Pls tell me Im doing the right thing! (sorry long)

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sarahHugo

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Hi guys
I am a bit of a lurker, and rarely post, but I would appreciate your thoughts on my current situation as I am so confused

I currently have a 3 year old gelding - and I was planning on doing bit of everything with him. In May I had a freak accident and I smashed my tibia plateau in 7 places and now have 6 screws and plate (and still on crutches!!) I will recover, but I feel quite fragile.

He has always been awkward, and we struggled with him in the beginning as he hadnt been handled properly and basically had no respect for space etc. With help from one of Kelly Mark's ppl and a dually, we have not solved his leading problem, and he is now very well handled

I have always known he is a one person horse, even to the extent where he will let a stranger chase him around the field for an hour, and I can just walk straight up to him. I assume something has also happened in his stable in the past, because whilst I can happily go in there, he is very defensive towards new people. I found it frustrating, and I asked other ppl to handle him - but ultimately he is my horse, and I didnt have a problem with him.

Anyway! I recently send him to a professional stud to be started and he was very naughtey. Turning his bum on strangers to catch him in stable and ears back most of the time. He was taught to lunge and he tried everything to evade situation. He was cornering and even threw himself on the floor in a paddy! If he doesnt want to do something, there are no limits! They felt that I should sell, as they feel is temperement is not great and he has an amazingly stubbon nature. He is not frightened of anybody, and so bold. Anyway, he didnt get away with it and when I picked him up, they demonstrated what they had taught him and he was an angel.

Anyway now he's home and I am really fighting my heart and head. Since he has been home he has been an angel - no faces and lunged like a dream.

Pros keeping him..
Lovely horse (dream horse)
I know him, and I feel capable handling him.
I know he has his 'moments' but he always pulls through.
I have a strong network of professional support if I need it.
Plus adore him.

But ... Cons
After my accident my out look has changed. He could make 17h and I'm 5ft 3 (now its an issue)
He is a baby and is extremely stubbon (not sure how far he would go under saddle??)
He has not got the easiest temprement!
He was bred for showjumping, and I will not physically be able to do what he is capable of.

I always had in mind to get him pofessionally backed anyway - wouldnt attempt myself.

I fancy something alot older and smaller - but he's just not easy to say goodbye too.

Cant keep or loan as I already have a semi retired horse with whom I promised a home for life.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading
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I am really sorry for your dilema, I think you have one of the hardest decision to make, we on here can give you our opinions but at the end of the day you in your heart know what needs to be done.

I would personally have him professionally broken to ride and see what he is like, if you have any doubts that you will not use him to his full potential then I would sell him once he is backed and maybe done a few outings so he has a record, maybe find someone who he likes and will work with and then look for a older more suitable horse once he is sold, but always remember horses are very unpredictable.

Sending you hugs and positive vibes for a speedy and full recovery. Its never easy to say goodbye to a much loved horse.
 
You said it 'I fancy something a lot older and smaller'
Do your self a favour and sell him. Horse ownership for the most of us is supposed to be fun. There are lot of people of your stature who are very capable of riding something that big but do you honestly want to ??
It won't be easy to say goodbye - never is - but sometimes we just have to put on our sensible head and do it. I didn't really want to sell my boy but tbh I was never going to ride him again as he had zapped my confidence big style. I couldn't afford to get hurt again - I don't bounce like I used to. Didn't want to keep him as a field ornament either.

Don't feel bad - get something more suitable and know that you would be making the right decision for you.
 
A difficult time for you
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If it was me and i really had decided that maybe this baby would outgrow me in size I think I would opt to hold onto him until he was a little further on in his education. As he stands at the minute he may end up with someone far less sympathetic.
 
Agreed with silverbreeze.

He could just end up being passed around and get worse. Perhaps you could put him on loan for a few months so you can keep an eye on how he's getting on, and then let him go when you know he's settled, so after 3 months the buyer decides they can't handle him and sells him off cheap to someone worse.
 
