't get the chance very often and it is obviously time limited (!)

Tommy - or someone similar - will always be there - in the background if necessary - keep breathing and take your time making any decision - it's going to be the proverbial rollercoaster over the next couple of years - best of luck with it all!!

 

[michelleice]

you might find the horse keeps you sane while your going through the IVF why no get girl to part loan him?

 

[Piedpiper]

I agree with sf. IVF is hard, having something to take your mind off things is a godsend, and may also help stop you worrying about things you can't control (of which there are lots when you're going through it).
Good luck and I hope it all works out for you x

 

[Kellys Heroes]

Agreed with everyone on that too - if he is part-loaned he will still be there as a stress relief and for cuddles when you need them (nobody cuddles as well as a horse!) but the full responsibility isn't yours anymore - just takes some pressure off.
And if the person in mind is a good steady reliable person, then if on "your day" with Tommy, you can't make it or something's come up, you will have the peace of mind that someone will be there for him.

 

[hannah9000]

I totally agree with having something to take my mind off it all, but I worry i'll push Tommy to the bottom of my priority list and he won't get the time he deserves. He's on permanent loan to me, so I can hand him back to the raceyard if I need to as he is their pride and joy. I feel like i've let him down, and I feel like i'd be letting the yard down. I'll still be able to go down the yard and hack out with others, I just wouldn't have the responsibility of my own, nor would I feel guilty when I prioritise a hospital appt over poo picking or something!

 

[mahorse]

Keep the pony.

There is a lot of time between now and next year, when it appears things may get stressful.

Tommy won't know (or mind) what he's missing, he may just be grateful for hacking out a bit now and then, as long as he's got enough to eat and some mates to be with he'll be fine, and also be there when you want cuddles and to escape the stress.

Don't act in haste, enjoy your summer with him ;o)

 

[Kellys Heroes]

Our first pony was on permanent loan to a friend and then part loan to us - could you not ask the yard if they would consider you part loaning him to this other person?
And how are you letting him down when you're thinking of his best interests? Stop beating yourself up.