Pony Club Mums

[hairycob]

O has just joined Pony Club & is really enjoying it, but I have to admit I find the Mums scarey. Not nasty, they seem very nice in fact. But so self confident that it's a bit intimidating. I'm surprised that I feel this way. I'm not really a shrinking violet & have no problem dealing with Directors at the bank where I work.
I want to be like that - so just how do people become that self confident.

 

[LEC]

I was a PC daughter and my mother was probably a typical PC mother. She always told us we were mounted on the best and that it was our fault if it did not perform properly! Nobody else had half a good a horse as us even if we got eliminated at first fence.
I think if you start thinking like this you will be fine!

 

[Thistle]

which PC have you joined?

 

[hairycob]

It's son who has joined not me. It's Oakley Hunt North. He's doing badge work this afternoon. He has only been to 2 non riding sessions so far, but he is really enjoying it - & there is another boy at todays session.
I must admit I feel a bit of a wimp talking to the other Mums though I have only met a few. I get the impression that they have all been riding since before they were born & have forgotten more than I will ever know about horses. Whereas I took up riding at 40 & am just a happy hacker.

 

[Malibu]

my mother alwasy says it is my fault but she is not very self confident - its me who is the confident one! lol

we have loads of b*tches at our pc but mum does say its becuase they are jelous - shoudl ahve seen their faces when they saw ru! lol i just wind them up -its hilarious, i am very laid back and love a laugh and it is soooo easy to make them jelous and angry! please dont be intimidated by them they are just insecure really!

 

[spider]

Could you volunteer to help in some way. eg with fund raising, with a show. That could make you feel more involved and included and they always love people that help out. There's only room for so many bossy confident people. I'm sure that some of these women embarass their children. My children never rode but at events and activities they liked me to be quiet and stay in the background unless they needed help.

 

[Tia]

I know how you feel. I am a self-confident person aswell (can you tell

) but I just cannot bear the competitiveness of PC. I signed up my little daughter with it in the UK and sadly couldn't bring myself to take her to any meets. I had already met some of the Mums a couple of times and really that was as much involvement as was good for me.

I went to sign her up over here in Canada, having this dilluded sense that it might be different over here........sadly no it isn't, so once again daughter doesn't get to go.

Interestingly we have somehow become mildly involved in the western scene over here and it is absolutely nothing like the PC mentality. Everyone is very positive and genuinely helpful. Far nicer people in my opinion and just out for some fun and helping others, which is what I had been hoping for from PC.

Sorry I can't help you as these women intimidate me with their attitude and unbridling competitiveness.

 

[Malibu]

i am also a member of the riding club and it is FAR different - do you have a local riding club he could join too?

 

[Tia]

I don't think it matters how long you have been riding for to be honest - you are either that type of person or you aren't. I'm not.

I was put off PC as a child. I had a really fantastic 14.2hh who used to wipe the floor with all of the PC ponies and I used to be thrilled that my lovely girl would win most competitions and these kids used to scream and cry because they came second.

Incidently my pony was just a connemara X TB with no history and theirs were all these seriously expensive show ponies. I do admit to feeling awfully smug back then when I was the one receiving the red rosettes!

.

 

[TGM]

I must be very lucky with the Pony Club my daughter has joined - most of the other mums were very friendly. I only noticed one lady who was rather keen to impress everybody with the fact that they were competing at HOYs - something that she kept bellowing out at the top of her voice so everyone could hear!

I'd definitely second the suggestion to get involved and help out with activities - that way you will feel much more involved and included.

 

[siennamum]

I am a total PC mum, and know lots of others who are lovely. There's competitiveness - but that's the same wherever you go and at least on the whole people are generally knowledgeable. Best thing to do is simply go and talk to people, you'll find half of them are as anxious as you are and not sure what to say.
The best way to integrate yourself is to volunteer for something, I am generally to be found wielding a dishcloth, pen or microphone for large parts of the summer.
Some PCs are definitely more upper class & competitive than others. If you find yours is genuinely snobbish, then move, there are probably a couple in your area and they do differ.
Both my boys love t he PC, Charlie only really rides in order to go to PC camp, and they have made lots of friends.