Tricky and hard choice. These animals cost a lot of money but then like kids, once you have then you have a certain responsibility for their welfare going forwards. How about you get him professionally broken and then loan him to someone with a view to buy - assuming you can afford to do this? Perhaps you could sell him and as a condition of sale (in the agreement) it be that they have to offer you first refusal if they want to sell him on? I know that may be unorthadox but if you find a really decent home for him I am sure that they will happily agree to that. Good luck with it all x
 
My youngster was a monkey at 3yo. I bred him, so he'd been consistently handled, but I sent him away to be professionally broken and he was very naughty at times - he dragged the poor girl across the arena on teh lunge and broke free more than once. Anyway, they worked through it, got him just sat on and then I turned him away for the winter. I spent all winter convinced I would sell him in the spring - he was already bigger than I wanted and I didn't want something that sharp and talented.
Spring came, and I had to start working him to show people. And he was really good, so I just carried on. We're now hacking out and he's an absolute diamond! I'm so glad that I didn't sell him last year when he was going through his teenage tantrums. I'm sure he'll still have his moments but sometimes naughtiness on the ground when first learning doens't mean naughtiness when ridden. Anyone can handle him now too
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So don't do anything too hasty
 
My mare is better ridden , than on the ground she drags me sometimes, walks into me and squashes me in the stable, and today she shoved the freezer lid and it crashed down and hit me in the back big bruise later its just inpatience with her , but fun to ride the trick is to get her in tack up quick like lightning dont chat to people just get on and go , but it works for us well it has to after 8 years, think you could loan until he finds someone like me that will love him for what he is and put up with him, by the way i am and always will be the boss when it comes to mine she just thinks shes in charge x
 
I'm surprised to see myself writing this but I genuinely think if you're having doubts at this stage I would say your head is right and you should sell.
I appreciate it must be a tough decision, but he strikes me as the type of horse to need a home that will push to get the best out of him, and sadly with your size already a possible issue and your injury-related fragility making you weaker, I believe you will both have a smoother, more enjoyable future if you go your seperate ways now.
Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear?
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I think you should have him professionally backed and then sell him. I bred a horse a few years ago who was very similar in temperament to yours and he put me in hospital for 6 weeks with a fractured spine and a pin and plated head of femur. He came back to me several months later, having been on loan to a friend. I planned to keep him but he was still bolshy and difficult so I made the hardest decision I have EVER made in my life and I sold him. Heartbreaking I can tell you!

I think you might find that you won't be quite as brave as you used to be and as ali ^ says, you will be much more fragile. Do the sensible thing for both you and him. Good luck!
 
I would have him professionally backed, ideally by a NH practitioner as this seemed to suit him, didn't you say, see how he is and if you still feel he isn't 'the one' then with him being rather tricky and a 'one person horse' take your time in finding the right home for him. There will be someone out there who will click with him, just like you, guaranteed, but it may just take some time. Perhaps emphasising a Natural Horsemanship home is preferable may attract the type of home he needs. He sounds like he needs time and patience and a very understanding, knowledgeable person, but he also sounds as if he potentially has a lot to offer if they produce him correctly and am sure you will have no trouble in finding him a wonderful home. Alternatively, whilst he has the breeding for SJ, he doesn't know that, so you may find you can find an alternative 'niche' both you and him can enjoy. So long as you are happy and he is happpy, who cares if he never SJ. Racehorses are bred for racing but the vast majority of them never make it and are re-trained, making excellent riding horses, eventers, even happy hackers.

I hope you make a full recovery from your injury xxx
 
Thank you for all of your very useful comments. I assure you that they have all been noted.
Think it's his size more than anything. His bum is about 16.2 now (3 this month).
My gelding is 16.1 but ISH and very wide, I wanted something 'finer' (which he is) and I just fell in love with him.
Size didnt bother me then, but since my injury I must admit that I have wimped out. I would have been riding him now (if wasnt for accident) Was so looking forward to it.
I am just trying to minimise the risk of hurting myself again(if that's possible around horses!)
Natural horsemanship has worked wonders as he was on his own since he was weaned, and really thought he was the king! After many hours, he is great on the ground, and traffic.
Just wish he would shrink!!! dare say I would keep him then!!
Thanks for your help and well wishes xxx
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