 

[KateStartin]

i wasn't allowed to join the pony club because my mum did not want to be a PC mum!!!

TBH at the time i wasn't that bothered, now i'm older and a lot more competitive i do feel i missed out and am still playing catch up with some of those PC people. Not in riding skill but in competitive skill and opportunities often go to people who were well known in PC.

 

[dieseldog]

The PC mums all used to care me as well.. especially siennamum...

Luckily for my mum we didn't have any transport so I used to hack everywhere and she didn't really get to meet the other mums. I went to the same PC as LEC. There were some special parents there.

 

[LEC]

Great thing about Harriers is we were rubbish! Never did anything very impressive!

 

[dieseldog]

I know, did we do any teams - No because they couldn't find another 2 people to make one up.

 

[Snowberry]

we've been in 3 very different branches of Pony Club - the first was very scary and almost enough to put me off for life!! It was all about how much land you had, how much you spent on the pony and where you were skiing this year dahling!!
2nd PC was very, very competitive and we just liked picking and choosing what we went to so that was no good for us
Our current PC is great, the mums are lovely (obviously there are one or 2 competitive ones!) we dont HAVE to attend every single rally and the events are always very well organised!
My kids used to joke and say I was a Pushy Pony Club Parent - became PPCP!!

cos they knew it used to really annoy me!
Fingers crossed that once you get to know everyone it'll be come more fun - I'd definitely volunteer to help out and then that way you'll meet more mum's!
Good luck

 

[jemima]

Oh God they terrify me - they're all so bossy and know it all and we've really been put down for our ancient lorry and the fact that I can't be rrsed to go and change into sparkly clean gear and full makeup after I got the worst of the mud off the pony!

But then again you soon learn who will try to make friends with you and a really easy "in" is to make sure that at the end of any do you offer to help clear up - it seems to be that only the nice people can be bothered to help so its a quick way to find out who's nice!

 

[TGM]

[ QUOTE ]
we've really been put down for our ancient lorry and the fact that I can't be rrsed to go and change into sparkly clean gear and full makeup after I got the worst of the mud off the pony!

[/ QUOTE ] I must say we have a very ancient lorry which looks very out of place against some of the snazzy luxury ones, but we have never been put down for it at all. I do, however, ensure that daughter's gear is very clean, even if her grey pony is sometimes a tasteful shade of beige in the winter as she lives out!

 

[jemima]

TGM - daughter's gear is clean and pony, being bay, is clean AND it's proper colour (LOL). It's poor old mum the groom who is faced with either being late or being clean! I'm one of those people who only has to look at dirt for it to transfer itself to me!

 

[Clodagh]

I'm a pony club mum and not pushy!!

Mind you, its the Essex North, and we are very friendly and not too posh!!

 

[spooks]

jemima,what PC are you in ? we ae in suffolk hunt. my lorry is 30 years and got to be the oldest ive seen at any pc event or other show for that matter!! lol. it gets a few raised eyebrows when we chug into towerlands! lol our horses are dragged out of the field and slung on the lorry and groomed/smartened up when we get to whereever we are going.dont know if anyone has put me down for it ,certainly not to my face anyway and if they cant say it to your face it isnt worth hearing in the first place ! we have our share of posh people who wont give you the time of day which suits me fine. i speak to a few other mums but i knew two before we joined and one of those teaches at the rallies, so have met a few more through her.. oh and as for the ancientness of your lorry , its what you get off the lorry that matters! mine has never let me down yet and i know someone who spent 15 grand on lorry which broke down twice in a matter of weeks of them having it.

 

[brighteyes]

We do Pony Club and find it changes from year to year with the mix of members. It's quite a modern branch with some very competitive members on pricey ponies. We (personally) don't have expensive animals and find that it's the homework one does which usually reaps the rewards in the competitions!

I am pleased if the kids ride well WHATEVER position they finish in, and I aim to enjoy the precious years they have left in this marvellous institutuion. Pony Club is mostly what you make of it and ponies are very good levellers. The team spirit we enjoy is marvellous, and those who drive everyone mad with their wonderful little person on their perfect little pony will eventually come unstuck.

Some of our best ponies didn't cost fortunes and are not in the flush of youth either. Very much agree that it's not the lorry - it's what comes off the lorry.......

 

[Thistle]

I go to some of the EHNPC events

 

[Patchwork]

It depends on the Pony Club - I have heard some real horror stories about competitive spoiled brats/pushy parents but can honestly say that our Pony Club is totally the opposite. We have all sorts and nobody ever looks down their nose at anyone else for not having a 'posh' pony/lorry/tack, and although basic tidyness is expected as a courtesy to the instructors everyone understands that always turning up with a sparkling clean pony that lives out 24/7 in December is not practical! A lot of the committee are not horsey born and bred but are interested in helping the kids to have a good time, and anyone who wants to compete in a team is always welcome.

 

[emma69]

PC mums are a breed unto themselves. I used to teach a few little darlings on their ponies, and it was an experience!!! They all used to drive daughters to one person's house, where I would teach them. I lasted all of 5 minutes before insisting that they went back to the house and left me alone! They took some getting used to, and I had to teach them a thing or two about the 'fun' element of horse riding, but in the end we got along fine! Don't let them intimidate you, just find something that you are confident about (horsey or non horsey) and steer the conversation around to that, it will give you a little boost, and if you keep at it, commenting when you are confident about something, then you will soon be fine. I have a feeling that they aren't as confident as they make out, and some of them really are lovely people underneath all the bravado!

 

[Enfys]

PC Mum here too, was Branch Secretary too for several years. We were at a very small Branch though and had a mix of Mums, I tend to be of the "So you didn't win, bad luck! Try again next time, or not all" philosophy.
In some branches I've had dealings with the Mums were seriously competitive, bigger/better/more expensive show/jumping ponies all the time, talk about keeping up with the Jonses!. I enjoyed being involved with my Pony Club, but it was different as PC activities ALL happened where we kept the horses so I was always on the spot anyway.

 

[darksided]

Haha I remember winning a small class at a local show with my friends pony, and a reknowned PC Mum remarking to observers "the judge only picked her because she felt sorry for her" LOL

r00d!!
I gave up my Pony Club centre membership because people took it too seriously at times, one girl was found weeping in her horse's stable because she had come something like 6th in the combined training.
But I'm sure there are some absolutely fabulous centres and branches out there that are a lot of fun!!

 

[jemima]

Don't get me wrong - we've settled in now and know who to get along with and who EVERYBODY has problems with. Now we are firmly established as ready to help - whether that means loaning a pony, bringing transportless kids to rallies, putting jumps away, arena party, life is easier.

Megotto - aha, so when we were at Ickworth I suspect yours was the lorry that we looked at and noted was older than ours (she's just coming up for her 29th birthday). Yours is lots prettier than ours though!But she's been SO reliable (touch wood). Mind you she's out on average three times a week which helps I think. As for the Suffolk Hunt branch - we did our second competition of any kind at Ickworth and everyone was really nice to us, we always enjoy going there are are hoping to get over a couple of times next year.

 

[TGM]

Apologies Jemima - I obviously read your post wrong! (I'm always covered in mud and with no make-up when I take daughter to PC as well!)

 

[spooks]

was it this one you saw ? (excuse the burnt out car next to it,local yobs got bored one night! ) i always look at other lorries to see if any are older than mine lol. mine cost me a grand off ebay in february,it has just cost me another grand to get it through its MOT ! but worth doing. it starts first time everytime and i do take it for a jolly once a week if we are not using it just to keep it ticking over. ill save you a space at the ickworth events ,then we can be shunned together! lmao